Apparently, 26 August is National Blow Notre Dame Day (congratulations to those who celebrate). Not much other excuse for them playing bad-even-for-their-recent-history Naval Academy crew…with essentially the ENTIRE slate to themselves. Seriously, this is absolute monkey feces. But I get ahead of myself, we have good Premiership action first.
Cherries host Spurs to start things off, early and on goddamned TV as is proper (7:30, USA). We get it, y’all really want us to buy Peacock. Y’all needs to get that the pushing is reaching the point of diminishing rerturns (ie, people canceling and sailing the piratical seas, out of pure spite). On the pitch, Hippo wonders if there will be a wee hangover from the visitors’ smashing performance last weekend. I bet yeah right’s crew at least lead at the half. Worth your time.
Other Hippo thinks I am full of shit, and he’s certainly not wrong.
Recall that Hippo’s Everton support is really just a trick of the subconscious, resulting in another creative way to hate myself. No points so far this season, and the already-insufficient investment/cash injection we’ve been counting on…has hit a brick wall. Again, I raise the spectre of administration, points deductions, and a cascading fall to League One (or worse). It is very, very plausible. Perhaps likelier than not. A toxic Goodison Park will welcome equally hapless Wolves (10:00, Peacock) if you are a glutton for punishment.
Otherwise, a massive Clubhouse Derby (King’s Afrikan Water Pistols v. Mighty Whitey) is on USA. Seriously, watch that. Fulham need a reaction after last week’s limp home display against Praise Beesus. Speaking of, Bees are also streaming against Palace, while Men Untied take on the Rapey Robins Hood (also 10:00, Peacock).
Shit hot, top of the Table Brighton host this week’s Spotlight Dance, and rightly so. De Zerbi is equal parts madman and wizard, perhaps the spiritual successor to Marcelo Bielsa. I mean, he’s Italian, so I think legally required to be Catholic? Trashbirds will tussle with a decent starting Rum Ham (12:30, NBC), very worthwhile viewing.
Sunday’s not half bad, neither – a USA double dip of Team Knifey hosting City of Men (9:00), followed by the Vilest of Cockmongrels Derby (11:30), Geordie Arabia against that Redshite filth Hippo is always railing about. Waaaaahhhhh, poor you, with the Saudi League trying to give you massive money for pretty close to washed Mo Salah. Life is so unfair for those micropenis whingers.
Here’s what to hate watch after one’s Saturday nap…
UTEP (pick ’em) at Jacksonville State (5:30, CBSSN)
Be still my beating heart, C-USA play is back FOAR REALS, and we will all be there to witness it. What a time to be alive. I don’t even know what JSU’s mascot is. WAIT, are they maybe the other Gamecocks squadron? I really do have no life whatsoever.
Next time I post (well, after tonight’s which is already in the hopper), it will be Most Blessed September. We have almost made it, fuckadoos!
I just can’t help but laugh when NFL Talking Heads talk up Drew Lock like he’s a phenomenal QB.
Reminds of this immortal bit of reporting, in which Jaworski is observed rehearsing saying things like ““call me crazy, but I’m really excited for Tyler Palko tonight.”
Aer Lingus is the art of eating farts right?
Why yes I just explained to a baby that Stamford Bridge is indeed in Fulham.
The Occurence at Stamford Bridge by the Coward Jessie James is one of my favorite stories
The part I needed to fix the dryer, completely DIY, has come in.
So far I have correctly dismantled the dryer, only managing to lose one screw down the lint shaft. I am incredibly unhandy around the house. Will I be successful in fixing the dryer all by my big boy self, or will Mrs. Horatio call Sears/Kenmore repair services while I angry drink the rest of the day?
TUNE IN AND FIND OUT!!!
Is it the heater element/fuses or a motor/belt?
Or perhaps something as simple as the door latch (and associated interlock)?
The motor belt had snapped. Biggest pain in the ass was finding a replacement part, then getting the front panel to snap back on.
The dryer has a new belt and is all put back together. Seems to be running nicely, but I will absolutely be watching the first few loads, (heh, “loads”), go through to make sure nothing bursts into flames.
Hero!
my big boy self,
Freudian slip
Banana-pineapple smoothie
The Plains, Virginia
Checkmate!
Brighton and getting fucked by VAR in the box. Name a more iconic duo. Not that their defending was anything to be desired, but if any of those penalties are given, its a different game.
West Ham at the top of the Premier League.
Isn’t this how the last season of ‘Ted Lasso’ started?
