Well, I’d rather have it be noisy. The schedulers disagree. though.
Ballsy: Oh, the Colorado Derby will be quite noisy! The Colorado State coach started talking shit about Deion and then he clapped back and, well, I expect there to be a lot of extracurricular activities in this game. Hi! I’m back despite my anal sex joke from last week!
Tennessee (-6) at Florida (7:00, ESPN)
Orange abortion uniforms, everywhere. Florida Men have looked like warmed-over ass so far, but they’ll be up for a rivalry game in The Swamp.
Ballsy: I did not know that drinking mustard was a Tennessee thing. Apparently it is. T for Titties?
Original Recipe Big Love (+8) at Arkansas (7:30, ESPN2)
Here’s the second Moneyline itch of the day – Pig Sooey haven’t impressed, and not sure they will pass this first real test of the season.
Ballsy: My best friend’s wife went to Arkansas and suffers with them every football season. I would make fun of her, but she’s suffered enough.
Pitt (+2.5) at West By God Virginia (7:30, ABC)
I mean, at least these two sides/fanbases hate one another. Viva Hate!
Ballsy: If I’m correct, this is the Gumbygirl/WCS Derby. I could be wrong, though. I do know that WCS really cares about this game, though.
TCU (-7.5) at Houston (8:00, Fox)
This wet noodle is the first daily mention of “Big” Fox. Yeesh, what a slate. Should be some scoring here, at least. See how angry Sonny Dykes is about sparking the “SKO BUFFS” phenomenon.
Ballsy: I like Texas ladies. That accent slays me…
Colorado State (+24) at Colorado (10:00, ESPN)
Hippo is very, very tired of these Pro ‘Rasslin-style “feuds” each week’s coach stages (and yes, I do believe it is 100% staged/scripted) with Coach Prime. They’ll sleepwalk through this one, but if you’re awake…I guess it’s better than staring at the wall.
Ballsy: If you can do a parlay on the OVER and there being a bench-clearing brawl in this game, RUN DON’T WALK to the bookie and bet the kids’ college funds on it.
CSU is far and away the dumbest goddamn team I have ever seen.
I mean…pretty good roughing call to take.
Oh they’re recognizing the obvious targeting. Nevermind.
Shame on Prime if he’s ever practiced this scenario.
Interesting 3D chess to win the toss and take the ball first
Ease the pressure on his boy.
which one?
CSU trying really hard to make it look like a good decision
3 yard dumpoff.
Horatio is shaking his head.
More like, Hate-ratio with this Colorado game.
And Lowratio just broke out the umbrella.
Scrappy CSU needs to dip into the Boise State Fiesta Bowl playbook.
Was that the undefeated season for Boise state where they ran the Statue of Liberty play for the win?
Yeah.
Back when the sport was pure.
Looks like the OVER is still in play (was 63.5)
Holy shit! This game is so fucking good. Colorado is now officially a football state.
*checks clock*
Holy shit guys, it’s PRIME TIME!
There’s a shocker. I mean, who would have thought that backing off would allow Colorado to get the explosive plays they needed that your blitzing defense had stuffed all game, I mean besides a middle-aged guy with no coaching experience who called it five minutes ago?
Football coaches are some of the dumbest and most predictable people of the face of the Earth.
CSU’s defensive coordinator:
Holy fuck, it’s the Simpson’s ‘good ol’ rock gif. Just look it up.
IT’S A COPYCAT LEAGUE!
You really did.
Jimmie Graham Special
Well, I’ll be…
Yep.
https://twitter.com/dril/status/401706725411004416
Did AI write this? I don’t understand this but it has all the ingredient to have me L-ing OL.
AI wasn’t a thing in 2013. Drill was though.
AI should study that. That’s peak humour.
Nothing like a prevent defense to prevent a win. “Hey, let’s quit doing everything that’s given us success so far tonight!”
Especially against a team of guys who “just get them the ball in some space”.
“You gotta get this ball down the field!”
Thanks, Louis Riddick.
There’s a Hippo cheerleader pic if I ever saw one…
Makes sense that Fresno St would be performing this well, getting to leave Fresno and all.
Even if we win against a major team, we will turn around and lose to a D2 team the next week. It’s tradition!
The only question remaining in this game is if there will be a brawl at the end.
Secondhand weed smoke says nah
Wait, there’s going to be a bra in Colorado now?
They’re gonna roll out the dude from Burning Man and finish up the festival.
