I have to be honest in that I didn’t see last year coming. Hell, even my title for the 2021 preview was “Embrace the Suck”. Just checked my notes and I did not do an Eagles preview last year, too busy with the wine.
I will say that I don’t have faith in Jalen Hurts even after the formidable season last year. My fear is that he had a good year, other teams figure him out, and he regresses to a Kyler Murray level of player.
In that 2021 preview I listed the Eagles ineptitude on drafting wide receivers and after reading it again it still is worse than I imagined. However it seems that they hit on Devonta Smith so that is nice. We also keep drafting Georgia Bulldogs and they continue to make Saban their bitch so I like that too.
In my lifetime the Eagles have been to the Superbowl 4 times. We will relive those before I go game by game this season with my pessimistic predictions.
In 1980 with Vermeil at the helm I was four years old and I had not yet become an Eagles fan, that took another couple years. The moment was when my father who was a Dolphins fan was so incensed that his Fins lost to the Eagles that I kept laughing at him. This obviously made him more angry and going forward I was an Eagle fan for life. There are only a few traits that he taught me that stuck because he wasn’t a very good person. One was that once you pick a team you stick with them your entire life. So here we are.
I lived through the Cocaine Cowboys destroying us at every turn in the 90s. I lived through the Detmer brothers at the helm and as I mentioned I lived through arguably the worst history of drafting wide receivers ever in the NFL.
Then came the 2004 Superb Owl. At the time I lived in Australia so the game was at 7 am on Monday morning. My roomie (A Bills fan) woke me up with some champagne and MDMA as you do. We knew one of the only places to watch the game would be at Crown Casino in their sports bar so we jumped on the tram and headed down there.
At the door to the sports bar we were asked to pay an entry fee. To which my buddy asked “What does that get us?”
“It gets you in mate” was the response.
Well, as we know the Eagles got Tom Brady’d and we decided to make our way home to St. Kilda the neighboUrhood where we lived. Instead of taking the tram back however we played the right hand rule drinking game. This game is when you are walking to your destination you stop at every place that serves alcohol on the right hand side of the road and have a drink. Needless to say we were already pretty wasted when we left the casino at noon and by the time we got back to the destination we were headed we were absolutely trashed. It was a glorious day in Melbourne so my Aussie mates decided to come down to the pub to meet us. In seeing my state my friend Wazzy offered me up some speed that he had just procured. I’d never taken the trucker drug before but I did need a pick me up so I gave it a go. Well friends, my brain was sure acting fast but my body could not catch up. I was falling off my barstool, burning people with cigarettes by accident and basically should have been sent home long ago. In fact they did send my roommate home as he was way too far gone. On his route home he walked by the bar where I was employed and walked square into a tree. This was noticed by one of the bartenders who was a friend of ours so he left the bar and walked (carried) my roomie the rest of the way home. I was a hurtin unit for 3 days. Don’t do shitty drugs kids.
Fast forward to 2017!
We win!!!! Sadly I was at home with a wee baby Decilitre and my wife. I had no one to celebrate with, or talk shit to, also the next morning I had to fly to Toronto for work at 6:00 am. It was not a party.
Here we are at last year.
I went to a pub downtown to meet a couple of friends I hadn’t seen in many years. The bar was packed with more Chefs fans than Eagles. You also get people wearing their teams jersey because FOOTBALL! I didn’t think we would beat Mahomes but as the game went on I started to get drunker and started to believe. Halftime came and I won a door prize. I moseyed my way up to the bar to collect it and the young lady who was giving out the prizes immediately had a sour face. She felt bad because…. I won a Mahomes jersey.
We all know how it ended. I stormed out of the bar after the holding call and made my way to the train to get home. I had lit a dart and a homeless gentleman began to pester me. I must have had rage in my eyes because I turned to him and stated “Now is not the fucking time!”. He then left the platform immediately and people gave me a wide berth for the rest of my trip home. The swearing and muttering must have put them off.
Eagles 2023/24 Schedule
Week 1: Sunday, September 10 at New England Patriots at 4:25 PM (CBS)
Well, I am not sold on the Mac Attack against Bulldogs Eagles front seven. The gift of the 9th overall pick from New Orleans was a nice little draft day present. The Eagles have drafted five Georgia alum in the last 2 years.
