Your Treasured Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

We’ve been through a lot, you and me and Scott Hansen, haven’t we? But it’s not quite over just yet-a tasty NFC East scuffle is before our very eyebulbs.

To the Game!

Cowboys/Giants:

-Stinking Dallas has had New York’s number recently, having won 11 of the last 12 ‘showdowns’. (hard to call it that when one of the participants has been so inept)

-Waller’s hammy-from everything I’ve read-doesn’t seem to concern coaches and training staff that much. He reported tightness on Friday so was given a break as a precaution. As indicated in training camp, a fair amount of things the Giants want to do on offense depend on him being on the field-not necessarily catching the ball per se but just having the D account for him.

-Look for some hot shots downfield headed towards rookie Jalin Hyatt. He’s a fella with 4.38 speed, the likes of which New York hasn’t seen in quite some time. Though the sample is quite small relative to other qb’s, Dimes is very accurate on throws of 20+ yards.

-Deuce Vaughn, (I shall call him Shrimp Toast) the 5’5″, 173 pound rookie running back on the Cowboys seems to be just the kind of player that will befuddle the Giants D. He’ll follow in the fine tradition of Jason Witten, D-Jax and Boston Scott as a talent that New York has no answer for. I’m not looking forward to the next half decade or so.

-As noted in my Giants preview, the D is going to start two rookies (Banks and Hawkins) as boundary cornerbacks. I’m sure they’ll be fine at some point but at times it’s going to be painful to watch. This scenario is what happens when you have a dearth of talent at one position so it’s somewhat expected.

Do it.

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Spur

Still room on the Dallas Wagon. All are welcome but Iggles

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Plenty of room on the Giants wagon, too, I presume.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I dunno, between Castle Greyskull and the U.S.S.FLAGG it’s getting kinda full.” – Elisha, having loaded up for the epic Central Park crossover battle of ’23.

Brocky

Holy shit this game is still going on?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Does NY know that?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did NY ever know that?

Spur

Dallas shutout a team. Anyone else do that this week>

TheRevanchist

They sign Daniel Jones to a good amount of money to suck, but don’t want to pay Saquon for being 75 percent of their offense. Makes sense. If Toney gets released, I’m sure they will resign him, too, for more than they are willing to pay Saquon.

Sharkbait

We’re a touchdown and missed XP away from a second scorigami today

Horatio Cornblower

I can’t imagine why Dan Quinn came back to Dallas and didn’t get a head coaching job.

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Sharkbait

Never gets old.

Horatio Cornblower

“It’s a bit of a statement from Daniel Jones…” and that statement is “I am a suicidal moron.”

Mr. Ayo

This is on Daboll. No excuse for him to not take Jones out earlier.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh absolutely. Even if the QB is saying otherwise it’s on the coach to tell him to sit down, tonight’s not the night.

Horatio Cornblower

Do the Giants not have a backup QB?

Mr. Ayo

Their ideal outcome is Jones gets permanently hurt so they can move on.

Redshirt

Cris: “You know that reminds me of…”
Mike: “Why don’t you shut up so we can go to commercial?!”

Mr. Ayo

Sounds like a really great point you’re about to make Cris. Why don’t we wait until after the commercial break to give the room for you to really explain it.

Sharkbait

Does Daboll hate Jones? Why the hell is he still in this game?

Horatio Cornblower

I’m sure* they’ll take the hint at that lineman going down and take their biggest investment out of a blowout game, during which it is also absolutely pouring and making the turf even more dangerous.

*I am not at all sure they will do this.

Mr. Ayo

He clearly needs the game reps still.

Mr. Ayo

There’s till 11 minutes left?

Good luck Cooper.

Spur

Dallas wants an early flight home. Baggage checks starts now

Sharkbait

With this weather? Newark is gonna be delayed for hours

Horatio Cornblower

I’m sure the Cowboys have access to the “Rich Guys Don’t Wait” terminal.

Brick Meathook

I live near LAX and pro teams get police escorts for their luxury coach bus convoys all the way from the stadium to the private aircraft parking area, the same place Air Force One parks. Notre Dame gets an escort to their private jet as well.

King Hippo

I’m not sure he’s the Good Hodgins after all

Horatio Cornblower

OK, that’ll do. Pull all the starters now.

Sharkbait

I was just asking why Jones was warming up on the sideline

Horatio Cornblower

Just came back from a walk and had to turn right back around and chase the cows away from the road and all the way back to the woods at the other end of the field. Wet sweaty work herding gigantic animals that have no idea what the hell they’re doing or what is going on.

