Greetings friends. I’d like you to take this time to be kind to your church musician friends. They’re going through the crazy part of the schedule. As this is Holy Week, the one where they’ve got things all the damn time for the next four days, starting tomorrow. Holy/Maundy Thursday? You betcha. There’s a service then. Then, there’s Good Friday service. Then, surprisingly the longest of the bunch, Easter Vigil, which is Saturday night. I played it for the first time last year and it’s a solid 2 1/2, 3 hours. You know it as the one with the people walking in with the candles and if you’re in Italy they’re dressed up like the Klan? Or is that Good Friday. Italian agent 2Pack would be able to shed further light.
No, that’s not the South, and this wasn’t yesterday’s MAGArraignment, it’s apparently Good Friday in Sorrento. (Link)
By the time you get to Easter service, or double service, no longer a problem. So give love to your church singers and organists when all is said and done, and possibly a double shot, whether alcoholi or espresso. Meanwhile violinists and trumpeters are like “And which ones do we get to do?” (So far in my life I’ve played Holy Thursday, Vigil, and Easter Sunday. Not too much Good Friday.)
Which is good, because unfortunately for my current primary contracting end, it’s Passover. Nothing doing during Passover, we don’t play the Seder in case you’re wondering.
Speaking of, people of a certain age would tell you about the animated movie The Prince of Egypt. Good film. I think I might have seen it only once though so I don’t remember much of the detals. People of the same age would also tell you Rugrats has the best Passover special. They’d be absolutely right about that one. Listen, The Ten Commandments is on ABC, but it airs for approximately one eternity.
Okay, the news
QAARON’S QAVE WATQH QTILL QONTINUES: Current update: If the Jets talks fall apart the Niners want in.
Speaking of HoF QBs, John Elway’s consultant contract has been sent to the glue factory (not renewed).
Former Qards VP Terry McDonogh accuses Michael Bidwell of gross misconduct, including discrimination, harassment, and… cheating? I mean, that’s bad, but as long as there aren’t 34 counts of using the cheating as a business expense I figure that’s fine, right?
That’s Rikki’s Raiders! is now Hoyer Country. And former P*ts gritback Danny Amendola joins the team as an assistant coach.
Sports
Dirtball
Team Nepotism vs. Lesser Arrowhead (TOR vs. KC, 7:40, MLBN)
Iceball
Jacob Trouba’s Inevitable Trade Destination vs. Trouba’s Current Team (TBL vs. NYR, 7:30, TNT)
BOOTS ON THE GROUND! Never been to a Rangers game, having been peer pressured into following hockey during high school and not getting the chance to play Wieniawski’s Scherzo-Tarentelle on the ice (only at halftime of Knicks and Liberty games), but I’m on spring break. (I have been to a hockey game, which was Isles-Devils, preseason, and it was… Hockey Math Day or whatever. It was in 6th grade, and I remember there was a fight, and then as soon as they both got out of the box, second fight.)
Fightin’ McDavids vs. Knuckle-Puck Time (EDM vs. ANA, 10:00, TNT)
Woodball (heh)
Alan Parsons Project vs. Leicester Alliance (CHI vs. MIL, 7:45, ESPN)
Staples Battle! Lakers vs. Clippers (10:00, ESPN)
Robot Fights?
Yes, it’s the return of RoboGames, the biggest non-televised competition out there. Mainly because there are more weight classes than at NHRL, though that might be the foremost for 3-lb. beetleweights. You can follow the Twitch stream here starting tomorrow.
Will I get home to start writing the BattleBots Beat at a reasonable hour? Find out!
Late edit:
Based on what happened tonight (and has happened 11 times in a row now, apparently) the former Staples Center should be called the Clipper Ship.
Though NTSB Arena also has a nice ring to it. They could call it “The Hangar”.
Debating whether to attend my 25th college reunion. I went to the 20th and had a good time, but nothing particularly notable has happened in my life in the last 5 years. At the moment there’s only one person attending who I’d be interested in catching up with. But I know of a couple others who are kind of in the same boat as me. Maybe we’ll just have dinner together concurrent with the banquet and then swing by after everyone is drunk.
It depends on the church and religion. I used to go to a Baptist church as a kid, but the paster was completely greedy. He spent one month (four sermons) teaching his flock that “Jehovah Jireh” meant that once a year, we need to give 20% of our salaries as an offering because “The Lord will provide”. Now, that would work if he used that money to help spread the word of God, to help feed the hungry, and clothe the needy. Nope, he built a second entrance way to face the main road and the most god awful cross I’ve ever seen over the door. Its barely considered a cross; its a 50 foot tall silver rod with a 2 foot beam two-thirds the way up.
