Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: A Guide to Tombeau

Today is Ash Wednesday, which means absolutely nothing in the DFO lexicon in our infinite unwashed massitude. BLEERGH knows no Ash Wednesday and Boltman’s Ash Wednesday is just called Wednesday. Actually, there’s no distinction in the day of the week and the ashes of burnt femurs, all days are equal to Boltman.

Anyway, we got music! For today, let’s go with the Classical genre of tombeau. Well first off, what is a tombeau? A tombeau is a genre of musical composition that commemorates the death of an individual. And to the extent I know of Lent it’s Jeebus-death related, so fuck it, it counts as a perfectly cromulent musical theme for the day.

The first one I’d say I think of is Ravel’s Le tombeau de Couperin, named for French composer and keyboardist François Couperin (1668-1733), but written in the memory of six composer friends (okay, seven, one movement is for a pair of brothers) who had died in World War I.

And if we’re going to talk tombeaus, whether it was or it wasn’t, but fuck if I’m not gonna give myself a chance to talk about the Chaccone.

What we do know is that Bach came back to Köthen and Maria Barbara Bach, his first wife, had passed. I haven’t done the math and intricacies of the Chaccone and seen if any tombeau puzzle stuff works out. That’s not my future DMA paper, though I guess I could potentially take a section of it as proof of concept before working into the meat of it. Also regardless I’d have to expand on the 15 pages or so I wrote for a paper I wrote during my Master’s. Anyway, I could go on about the Sonatas and Partitas, and at some point, believe me, I will.

But not today.

What’s the news?
QAARON’S QAVE WATCHQ: Aaron Rodgers has emerged from his darkness retreat and predicted six more weeks of winter. Okay, no news so far. What, you think he’s gonna choose to spend more time with his family?

Speaking of family, David Carr on Derek’s free agency: It’s “going to be a long process.”

Brock Purdy had swelling in his elbow, delaying his UCL surgery to March.

Seahawks re-sign OG Phil Haynes to a one-year deal.

On the other hand, Titans had to do some cap stuff, cutting OT Robert Lewan, WR Robert Woods, LB Zach Cunningham, and K Randy Bullock.

Notable favorite assistant coach name Jim Bob Cooter to be the Colts’ OC.

Chargers DC Renaldo Hill to join Vic Fangio in Miami. Source says it’s to be the Dolphins’ defense pass-game coordinator. (Secondary coach Derrick Ansley will become the LAC DC.)

Longtime college coach Willie Taggart to join the Ravens as RB coach.

Do you like miked-up QBs? Well Netflix has a show for you, following Marcus Mariota, Kirk Cousins, and Patrick Mahomes through the 2022 season, called Quarterback.

Former RB and one-time Madden cover player (yes, that did happen) Peyton Hillis is expected to make a full recovery after he helped rescue people (including a family member) from drowning back in January. He had been on a ventilator at one point.

What about sports?

Puckball
Chi**** vs. Debbie Does (CHI vs. DAL, 9:30, TNT)

No varsity, but JV Baskety
Providence Plantations vs. Horatios (Providence vs. UConn, in progress, FS1)
Noted F-Zero Stage Big Blue vs. Swamp Cats (Kentucky vs. Florida, 7:00, ESPN)
Not the Court of Owls vs. Whatever a Bearcat is (Temple vs. Cincinnati, 7:00, ESPN2)
The Butler Did It vs. #DePauls (Butler vs. DePaul, 8:30, FS1)
W/NC vs. The Bells, Bells, Bells (UNC vs. Notre Dame, 9:00, ESPN)
#2 Fightin’ Not-Sabans vs. Heh, Cocks (Alabama vs. South Carolina, 9:00, ESPN2)

Pretty lean day, so I guess it’ll be a chill out and talk to your friends day.