Good morning Ballers!
How is your team’s pre-season going?
It’s week two and we may get up to a full half of some teams starters, so that’s kind of a real goddamn thing.
I’ve got that regular season jonesing going on, I can tell you that. We’re close now. Real close.
On a local note, Southern California has this in effect today.
What is that you may be wondering?
It’s a goddamn hurricane warning! For Southern California!!!
FOR TODAY!
A FUCKING HURRICANE!
How do the climate deniers respond to this fucking shit! We’ve never FUCKING NEVER had one of these in effect. EVER! There was a tropical storm that hit LA back in 1939 but this fucker could be full strength on impact.
Yes, the ocean is warmer than it should be out here. That’s why we never get hurricanes because the water is too goddamn cold. If you’ve ever swam in the Pacific out here I’m sure you and your testicles can remember that.
Lovely!
I’ll keep you updated throughout the day.
Son of a bitch!
To the food.
You regular readers know of my affinity for mushrooms and boy howdy do we have a dazzler for you today.
Ever fuck around with porcini mushrooms? They have this deep, earthy, woodsy type action going on that is pretty unique to the varietal.
I’ll let Thespruceeats.com break it down for you:
“Porcini mushrooms, sold both fresh and dried, are prized in Italian and French cuisine. These popular mushrooms (also known as king bolete or cèpe in French) are cultivated in Europe, North America, and parts of Asia, and grow naturally in pine forests at the base of trees. Autumn is porcini season in central Europe, with much of the carefully picked harvest dried for later consumption or export. Fresh porcini are beloved by gourmet chefs and can be sautéed and eaten as a side dish or added to risottos and pasta, while the dried mushrooms add rich flavor to broths and stews.”
In fact today will be the first of two installments where the featured ingredient will be the porcini mushroom. The 2nd part will run next week.
Our dish today is incredibly simple but it yields the most insane results in spite of its simplicity. This meal indeed embraces the core Italian food concept of simple ingredients, simple prep, fantastic outcome.
Let’s do this!
Porcini Mushroom Ragu!
recipe courtesy of ABeuatifulplate.com.
“1 ounce dried porcini mushrooms
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
1 large onion diced
1 small carrot peeled and finely grated
2-3 tablespoons finely chopped thyme leaves
4 garlic cloves thinly sliced
½ cup dry red wine
1 (28-ounce) can crushed Italian tomatoes
kosher salt
freshly ground black pepper
1 lb dried pasta
finely grated parmigiano-reggiano cheese for serving”
Well fuck. This is vegetarian again, isn’t it? I swear to God man, that was not my intention. Just grate on some extra parmigiano-reggiano and you’ll be fine.
This menu starts simply enough. Procure some of these.
Amazon carries them of course. This container holds 3 ounces.
I have so many questions about the company name, “Vigorous Mountains.” I’ll go ahead and leave the salacious commentary to the comments section.
I’m getting “genteel” in my old-ass days.
Let’s take a closer look at the mushrooms.
Them some dry motherfuckers right there. Drier than a prairie dog fart they are.
That’s one ounce of mushrooms but as you’ll see in a bit, what looks like a small portion will change dramatically once they are brought back from the dead.
Serious mushroom re-hydration is required.
Boil some water and pour just enough water to cover the mushrooms.
Let these steep for about half an hour.
While the mushrooms return to a viable and edible state get after that onion. A proper dicing here will work.
After the 30 minutes of soaking have elapsed let’s get a look at the mushrooms.
Look at that broth. Oh we gonna use that shit.
Pour the olive oil into a pot and start sautéing the onion. Let them sweat down for a good 10 minutes or so.
During those 10 minutes, mince up the fresh thyme.
That is indeed a goodly amount of thyme. Fresh thyme please. It has more floral notes than its dried cousin. It is however a pain in the ass to mince up. There are a lot of little sticks up in there.
Now we get to work on the garlic.
Well shit, as long as you’ve got that knife in your hands, hack up them ‘shrooms!
Look at that yield from 1 ounce of dried mushrooms. That’s good value! These are real meaty looking buggers and I can already smell that woodsy aroma. This dish is going to rule so damn hard!
