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JV NFL Stands Alone (Early Sabado Open Thread)

King Hippo

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Despite the calendar disruptions for the Slave LaboUr World Cup, Lesser Footy still works in a stupid window for international friendlies.  BLECH.  Hope y’all slept in.

Clemson (-7) at Wake Forest (Noon, ABC)

Meaningful ACC footy!  Say it ain’t so.  I can’t decide if I want Wake to win (for Atlantic tiebreaker and FUCK DABO reasons), or Son de Clem to take it (so they won’t be pissed off for my Wolven Sort’s visit next week).  Good thing it doesn’t really matter, eh?

Baylor (+2.5) at Iowa State (Noon, ESPN2)

I really enjoy the entropy of the Big 12.  Pretty much anybody could win the League, and pretty much anyone could finish last.  I feel like these two squadrons are perfect examples of that phenomenon.

Duke (+9) at Kansas (Noon, FS1)

Do not adjust your sets.  These are both 3-0, and it’s not Battle FOAR Atlantis hoopsball.  Kansas’ bandwagon is pretty full by now, though.  This spread is pretty big.

Florida (+11) at Tennessee (3:30, CBS)

Absolutely no way, no how, should the Vols be double digit faves here.  UF has owned them, despite recent hiccups.  Expect a shootout, and a close finish.

Oregon (-6.5) at Washington State (4:00, Fox)

I am buying shares of Wazzu.  Quack Attack is walking into a minefield here.  And you KNOW what (alternate) photo you gon’ get.

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Gumbygirl

Ugh, my SIL’s poor old cancer cat is constantly starving. As soon as he eats, he runs to the litter box and shits out the most foul smelling bowel barf ever. It’s so fucking sad. She won’t put him down, because it would “upset the kids.” Who are 19 years old today. Fuck. It pisses us off, but it’s not our cat. I would never let an animal suffer like that. She claims the vet says he’s not in pain, but this poor skinny old guy is clearly miserable.

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Doktor Zymm

Slip her a bunch of laxatives and beans and see how she likes it

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blaxabbath

It’s hard to let go. No one likes suffering but, hey, they property.

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Brocky

Okay I’m not a vet but someone in my immediate family is….

Have they tried giving it the science diet “anti-puke” stuff? A few years ago I thought my grandmas old dog wasn’t gonna make it with similar symptoms, we got some of what was described as “super bland stuff” and the dog were able to gradually go back to the regular stuff and lived another two years

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yeah right

On the weather front, go Ian go!

You can get bigger and stronger! You’re doing the Lord’s work! Build damn you build!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Normally I’d discourage this sort of sentiment but I realize the current forecast is for Ian to head straight for Tom Brady, so…

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Gumbygirl

Wow, Sparty getting spanked by the Gophers! I just got to Riverside to babysit my father in law. Gumby is at home puking. Good times!

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Brocky

“God damn it Indiana!”

-Me in 1988, 1992, 1996, 2000, 2004, 2012, 2016, and 2020

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yeah right

This time of the year can be frustrating.

I cook like it’s winter outside and it’s pretty fucking far from winter.

Nothing like breaking a sweat mid meal.

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Gumbygirl

It’s 2 degrees warmer here than it was in Desert Hot Springs. I might go hurl myself in the pool.

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yeah right

Holy shit would I love access to a convenient pool right now.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’re making pork tenderloin tonight featuring secret Korean spices.

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blaxabbath

Also known as “Top Secret American Spices sold to the North Koreans”.

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herodotus450

2000 Heisman Finalists: Drew Brees, Ladanian Tomlinson, Josh Heupel, Chris Weinke. All the proof you need to know that the trophy is and always has been a joke.

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scotchnaut

De’Zhaun Stribling managed to escape a certain Key and Peele sketch and almost scored a TD for Cougars just now.

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King Hippo

That field turf cost ’em 4 points

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King Hippo

Fight fight fight FOAR Washington STATE!
HonoUr and glory you must wiiiiiiinnnnn

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King Hippo

Trying to decide what is worse – Minny-SEW-ta’s helmets, or Sparty’s…play.