W
Week 2: Thursday, September 14 vs. Minnesota Vikings at 8:15 PM (Prime Video)
At least this one is at home and Dalvin Cook is gone.
W
Week 3: Monday, September 25 at Tampa Bay Buccaneers at 7:15 PM (ABC)
Tom Brady isn’t walking through that door. Plus I will be in Hawaii so it will be like an afternoon game for me.
W
Week 4: Sunday, October 1 vs. Washington Commanders at 1 PM (FOX)
Commanders is a stupid name.
W
Week 5: Sunday, October 8 at Los Angeles Rams at 4:05 PM+ (FOX)
In L.A. I reckon this will be a frustrating loss.
L
Week 6: Sunday, October 15 at New York Jets at 4:25 PM+ (FOX)
At the Jets? If the Eagles are 4-1 they will flex this. We are going to get so much New York Rodgers this season it will be like Brady but worse.
L
Week 7: Sunday, October 22 vs. Miami Dolphins at 8:20 PM+ (NBC)
I think the Dolphins are for real and will win the AFC East.
L
Week 8: Sunday, October 29 at Washington Commanders at 1 PM+ (FOX)
The Eagles will beat these guys twice.
W
Week 9: Sunday, November 5 vs. Dallas Cowboys at 4:25 PM+ (FOX)
THE DFO IN VEGAS WEEKEND!
L so the Cowboys fans can be extra irritating.
Week 10: BYE
Week 11: Monday, November 20 at Kansas City Chiefs at 8:15 PM+ (ESPN/ABC)
I predict Hurts will be injured at this point.
L
Week 12: Sunday, November 26 vs. Buffalo Bills at 4:25 PM+ (CBS)
This schedule is not easy!
L
Week 13: Sunday, December 3 vs. San Francisco 49ers at 4:25 PM+ (FOX)
I really hope Josh Johnson or Sam Darnold starts this game. Suck it Aiyuk
W
Week 14: Sunday, December 10 at Dallas Cowboys at 8:20 PM+ (NBC)
We usually split with the Cowboys so I am guessing that we both get road wins this year.
W
Week 15: Sunday, December 17 at Seattle Seahawks at 4:25 PM+ (FOX)
I should really have thought about going to this game.
W
Week 16: Monday, December 25 vs. New York Giants at 4:30 PM+ (FOX)
Darren Waller will be their leading receiver. He is the Willy Wonka and the rest of the receivers are the oompa loompahs as Decilitre is as tall as them.
W
Week 17: Sunday, December 31 vs. Arizona Cardinals at 1 PM+ (FOX)
Blax himself has admitted that they are a dumpster fire and the Eagles will need this one to get a wild card.
W
Week 18: TBD at New York Giants
One of the two teams will need this game to get in.
W
So what do we have here? 11-6. That actually seems right to me.
What did we learn? Nothing about the Eagles.
Don’t do speed, it is a wild ride and totally not worth it.
If you find that your code is arbitrarily changing the value of a variable by a factor of (2x + 1), a good solution is to simply refactor it by (x-1)/2 right before you’re about to use it. Nothing could possib-lie go wrong when you do something like that.
Now, now, just because a solution is a kludgy, undocumented mess than can and will produce wrong results is fine and acceptable (you may even say it’s “industry standard”), as it can be fixed in production later. Now, if things work from the get go, then you panic, because that shit ain’t the way things are supposed to happen.
It’s so fucking weird, literally nothing happens to the variable other than it getting passed into the function, but somehow fifty lines of code later it’s different (and consistently so).
So, so weird. It’s like DJ 3000 is pissed at me or something.
If it’s being passed as a reference variable make sure it’s not being sent somewhere else as well. Otherwise, just do a line by line debug to see where it changes.
Might as well also have the code print out the intermediate results, so you can spot where things go wonky. ie measurement taken > serialprint > at time> serial print> combined data formatted for influx > serialprint…. (since I’m currently enjoying debugging a bit of code for a series of ESP8266-powered air quality sensors that for some reason report their measurement as taken 3 hours previously, despite the code using UTC, with the command and control server presenting the data in whatever local time zone the browser you use is in)
By the way, you can give ChatGPT a try for code debugging and cleanup. It’s not a 100% foolproof, but I’ve discovered that if you feed it a mostly done code snippet, it can unfuck it.