As a Christian, from what I can tell, the best churches I’ve gone to are the ones run by those who survived the boring churches they were dragged to as kids with their faiths intact. Admittedly, based on the world it is now, that’s a bit less.
Gotta say that’s exactly how I drew up attending my first Rangers game: Two goals from Tyler Motte.
Also, you know, two from Kreider, three assists by Zibanejad including a filthy move that he hit the post on but Kreids stuffed home, and four fights, but this is a Tyler Motte appreciation post!
“Tyler Motte? I don’t even know where I’d find her Motte!”
I’m not sure which I find more offense. A game featuring Washington’s Old Team Name or Robert Griffin III before the knee injury.
EDIT: If the Bengals got a 31-year playoff curse for hurting Bo Jackson on a normal play, with apparently all future playoff losses to end painfully tragic/funny (inside/outside fanbase), everyone involved in ruining RGIII should at the very least have to get trucked in an Oklahoma Drill once every year.
I’d be fine with Danny Boy having to get a pineapple shoved up his butt every day for a year.
It’s Crypto.com Arena now, remember? The bankruptcy reversion to naming rights won’t be happening for at least another two or three weeks.
So we have time to pass the hat around and buy the rights ourselves, right?
DFO Arena?
Pants Optional Arena?
Roger Goodell Is An International Disgrace Arena?
I will contribute to naming:
Horatio’s Midget-Quarium and Dwarf Revue Center
Seamus Memorial Coliseum
I’d want to go with something that pissed off the fans every time they walked through the front door. Apology Rock Arena, maybe?
Sexual Assault Settlement Stadium, perhaps?
Hero Helicopter Arena
WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREEEEEERENA
Kobe Was Overrated Arena?
“Kobe Tell Me How My Butt Tastes Arena” — S. O’Neal
I’m headed to bed but my late night snack is-
Raisin Bran
Golden Grahams
Tripleberry Oatmeal Crisp
Honey nut Raisin Thingy
Some Apple Muesli conglomeration
/2% milk is doing the heavy lifting
Stolen from somewhere else, but how bad does the cereal need to be that mother fucking raisins improve it?
Gumby likes to mix cereals too. Keep your fucking Raisin Bran out of my Captain Crunch, you psycho!
Imagine if they just played this all damn day in church
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nK5emqWUwkU
Loved the Off Broadway version of this. “Jibbly Cake Super Snake” brought the homeless in by the dozens!
Litre’s hometown 1 Litre’s current town 0, perfect.
/the very first time I went to church
Me: “Dad, all my friends can’t play road hockey on Sunday morning because they have to go church. It’s important to them. Can you take me there?”
Dad: [takes me there]
Me: “This is really boring.”
Dad: “Yeah.”
/Fin
I don’t know Davey, sunday morning cartoons aren’t that bad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hb8GBSbBES0&t=29s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNuU3_wnpmg
Tonsil Hockey > Road Hockey
But that’s not a disparagement of road hockey, which is definitely fun.
I was raised Catholic. Once, as dumb child, I volunteered to go to Easter Vigil Mass on Saturday so I didn’t have to go on Sunday.
Kids are stoopid.
The three hour stations of the cross ordeal on Good Friday was the worst.
The 3 hour Catholic wedding ceremony stuff is right up there. Why make all your guests go through that?
Easter Vigil mass can reach four hours sometimes. There’s one in every parish every year.
But it’s not all on the kneeler, like Good Friday SOTC.
You have to go to the church with the hungover alcoholic priest. They know how to shorten mass up.
This is correct. Father Soban was blatant in his Yinzerism, so regular Saturday night masses during hawkey season were over in 40 minutes.
Yes, I know and it sucked. And I didn’t get paid any more for it than I did Easter Sunday service.
You guys are doing it wrong. They don’t even do that over here. 45 minutes and off to the reception Buddy.
We used to associate with a group of nuns that would do all the Holy Week masses. For a while Mom used to make us go to all of them. My brother and I had the idea of standing outside after Easter Mass selling “I Survived Holy Week” T-shirts.
The idea was shot down, but we would have made a killing. Which I’m pretty sure what Easter is all about anyway.
“Nailed It!”
-Jesus, a standup comic
The musicians would absolutely buy it.
My next door neighbor in Birmingham was (still is) the music director/ organist at the Catholic cathedral. His holiday schedule was brutal, and he has four insane boys at home. He would come over to hang out on our porch in the evenings after they went to bed. He was up for one beer, then he’d toddle off to bed. Our houses were really close together, small city lots. We could practically shake hands from our windows.There were times when I thought he’d just fall asleep in the yard.