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King Hippo

I appreciate ND having two losses going into the Hole, so I can feel good that they are winning.

Mack Brown is one greeeeeaaaasy cocksucker (as Trailer Park Boys would say)

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Doktor Zymm

Got some eggs fresh out from under the chicken so swung by the grocery and am now eating brioche french toast with blueberries and goat cheese scrambled into the remaining french toast mix. Also picked up a decent dry rose and cracked open an ice cold sparkling water. I am a happy camper!

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WCS

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Gumbygirl

Oh hell yeah. I had a neighbor behind me who kept chickens. Those eggs are the best. The yolks were orange, gorgeous!

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King Hippo

Nix Pick Six…nixed

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King Hippo

or NOT!!

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WCS

Why does it seem like he’s been playing college football since the first Bush Administration?

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King Hippo

Vols/Gators is fun, but I miss my nap already

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yeah right

Watching the AFL Grand Final.

…

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah.

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yeah right

Um. Flashbacks to last year.

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Mr. Ayo

The U: Not back!

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WCS

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Last edited 3 years ago by WCS
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scotchnaut

I snorted a bit when the announcer said, “this is the dickety-doo time that Oregon and Washington State have met!”. Yeah, but it’s a West Coast rivalry-it doesn’t mean anything.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m at Target. I’ve made a tiny huge mistake.

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Dunstan

“I know the feeling.” — Deanna Favre

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TheRevanchist

My Target has milf eye candy. I went this morning and a hottie had on short shorts with the ass cheeks hanging out. I didn’t find what I was looking for, but, in a way, that was still a wonderful trip.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I didn’t find what I was looking for,

Didn’t you, though?

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scotchnaut

He found two things he was looking for.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve made a tiny…mistake.

[frowns] – Doug Martin

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TheRevanchist

Wake Forest deserves to lose. That was some shitty play calling at the end of the game.

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Gumbygirl

Lookit those Demon Deacons!

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WCS

Loogitem blow it.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Boy, Clemson’s secondary really is as bad as they say.

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Senor Weaselo

JD, gotta make that play for the Triple Crown. Also because then Verdugo singled to tie the game.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fuckin’ sweet, they’re gonna split-screen this game DURING OVERTIME.

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Dunstan

Look, I’m not just going to lie around and nap and watch sports like the rest of you, I’m going to get some important shit done.

Time to go to the liquor store.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Pfft. You can’t take a nap at the liquor store.” – Justin Blackmon

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WCS

Seems like a challenge for Jim Lahey!

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herodotus450

more like Woke Forest amirit?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Holy shit that’s not an *actual* brick wall, is it?

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Mr. Ayo

And here I thought Auburn’s hedges were a bad idea.

Last edited 3 years ago by Mr. Ayo
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yeah, trim those hedges!”- tWBS, attending a seance hosted by the Auburn cheerleading squad

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hoo boy, people watching the Clemson-Wake Forest game will NOT be happy about them split-screening things with the Judge at-bat (in which he walked).

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Mr. Ayo

Yeah, my twitter feed is a tire fire over this.

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Mr. Ayo

I mean, more than usual obviously.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A one-score game in the 4th quarter (soon to be tied, probably) and they have PROMISED that they will be cutting away again.

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Mr. Ayo

This is going to be an all time blunder on the level of the Heidi debacle.

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2Pack

It is irritating

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s pretty impressive throw off the one leg by the Clemson quarterback.

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scotchnaut

Those Tagovailoa boys do love to throw the 50/50 jump ball when they’re under pressure.

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scotchnaut

Wakey, wakey, Clemson.

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WCS

This is the last time Son of Clem has trailed in a regular season game since November against… UConn (!!!??!)

Congrats, Horatio!

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2Pack

Got drug shopping because “SALE” so 250 euros light but finally laid up and happy watching Clemson – Wake Forest. Ran into this thought figured at least Yeah Right and the Sunday Gravey crew would appreciate.

