Better Know a WWC Participant – Argentina!

It takes some digging to come up with some real insight on second-tier women’s national futbol sides.  But alas, we only conscripted 2pack for the one preview.  Unless the Clubhouse LOUDLY demands MOAR!!

In the meantime, Hippo takes one ass cheek into the Argentine wilds.  It seems familiar territory, as (i) Bernard Gilkey has an asston of Argentine players on his 2200-01 Pretend City of Men side; and (ii) holy cats, do I ever LOVE athletic, slender South American women (ESPECIALLY ones who would never so much as make eye contact with a lowlife like me).

28th in the FIFA rankings…ain’t a great spot, in terms of WWC ambitions.  But, they get 2pack’s crew first, and that matchup probably decides 2nd place in the group (and advancement to the knockout stages).

Speaking of knockout…keep an eye out for #13, midfielder Sophia Braun.  First of all…classic “Boys of Brasil” name!  NEVAR forget, the rat line filled up Argentina, too.  Second of all, she played at Gonzaga!  Since she’s NAWT John Stockton, you know she’s kewl.  Thirdly…see the pic above.  Huzzah!

I mean, she’s worth getting up in the middle of the night for, yeah?  Anyway, they get Italy on 24 July (2:00a, EST), South Afrika on 27 July (8:00p??  That can’t be right, Google), and finally what they hope to be Sweden’s walk-ons on 2 August (3:00a).

I want to see them advance, and not just as a pervert.  I think South American women’s futbol could use a little boost, and will see if La Albiceleste can provide it.  But they need a better nickname, and I open up the floor to suggestions below.

Bonus! From teh Unabomber Shack!!

As I mentioned many Pretend Years ago, Bernard Gilkey managed an “Invincible” season with his Cityzens.  But now, Hippo brings to y’all…a feat much MOAR amazing.  Behold, the Very Vincible Villans of the Pretend Year of Our LORD 2200.  They finished on 4 points.  Not 4 wins, mind.  FOUR GODDAMNED POINTS, all from Draws.  0-34-4, in American parlance.  They also managed a triple digit Goal Differential (which I have NEVAR been able to manage in the positive sphere), at -102.

This is so mind-boggling that it requires photographic evidence.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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scotchnaut

“Hardly anyone almost kinda took steroids on a semi-never regular basis but it wasn’t serious. Seriously.”

-Nitro, Gemini, Laser and Barry Bonds

yeah right

Now we’re grilling! All the bros are here and eldest right and the Wahini are here. Chicken cooking, slapping some burgers together.

We’re gonna throw down, Jack!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Excellent choice, Monterey Jack is never a bad cheese to throw down onto a burger.

yeah right

The star of the burger was the grilled pineapple. I don’t think I’ll ever have another home grilled burger without it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Aw, cheeseburgers with grilled pineapple take me back to The Night I Won the Super Bowl. I assume teriyaki was included in said burger?

yeah right

Oh yeah. We tried to duplicate the Big Kahuna burger from earlier this year but charcoal grilled instead of cast iron grilled. Awesome stuff.

yeah right

It’s been documented for a future Sunday Gravy.

Sharkbait

Jonathan quick signs with the ice giants. If you can’t beat them, sign them as a backup to play 15 games 10 years later.

Last edited 1 year ago by Sharkbait
scotchnaut

Not the first GM that went the, “That guy that killed us when he was in his prime? He’s left an indelible mark on us and I’m going to sign him so that he recaptures the magic/never hurts us again” route.

/your *citation needed* is Favre signing with the Vikes

yeah right

Addition by subtraction.

scotchnaut

You need to do a post about that.

WCS

It’s cruel and unusual to trigger PTSD.

scotchnaut

“He’s gotta pull up his socks Truck Nutz and be a man!”

-Jordan Peterson, trying yet another grift

yeah right

I’m not sure I can speak of “He who shall not be named.”

Senor Weaselo

As I posted in other places… EMOTIONAL DAMAGE.

Sharkbait

Exactly.

scotchnaut

I’m watching Muscles and Mayhem, that doc about American Gladiators and I’m thinking, ‘Huh, Todd Christensen, he was all over the place in media at the time, whatever happened to him”?

/oof, he passed away 10 years ago

Sharkbait

That doc was depressing.

scotchnaut

I found it cynical above all else. Rich white dudes churning out “product” and the male stars of the show having as much sexfucking as possible. At the time it may have been seen as an even trade.

