As of this dodgy writing the game is still on, Hurricane Hilary not being quite as hawkish as her other namesake. Congrats to ladies that kick the ball for Spain-that was a half-decent game and though I didn’t want the Dirty Colonizers to win, the English goalkeeper is worthy of anyone’s respect.
Tidbits:
-Great news on the Isaiah Bolden front. He left hospital this morning and was to be flying home with the team, with only a ‘mere’ concussion to accompany him.
-Texans coaching staff was happy with Stroud’s outing yesterday. He was 7-12 for 60 with no TD’s, INT’s or sacks. The rest of the team made the Fins look like a juggernaut however. But so goes the evaluation process for a team on the rebuild.
-K.C. did what K.C. does and the result was a 38-10 thrashing of the Cards. Those fantasy dudes that were hoping that rook wr Rashee Rice would shine are strutting around today. First-year wideouts tend not to excel in Reid’s system but maybe this kid is the outlier.
-My first takeawayfrom perusing the Denver/S.F. boxscore was, “Hey, Ben ‘The Nootch’ Dinucci is still employed!” Some football squawkers were noodling with the notion that Trey Lance could be traded but common sense and his own play probably mean that ship has sailed.
To The Game!
Saints/Chargers:
-Keep your eyes on the Saints rookie wr A.T. Perry-he had 70 yards and a TD last week and given Thomas’ and Shaheen’s injury woes, he might have some value.
-Let’s hear it for Canuck product Josh Palmer. He balled at a Brampton high school and eventually made his way to Tennessee-despite never catching more than 484 yards he was drafted in the third round by the Chargers, whose coaching staff fell in love with him during Senior Bowl week. He’s a nice bye-week fill-in or a temporary play when Mike Williams inevitably goes down.
-Are you stuck in an antiquated league that still has a S.T./Defense slot? Do yourself a favor and grab New Orleans-they don’t play a half-decent offense until week 10 vs the Vikes.
Be like Red Lorry Yellow Lorry and talk about the weather.
I forgot how much a newborn needs to eat in the middle of the night. Less than ideal.
At least you’re not the one with boobs.
Accurate
Technically, you’re not the one that can produce milk out of the nipples
As far as natural disasters go, give me a hurricane over a tornado anyday. At least hurricanes give you advanced warning
Gumbygirl! You out there? You and Gumby okay?
She nailed the Edmonton pick. Well done.
Was I the only one? I just needed to try and claw back a point, and I thought this game was probably one of the only shots they had. It’s really hard for a team to go a whole season without winning, eventually their opponents get complacent and trip over their own peepees!
Yep, only one to get it. Makes sense now after their good showing against Winnipeg but a ballsy – no, a gumby – pick.
What really sucks is that I thought I went back and changed my Ottawa pick to Montreal. I thought about it, but then I probably got high and forgot to do it. Oh well, c’est la guerre!
I had Ottawa and switched to Montreal. Thought I blew it when it was 14-3 but then they came back. Good game there. Just bummed BC lost.
That one surprised me.
I am here, we are fine! No water in the house, mostly just some wind now, but not even crazy wind. There’s some flooding in Palm Springs and Cat City, but we sit up higher.
Yay!
Ciao tutti. No earthquakes or scary storms here last night. Hitting the vaca road. Gonna make plenty of rest stops.
Can you get the massage without the Wife? Or the Brick?
Does the Brick have waxed balls?
Smooth as butter
One wonders. Cold coffee is a thing on these dawg hawt daze-o-summer over here. But I’ve not had a coffee brick yet.
I wonder what country on our planet hosts suck finely translated services?
I certainly hope so
Wife and I were sitting around late last night, and I talked her into watching “Knock At the Cabin,” M. Night. Shamalamadingdong’s latest. It kind of sucked, but I’ve seen worse from him. She said afterwards, “That was bad. Thanks for the suggestion.” The really sad part was that we should have watched “Cocaine Bear” instead.
My plus one is for M. Night Shamalamadingdong.
That’s what I call him too.
Me too! This storm is boring now. Just some wind, and that’s not even slightly unusual here in DHS. We had some pretty good rain though, while it lasted. There’s quite a bit of flooding on the other side of the interstate, it pays to live on the high side of the street!
Good to hear!
The Weather Channel is trying desperately to make something out of pretty much nothing, from what I can tell.
(the high side of the street has nothing to do with elevation)
.