Now the fun part, we’re going to peel and finely grate the carrot.
Not sure why but that’s a pretty goddamn dazzling picture. Think it’s the contrast between the carrot and the blue plate. Looks kind of like a firework display.
Sexy!
The onion should be nice and cooked down now, so go ahead and toss in the carrot and thyme.
Stir to combine.
Since this dish requires using red wine let me show you what is currently my favorite drinking wine.
Talbott Kali Hart pinot noir. This stuff is just fucking special. It’s also at a pretty decent price point, especially for the product. Love, love, love this stuff. It’s firmly ensconced in my Saturday night pinot noir rotation. It’s robust without being too dry, sweet without being cloying and it has a real clean finish. Doesn’t taste like blood is what I’m getting at.
Yes, we will use this as the red wine in our ragu.
Oh look! We have tomatoes too!
Not as sexy and not exactly Italian tomatoes.. Fuck it let’s move on.
Deglaze the pan with the vino. Time to get the garlic in there too, then finally add in the tomatoes.
In go the mushrooms, the juice from the soaking process along with some salt and pepper, then over a low simmer let cook down, slightly covered, for 45-50 minutes while stirring occasionally.
That’s it!
Near the end of the simmering session it’s time to cook your pasta.
Yes, store bought this time. It’s getting late in the season man! After this many months of serious kitchen time, also factoring in the fact that I do my walk on the weekends, My ass is starting to get really fatigued.
Store bought is fine.
Please note; the original recipe called for Bucatini but after checking two stores with zero success it became “Well fuck it, I’ll use linguine instead” time.
How’s about we toss together a quick salad while we’re at it. Yep, the usual.
Spinach salad with red onion, almonds, strawberries and a balsamic vinaigrette.
Tried a new trick for the garlic bread today. We rehydrated some dried onion to put on the bread along with the garlic.
What the hell. Had ’em and gave it a try. That’s what kitchen experimentation is all about!
Make yourself a plate! I’m getting hungry over here!
Before you even start, I know I need new wine glasses. Every damn time I get new wine glasses the fuckers break while I’m washing them. Guess I’m not known for my subtle grip dexterity.
This dish though?
Flawless execution.
Simple, bright, acidic, complex, hearty, healthy and oh holy shit those mushrooms.
The mushrooms almost have a, I kind of want to say unsweetened chocolate type thing going. You see the bright redness from the tomatoes visually but oh no. This fucker is a PORCINI dish. Period.
The pasta was cooked nice and al dente the spinach salad is always delicious with the homemade balsamic vinaigrette and the little bit of rehydrated onion on the garlic bread was actually a cool new taste on there. Interesting.
You will want a nice glass of red to pair with this baby. Of course I finished the remains of that Pinot pictured tp there.
Serve this shit to royalty. Serve it to impress the family. Make it on date night. The flavor completely belies the ease of making.
Go ahead and show off a bit in the kitchen. NOBODY will complain after they taste this.
And that’s all I got for the day.
Remember part 2 of our porcini experimentation is next week and I’ll show you a little versatility to this humble mushroom. It’s damn good too.
Hope to see you back here next week.
Do enjoy the rest of your Sunday and your preseason week 2 game day experience.
I may or not be hunkered down but I’ve got supplies on hand just in case.
This should be an interesting day.
PEACE!
The next thread is up.
Is there a “Flying Sharks With Chainsaws For Mouths” warning?
Just on the Fox News channel? Weird.
Fucking hell, the wind just really picked up.
Is that all you got!?!??
Who’s ready for HURRIQUAKE2023?
That would be a great Sci Fi channel movie. Get Tara Reid on the phone!
Tara could TOTES play a Hilary!
aka Hillary’s Wrath
I didn’t feel it. I just charged up Gumby’s external battery for his CPAP, we can charge phones off that too. We have a couple of hand crank flashlights, a maglite with batteries, and a bunch of candles. I think there’s a battery operated radio around here somewhere.
I didn’t feel it either. I think the epicenter was off the coast. Westside felt it strongest.
Ojai, I’m seeing.