Male Warriors: “Ok, we destroy our bodies but we get tons of sex from randos and a better cheque than what we’d get from working at McDonalds?”

Producer: [points at accumulated warriors with pistol fingers and makes clicking sound with mouth]

Male Warriors: “Done!”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Name five male members of DFO who would have turned their noses up at that offer while they were in their twenties. You can’t!

scotchnaut

Wife has left for two weeks-my priorities are

  1. Make sure the boys don’t die while she’s gone.
  2. Make sure the house doesn’t burn down while she’s gone.
  3. Have an enormous seafood gangbang (she’s got the deathly allergies)
  4. You know that “Dad/Thermostat” trope? She’s a huge “Don’t use the air-conditioning!” gal I will be abusing said air conditioning.
  5. I don’t know, maybe mow the lawn?
Gumbygirl

Don’t forget the panicked whole house cleaning the day before she comes home. Gumby always forgets that part. He shouldn’t.

scotchnaut

And I’m sure he’s seen his share of 80’s teen comedies. That part didn’t take, I guess.*

*hopefully the ‘spying on girls while they’re naked’ didn’t as well

Gumbygirl

See, that’s what really pisses me off. When we had parties at his house when we were teenagers, I always helped him clean the house after so his parents wouldn’t know. Other than the neighbors telling them, but hey, at least the house was clean! Now I come home to a sty when I go away. He was more scared of his mom than me, I guess. That’s such a mistake, I’m sooooo much meaner!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, his parents knew. Having the house not be a complete shitheap when they returned home was a dead giveaway.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think we all wished for a sexbot who looked like Kelly LeBrock and also could use her magic powers to restore your party-destroyed house to its pristine original condition.

Sharkbait

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Fr though good job taking advantage of the seafood opportunity.

Doktor Zymm

Just the waitresses at Red Lobster

yeah right

Or the weed girl.

Travel safe tWBS.

scotchnaut

Wifey has done the tired, “Would you end up with someone else if I died?” convo several times. I’ve countered with, “Do I look like a guy, at my age, that would put a bunch of time and energy-neither of which I have-into wooing someone, anyone else?

Gumbygirl

I am looking forward to the peace and quiet. He needs to hope I don’t get my solitude early, if ya know what I’m saying!

scotchnaut

Gumbygirl needs to do a post about her favourite stress-releasing objects, if ya know what I’m saying.

ballsofsteelandfury

That vibration coming from the Palm Springs area is NOT the San Andreas….

yeah right

At the risk of going to hell again… I’m so happy I’m single and no responsibilities.

Horatio Cornblower

Mrs. Scotchnaut’s view on returning home:

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Last edited 1 year ago by Horatio Cornblower
scotchnaut

[Is incredibly pissed that he didn’t post this first]

-Some dumb-ass royal-adjacent commenter

Gumbygirl

I travelled to my sister’s wedding years ago, and when I got back home, Gumby had cleaned the house, but all of my chairs from my kitchen table were broken, because he and his asshole squid buddies had been “Superpro Wrestling.”

WCS
ballsofsteelandfury

I’m honestly shocked a death hasn’t been announced yet.

scotchnaut

“Seriously!”

-A sidewalk directly underneath a 24th floor hotel window in Moscow

Horatio Cornblower

The Yankees at the #BFIB. What will be the greater threat to the Midwest, the heat dome moving up from Texas, or the cloud of smug emanating from the ballpark?

Senor Weaselo

Looks like Rikki, Clint Greasewood, and I are getting started on this year’s kidnapp—I mean, recruitment drive, early this year.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hello Reddit users!

Sharkbait

Our API is free!!

…we have an API right?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If by that you mean “APE” and by that you mean “Moosemas Ape”, then YES!

Last edited 1 year ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Gumbygirl

Oh gawd, where did Beastmode and Moose go? ! ? ‽ ?¿ Somebody go fetch them!

2Pack

Our ladies taking on Morroco in a friendly in 10 minutes. Go Belle!

manuela_giugliano.jpg
2Pack

Good turn out in Ferrara

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2Pack

Ends in a thrilling nil-nil draw.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Do you think bands open up concerts in Marrakesh by announcing they’re about to put the ROCK back in Morocco?