STARRY MATT FOLEY NIGHT IS INCREDIBLE
It’s cool, isn’t it?
I’m watching some of ‘Winning Time’ on HBO. A lot of people on social media seem upset that HBO hasn’t committed to a third season. The answer seems pretty simple:
It’s an absolutely terrible show.
I thoroughly enjoyed the first season
I usually like John C. Reilly and got through the first season waiting for things to improve. For me they never did, and based on the 10 minutes I just stumbled on they didn’t change much for S2.
I’m a street south of an evacuation alert and the air is thick. Smells like there was a tire fire at the neighbouring elementary school.
Short story – we should ban wildfires.
Don’t worry, we have water coming your way!
How does the internet work.
Allow me to suggest a new prize for DFO contests:
https://twitter.com/RebeccaRHelm/status/1354969737881661440
I’m pretty sure I’ve seen those clone chains while diving!
I found half a coyote jaw on the beach last week. Most of the teeth were still attached. It was pretty weird.
I believe they prefer the term “human trafficker,” Rikki.
That would be considerably less sad.
Love the “little feature” wording:
“Now we’ve noticed a little feature off the coastal waters that looks like it’s going to keep enhancing precipitation into that area into the early morning,” Thompson said. “It’s going to continue to exacerbate any flooding.”
I have no idea if this is real, but she does seem very healthy.
https://twitter.com/bigtitstrades/status/1656699894353084424
Doesn’t seem to exist
The link takes me right to it.
Anyway, it’s a Japanese woman with large breasts who is allegedly the Minister of Health.
Maybe Bill Parcells hacked your computer?
“Large breasts”?
you mean “big tits” it sounds funnier
comedy writing 101 rule
I’m going highbrow.
It’ll make sense* tomorrow.
*no it won’t
I’m sure she’s got a position suitable for her two tremendous talents, but it ain’t Japan’s Minister of Health.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minister_of_Health,_Labour,_and_Welfare
Oh internet.
Never change.
The Honorable Mimi Miyagi?
Or Hitomi Tanaka?
I’m not up on the latest Asian Adult Film Starts…
No, but keep guessing.
I think I might have to get my brother this T-shirt for his 60th birthday.
That’s impressive.
My sister-in-law would love it! And by ‘love it’ I mean ‘infuriated by it.’
Fake
Likely in more ways than one.
No, I mean literally. She’s an AI render. Not a real person.
The wind and severity of rain has stepped up a notch in my area. Not to dangerous levels yet, but definitely much higher than before.
Yep, a little more windy here too. No more than 15-20 at this point.
This is all for Brick’s benefit as he is missing out.
I’m holding down the fort back east
Good man!
Finish him!
I survived the 2011 East Virginia earthquake!
Virginia Beach?
Charlottesville, five years before it was invaded by Nazi swine.
Never followed up, did you get replaced?
I’d make fun of you people for having to deal with a little wind and rain, but if the Earth ever started moving, (literally, as opposed to metaphorically), here in CT I would undoubtedly fall to my knees and weep like a child, so I’m not going to.
It’s definitely interesting. You don’t forget the big ones.
Same with getting pegged.
/uncontrollable sobbing
-D. Favre
Yeah, shit like the Sylmar and Northridge quakes, well you should fall on your knees And cover your head but this one today we think of it like a little release that keeps you from shitting your pants.
Welcome to SoCal.
Nice steady downpour of rain. This is actually fucking perfect.
The earthquake in the middle of all this shit was epic.
I’ll laugh about that shit from here on out.
Yup. We’ve been lucky. All the bad shit was to the east of us.
I hope the Gumbys are ok.
Yeah, so far it’s just some “we needed this” rain.
Well someone must’ve prayed for relief from the wildfires.
Lieutenant Dan’s Job-like Response to God’s Misfortunes – YouTube
Casa Gumby, artist’s concept:
This may be the Conservative in me talking, but perhaps God is simply going Old Testament on the Southwest.
Eh if God was doing that, Florida wouldn’t still be around.
Maybe He needs to work up before he takes on that Hellscape.
Or maybe he needs to stock up on turquoise belt buckles
Don’t kink-shame me like teh Hippo!
Let’s see…hurricanes hit pretty much all red states.
Tornadoes hit pretty much all red states.
The dust bowl was all red states.
Shitty weather in general? Yep, red states.
We get a moderate rainstorm and a no-death earthquake, and God hates us.
thoughts and prayers
Who do I send the paper towels to?