Man they’re gonna be….getting all high and listening to jam band tunes all night in Boulder between these two fan bases.
I mean, they were gonna do that anyway.
This Colorado Defense I call it my creepy uncle because it’s getting no where close to all these crossing routes.
Yeah, it’s the line that isn’t any good, not ‘Coach Prime’s’ complete and utter inability to adjust to a fucking 3-yard dump pass over the middle that for fuck’s sake I have been pointing out for the last 40 goddamn minutes.
THERE IT IS AGAIN!
#51 gets trucked, the RB picks up the first down easily, and he gets up and puts his fist up indicating fourth down.
🤦
Prime Time, baby!
Arizona State has 7 more turnovers than points.
Luckily it’s a home game so they can comfort themselves with some Mill St skanks.
I don’t think i can get that game.
There should be a law….
FS1 is unavailable in Nevada?
It’s a Mormon thing
One historical note that many environmental activists leave out when they paint you *their* version of American History and, specifically, the details surrounding the hunting and resulting near erradiction of Buffalos in North America.
Those stupid things have big fucking mouths.
If this score hold Sanders is gonna need 3 buses to run over everyone on his team but himself.
No, and I hate it.
CSU has absolutely showed every ability to snatch this defeat from the jaws of victory.
He’s gonna be presented as the new Offensive Consultant at USC by daybreak in Laguna Negal.
That TD was a sweet catch but, just like the catch that the wide-open CSU receiver dropped the play before, was a dump-off over the middle that Colorado has yet to adjust to.
This CSU coach better have something good to say after this.
I am staying up way too late for that, and I bet it’s some bullshit about ‘mutual respect’ and ‘both sides played hard.’
That’s canned.
He should decline to comment.
Colorado did the right thing by settling for the field goal. The only problem is they forgot how to play defense.
You have to know how to do something before you can forget how to do it.
On the one hand I’m not thrilled with CSU’s prevent offense here. On the other hand, strategizing based on the idea that a team coached by Deion Sanders can’t tackle a toddler is probably a pretty sound strategy.
In hindsight, maybe they shouldn’t have let all the players wear sunglasses and hats during the game.
They call that their “Rick Ross Package” because it’s got a shot at succeeding, unlike the Tupac and Biggie packages.
/Is white, over 50, and doesn’t like rap
It shows; those packages would get LOTS of shots at succeeding
How am I supposed to feel about this Libya flood? They were the bad guys in Back to the Future, I belive.
Since then, i haven’t heard much about the place until now.
Libya has water?
Did.
It was more of a transitory situation.
Lauren Boebert didn’t jerk her date off as much as these announcers are jerking off Coach Prime.
His team is down 7 to a team they were favored to beat by 24, and that team has committed a bazillion penalties and turned the ball over multiple times.
Seriously. Don’t let the actual game in front of you change the narrative your marketing department finalized on Wednesday.
9+ minutes and be *very* careful of where you watch it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=6XjUZdoEYs4
Ohtani out for the season, Angels in last place, and motherfuckers are still gonna vote for him for the MVP.
To be clear, Ohtani is a great player, but I’m pretty sure the Angels could finish last without him just as well as they have with him.
Like Judge “first round exit” deserved it last year.
His team made the play-offs. So there’s that.
Boobert porno concept: she and Meon Sanders have to bang to save the University of Colorado, the whole Country, AND the sanctity of movie theater antics! Special guest appearance by a Paul Ruebens hologram.
Electrixxx Boebaloo: Takin’ It To The Sheets
Depending on what was in the cape, there could be a Doobie Brothers joke in there too.
Vape. VAPE. LET ME EDIT WORDPRESS
How do her tits vote?
Lauren Boobert more like it amirite
Much like her performance as a Congresswoman, those aren’t real.
In case you all were too far away this morning, there’s a big big sound from the west of the town…
https://youtu.be/27XRugei364?si=G3BWz47RZ6tUjnkd
That sounds more British than Aussie.
Take your flag and leave, sir
TURN IT UP!
Based on week one’s turd, could the GWS Giants beat the New York Football Giants at American Football?
Seems relevant
https://twitter.com/hannahgais/status/1703082496617779612
Boebert>Palin
I can find better than either in any bar within 20 miles of my house, as long as I don’t mind syphilis and bed bugs. They’re both trash.
Which, to be clear, does not make them unattractive, but as the old adage goes “don’t stick your dick in crazy” and think it’s going to go well.