IMG_20220924_103754.jpg
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Gumbygirl

I was just thinking I have way too much kitchen stuff, and then I saw this. I WANT IT!!! Two person household, and I think I need a deli meat slicer. It’s a problem!

2
yeah right

I would definitely take the cast iron Dutch oven.

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Gumbygirl

I have the one Gumby’s Grandma gave me 40 years ago.

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Mr. Ayo

Who hates their finger tips?

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scotchnaut

Good Lord-the Leafs/Senators split squad game is being shown on three different channels here.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Just 3?

Winner of the game, wins the cup, right?

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scotchnaut

If Toronto wins, they win the Cup. If the Sens win, it was just a stupid exhibition game that means nothing.

3
Dunstan

It’s been fun watching the Leafs media and fans go from “planning the parade route every October” to “completely certain the team will choke in the playoffs even if they go 82-0.” Just delightful.

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King Hippo

Leaning nap here. I mean, got a solid 8 hours last night, so it’s not that I’m sleep-deprived. Just a lazy piece of shit.

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blaxabbath

I will never fault a man for taking a nap.

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King Hippo

Was reading David Sedaris the other day, his view is that “naps” are the new “quickies” for the older gentleman.

And yeah, it’s way better than sex*, or at least what I remember of having it.

*was probably just not very good at teh sex

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2Pack

Yeah I can’t believe I bitched about being required to take a nap in kindergarten. Somebody at work offers me an early afternoon nap, and I’m knocking them over on the way to the break room couch.

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herodotus450

Maryland quarterbacking success is proof that child abuse works, people!

1
herodotus450

Trying to “log in with my tv provider” but I don’t see an option for “over the air broadcasts use the public good of electromagnetic spectrum and are freely available to everyone,” wat do now fox?

1
blaxabbath

My vcr had buttons for each of channels 1-13. 11 was Fox. Nintendo played on 3.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Will watching the President’s Cup damage the Bonesaw tour? Cause if so, I’ll happily do it.

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King Hippo

if professional golfers could just take all the PCP and eat one another alive, that’d be kewl

1
blaxabbath

“So here’s the thing about the President and the Saudis….

The REAL President, I mean.”

– B Masters

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King Hippo

Gopher DE intercepts a screen pass to settle matters. YIKES

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Don T

Don’t relate, but fully endorse
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Don T

And it’s obvs the gender-fluid c*nt, so no sexism!

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King Hippo

True Hippo Belief! Love is just a lie your brain tells your genitals, to keep the species going.

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Don T

That’s 50%.The other 50% is doing stuff for others in a non-transactional manner.
Or at least waiting a month to throw it on his/her/their ungrateful face!

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blaxabbath

Cheaper to Keep Her, I always say.

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yeah right

Getting a divorce was the second greatest decision I ever made. Getting a vasectomy was the first.

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King Hippo

It’s Niiiiiiiiccccce degrees out today, so I am reclusing WITH THE WINDOW OPEN, Hippo living on teh edge, yo

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There’s something wrong with the world today.

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Gumbygirl

I would cut a bitch to be able to have my windows open. I’m not even sure if they have screens, but if the weather ever cools down enough to open them, I’m going to- come on in Mr. Scorpion! Welcome, Deadly Spider, and bring that lovely cool breeze with you!

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King Hippo

my mom likes to tell me the story of when there was a scorpion in my crib (infanthood spent in Wyoming, coUrtesy of the US Air Force).

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blaxabbath

Thank you for your sacrifice so we could enjoy our whiz bang jet shows to Rock You zLike a Hurricane.

1
King Hippo

Leaning towards Duke/Kansas, just for the Jayhawk cheerleaders.

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herodotus450

ppl forget that Washington State’s football coach got fired for not getting a vaccine last year

4
King Hippo

the JEW WORLD ORDER ain’t gonna control him NO SIREE

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blaxabbath

My parents snowbird up in Eastern Washington. That is a community that will try you a witch for not eating house glue.

