Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

Don’t have much to say today, rushing between calls to get this post done, and I’ve now got a lovely man cold. So feel like shit and am tired, but can’t sleep due to the cold. Send thoughts and prayers.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone [in bed]
J.R.R. Tolkien, ‘The Fellowship Of The Ring

A good partner makes everything better.

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Just real quick:

Know who won’t make this list [ of things that have jumped the shark]? Bill Watterson.

I love to hate as much as anyone but I feel this is an excellent opportunity, in the moment, to contrast the point that ACTUALLY not everything decent needs to sell out from inception.

blaxabbath

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T’au is also what the Dolphins medical staff call their QB when his brain has been rearranged by the other team.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Outstanding work this week! There were lots I didn’t see the first time!
ballsofsteelandfury

“Ha-Ha, yeah, me too, that’s why I didn’t say how good they were when I first read them. Which I can do. Totally.”

-Lea Michele, looking around nervously
Horatio Cornblower

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Can I get a DUDE up in heah?!!

Gumbygirl

Hi, Seamus. Leave the radio alone.
WCS

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A lot of people think vacuum clogs are the Dr. Mrs. Deadly’s kryptonite, but they’re wrong. It’s zip-lock bags. On the occations that she manages to close them successfully, she traps enough air in them that basically we’ve got a freezer full of balloons.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Teach her to insert the vacuum cleaner into the bag and shrink wrap it.
Brick Meathook

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My father’s concerned that Trump’s upcoming arrest, (any day now! no, this time we’re serious!), is going to result in civil war, and I don’t think my reply that “Well the world needs more Ashley Babbitts” is helping his state of mind.
Horatio Cornblower

Maybe this time we won’t fuck up reconstruction!
Sharkbait

By GAWD that’s Zombie General Sherman’s music!
King Hippo

Sharkbait

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Good evening, folks. So what’s with ultra conservative Americans wanting a Civil War? I know they haven’t thought this through, but, have they put a single thought to how catastrophic that would be and the war would be long and gruelling? Fuck
Wakezilla

No, they haven’t. They haven’t thought about the long term ramifications of any of their thoughts. That’s why they’re wingnuts.
scotchnaut

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Holy shit, my local news is reporting that GM is stopping production on the Camaro!
(a new model is in development)

Someone let Boss Todd know, but gently.
Horatio Cornblower

“THANKS OBAMA.” -Diamond Joe
Senor Weaselo

“They need to bring back the Trans-AM!”
-also Diamond Joe
LemonJello

March 23, 2023 10:32 am
“NO TRANS!!”

-JK Rowling
Horatio Cornblower

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THIS THE 1963 CHRYSLER TURBINE I CALL IT ASHLIII BABITT BECAUSE A POPULAR US LEAD DEPOSIT FUCKED THIS STUPUD THING UP HARD!
blaxabbath

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What the hell happened? How is Gonzaga ahead now?
Mr. Ayo

UCLA has gone as cold as…

Horatio Cornblower

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Me: “Son, I’m tired of waking up at 4:15am twice a week to make sure you get on to one of our trucks. Things have got to change somehow.”

/that son is the heaviest sleeper ever and sleeps thru multiple alarms

Son: “I’ve got a solution! I’ll stay up all night after I get home from the warehouse!”

Me: “But what if you fall asleep?”

Son: “Well,,,then,,,you could wake me up!”

Me: “…”
scotchnaut

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Also, Trader Joe’s salads are awesome!
ballsofsteelandfury

I would like some Waldorf salad now, pleaseandthanks!
Gumbygirl

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Pretty sure I dated the Devil’s Titty in law school. It’s like the opposite of Rikki’s Most Boastful Story ever told.

Here it is: Met a good-looking blonde in a Subway shop after a night at the bars, went out a few times and discovered that she was a) possibly insane, clearly racist, and definitely a liar but also b) was amazing at oral sex. Seriously, it was incredible. Made me forget about all of the other stuff for several weeks, anyway.

Anyway, if you make the drink it needs to have a heavy cream presence. She’d prefer white cream, obviously, and as I type that I realize the obvious double-entendre. Goddammit.
Horatio Cornblower

THE BLOWJOBS FROM THIS GIRL I CALL THEM A BACK INJURY AS DIAGNOSED BY MIAMI DOLPHINS TEAM DOCTORS BECAUSE THEY MAKE YOU FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING FOR SEVERAL WEEKS.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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If you leave out the simple syrup, the [Collins] drink becomes extremely sour and is what’s known as a Tom Coughlin.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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BFC and Brick had a summit meeting on Capitol Hill this evening.

At one point, while looking at a list of electric vehicles on BFC’s phone, he switched windows and there was a list of all of you DFO kommenters.

We then proceeded to discuss and judge each and every one of you.
Brick Meathook

We need the official rankings from this composium.
Mr. Ayo

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Does this count as a Sexy Friday post?

Redshirt

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Well, a successful DFO meetup. Blax hasnt killed me yet. He does know the desert where i could be dumped.
litre_cola

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Wife: “Why do you spend so much money on books?”