They’re so cute when they try to debug! 🙂
If you have a debugger, just step through the code and look at the value to see who’s changing it. Otherwise, printf, println, whatever writes output is your friend. Be sure and label them so that you don’t have a bunch of lines that all say, “X == 24”. I usually stick my initials on it too if I’m not using log4j or some other logging tool, so I can dig them back out more easily. Ex: “BEB: Log 1 X = <something>”.
If your language uses pass by reference, or if you’re using it to save space or work around object copying headaches, someone you passed it to is stepping on it. Side effects are Bad.
If it was C or C++, you might be running out of stack space, or running off the end of an array. Running out of stack space tends to make things blow up. Running off the end of C arrays may or may not blow shit up.
ex:
char first_name[10];
char last_name[10];
strcpy(last_name, “SMITH”);
strcpy(first_name, “NAMETOOLONG”); // C don’t GAS
printf(“Last Name = %s\n”, last_name);
// Output can be “G” from “NAMETOOLONG”.
Java, C#, Visual Basic, etc ain’t gonna let you do that, and will throw an exception right away.
You know Zymm is tootling around in one of these!
Just spent the night catching up on What We Do In The Shadows.
If you’re not watching it you need to fix that. Absolutely hilarious.
I watched today the news channel episode today, featuring “Nandor DeLaurentis” 🤣🤣🤣
TOO GOOD
Funfact! Yesterday, I saw it yesterday.
I blame the melatonin
there’s some hotel in vegas that’s (allegedly) 8$ a night
With $108 in resort fees?
and that’s just the Teusday price… as long as you book 4 more nights after at $250
That’s a brothel and they expect you to work.
.
S’long as they use plenty of lube…
Because no one bothered, I had to:
Omg Chloe you’re serving cunt tonight!
Hyuna is serving cunt in this photoshoot
Who is over there serving cunt?
No matter what she does, Bayonetta can’t seem to NOT serve cunt every. single. time.
person 1: “omg your outfit is literally serving cunt so hard”
Might have to rename a certain Sexy Friday section
Urban Dictionary is a wonderful thing
Watching the U.S. Open, and while it’s true that the umpire has been overly generous in not calling a time violation on Gauff’s opponent until now, I can’t help but wonder if ESPN’s announcers would be making such a fuss about it if it was the American doing it.
My Week One preview, for Horatio as brain bleach:
A Belated Canine Battle Preview – @UConn, Thursday, 31 Aug 2023 (7:30p, CBSSN)
KingHippo_fka_BJD95 Posts: 6,457PFN Referee
9:37PM
Did you watch some of the shower of shit that was Week Nil of JV NFL action? FUCKING LIAR, you know you did. What else was there to do?
As such, Wolven ears got a baptism to these CBSSN announcing crews. Good Lord, and you thought “Budget ESPN” booths were bad. This was like high school AV Club-calibre.
But what of the footed ball? Week One at least features real teams. Of which, NC State may or may not be one. It’s hard to tell until we see how fast/well the new-look offense clicks. It’s one of those ironies, we have produced such an insane number of NFL quartered backs (and really, OL too) – but when did you last put your hopes for success (such as they are) on video game offensive numbers? Maybe Rivers’ senior year? And his oldest son has already graduated college.
Make no mistake about it – if we are to even pretend to contend (or make a run at 9 or 10 wins), it will be because Robert Anae and Brennan Armstrong put each other into post-season awards contention. Give Dave Doeren credit – he’s about as far outside of his comfort zone as you will ever see a man in his 50s willingly go.
Like most of you, I am a College of Engineering graduate. As such, I tend to pick statements like this apart. What is Doeren’s motivation here? He’s shown some willingness to use/embrace game theory, even if this “self-proclaimed double digit IQ” guy likely doesn’t quite grasp the finest minutae. I don’t either. Then again, I do a lot of drugs. That’s the optimistic idiot inside my brain, and I’ve mostly convinced myself that this is actually the play.