Beautiful country though.

2
blaxabbath

My wife took blaxito to the Dr for his 4 year old check up or whatever. While there he got his immunization shots and a couple Band-Aid brand bandages. So my mom sees her post on Facebook or whatever and texts my wife asking if it was a covid shot. She says no. Then my mom follows up with a text about, “they’re saying lots of kids who get the covid shot are getting [medical thing word I don’t know and doubt she was familiar with before the Fox News segment]. Just worry about my grandson.”

My wife didn’t know what to respond so u told her, “Lots of obese elderly people have health problems. Just worry about my MIL.”

It’s weird to hear dumb Trump stuff still being offered as fact. Like, while he was in office, sure you can always make the argument that his opinions reflected the nation or whatever — but, if nothing else, that benefit of the doubt has been eliminated after a pretty ugly economic reopening and so no real shift towards in public opinion towards Lock Up Fauci or Whatv About Hunter Biden Laptop?

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A lot of times when my wife says “they’re saying” I respond by asking who “they” is. Usually it’s some restaurant critic or something talking about dumplings, though, not some Q-Anon conspiracy theorist who thinks that the vaccines that cured polio are a government plot.

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blaxabbath

I’ve never done dim sum. And I’m intimidated to try.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Stay away from the tripe

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Don T

But I work in government. Tripe is my métier!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was too. You’ve done tapas before, right? It’s basically that, but in dumpling form.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

To expand on this, have her ask for specific sources, because she “wants to do her own research.”

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I’m now of the age where I hurt myself sleeping. I did something to my elbow overnight and it’s all swollen. Need to start the paperwork on my medic alert bracelet soon.

2
King Hippo

Eskimo Brother!!! Welcome to HippoVerse, keep yo’ hands in the old man car at all times

2
blaxabbath

Probably shut down the last six batters at some SoCal minor league ballgame in your sleep.

Tommy John before you’re 75 if you keep this place up.

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

That would have been quite the feat as its my non throwing arm that’s hurt

Last edited 3 years ago by BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup
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King Hippo

the dreaming you must be bi-curious smh

1
blaxabbath

Nttawwt

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King Hippo

No morning sportsball sucks out loud, but now I am caught up on Wrexham and will be on Atlanta by noon.

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TheRevanchist

Wrexham has the lead, up 3-0. 68’

2
King Hippo

Super Paul Mullin?

He wears red and white, he’s fookin’ dynamite…

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blaxabbath

Artemis is delayed again. This keeps up and I’m feeling good about the chance to pop out to FL for the eventual go with the boy.

0
blaxabbath

So Pujols — not juiced?

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King Hippo

Really hope his micropenis turns green and falls off. He has RUINED the #BFIB for Hippo. And of course he’s juiced, Manfred is happy to look the other way, as it helps him convert el beisbol into NBA on Dirt.

1
Horatio Cornblower

If he’s not the Angels should sue him for not trying during his contract with them, and if he is the Angels should sue him for not trying during his contract with them.

1
King Hippo

Artie Moreno and Poo Holes were very much two ginormous assdicks that 100% deserved each other. Career should have ended there.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I’m just really happy that a guy who served his wife of 20+ years with divorce papers the day after she came out of brain surgery finally achieved his dreams. Just really warms my heart, you know?

5
Dunstan

“I mean, I would have done it the day before surgery, but still a solid move, I give it 9/10.” — Newt Gingrich

3
yeah right

Don’t forget, Artie signed Josh Hamilton in his “Prime” to a bajillion dollar contract upon whence he immediately relapsed and disappeared from the planet.

The Rendon signing has also proven less than desired results.

Artie Moreno is the fantasy baseball owner in your league who makes twice the transactions of everyone else combined and finishes in last every year.

4
King Hippo

It seems hard to fail with Mike Trout and Ohtani as one’s foundation. But he’s not just managed it, he does so CONSISTENTLY.

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