Also Wife: [is away this weekend in Toronto and next week in Montreal]
scotchnaut

Well Dear I’ll admit there are other things I could spend more money on…

I thought Chicks liked brainy guys? Maybe time to go a little bad boy? Get a Harley?
2Pack

Our 20 year-long running joke is that I’m ‘book smart’ and she’s ‘street smart’. It’s pretty much bang on though.
scotchnaut

And the roots of your aggression towards street people are revealed….
Dunstan

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Wakezillette had a dream and decided to draw a picture of the dream.

She drew a picture of me living happy with another woman (a blonde, which is surprising), Wakezillette living with her abuela, Mrs. Zilla living with Toddlerzilla in another home and Mrs. Zilla’s engagement ring in my trash, and the new woman wearing Mrs. Zilla’s wedding ring.

Wakezillette is mad at me. Yes, this shit starts early and girls are insane.
Wakezilla

“My advice? Smile at her, put a gentle hand on her shoulder, and tell her in no uncertain terms that it was her fault for dreaming it in the first place.”

-excerpt from The Art of War, probably
scotchnaut

Women have this thing about holding their dreams against you. Babe how about laying off the Taco Bell and cutting homeboy here some slack on that chit…
2Pack

It is amazing. My lady friend got mad at me the other day because she dreamed some girl in the office was trying to get into my pants.

Not some specific girl, mind you, just A girl. No name. No face.

Yet I still had to remind her I hate everyone at work.
ballsofsteelandfury

There is nothing worse than being punished for what you did in a girlfriend’s dream.
Brick Meathook

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Found a funny: Crow v. Wade

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Me: “I’ve been dog-tired all week-finally get to sleep in.”

My Brain: [6:15] “Hey buddy, what’s up, aside from you?”
scotchnaut

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Don’t think I would put Cancun and Vancouver on my top five, but I agree with the others. Not sure what else I’d put in my top five, but some pleasant surprises for me were Cape Town and Singapore. Also love New Orleans and Montreal and Melbourne.

I had one of my best travel experiences in Tokyo. It was my last night there, was heading off the next morning to a small town whose name I’ve forgotten before moving on to Kyoto. Anyway, I went to a sushi bar near where I was staying and was seated next to this older couple. It was late winter, so I was wearing my fleece zip-up from the Laphroaig distillery, and hanged it on the back of my chair. The gentleman next to me noticed it and asked me about it because he was a whisky fan.

They spoke a modest amount of English, and of course I knew about ten words of Japanese plus whatever my guidebook listed. (This was before Google Translate.) When my beer glass was running low, he poured me a refill from his bottle and said “Japanese tradition.” (Which is apparently true — you’re not supposed to refill your own glass.) When his ran low, I refilled it from mine and said “Canadian tradition.”

So we chatted and ate and drank, and then as we were all finishing, he turns to me and says “we go to bar, drink whiskey?”

Well, dear readers, that is not an invitation I am likely to refuse. So I said of course, and his wife said goodnight and he led me to this hole-in-the-wall place in the neighborhood that had an incredible supply of whiskies from around the world. As you would expect, it was full of whisky afficionados, so I chatted with the bartender, a finance bro sitting near us, and various other folks, as well as my friend from the sushi bar.

The one unfortunate thing was that, as I said, I was leaving Tokyo in the morning, so I had to decline his offer to show me around the next day. But we had a great time drinking some fine malts for the next couple of hours. Eventually he excused himself and we said goodnight. Later I discovered that he had discretely paid the entire bill himself before leaving, the sly bastard.

Anyway, they say to never follow someone to a second location, but I think “we go to bar, drink whisky” is a good exception.
Dunstan

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I just went to Shake Shack for the first time. Burger, fries, and a lemonade. Not bad, but it cost eighteen fucking dollars.

I dined on my eighteen fucking dollar burger and fries here, in the main hall of Washington Union Station. I go way back with this place, coming here as a little boy to pick up my grandmother when it was gloriously decrepit.

Brick Meathook

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I can see my old man doing this, too.

WCS

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/less than 10 minutes ago

Me: “What are you making?”

Son’s GF: “Pico de Gallo”.

Me: “Did you know that dish was named after the Spanish explorer that discovered South America?”

Son’s GF: “Really? I didn’t know that.”

Son: [in the adjoining room] “Stop it! Don’t listen to him.”

/don’t really appreciate my son undermining me like that
scotchnaut

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Going to a beer festival shortly.

I’m not guaranteeing a mock draft tomorrow, but I’ll try.
Horatio Cornblower

Tomorrow’s draft: places Horatio puked
Game Time Decision

“Places to puke” would actually be a fun draft topic someday.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have a good one!
Gumbygirl

Was it your favorite place to puke?
Dunstan

It certainly wasn’t for the guy in the convertible Porsche.
Gumbygirl

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“First time you use the pot you’re going to want to give it a good soaking. I went about 16 hours.”

Wow, that’s impressive!
–The male students at BYU
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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How the cinnamon toast fuck am I 4th in the bracket challenge? All of you below me need to go to the box and feel shame.
Sharkbait

Most of us stopped feeling “shame” a long time ago.

“Shame.”
WCS

/glance at “go to the box and feel shame”
// goes to workshop a few jokes
/// gets drunk, forgets about the whole thing

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The important part of the story is that the wonderful sexually adventurous coeds at San Diego State are having a wonderful time.
ballsofsteelandfury

WCS

This is how Balls thinks

Gumbygirl

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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