An AmateUr’s Review of the 2023 Women’s World Cup Squadra Italia! (2pack’s great work)

Live from the 7:56 to Roma

OK, here we go – look out below. Hippo and Balls are on the assist, I greatly appreciate their help on this.  I know little about the subject, but do know how to blunder across the information super highway outside of the cross walks. So research and practical knowledge of the home nation norms should carry the day. I am writing this in true form, on a train working its way south across Italy towards Rome for bidnezz. It’s a fast train the trip will take a little under 4 hours. 46 years ago this ride was over 9 hours, and I’d always be seated next to some fat salami smellin guy. I lucked out today, seated with a couple of nice young ladies on vacay from Idaho. As fair warning to you all, I was once told by a boss that I write the same way I talk. Not sure if that was a compliment or simply an observation. My bet is it’s the latter. I guess it means I don’t write above my paygrade. And I’m OK with that. So as a bonus, should we ever meet, you’ll know exactly how I talk.

Now, on to the matter at hand.  The 2023 Italian Women’s National Soccer Team is ranked 16th in the world. They are in Group G along with Argentina, South Africa and Sweden. They begin play against Argentina July 24 th , and meet Sweden on July 29 th , finishing group play with South Africa on August 2 nd . An interesting game will be Sweden because midfielder star Aurora Galli, the first Italian woman to go pro, with Hippo’s Lady Everton no less, will meet her Swedish same sex partner Nathalie Bjorn in the match. See I bet you thought I’d comment on the critical nature of that game here. Give some kind of detailed in-depth analysis and betting tips. I will not. Italy will probably loose. Unless team Sweden comes down with some bad south Pacific juju. You should know me better.

The team is loaded with good looking talented experienced players and fresh new comers. Led by team captain Sara Gama from the Series A Juventus FC, they hope to build on the remarkable run they had in 2019. It had been 20 years since the team qualified for world cup play so the 2019 team brought back hope and interest to the women’s game in Italy. It’s funny how making it back into Cup play, then into the knockout round no less, will do that for a team.

CASTEL DI SANGRO, ITALY – JUNE 27: Sara Gama of Italy Woman poses during the Italy Women Team Photo & Headshots photocall at Teofilo Patinio Stadium on June 27, 2022 in Castel di Sangro, Italy. (Photo by Tullio M. Puglia/Getty Images)

The team’s roots date back to 1968. They reached the Women’s World Cup quarterfinals twice in 1991 and 2019. But that is as far as they have progressed historically. They have a chip on their shoulders. Those nice Hippo shoulders. They removed the men’s team earned 4 World Cup stars from their kit. I think that was a good move for them, they want to stand on their own. Forward Cristina Girelli is this team’s top scorer with 46 goals in international team Italia play.

Like much of women’s sports, the team’s popularity and public interest have been rather recently on the rise. Italy is a culture where the men’s team has dominated attention for generations. Similar to the way the NBA supports the WNBA in America, Italy’s Series A ball clubs now sponsor the women’s Series A counterparts. Since the fine run in the 2019 WWC, game attendance is robust. The most recent friendly match, a 2-1 victory over Colombia in Roma, was widely watched live on free Italian television. All major Women’s series A matches are televised with solid viewership. When the “Azzuri” are on, life stops here. That has always been true for the men’s team, I will report back on the hopefully similar events this year. When the games are on I’ll simply walk around the hood. You can tell what’s on the TV in each house on a warm, windows open, summer evening.

Since I have lived here the common year round sight has been boys of all ages on bikes or afoot, heading to the local sports field for practice or games. Gym bags over here were obviously designed by Italian mothers. They have a separate lower compartment with ridged plastic sides and bottom and a zipper closure. This is for your dirty shoes and stinky shorts, keeping clothing and other items in the upper portion cleanly separated. I use one daily to work and back from runs or the gym. Team logos adorn the bags of boys. They started to adorn the bags of boys… and girls… about 10 years ago. Prior to that girls played volleyball. And that was pretty much it. Now girls’ soccer teams at the local level are common. From Series A all the way down to Series C local “farm” clubs they are found in each town. As the father of two sports minded daughters (volleyball, fencing and Karate) over the years it has been great to watch.