Titty Keeper playing a blinder here. Trashbirds might have salvaged a point otherwise.
Hey-yooo! Sorry to have been EXTREMELY scarce. Been lurking like a sumbitch though. This West Ham game is so over the top I am SPEECHLESS. WHO ARE THESE GUYS?! Also, Paquetá turned into Neal Maupay so quickly, I never noticed! Anyway, off to drive drunk JMU kids around for 12 hours. Saw the cheer squad photo on the banner and immediately thought, “HAPPY HAPPY HIPPO!” Have a great afternevening folks!
This cost US$90.00, but it was pretty good.
I lied. It was only fifteen bucks. That $3.75 each, which is very good.
I was gonna say, if you paid $90 for that I hope you got ‘The Robert Kraft’
oh, Fronk gonna have some Afternoon Delight in a half hour or so. BUHLEE DAT!
This is the most David Moyes match I have ever seen!
Also, bk – can you please fire your tank cannon at the ND leprechaun? Thanks so very much.
The upcoming bk190 biopic (artist’s conception):
Your first mistake is assuming that I’d be willing to debase myself into getting me an ’42 Ford-built M4A3 Sherman. Your second mistake is assuming that even if I had interesting experience here and there, I’m free to share them. In fact, I’m pretty sure (if going by the paperwork I was forced to sign) I’m actively forbidden from blabbing.
As long as you know that if you ever need me to contribute my meager strength to a massive tug-of-war to pull said tank across state lines, I’m there for you.
You have to be a bit more specific than that I’m afraid, plus I’m legally obligated to tell you that I’m not allowed to own or fire any of my non-rifle caliber weapons, except under special conditions and only under strict supervision (that somehow miscounted how many APFSDS-T, HEAT and HE-FRAG rounds I got issued when we tested the Leo2’s we were sending for
reutilizthe great Ukrie counter-offensive.).*to own ammo for my non-rifle caliber weapons. *sigh* edits are borked again
Can’t you make your own ammo? Another good insomniac activity.
…Uhhh, of course not*. Just like me owning anything bigger than 14.5mm rounds is totally not allowed. Seriously, though, ammo for the big stuff isn’t as easy to make as
untraceable ammo for you riflesstandard 5.56/7.62 stuff and tolerances are a pain to get right even at the basic metallurgy level (since you don’t need to just make ammo, you need to make it ACCURATE) and legality aside, I don’t see a point in doing thatespecially when I may in theory know where half a T-72’s combat loadout is buried. Hell, complexity in big-ass ammo manufacturing is why the Ukries for example can’t manufacture their own ammo anymore (outside of small batchs) and have to rely on NATO/elsewhere, since the process is expensive and requires time and well-trained personnel with the right equipment.*plus getting DU or tungsten slugs for replacement sabot rounds isn’t exactly easy to find (and thank jebus for that)By the way, I’m not saying that you should, but … if you want an untraceable-ish way to settle the score with that leprechaun, just look up kamikaze drones. Making an FPV drone with an usable payload capacity with a 10km range is easy enough that there’s even a guide on youtube 😀 Yes, kiddos, the only thing that more or less protects us from “very bad stuff” is that the people most likely to caust that “very bad stuff” are dense enough not to be capable of following an idiot-proof guide online. Not the ways, not the means, not the opportunity… just the simple goddamn truth that thankfully way too many didn’t have shop class and so don’t know how to solder
Smiting one’s enemies is always kewl.
It would probably just be easier to make the leprechaun say his name backwards and disappear.
These “driver assist” gizmos seem like they’d be very helpful to the shitfaced motorist. Be nice to see a commercial highlight that benefit.
“I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.” – Bob Barker, seeing the negative reaction to the Spanish soccer official kissing Jenni Hermoso without consent
nods in Richard Dawson
I’m currently in Middleburg, Virginia. This town is, ahem, wealthy, to put it mildly.
They should change it to Upper Middleburg, at least
You mean the US capital of fox hunting? You don’t saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay 😛 Seriously, though, the area’s getting rather affluent thanks to it becoming a magnet for IT (especially data centres) + the convenient location…
This place has been affluent for 300 years. The data centers and tech hoi polloi are over by Dulles Airport
You mean that our local guide downplayed the blue-bloodededness of the whole area?! I’m shocked and sickened to hear that 😀
I had a job at a BBQ joint/convenience store in Upperville for a while. Mostly selling beer and smokes to stable workers in the area. They put together giant multi-farm NFL suicide pools. The landowners also allow them to hunt deer on their properties every year. Not sure if local authorities look the other way on that or not. I believe Robert Duvall has (had?) a spread out that way too.