2Pack

I hope so, that or Rockin the Kasbah

Last edited 1 year ago by 2Pack
Game Time Decision

Happy Canada day to my favourite buncha degens

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/has no selfie game

ballsofsteelandfury

Okay, they were NOT kidding when they said you’re a tall drink of water.

Fucking lamp level, boys!

Game Time Decision

Ya, I’m between 6’4″ and 6’5″. And as seen, I have the same skin coloUr of water, aka pale AF

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, *why* did I challenge this guy to trial by combat over a silly time slot dispute? Why?!?!

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m sure Don T and I can come up with some good nicknames for the Argie squad. First up:

Las Creídas

Senor Weaselo

There’s gotta be a Falklands joke somewhere, right?

Doktor Zymm

So based on the internet I think my knee thing is patellar somethingorother aka ‘runners knee’. I ordered a knee strap since that’s recommended instead of the normal sort of knee brace, and today I tried taping my knee. Not sue if it’s helping, mostly just feels like I have a bunch of tape on the skin around my knee

2Pack

I screwed up my knee on a jump about 35 years ago. As rehab I used a strap for about 6-7 years and had such good results that I no longer needed it. From time to time since then, like after a marathon or longer distance runs my knee will talk to me. I’ll wear the strap for a couple weeks and it’s back to normal. I put on about 25-30 miles a week so while not intense, for an old fart like me that is a lot. To make a long story longer… I believe that the strap is a good option to start out with. I hope your results are as good as mine have been.

Doktor Zymm

Fingers crossed! I think I triggered it by a combination of banging it on the ground by accident and too much ladder climbing, so hopefully it’ll respond similarly

yeah right

Patella femoral syndrome. It’s also really fun when you get the partial dislocations.

My right knee has been talking for a couple of weeks now. Mostly in the language of clicks and pops.

Game Time Decision

Nothing like sounding like a glow stick being activated when going up and down stairs

2Pack

When I smacked the shit out of mine, landing on a runway, the kneecap was loose. Doc said the kneecap holds the cartilage in place, and loose cartilage = bone friction = pain. So the strap simply holds the cap in place so it can do the rest.

Dunstan

I’ve been having this weird thing lately where, for a day or two after I play tennis, my left foot is really stiff and sore whenever I get up from sitting or lying down. Once I walk for a bit it loosens up again. Hiking doesn’t bother it. I’m hoping it’s something as simple as needing a better pair of shoes.

Game Time Decision

Cannot recommend to get new shoes when thing start to hurt, enough.

Dunstan

Yeah, worth a shot. I mean, obviously tennis is a different activity and so it could just be the stress of stopping, starting, pushing off that foot. But it occurs to me that the shoes I’ve been wearing for tennis are ones I don’t use for anything else.

2Pack

I had mine scanned and have special inserts for my running shoes. I have high arches which were falling a bit and causing pain. So my physical therapy PA recommended a place that had the computer foot mapping set up. Huge difference. Worth every penny of the couple hundred bucks it cost me.

Doktor Zymm

Could be you need more arch support, or maybe a wider shoe. When I was playing tennis a lot I eventually got shoes that were tennis specific and they made a surprisingly big difference.

Doktor Zymm

I already stretch and strengthen the surrounding muscles, so I’m not super worried about it. I’m mostly just annoyed that it keeps almost getting better but then not, probably because I’m crap at resting it

Gumbygirl

Did you go riding today?

Doktor Zymm

Of course! It was the first really hot day at the farm and I’m all droopy now since I’m not heat acclimated, lol

Senor Weaselo

I feel like they should get sent to League One for that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Even worse: the NFC South.

2Pack

Good hustle here Hippo. And what a nice lady, I look forward to the match.

One of my shops just went Litre level distro on the home grown vino. I’ll let him comment on if this is a good thing.

2Pack

With the attachment this time.

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2Pack

I bet you guys though I was going to post a Marika pic…

35Ezm4wMf6rYZ6TQ.jpg
blaxabbath

I gotta get the boy to sleep later.

yeah right

That will kick in right about the time he’s 15.

Then you won’t be able to wake him up before 11.

Game Time Decision

Can confirm

Brick Meathook

PRO TIP: Take the boy down to the animal shelter and pick out a nice deserving dog. Take dog home, leave boy at shelter.

Senor Weaselo
Gumbygirl

You always have the best/worst ideas. Berst ideas!