“Happy, Happy, Ojai. Happy, Happy Ojai!”
-folks far from the epicenter of the quake
Congrats to Balls for winning the DFO Women’s WC pool – and the accompanying gently used Fleshlight! He came from behind to win, as per usual.
WHOOHOO!!
And congrats to you, sir, for winning the AFL pool. By a healthy margin, I might add.
“Let’s fuck with SoCal today.”
— Earth
We just had an earthquake in the middle of a hurricane.
That’s pretty goddamn special.
Everyone in SoCal just feel that earthquake? I guess this is what happens when I come back to America after a month away.
Did you feel one when you lived here?
One? There were a lot.
…and as we wait for Tropical Storm Hillary to arrive California pulls the old rope-a-dope with an EARTHQUAKE.
That was a pretty good jolt too.
Water in the fish tank was swaying pretty good.
Why are you in a fish tank?
I think it’s obvious that it was because next week’s Sunday Gravy was going to be an all-you-can-eat fish dish, and something went wrong.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqT-AvswCZo
He’s the Incredible Mr. Limpet, duh!
.
Oh, Mr. Limpet. Sorry, I thought you were talking about someone else.
Redshirt’s next therapy session is coming out of your DFO account.
5.5. Impressive.
“Yeah, that’s at least double what we get here in Mississippi.” – Deanna F.
“I can blow that and still drive into a parked car causing life threatening injuries to a child!”
B. Reid
Just got an earthquake warning!
It’s coming down harder now, but the wind isn’t bad. We get frequent high winds out here, not real worried about that. It’s the possibility of flooding that could be a problem. We got the Fema alert on our phones a few minutes ago.
Will Mr. Pickle arrive for Saints/Spanoi? Or is he hiding from teh rain??
“It’s never too late to improve! My husband used to be all thumbs, but look at him now!” – Mrs. Pierre-Paul
Left Coast Update:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsY8l0Jg3lY&ab_channel=RossPeeler
And the wind is starting to pick up.
And Leon’s getting larger!
I’m curious (thanks to the situation faced by DFOers in California today) – how many of you folks maintain some sort of survival/bug-out bag and if yes – what do you folks have in there (outside of the standard – food/water/medicine/spare clothing for 72 hours, copy of your ID and a SAK/leatherman)?
I keep my shit charged (see below), know where the flashlight and batteries are, my transistor radio (got that ahead of a hurricane that was headed Cakalaky way), etc. ANd I do keep a book and bare essentials (including some of my PILLZ) in my ever-ready red backpack (which I use as a man purse).
Should be more anal about it, but I have so few survival skills that I reckon it won’t matter anyway.
Look on the bright side, back in Bulgaria where I was first taught to have an emergency kit handy (because it is in a seismically active region, with wildfires and flooding also aplenty) that same kit would’ve probably been beyond useless as I spent most of my time in apartment blocks that’d have probably gone down at anything beyond 5 on the Richter. On the plus side, if I’d somehow survived such an event, I’d have been one of the first rescued (a perk of being on the last floor). As for survival skills, in a proper survival situation – as long as you’re relatively calm and rational, you’d be fine. That said – since people usually aren’t that in such events, a couple of flash cards with the basics (first aid/building shelter/starting fire/starting a harem) won’t hurt yer chances too much
Calm and rational, I can do. It’s my one personal strength. The issue is my complete lack of mechanical skills and fine motor ability.
Flashlight/extra batteries
Chemlights
M1911 with 2 mags, box of .45 ammo
Nice, mine has a couple of extra spare mags for my short-barrel Arsenal AK (in 5.56), plus a couple for my Glock. I didn’t think of chemlights tbh, which are a great idea I’m shamelessly gonna copy 🙂
Is your glock gold-plated, and/or diamond-studded? We are just trying to place you on the “Gangsta Cred” scale.
?! How’re those even a thing… To answer your question, though – it’s a standard fullsized Glock 22 in .40S&W, with the only “extras” being the threaded barrel (for a silencer) and the aftermarket tritium sights. Same goes for the AK – bog standard, wth threaded barrel and the factory laser/IR-laser/flashlight module.