So how will manager Melena Bertolini, who also led the 2019 team that out preformed expectations, and the 2023 squad do this time around? In group play likely a loss to 3 rd ranked Sweden. If they can beat Argentina and South Africa, they should advance into the knock out stage as the second place in Group G. There it’s likely they would get Group H’s Germany (uhg). That would probably end it, but if it does nawt… GO BELLE DONNE !!!

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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scotchnaut

I didn’t know that Bob Lanier passed away last year. The Bucks of the early 80’s were my fave team at the time. By the time he got there he was washed though. Do you remember old vids/pics of Bill Laimbeer wearing a guard to protect his broken nose? Welp, he fucked around with the wrong old school dude and found out. Lanier regretted it but his instincts were correct, imo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKBox1ltiDQ&ab_channel=RyanVanDusen

yeah right

He had like size 23 shoes. Wes Unseld played a similar game with zero hops and just a rebound machine.

Loved his game.

scotchnaut

George Karl-an assistant coach on the Spurs at the time-told us that Unseld (6’8″) could not dunk during his last year in the league.

scotchnaut

You must have been over the moon when Grandmama came to town. He was insane before the back injury.

scotchnaut

Mourning played for Georgetown. That’s an immediate no-go for me.

yeah right

But LJ played for UNLV a Hippo favorite if I remember correctly.

scotchnaut

Speaking of the Rebels, I thought Augmon was going to be Double Plus Rodman in the NBA. That’s Chapter Six in my unpublished book, “I’m Way More Stupid Than You”.

Redshirt

Russian Army loses to Ukraine

Ukraine loses to Wagner Group

Wagner Group loses to Russian Army?

There goes everything I learned in Discrete Math!!!

Last edited 1 year ago by Redshirt
Brick Meathook

At first I thought this was a parody, but no it’s a real fucking thing.

Now I want a sandwich.

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scotchnaut

Damn. Now I really want to try and cook multiple tomahawk steaks by tying them on a tripod made of branches and dangling them over a charcoal fire.*

*my garbage dog Molly would take that meat down the second I looked away though

scotchnaut

Can one get the meat sweats simply by watching a Brazilian BBQ festival? Let’s find out…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AqJB3k6HW4&ab_channel=bonfilhozulian

Dunstan

“Lots of Brazilian festivals give me the meat sweats” — Buddy Cole

scotchnaut

“Meat Sweats” is the name of Buddy’s favorite male stripper.

herodotus450

Actually, Thomas Jefferson and John Adams are constantly spinning in their graves, but in opposite directions so they cancel out.

scotchnaut

‘It’s called ‘Dead Presidents Off-Setting Centrifugal Force’, look it up, moron.”

Redshirt

That’s why it seems everything’s gone to shit since Reagan and Bush 41 died; we’re out of balance.

How soon until Clinton and Carter can straighten this out?

scotchnaut

Carter seems to be in a holding pattern. Four months in hospice? Fucker is trying to set yet another record.

Gumbygirl

I think he’s trying to hold out until Roslyn’s Alzheimers is bad enough she won’t notice when he goes. Always the gentleman.

Horatio Cornblower

Aaron Judge has a torn ligament in his toe and could miss the rest of the year.

So, when does football start?

scotchnaut

Four weeks after the Yankees are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs?

Horatio Cornblower

That soon?

Because without Judge they are basically a Little League team right this year.

scotchnaut

I wanted to give you Hope but that’s not possible at this time.

/I’m quoting Ronald Reagan when interviewed by Joseph McCarthy, btw.

blaxabbath

So Russia has nukes but hired troops?

Dunstan

I mean, technically the U.S. uses mercenaries, too.

Redshirt

A draftee is technically a mercenary as they are dismissed when the war is over.

Brick Meathook

A draftee wears the uniform of, has the ID of, and is under the command of a nation’s military. This is the complete opposite of a mercenary.

2Pack

Montreal gets a win today.

BeefReeferLives

In other news, Carson Wentz is being dragged for being a shithead. Good. Fuck him.

https://www.insider.com/nfl-quarterback-carson-wentz-washington-commanders-killed-black-bear-barbaric-2023-6

Gumbygirl

My sister’s husband is a Western Pennsyltucky kind of guy. They have a hunting camp in one of the northern wilderness counties. Frank’s son killed a black bear up there, and had it taxidermied. They have it in their basement. It is a tiny little thing, barely bigger than a cub. I was calling it BooBoo, which angered the rednecks. Tough shit.

