Saturday Night Open Thread – The No More June Gloom Edition

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I am getting better. I remembered that I committed to write the Saturday Night Open Thread at least two hours before post time.

WHOOHOO!!

There are a LOT of things to discuss:

The weather has turned for the better. We are now in PEAK LA mode. It’s sunny and beautiful without it being too hot. The temperatures have been in the 70s and 80s and the beaches are packed with hot babes in bikinis.

This is predicted to last until August when El Niño goes into high gear and brings rain to the West Coast. If you can get out here, now is the time!

I played that charity golf tournament I told you about last week and my two-man scramble team scored an 82 on a fairly difficult course. The winning team got a 67 and out of the 72 teams, we finished somewhere in the teens.

Not too shabby!

The best part was that there was a raffle drawing for multiple prizes and I won a free round of golf. The universe is pushing me to continue to improve.

I haven’t commented on the submersible thing because I think it’s in bad taste to make fun of idiots that lose their lives in idiotic ways.

I’m very happy with the Women’s World Cup Previews that have been written so far. Thank you to all of you that have written them and thank you to those that have volunteered to write more. Anyone interested please let me know in the comments. There are still teams available!

The CONCACAF Gold Cup starts today with the USA – Jamaica game. Let’s see how many fights they get into.

Speaking of fights, let’s talk about the elephant/black bear in the room. The last few days have been interesting to say the least. Every person on the Internet seems to have an opinion as to what’s going on in Russia.

The truth is no one knows.

There is so much disinformation out there that it’s hard to tell what’s real or not. Suffice to say that there’s a power play going on. We won’t know the winners and losers until deaths are confirmed.

We certainly do live in interesting times and I don’t think that’s a curse.

Yours in the comments.

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Gumbygirl

Going to test this theory, for the millionth time- just to be sure! Sweet dreams tonight, gravy tomorrow

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Gumbygirl

Lyle Lovett, handsome feller, is on Austin City Limits. I saw this one, he does his classic “Pants is Overrated.” He is one of us!

2Pack

Who was the hottie he was married to?

2Pack

Oh chit, just Googled it, Julia Robert’s back in the 90’s

Gumbygirl

Gumby and I went to see him at Chastain Park in Atlanta years ago. He got two songs in and the most spectacular thunderstorm came out of nowhere and shut that shit down toot sweet. We ran for the car, completely soaked, and realized the tshirts we bought before the show completely ran to the point you couldn’t tell what used to be printed on them. So I have zero proof this actually happened. But it did. No show, no commemorative tshirt, no refunds.

WCS
Doktor Zymm

Weather in Madrid at 8 am is nicer than at 1 am

Mr. Ayo

grumblegrumblegrumbleWhether in tu Madre is nicer whenever I decidegrumblegrumblegrumble

2Pack

I started my run this morning at a 19 centigrade reading (6:30 am) ending it an hour later at 28. It gets hot quick this time of year.

Doktor Zymm

I was surprised it didn’t cool off more quickly last night since it didn’t feel that humid! Glad I’m headed up into the mountains today, high of 27 instead of 37!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ugh, I don’t want to wake up early tomorrow

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Dr. Mrs. is watching Queen Charlotte (a Bridgerton thing) and man these kids are about to put the “F” in “Buckingham Palace”.

WCS

They’re more like the half-naked buffet party Frank took Dennis to than you’d think.

Or so I’ve heard.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Probably would have been more relevant 24 hours ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIRsG0HLH7E

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m fine making fun of the submersible. The fucking hubris and hypocrisy of criticizing government and regulatory efforts while taking $450k of forgiven PPP loans….fuck em

yeah right

Right to the briny deep says I.

Let me know if you find Davey Jones Locker.

Motherfucker owes me 14 bucks!

Gumbygirl

Yes. Fuck that, fuck him, fuck rich people who could be doing something to help make life a little easier for people and instead throw money away on “look at me” bullshit.

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yeah right
Brick Meathook

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WCS

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yeah right

Got my noise canceling head phones on and I’m going in.

Oasis champagne super nova.

These things are the shit.

yeah right
Gumbygirl

I’m pretty sure that’s Champagne Supernover!

SonOfSpam

Stupid Angels gave up a run in the 8th, so the final is 25-1.

Weak, now the Rockies have all the momentum for tomorrow.

SonOfSpam

Best stat: game time was 2:58.

yeah right

I love the new rules very much.

Mr. Ayo

Lame. I don’t even have a sister to kiss.

SonOfSpam

grumble grumble and your mother’s busy grumble

Horatio Cornblower

The US decision making deep in the offensive zone could be charitably described as ‘atrocious’

Mr. Ayo

Almost as ‘atrocious’ as the Jamaican defense.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, they certainly didn’t cover themselves with glory on that play.

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t even give them credit for that. Entry pass right to a Jamaican player who knocked it down directly to the US goal scorer.