Brilliant Rum Ham assist and finish, with expected roles reversed.
Not going to lie. I turned it off and did yard work at 2-1. Down a man and we equalize? Odd that.
Man, that was beautiful to look at.
(the bicycle kick, I meant)
yeah, I had it muted (sound on Everton/laptop) but that was an amazing sequence of play
God if that had gone in and then been disallowed for being offsides, (which it looked like it was), the stadium might have imploded.
It was super obviously offsides, I think even the fans in the stadium wouldn’t have been all that shocked.
GOAL – Arsenal 2-2 FulhamJoao Palhinha
TWIST!
Told ya. Never let yourself hope, never let yourself believe.(The Gooner’s guide to sanity and lower blood pressure)
Arsenal deserved that. Basically quit trying up 2-1 and Fulham down to 10.
No killer instinct. I’m sure that won’t come back to bite them later in the season.
I am positive Adama could get the Cowboys a TD from the 3-yard line.
You can’t do that! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap! You can’t do that! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap!
When you said “clap, clap, clap-clap-clap” I thought you were referencing Ron Mexico’s latest chart at the free clinic.
That’s a name I hadn’t heard of in a long time, lol. Still, it must suck for that player how much of a legend/meme he’s in FM 😀
Anyone else hear that “Oh fuck off” just there?
I told you all.
There’s still time for us to piss away the lead, there’s still
hopedarkness and pain !You called it!
That’s my like 28th season living with Arsenalism. I’ve seen this shit way too much to count, so .. y’know 😉
Today I learned that the Premier League does not recognize the awesome power of lightning.
WAITWHAT?!
GOAL – Arsenal 2-1 FulhamEddie Nketiah
Complete turnaround!
The ol’ “attempt to dislocate the defender’s shoulder and leave ’em lying in the dirt” play gets them every time.
Hey, it’s only bad if the ref blows
his husbandwhistle, otherwise it’s just enthusiasm. Plus, find me where it’s explicitly stated in the rulebook that our players can’t go full Last Boy Scout in the oppo’s penalty box or equip our centre-backs with a Maxim gun to stop counter-attacks dead in their tracks?Nketiah, you beauty!!! Now, get back to work!
As a fair-weather Arsenal fan, I picked an excellent time to tune in to this game.
Well, that’s some poor sportsmanship right there, inn’t?
Not really – since it’s in our favour, it’s just playing the game until the whistle. If it was against us, though, it’d have been just cause for immediate capital punishment for the goalscorer’s entire bloodline.
Jesus Christ, did Fulham sign Zeke Elliot?
Shirley Bassey was unavailable, so they had to settle for Calvin.
If Saka takes this kick…
/huge exhale of breath
Fulham could pull their keeper and Arsenal would find a way to not score.
There it is
Can’t even complain about a cheap foul there. That was not the best decision I’ve ever seen in the box, and that includes my prom night.
So bad Tete couldn’t even feign innocence
As an occasional player of the game called poker, I have seen better poker faces.
Kai Havertz is not good enough! Send him on the next raft over Victoria Falls!
But he finds open spaces!
Lots of hot wet man meat on that North London touchline, yo
Dear Mr. Leno,
Here’s a joke I wrote that I thought you could use on your late night show:
“The Navy vs. The Irish? Why, I haven’t seen this many drunk rapists since that party at Harvey Weinstein’s house!”
If you like it and say it on your show let me know, although I could just watch the show and find out that way haha.
Not sure I can watch the 2nd half with the knowledge the implosion is coming. This feels a lot like last year v Man U in the FA Cup QF.
You should watch it, since while there’s going to be an uncontrolled implosion, it’s going to be the home side… well, unless Arteta subs out Havertz promptly. Or even better – you can get baked/drunk/both and try to install OSuX on a NUC 😀
This is going to end 2-0 Fulham.
Book it.
My word! Did the groundskeeper accidentally switch the water in Saliba’s water bottle with palm wine!?! Wake up lad!
“Arsenal look very open at the back…”
Somewhere Balls has an overwhelming urge to watch Premier League. He can’t explain it, but is compelled to turn the TV on.
Me, to Havertz:
That’s certainly one way to start a game, Gunners.
Drat! Send Ramsdale to the lowest level of the asbestos mines! I demand satisfaction!
Holy Fuck.
1 down, 2 to go. If I didn’t pre-jinx my gooners, I’d be upset right now. Instead I’m enjoying a Pina Colada, a cigar and browsing <redacted>.