My “conditioned to Wolven pain” majoritarian brain lump worries that it could be a panic move. Maybe the entire house of cards is ready to collapse with our roster. Depth is a concern, OL is a giant concern. Ah don’t cotton to even imagine what OL depth looks like. I also can’t really name any of our WR/TE corps, and that’s not just the portal era talking. I really have no fucking idea, beyond “there’s that one guy we swiped from Rice.”
But really, this is game one. At least our canine breed is not domesticated. WHO MAKES A FUCKING DOMESTICATED PET THEIR MASCOT? 2023’s UConn is going to be UMass, based on what I saw on Channel(s) Zero last weekend. Maybe actual UConn has some “second season syndrome” (another perfect turn of phrase I have learned from the NBC sports futbol crew) under Mora the lesser, and they take a stutter step back. I don’t know what the over/under is, but I’mma take the over.
NC State 41, Connecticut 34
Quote
Leave a Comment
Hippo SPEEK isn’t just limited here. Your legal briefs must be interesting.
Jesus, you must think NC State really sucks this year if you have them only winning by 7 AGAINST UCONN.
Last season’s opener, we beat ECU by ONE. Because they missed an extra point and a chip shot FG.
I may actually be going to that game.
I’m so disconnected from the NFL these days that I had absolutely zero clue that the Eagles were in the Superb Owl last season. It just doesn’t seem like a thing the Eagles would do.
Breaking news from DFO Ohio
Outstanding Talk Series
1) Daily Show with Trevor Noah (I have no idea why this guy is even on TV in any capacity)
2) Jimmy Kimmel Live (Sarah Sillverman bummed a smoke off me once)
3) Late Night with Seth Meyers (I grew up near Fort Myer. Otherwise I don’t care)
4) The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (great on Colbert Report, terrible as himself)
5) The Problem with Jon Stewart ( the problem is that you were the best truth teller but you abandoned your post right before Trump got elected and left it to some unfunny fluff who couldn’t find his own butt. Don’t come crawling back now.)
NOBODY WINS
Outstanding Structured Reality Program
1) Antiques Roadshow
2) Diners, Drive-Thrus, and Dives
3) Love is Blind
4) Queer Eye
5) Shark Tank
There can be only one answer:
Diners drive-ins and dives because America’s the land of the fatasses
Love is Blind – my daughter won’t stop talking about it.
Hey tonight is the last night to vote on the Emmy Awards. I can’t ethically sell my vote, but I can certainly entertain suggestions. All judgement is for this current year.
GAME SHOWS:
1) Jeopardy! (Yes if Ken Jennings, No if Blossom. Aaron Rogers wasn’t terrible).
2) Wheel of Fortune (Alex Trebek was Dick Cavett but Pat Sakkara is Johnny Carson)
3) The Price is Right (Bob Barker just died but he retired several seasons ago. I like Drew Carey but I’ve never seen him host it)
4) Family Feud (Steve Harvey is on TV or radio in some form in Los Angeles 24 hours a day)
5) That’s My Jam (WTF?)
Reply in the comments. Please spay and neuter your pets before fucking them in the ass. It’s the decent thing to do.
Wheel of Fortune. A nice retirement gift for Pat.
Where I’m leaning. Sakkara=Sajak (spell check)
Since Trebek died and I watched all the potential replacements, I realized how good Trebek was at his job, and he came up through the game show farm system before Jeopardy! He was very experienced.
Now watch Sajak on WOF. He looks effortless, and what he’s doing is anything but.
America’s Funniest Home Videos (Alfonso Riberio needs to eat this month)
I think this is the best pick among game shows that are not nominees. Thank you for your participation. Johnny, tell him about his parting gift.
.
Jeopardy! The rest are also-rans.
And if you thought the Monty Hall problem started fights…
Is it possible to answer this question correctly?
Yes. It’s C.
Since it can’t be B, it’s either 25% or 50%.
Or, your chance is 1 in 4, or 25%. Since there’s two of those options, your odds are doubled to 50%.