I’m saving my pennies for a good bug-out rifle. I’ve looked at the Springfield M1A as well as the new Marlin Model 1895, and just for shits-n-giggles the CMP M1 Garand.
As long as you don’t buy that shit you call AK’s stateside (aka made from parts kits from clapped out old service-issue weapons), an AK should be perfect for a bug-out rifle. Same goes for an AR-pattern . Now, if you want to do it on the cheap – SKS are still quite affordable and still fire a relatively popular round 🙂
When we lived in LA we did. Had N95s before it was cool (for wildfires), flashlights and batteries, etc.
I’m surprised no one else has mentioned having a 2-way radio in their kit, given how cheap those fuckers have gotten of late.
Just hanging out drinking beers and running mock drafts on Yahoo today.
If I were in Emergency Management, I’d probably send out a warning based on Kent Brockman’s It’s in REVELATIONS, people! gif.
In other words, I’d get fired almost immediately.
Gumbygirl and Yeah Right,
Status updates? Things have been alright in Pasadena. Steady rain since the morning but not too crazy. No heavy winds yet.
Ok here, light rain.
Wind has picked up a little now.
It’s getting pretty fucking dark out there now.
I hope you and the gumbys remembered to charge up all mobile devices, preferably including a spare (ie an older smartphone that got stuck in that drawer when you upgraded to the newer model)?
We are good! I can charge in the car if we lose power.
The point being that you have at least one charged devices if you don’t have access to your car / the grid. Preferably one with some preloaded offline maps on it (gmaps, iMaps, etc have that capability). Especially important since modern cars don’t really handle that much water
It’s a personal pet peeve of mine – my devices are ALWAYS fully charged, or close to it. I leave the fuckers plugged in whenever possible, because you NEVER KNOW.
I’m charging up my ” brick” charger that I bought for my Portugal trip. It’s good for about 4 full charges when fully charged. Plus my phone is at 96%.
Good plan as those 96% will quickly evaporate if signal coverage gets degraded (either because of heavy rain, or worst-case – cell towers start to turn off)
Just got an emergency alert on my phone.
Level Severe!
“Flash flood warning in effect until 7:45 PM
“This is a severe and life threatening situation!”
Thanks for that.
When all of the phones did that simultaneously in the lounge, I thought we were under attack.
Stay safe out there campers
I must have this! I love love love porcini’s. About rehydrating dried onions for garlic bread- do that in melted butter, cut out the watery middleman. Mince up a little garlic in there too, and let it amalgamate and consolidate for awhile. We’re getting little bands of light rain out here, nothing heavy yet. I brought my patio cushions in, and put a couple of gallons of water in the fridge in case the water gets gross.
This one blew my mind. It had all the right elements and seemed pretty fool proof but it was perfection. So simple.
I’ve got some leftover that I froze. I’m thinking of making flatbreads with this as the sauce. Maybe some bacon, porcinis and sun dried tomatoes.
Unrelated – behold, a slightly more competent showcase (of the Bavarian night sky) on why DSLRs still have their place under the sun.. err.. stars despite the advances in cell phone cameras
Ah, I see that WordPress still doesn’t do edits for some reason. I actually wanted to post this one instead (without the intruding USAF spy plane) 😀
Good evenin folks, how’re you all this fine-arse day?
Pretty good! I got my workout done nice and early, and have parked the car in the rain to get a free car wash. I chilled some ginger beer so we can have Dark & Stormys later.
As long as you didn’t park it near a tree or building.. not a bad plan. “Ehhhh” on the ginger beer, though – I’d have gone with ouzo/mastika (both are best drunk so cold, ice crystals have formed in the bottle) instead
Slow steady rain for the last few hours. No winds but heavy overcast. Just getting rain in August is pretty fucking biblical.
On second thought that’s a pretty heavy goddamn rain.
Going out to Antonio from…my wife?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gQMxuXkqGrA&pp=ygUKV2hhdCBhIG1hbg%3D%3D
The equalizer should come any moment now. My money is on Murdyk.
With the “5 subs” rule, I really struggle with why managers don’t give a quicker hook to players on a yellow.