Horatio Cornblower

If someone eats what they kill I don’t have a problem with it, (never had bear meat, hear it’s greasy as hell), but trophy hunters can get fucked.

BeefReeferLives

Word. I’m just fine with people hunting to put food on the table, but hunting just for killings sake, or as some kinda flex? Fuck that shit.

Redshirt

Putin’s Bitch passively defended his daddy. In other news, the sky is blue and water is wet

Horatio Cornblower

You’re gonna need to be a lot more specific than that.

Dunstan

Oh god, what possessed me to read the comments on The Athletic’s articles about the NHL’s cowardly Pride Night decision?

I don’t know what I expected.

Horatio Cornblower

This will be a controversial take, but I’m fine with that decision. I want my beliefs respected, and I expect others to have that same right. There are a lot of people who don’t believe that Pride Nights and what they represent are consistent with what they believe as individuals, and while I think those people are very, very wrong, I also don’t think they should be compelled to endorse them either.

I do, however, think that those people should be shunned and ridiculed for their beliefs.

Dunstan

But that’s just it. Nobody was being “compelled to endorse them.”

Players were allowed to skip wearing the Pride warmup jerseys. The ones who did were “shunned and ridiculed for their beliefs” as you suggest.

What the league decided was that having a few players be subjected to criticism was such bad publicity that they’d rather scrap the whole thing, in the hopes that this wouldn’t cause bad publicity. Which is maybe the correct assessment from a cold business point of view — the NHL is taking a lot of shit now, but it probably prefers that to having multiple controversies each season. (Although I wouldn’t count out there being further controversies under the new rule.)

Gumbygirl

There are simple fixes for this. Use your electronic fucking scoreboard to display pride stuff- that way, no one gets their fee-fees hurt. Hang a rainbow banner.

Horatio Cornblower

There you go. Now we just need Gary Bettman to step and do the right th…

Wait, wait, hang on, I just found another problem.

Mr. Ayo

That’s actually what they’re doing. Teams can still host any Pride night, Black History night, Cancer Awareness night, Indigenous Tribe night, etc. The only change is the players won’t have to wear a themed warm up jersey.

Glad I got my custom warm up jersey last year.

Dunstan

Well, to be clear, the players never “had to” wear the warmup jerseys. The difference now is that they CAN’T even if they want to.

Gumbygirl

Huh, I thought they just decided to ignore those things.

ballsofsteelandfury

I think it was more than a few players. That’s why they did what they did.

They don’t want to be known as the League that is intolerant.

Horatio Cornblower

You’re not going to persuade people to change their views by telling them “you’re wearing this fucking badge no matter what.” Gumbygirl’s idea would be the way to go, but then you get to Dunstan’s other point about the NHL, (or MLB, or NFL, or Bud, etc., etc.), looking at things from a cold business point of view and deciding that they’d rather not lose 7% of the business they get from bigots and morons.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Me, watching the Pringles Revolution unfold:

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ArmedandHammered

I thought that during my trip to San Francisco the wildest thing I might see would be the pride parade, not a Russian Civil War.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This guy Prigozhin is my favorite hot dog vendor since that guy Nick in the movie Bachelor Party.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2InmE6nINxM

Horatio Cornblower

Still blows my mind that that movie is on Tom Hanks’s resume.

ballsofsteelandfury

Outstanding work, 2Pack!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Exactly what I said when I heard California Love the first time.

2Pack

Thank you Sir. It was an information project for me. I’m looking forward to the games.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One of the most irritating things about following the Pringles Revolution online is how many people subscribe to this asinine “all of this is a planned psyops by Putin so he can clear out leadership at the MOD” theory.

No. Just…no. If Putin wanted to clean house at the MOD, there would be no need for a charade. He’d just do it. Who would stop him? Not every story has to have a shocking twist. Sometimes things are exactly what they look like.

yeah right

Plus there would be no way it would make international news. He usually just poisons people, little bitch man that he is.

Brick Meathook

Follow reliable news sources instead of rumor mills.

Dunstan

Conspiracy theorists, true crime afficionados, they all want to pat themselves on the back for how smart they are. Nothing is ever simple, it’s always twelve-dimensional chess and fake-outs and subtle long-term plans that only they can see through.

2Pack

She’s a real cutie. Just play the mysterious American, chicks here dig that, camo on the creepy by cloaking it in that. I’d certainly party with Christina, the photo here is not her best plus I’m all into that experienced lady thing.