I feel a lot like the Giants coaching staff right now.

Brick Meathook

You need to photograph all this so I can picture it properly.

Horatio Cornblower

Just tried but got the message “input is too short” and now I feel like Deanna Favre is yelling at me.

JustStopDude

I get Daniel Jones hasn’t looked good this game, but why the fuck so you call a QB run play, deep in the 3rd quarter, behind 33-0, just so he gets hit by three defenders at once?

King Hippo

It’s clearly punishment detail at this point.

Brick Meathook

If it wasn’t for that stupid kicker the score would be 33-6

Spur

If Grandma had balls, she’d be Grandpa

Brick Meathook

If your aunt had balls she’d be your uncle.

King Hippo

I would ask Scotchy how pissed off he is that Saquon is still playing, but I reckon he rage passed out hours ago.

WCS

The homeless population of Ontario is about to reach it’s nadir.

Brick Meathook

It’s a good time to hop that freight train for B.C.

King Hippo

the snows should be starting any minute now, too

Mr. Ayo

I’m playing against him in the Vodka league, and can confirm I am right pissed off about the whole situation.

Spur

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Spur

This is boring. Can the Giants make offer up a punter for sacrifice

Brick Meathook

Hey that’s the Ford Dearborn Assembly plant! I was just there! No photography allowed, or I would have taken better photos than this stupid commercial.

I bought a seat belt there.

King Hippo

Bluebunny must really hate Brian Daboll.

JustStopDude

Dude! At least stand up and acknowledge the crowd.

King Hippo

Bernard Gilkey is in Warsaw at present, watching a “top transfer target” keeper who turns out for Legia. January 2211, if wondering.

Gumbygirl

That Bernard is spry as fuck, isn’t he?

King Hippo

Damn skippy. He could use a good poo, though.

Spur
yeah right

Holy fucking shit it looks like home around here!

JustStopDude

“FORD. We use the most hourly workers. We are that inefficient. It’s also why the body panels don’t always line up”

The Maestro

“Also we probably use drunken baboons to paint our vehicles because the paint starts flaking and rusting less than eighteen months into ownership”

/only made the mistake of buying a Ford ONCE

JustStopDude

Wait. Dak had to be put under to get a tattoo?

That had to be the lamest thing ever.

Mr. Ayo

It’s unlikely true. Especially for nearly 11 hours.

JustStopDude

Are you questioning the truthiness of Chris?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, I need to turn this off. If I wanted to watch height differentiated individuals get abused, I’d move to Connecticut.

Spur

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WCS

Fuckin’ nobility…

Spur

you better follow orders pheasant

WCS

Not the first time, hopefully not the last.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah ya dumb bird!

King Hippo

I am betting we see Cooper Rush after the ad break. Yay or nay?

Mr. Ayo

I was hoping for Trey Lance, but he’s inactive.

King Hippo

I honestly forgot all about that storyline.

WCS

Tua’s back flared up again, and he forgot, too.

Mr. Ayo

We know Hippo. We know.

Gumbygirl

Butthurt?

Spur

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Spur

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Aw…here I was thinking “Pinata Farms” was a TV show that I could watch.

JustStopDude

Wait…the Giants are allowed to get first downs? Since when?!?

Gatoraids

Somehow this game has crossed the unforgivable line of making me not want to take another drink

2Pack

I think these Giants are better.

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Spur

That stadium is empty

The Maestro

THESE GIANTS GUARDS AND TACKLES I CALL THEM THE MAGINOT LINE ‘CAUSE THEY’RE HUGE AND EXPENSIVE BUT CAN’T PROTECT JACK SHIT

Spur

You calling Dallas Uber Allies?

Spur
Spur

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Spur

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ballsofsteelandfury

I found Waldo!

Brick Meathook

Here’s the SR-71 pin. The pilot carried them in the pocket on his space suit leg; after landing he noted them, and then handed them out to the camera crew (5 of us). It says:

Mach = 3.21
Altitude = 80150 (feet)
2/1/96

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LemonJello

Well, fellow fitbawl degenerates, its been fun, but my bed is beckoning me. Let’s do this again tomorrow, say, 8-ish east coast time?

Later, Taters!

Spur
JustStopDude

You wanted me to watch a Temu commercial?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I keep getting those Temu ads while doing Duolingo and it seems very much like the lead actress cannot actually speak English.

JustStopDude

That is what Gwen Stephani looks like now?!?

Isn’t she like 50?

She doesn’t even look human any more.

Spur