I’ve ignored that plenty in my life. Explains why I’m still single…
Oh I highly recommend ignoring it well into your mid-20’s. After that there’s a real decline in the “risk v. reward” ration. There’s definitely a Ph.D thesis in there somewhere.
It’s also sound advice for the female gender.
This is true
True, but the documentary titled Nalin’ Plain has a better title than any pun for boebert
Hobos for Bobo?
“Who’s Getting Jerked Off During A Stage Production Of Beetlejuice By Lauren Boebert This Week?”
Eh, let’s workshop that one.
I would do a better job of handling her breasts in public, I guarantee that.
Motorboatbert.
Buttboert
I thought “Nailin’ Plain” was the one with the Elise Stefanik lookalike.
Look, if she was really driven to her knees, that wouldn’t have been a handy in the theater.
I do love that she gets the joke.
Someone explained it to her.
3 times.
Like the number of tries it took her to pass her GED exam.
You assume she passed it.
There are no qualifications for being a Congressman.
Apparently she eventually did. But it took multiple tries. No actual high school diploma.
But at least she married a guy who exposed himself to teen girls at a bowling alley!
Whomst amongst us?
Seriously she passed it???
Talking about the GED, high school graduation equivalency, not like the MCATs or what have you
Yeah, I’m shocked she passed it!
Someone dropped it on the floor and she walked past it, so yes.
https://twitter.com/ArtButSports/status/1703254535190565308
I am going to follow CU until they lose. Then I’m going to be over their bullshit.
Bear down.
“Bison down.”
Gen. Phil Sheridan, probably.
Seriously, thanks for the Civil War stuff Phil, but burn in hell forever for everything afterwards you fucking pile of shit.
Who amongus wouldn’t bang Boebert if not married/ engaged/somethin I don’t know about? She parties and is a young Palin.
Absofuckinglutely. I’d bang her in a second. Literally.
Glad am I am not alone.
“Me too” – L. Boebert
Yeah, definitely. And she’s probably dumb enough to do it.
In a theater, too
The only thing I’m interested in taking Lauren Boebert to a theater for is ‘Our American Cousin’
But other than that Mrs. Cornblower…
She looks like a rat. She’s politician-hot which, to quote Doug Stanhope, is like saying “he’s a good kisser, for a hare-lip”
Right, something ratlike about her, and the second she said anything, there would be not enough beer in the world.
Colorado’s best defense is sitting back and waiting for CSU to do something stupid.
CU fans definitely responding like a school that has never been favored at home before.
It’s a shame that great catch had to come back on the holding penalty. That has to be soul crushing for the kid
That’s why, when given the opportunity, one always elects to perform the throat-slashing taunt.
Victory formation on the opponents 10 is sweet.
CSU is literally running the same play, a dump-off over the middle, over and over, and Colorado hasn’t stopped it yet. It’s almost like Prime is a grandstanding jackoff who can’t actually coach in-game.
It’s pretty weak that he didn’t come in and finish the first quarter up three scores.
All that said, CSU is the most undisciplined team I’ve ever seen. Just absolute
retadipshits all over the field.“Scoring on a slant? I wouldn’t admit that if you waterboarded me!”
-Parcells, B.
The Big Tuna Roll
My takeaway from this CSU/CU action.
CFB is going the way of JVHARDWOOD where we’re going to continue to be annoyed by squads who still pull this shit where they have a squad of good players in a well-coached system competing with our athletic freak star superteams.
Bounce passes and set shots!
The same slow developing short crossing route to a tight end who used to play basketball!
CSU QB needs to learn to fall down and scream in pain the second a defender touches him after he runs out of bounds. Your name is Nicolosi, son, and you’ve got an Italian football heritage to live up to.
That’s the traditional tried and true DFO racist jokes.
It’s like walking down the street in New York around here. Ain’t nothing wrong with that!
If only he had a brother named Shederp it would be like Tyler Perry’s Goofus and Gallant
Shamone.
Damn usually a 6 year old has to get killed for Colorado to get this much attention
Well, that’s half a beer and a computer screen I’ll never get back.
Or a hotel maid raped
Until Boebs puts them on display in less grainy video, I got no use for the place.
Best thing she’s done since I became aware of her.
“DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM???!!!”
A whore?
And she wasn’t even that hot
“I mean, I’d hit it. Literally.”
Some family member, allegedly.
Hey, big brother’s gotta get attention somehow.
Banner this man.
I thought about that but, unlike Al Qaeda, I’m not willing to see Fronk’s comment come down.