Hey, I said it was “the Conservative in me talking”. That makes me an entitled piece of shit who is holier than thou and judgment about everyone except me.
Oh ok, sourry.
Typical Californian has no idea where shitty weather actually hits, smgh
Guilty. I assume everything outside of California is a desiccated hellscape.
It’s not?
Out there, isn’t it earthquakes and half the state catching on fire?
NY Times is reporting an earthquake near L.A.
Why am I missing all this?
Did you read DFO? We reported it as it was happening!
All the news that’s fit to not wear pants
Here? Or on Slack? I don’t see anything here. Am I missing something?
https://doorfliesopen.com/2023/08/20/sunday-gravy-with-yeah-right-porcini-ragu-simple-and-sensational/#comment-1074217
Here. Previous post.
I just read a few earthquake posts in Sunday Gravy. Who’s news director here? Let’s get this stuff on the front page, folks. And more photos of airplanes.
Look not all of the readers are incels.
For the last time, I respect women enough to stay away from them!
40 year old virgin?
Haven’t seen the movie. Either I saw the line while channel surfing or its an amazing coincidence.
You should correct that, it’s funny as hell.
(to liberals, hell is funny)
That should be a Mock Draft idea, movies that everyone has seen but you haven’t.
Unless its already been done.
That’s a great idea!
It’s been done.
And I still haven’t gotten around to ‘Midnight Express’
As Turkish prison rape movies go, it’s not very sexy.
Sand bags
Wet bags of sand.
I think Sill used to be the news director.
Lockheed L-188 Electra II
You can’t fool me, that’s a P-3 Orion in fancy colors!
Constellation or GTFO.
The women’s world cup final just goes to show how much farther the women’s game needs to go. I mean England lost a final in full time, not penalties like the men always do.
And they have a distinct lack of wogs playing for them, which makes it a lot harder to do a racism.
When I was doing this intro I looked for news about Jalen Guyton. Why? Because he was a one-time bye week fill-in two years ago and he scored a TD for me. Yeah, I’m pathetic.
Sharkette cave home from my sister in laws where she’d been staying since we had her brother. Things are going ok for now. Should be an interesting couple of days ahead
It is good to hear that she is not headed towards Southern California because I had assumed that the next plague would involve sharks somehow. Hopefully it just ends up being some variation on good old-fashioned locusts.
Did you know our local squirrels have The Plague?
That, sadly, is not a joke.
And not the special demotivational plague, either.
She lives in a cave?
We can’t all live like Custodes, ya know?
The edit button timed out by the time I noticed.
I have to say that it’s really fucking sad that the best coverage I’ve seen of this storm is from the New York Fucking Times.
I may have to subscribe.
Has the local news told Californians to stay inside and not shoot at the storm?
We’ve had numerous press conferences featuring the mayor, the governor, school district guys, fire department guys, and a couple of homeless lesbians. They’re trying to bore the storm to death.
I know! I’ve been following it on the NYT, but I hope I get up-to-the-minute updates here.
Anaheim: raining kinda.
Let me know how frequently you need updates.
When something happens. Thanks!
The Dr. Mrs. is mopping under the couch, which should help clear up all the dust and crud that has accumulated since the last time she mopped under the couch, aka yesterday.
How soon before you have to replace all your flooring in Villa R-T-D?
If a player wanted to wear a Guardian Cap during a game, the league would prohibit it (msn.com)
NFL: “Safety of our players is the NFL’s Number One Priority.”
Player: “Can we wear a Guardian Cap for extra protection?”
NFL: “Shush! Field hands don’t talk.”
I honestly thought this was about wearing a Cleveland baseball hat.
Me too. “I don’t get it.”
Heh heh. I also wanted the Dirty Colonizers to lose. Spain still won, oh well. Good win tho. Shout out to Tolerance. I can’t believe I evar wanted you out of me lyf.
My bad-I thought that England was by far the best Dirty Colonizer.
The Germans and the Belgians were the dirty colonizers.
Where is Cecil when you need him?
🤣
England was a great team. Would watch them again easily.
I feel like a “Dirty Colonizer” is a gin-based drink. Sharky, can I get an official ruling?
Either that or a potent constipation medication.
Time to see is SoFi was built on a floodplain.
I’m assuming they are playing in New Orleans to avoid the hurricane in SoCal?
I never thought I’d type those words in that order…
Like the chyron says, NO, LAC