Mr. Ayo

Flop around and find out, fool.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yup. Last time I go jogging without wearing an athletic supporter, that’s for sure.

2Pack

Free golf is always great. Throw in rounds that include free cart girl support and it would take a forklift and a lowboy to get me offa da course.

Horatio Cornblower

Rikki hit it.

2Pack

Tell her your fans want a selfie with her next time. We are huge supporters of the cart girl industry.

yeah right

That’s the sign of a quality golf cart girl.

Senor Weaselo

The Tungstens have 24 runs through 7 innings. The Judgeless Judges have not scored 24 runs in their last 9 games.

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

Jamaican goalie is a UConn product. Just throwing that out there.

2Pack

We’d help her straighten up after eating too. We do gentleman things here people.

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2Pack

It’s hard to believe that she’s 44. Years as well as bust size. But generally Italian women take good care of themselves. People frequently guess Wifeys age as 10 – 15 year’s younger.

2Pack

Yep. I do not mind at all loitering in the malls. Especially now when the summer fashions are on display.

TheRevanchist

Jamaica is my favorite team in Concacaf right now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

TheRevanchist (artist’s conception):

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Mr. Ayo

Don’t think the Turtles care too much about this practice tourney.

Horatio Cornblower

They’re saving their energy for the glorious return of Gregg Berhalter.

/dies of sarcasm

Horatio Cornblower

Alexei Lalas talking about disappointing performances like the most disappointing performance in all of sports history wasn’t his mother’s OB/GYN failing to drop kick his newborn ass out of a 15th story window.

Tell us more about your exciting career in Ecuador, you fucking hack.

Last edited 10 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

“Lalas” was corrected to “Pallas” before I fixed it, which remind me of the Pallas cat.

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Here’s one of them making the same face I make when listening to Alexei talk about anything.

Gumbygirl

A keeper at the Birmingham Zoo told me that Pallas cats are the meanest of all the felines, pound for pound.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I assume he was originally talking about the U.S. showing in the 1998 World Cup where the U.S. offense, led by MTV’s darling Cobi Jones, scored only a single goal in three games.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

(oh and Cobi Jones wasn’t the one who scored the goal and also we lost to Iran. Iran!)

Horatio Cornblower

THAT 1998 USMNT I CALL THEM ‘ISHTAR’ BECAUSE HOLY FUCK WERE THEY A FLOP!!1

litre_cola

HOLT SHIT. Amy Winehouse was mates with The Specials. They played together quite a bit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lEgNyJQ2is

litre_cola
Horatio Cornblower

Every time I see her performing it’s just a huge reminder of what an absolute failure of a human being her father is.

Horatio Cornblower

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Over By Spam’s House Just Turn Left At The Jack In The Box And You Can’t Miss It are beating the Rockies 23-0 in the 4th inning.

And the Rockies are wearing their godawful City Uniforms, just adding so much salt to the wound(s)

Last edited 10 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
SonOfSpam

I am spent.

SO MANY POINTLESS RUNS.

SonOfSpam

HR on 3 straight pitches to open the 3rd inning, eventually rolling a 13.

Just followed up with an 8 run fourth.

Ohtani is only 1 for 5.

It’s silly.

SonOfSpam

Ohtani is the only guy in the lineup with fewer than 2 hits.

It’s the 4th inning.

Horatio Cornblower

What a bum.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE GUYS THE LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM I CALL THEM THE 1998 US WORLD CUP TEAM BECAUSE THERE WERE A BUNCH OF POINTLESS RUNS.

Brick Meathook

Their name means “The The Angels Angels”

SonOfSpam

Don’t make fun of our stuttering issue.

Horatio Cornblower

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WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

Absolutely the best episode of that show.

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

Hey, yeah right – how close to this Nazare are y’all gonna be in Portugal? Starting season 2 of “100 Foot Wave” tonight.

/the new girl character (a Portuguese surfer) is also quite stalk-worthy

litre_cola

Even I the foremost Hippo-ese speake have no idea what is going on here.

King Hippo

Is HBO series on Big Wave surfing. Nazare, Portugal is their base of operations.

Pretty sure the focus group said “add another really hot lady for this Hippo guy”

Horatio Cornblower

World record was set there a couple of years back, at least as far as I know. I believe some German guy got a wave 86′ tall.

So, yeah, spoiler alert on that 100′ Wave show.

I did recently blow through both seasons. Everyone surfing at Nazare is out of their goddamn minds, and it’s some of the most compelling and fantastic footage you’ll see.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have to imagine that drone photography has completely changed the game as far as filming big-wave surfing is concerned.

Horatio Cornblower

They actually do a fair amount on what goes on in photographing the action, and drones do play a huge role in it, especially when the waves are as big as they are at Navare.

yeah right

Pretty close. In fact there’s a day trip but locals say they ain’t no surf until hurricane season. Seems like a fella could have a few drinks and save a couple of Euros instead.