Stole this:
No, it is not. We can prove this by contradiction. If we suppose B to be the correct answer, we find that we would have a 25% chance, which contradicts our assumption that the probability would be 0%. If we suppose C to be correct, we again find a 25% chance, contradicting our assumption of 50% again. If we suppose either A or D is correct, then they both must be correct, so we find the probability to be 50% which again contradicts our 25%.
Since we’ve proven none of the answers can be true by themselves, we can conclude there is no correct answer to the question.
Edit: Well it might seem that because I end up with 0 correct answers that would make B the correct answer, this is not true because if B was correct, the probability must be at least 25%, which contradicts B being correct.
Edit 2: Okay, some of the replies have me doubting this explanation. They point out that when we eliminate all the other possible answers, the probability becomes 0%, making B correct. I believe what’s really happening here is a paradox where B can’t be resolved to either true or false. So, to say all of the answers are incorrect is wrong.
The answer is 50%. Here is why:
0% means there is no correct answer so that means B can’t be correct which eliminates it as an option.
A and D are the same answer which means that they can be consolidated to one answer: 25%.
The choices are then only 25% and 50%. That’s a 50% chance (1 in 2), so the answer is C.
You have a 50% chance of drawing a wrong answer (25%), a 25% chance of drawing a wrong answer (50%), and a 25% chance of drawing a wrong answer (0%). So it’s 0%, but that’s wrong too (25%). So it’s an unanswerable question.
The key is that you take away choices. You cannot calculate the odds out of four choices. Eventually you only have two choices.
Drew Carey is not good. The whole damn show is shit now. They gave away a trip to Winnipeg! They are trolling with that one.
Drew Carey hosts like he’s on tranquilizers. I can’t even watch it.
I can’t see Philly falling. Rushing game that good, the 4th down automatic, that’s legit bully stuff.
Then again, Matt Patricia 😬⚡️🌫🌧
He’s cartoonishly incompetent.
But he has a pencil
And is an engineer. Which I’m suuuure he doesn’t mention. Every month.
My ex is an engineer she totally fit the moUld.
Jesus, you married a woman engineer??? That’s the worst of both worlds! You get the emotional part and the rational part and she gets to choose which one she wants to use on you at any given moment!!
🤦
I just told the Dr. Mrs. that she should go ahead and spend the $40 we didn’t spend on bourbon on vacuum accessories.
I am not making this up.
Someone please hug me.
It’s called Stockholm Dyson Syndrome. Seek help.
That’s what I’m doing! Help me!
I’ll just leave this right here…
https://www.liberator.com/womanizer-classic-2-clitoral-stimulator.html
Yes, that’s a vacuum for your clit.
PK: What a country!
Thought he’d cry.
Picking the Eagles as your team out of spite and to make fun of someone is the most Philly/Eagles thing ever.
Truly 🤣
My daughter is in the other room explaining the term “serving cunt” to my wife and I will pay the first one of you to get over here and kill me $100.
Will you explain what it means first?
Yeah, inquiring minds want to know
I assume it’s like a corollary to those sushi platters on top of women.
You’re both wrong. it’s apparently something Gen Z says to indicate you are looking hot and/or fierce.
Since I am not Gen Z I am taking her word for it.
Yes. I’m no longer ashamed to ask my daughter if I hear stuff like that.
If you want to get some payback, use the word ‘thirsty’ as much as you can. Or ‘moist’.
Can you use it in a sentence?
As in, “She’s a right serving cunt!”
Or is it, “You a serving cunt, yo!”
And is it “serving” or “surfing”?
A surfing cunt would be WAY hotter.
This sentence contains the phrase, ‘serving cunt’.
I’ll take “Words Daddy Can’t Unhear” for $2,000, Alex?
I remember the first time I dropped an f-bomb on my dad. He looked like Redd Fox(*Redd Foxx? Red Fox?) having the
“big one”.
I got the stinkeye from my wife-to-be when I blurted out, “Fuck me,” over a pretty heinous rack in a game of Scrabble.
I’M COMING ELIZABETH!
I think the Eagles will be better than 11-6. Unless Hurts gets, um, hurt, I guess, in which case they will likely suck.
This also applies to pretty much every NFL team with a good QB.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cugVzMthSIo&ab_channel=FXNetworks
Shut up, bird.