The final will be 3-1 Arsenal. Book it.
Nah, at worst, it’s 1-2 Whitey, though I’m sticking with a 0-3 Whitey, with Arsenal outplaying them, but “not being our day” being in full effect.
“<redacted>” = “used Warsaw Pact weapon parts web-sites”
Nope, because firstly – those are overpriced (unlike the M113’s and the like) at the moment, since everyone and their grandmother’s trying to get even spare parts hulks to the Ukries, as Westen gear turned out to be little more than a death trap 😀
Secondly – nah, <redacted> being war coverage by the Ukries and Russians (since Western media’s about as useful as a condom to an eunuch in that regard) and uhh… shit’s getting bleaked on what’s theoretically “our side” (the Ukries), since even the started talking about going north of 500k KIAs* (with twice as much maimed) as of the start of their “vaunted”
mass suicide runcounter attack*though judging by the fact that they’ve started conscripting people at gunpoint from Lviv and are prepping the stage for doing the same in the last “sacred cows” of Odessa and Kyiv, they’re probably well north of a million dead already
Here for the beating. Must be tough for Cecil to watch his side beat up the whites.
If you are a member of the Whites, you will never lose a match in your life!
“Each team only gets one little girl to lead them out? This is bullshit.”
-M. Gaetz
https://www.ft.com/
I hope the link works here.
Whats thinks Hippo? Our Guru of all that is footie.
Crap, the link just brings you to the Financial Times page.
The article opined that Saudi cash was saving FIFA.
https://www.ft.com/content/2eb04f95-0d29-4ac2-b167-4e7b782f36e8
This one
1) Those boots REALLY work for Marika.
2) And yeah, there is deffo a reason the entire footy power structure is Saudi criticism free. Money talks.
Do you think the product is going to be any good or is this just gonna be MLS in Southwest Asia?
The latter, fo sho
Not too surprising, given that way too much of major sports’ surviving solely based on (allegedly)”democratically-challenged” needing to pump their PR image – UEFA’s relationship with Gazprom, F1’s with everyone with a bit of oil, the olympic sports with China, Russia (until certain events) and the like, since no one in their right mind would regularly pump money into events that won’t bring a return on investment…
The NFL (and JV NFL, to an extent) is lucky enough that their offerings are the ONLY constant that advertisers can rely on, so supply and demand for their ad space is pretty healthy.
Really enjoying how every bid for the Olympics these days comes down to Beijing and something like Kazakhstan.
Given what financial boondoggles the previous Olympics were, there’s a reason why sane people throw a fit as soon as they smell that their officials are planning on hosting one (ie the Norwegians). That’s the benefit of being the ruler of something like China – only your opionion matters an’ cost’s not really an issue, when your ego.. uhhh.. the national prestige is at stake 😀
G’afternoon folks, anyone else wondering how Arsenal will
make me feel more genocidal than usualirk me againststore brand Chelski“”””Mighty”””” Whitey?Litre, upon waking and baking:
Nah, he’ll be too busy reminding me of this post in 150 minutes or so, when they spike our gun in our own stadium 0-3 or thereabouts.
Now THAT is some proper Gooner dooming!
Or part of my cunning plan to enjoy the game – if I jinx it and expect to get us destroyed on the pitch, the only way I can be surprised ought to be pleasant 😉
George Will paraphrased – The good thing about being a pessimist is that one is constantly being pleasantly surprised or proven right.
Well, the announcers just talking about Fulham’s Raul Jimenez, (or something; damn these ethnic names), hasn’t scored in 29 games, so I have him penciled in for 2 against Arsenal, including a backbreaker in the 85th minute.
Nice little South Coast monsoon going on, not lifting Cherry spirits none.
Current BFC is grateful to Past BFC for leaving some leftover banana chocolate chip pancake batter in the fridge. Future BFC may be less pleased.
Careful. If you keep eating like that you’ll be 215 lbs in no time.
I am 6’2 and 195 quite wiry. There is no way that fat Cheeto is 215. I saw that LAMAR! is 6’3 215.
If I can also be 6’2″….
I’m very aware of who and what Jacksonville State is.
2003:
2013:
2023:
2024:
He’s coming back to Morganhole, isn’t he?
Yinz can take the boi out of Morganhole, but not the Morganhole out of the boi.
Is RichRod still the Smartest Guy In The Room? JFC, I still remember that WVU/Pitt game.
And you left out his stint at Michigan.
He wasn’t there long enough to fit the 20_3 narrative.