Is about 75 miles and there ain’t no freeways.

Game Time Decision

It fucking poured rain this morning, then there were funnel cloud warmings in the afternoon and now its humid. All rain is going to make the grass grow but not sure its going to be dry enough to cut it tomorrow

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Just dump a bunch of sand on it, then two fifty-gallon drums of kerosene, then set it on fire, and you should be all set.” – FedEx Field groundskeepers

litre_cola

I know there are many Oasis/Gallagher haters here. Pre footy we tailgated some Mancs. It was an Oasis gallaher fest and their catalogue is very impressive.

They are the biggest knobs but damn they were good.

Note. Noel’s band is better than Liams

litre_cola

As time goes on and they STILL create good music separately they will be legendary when we die.

/also I would pay waaaayyy too much money to see them live.

Last edited 10 months ago by litre_cola
King Hippo

Wait, people actually HATE Oasis? My ex-wife always got pissed off when I compared them to The Beatles, but I mostly just did that to piss her off.

(also, The Beatles are sooooooooo overrated)

//ok, the White Album was very good

litre_cola

I want to say Spam, but I will get roasted to fuck if wrong.

SonOfSpam

Hey.

Shut up Canuck.

BOOM ROASTED.

(I like Oasis just fine and wish the two idiots would make up)

Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

Live look at the dirt ball situation!

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Last edited 10 months ago by Mr. Ayo
litre_cola

¿Dondé es el Gigantés?

Mr. Ayo

In the other league

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King Hippo

ahem, since YEW are not a #BFIB supporter, it’s a SLUR 4 u 2 say it. Best start using “#BFIB no ofence” at least

Mr. Ayo

Sorreh!

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Brick Meathook

The Chavez Ravine Racist Land-Grabbers

Horatio Cornblower

Tough, but fair.

yeah right

So you read Stealing Home too?

Great read.

King Hippo

sew very very jelly smh

litre_cola

El Gigantes.
/BY GOD THATS DON T”s MUSIC!

Senor Weaselo

Judge update: Still dead from his Kool-Aid Man impersonation.

yeah right

It really has been lovely today. The walk on the harbor was fantastic, music bumping. The house smells insane right now with a future Sunday Gravy post simmering and I’m watching the Freo Dockers against Essendon and its going nicely.

The state of Pedro is strong!

Last edited 10 months ago by yeah right
Brick Meathook

This Russia stuff is boring. Needs more submarines.

Mr. Ayo

Well there was an averted implosion.

scotchnaut

To be honest, underground submarines with screwtop noses are boring.

Brick Meathook

underground submarines is a Canadian emo band

scotchnaut

Disinformation Update:

I promised my wife that I would mow the grass tomorrow.

yeah right

And making more by the minute.

Horatio Cornblower

Sounds like your son will be getting a wake up call at 3:30 instead of 4:30.

Doktor Zymm

As for Russia, it’s pretty clear that while we don’t really know what’s happening, there was (and maybe still is) a larger than usual chance of Putin and/or some neonazis dying and that’s a Very Good Thing

King Hippo

Given that I hate Daddy Vladdy and this Prizogyn weirdo pretty much equally, I say just let ’em fight. Send steel cages and PCP.

Failing that, I root for whatever upsets the tankies the most.

Doktor Zymm

It’s always a good plan to root for upseting tankies

Horatio Cornblower

I just hope both teams have fun.

And that they don’t get their hands on any of the thousands of nukes that are laying around.

litre_cola

What about the AT&T broad?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

She was actually invited to the birthday party I went to today (she was in an improv group long ago with the host) but didn’t turn up. Neither did Autumn Reeser. Worst party ever.

Doktor Zymm

That lady in the picture is about to get a serious eye injury as that guy is nawt opening that champagne safely

Also, Madrid is a fantastic city and we need some Spainish style cervecerías in the US

Doktor Zymm

People here would also probably ruin it by complaining that the free, delicious tapas you get with your affordably priced beer aren’t vegan

King Hippo

I’m no fan of the Golden Shower Cup, but hopefully newly-minted Jamaican Toffee Demarai Gray* tears Murrika open a new arsehole.

*SPOILER – he won’t

yeah right

This is hilarious.

After all of the fallout with the Bud Light transgender endorsement and the fallout from the fascist right look how they branded their flagship beer.

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There’s only one song that fits this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzNIDW_tHRk

BeefReeferLives

…and here I thought Bud Light was for people who drank shit beer.

#upforwhatever

Horatio Cornblower

Honestly I’dve bought a shit ton of Bud Light to do my part to put those transphobic assholes in their place, but the problem is that Bud Light is really pretty terrible.

BeefReeferLives

So it’s Bud Light for the trans folks, and regular Budweiser for the leather daddies.

Good to have that all sorted out then.

yeah right

This guy gets it.