Especially defensive players
A working theory would be that when they have that first yellow they can get away with anything up until murder before the red will come out.
To all my SoCal brethren: Stay safe, and when stocking up on emergency supplies remember that Big Five and Walmart have good prices on ammunition.
especially on loot
So I should stay away from the windows in the airport lounge?
This sucks, I intentionally booked a longer layover so I could pop out and see people in LA, and now it’s all hunker down and stay put and don’t build an ark or whatever.
Jawja trying to JV NFL threepeat, hasn’t been done since…
MINNESOTA??
https://theathletic.com/4787218/2023/08/20/minnesota-football-three-peat-bierman-georgia/
Man, for a club that just won a major (ish) European trophy and who took an early 1-nil lead on Chelski in the home opener…that’s a morgue-calibre crowd
Awful.
Fuck yeah! 1-0 Hammers!
I must complement you, Sir – your squadron has made the perfect move in signing James Ward-Prowse. He’s much more than just a free kick merchant!
y’all was just looking for one….divine….heeeaaaadddder!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blj0n_gjovo
I’m thrilled Spain won the World Cup, and by that I mean I’m very happy England lost. Fuck those dirty limeys.
WHAT THIS GUY SAID
On another note, I see that the Cowardly Blue Lions of London have a player named Malo Gusto (bad taste) in their squadron. Very appropriate!
Greetings, fellow empire builders! I do apologize for not being present these past few weeks — the manservants and I decided to engage in an extended summer hiatus in my third manor house on the Zambezi. A truly delightful experience with no undesirables in sight!
I hope that you’ll join me in supporting the King’s African Water Pistols in their journey to raze The City of Men to the ground this season. The new signings look to be real contributors, and it is heartening to see the former a Rum Ham talisman move over to the correct and just side of London after many years spent in squaloUr. Onward to glory!
It’s y’all or City of Men will clinch by Valentine’s Day
Matt Patricia Eagles Watch:
1. Patricia and CB Slay talk out their differences during the time bith were on the Lions.
2.
my cats, you sure called this phenomenon
I see there was a discussion of 1588 during the Women’s World Cup final.
https://twitter.com/brfootball/status/1693273717441261960
Because today might be my last day on earth, I added some heavy cream to my oatmeal. It probably won’t be, but why take that chance?
That’s a mighty “might” there.
Fatso!
We need a Karen Carpenter shaming emoji!
Another use for dried porcinis is to grind them in a spice grinder and make some porcini powder, which can add a lot of oomph to spice rubs, or just add it to your aromatics during cooking.
“Tammy! I finally figured out a use for that old snuffbox that your grandmother left to us in her will!” – Coach Reid
I have a seasoning blend from Trader Joe’s that’s basically powdered mushroom. Mushroom and Company Multipurpose Seasoning Blend, it’s good in so many things.
I woke up at 4:20 a.m. and caught the last half hour of the final – turned it on right as they were doing VAR that led to the penaly. From what I’ve seen of highlights the most interesting stuff happened in the first half.
Who coined the term “Atomic Dustbins”? My hat is off to you forever.
TWAS HIPPO!! (my only lasting contribution of any off-season)
Hitler used the metric system.
This is now what the Brits call a dry bumming. Being a Toffee BUILDS CHARACTER, I guess?
Fuck’s sake, now DCL has sum back spasms smh
Esta volviendo a casa, esta volviendo a casa.
Righteous sauce right here folks.
And De Cecco is our daily brand over here in the Casa 2Pack. There is a full aisle (both side) in the supermarket to choose from, but De Cecco is a solid, no fuss go to.
And do not fear the dried shrooms… they reconstitute just fine.
Head nod and bow for YR. Enjoy folks.
+13′! Is Alex Ferguson’s Qatari love baby one of Englen forwards?
they just wanted Hippo to have a few MOAR precioso minutos with Ms. Bonmati
Please be safe and stay indoors during Hilary. And practice in the mirror for the insurance claim: “The wind wrecked my stuff. Your flooding exclusion is futile!”
England GK hogging all the expletives after that penalty save.