“But Wait, There’s More!” Your Next NFL Football Open Thread

Well, not much more with there being only three games on in this window but we’ll watch. I read a wee blurb about The Shield looking to squeeze money out of Spain and/or Brazil for the right to host some games. Does that mean more morning football goodness? I’m not exactly Dr. Who when it comes to time zones.

To The Games!

Panthers/Seahawks:

Is anyone going to watch this blah affair? Hey, welcome to the NFL, kid: Bryce Young is doing that elf on the shelf way too early so it’s Red Rocket Time! Dalton might just be the fella to exploit a Seattle D that is 30th in defending the pass. I’ve seen bigger surprises. Thing is, the Seahawks should be able to get things done on the ground given that Carolina has surrendered 130+ yards for the last two games and the opposing o-line run block win rate is 7th best.

Cowboys/Cards:

Motion to re-name the Cards the Dead Horses because they’re going to be beaten so much this year? Can I see a show of hands? That Dallas D is something-they’re creating negative yard plays at a blistering (and unsustainable) 15.3% rate. Fantasy-wise the Cowboys allow the 3rd-least points to qb’s and the least points to both rb’s and wr’s. DAK! is playing his 100th game today and is the only one of his kind to throw for 150 TD’s and rush for 25, although I’ve the feeling that Patty will as well.

Bears/Chiefs:

Both of these teams had trouble scoring last week but one gets the feeling that Kansas City is going to resolve the issue sooner and with brute force. Eberflus is going to be calling the plays on D now that Alan Williams is spending more time with his health. And if the rumors are correct there will be some time with prison bars and therapists as well. Overthink Much?: Fields is getting sacked on 11.5% of his dropbacks despite the fact that his line gives him the 5th-most time to complete a pass.

Do your thing. Ewww, not that one!

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LemonJello

WHAT THE THUNDERFUCK IS GOING ON WITH MY GOTTDAMMED STARS?!!?? I WILL SKULL-FUCK THAT FAT SUNOVABITCH OF A COACH LIKE ONE OF MY UNDOCUMENTED WHORES! YYEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeHHaAAAAAAAWWwwwwww I AM FUCKIN CRAZZZYYYY!!

fleshwound_NPG

gabbertception 2: electric garbagetimealo

fleshwound_NPG

if i had a nickel for every MLB player that played in seattle and then became a photographer, id have two nickels, which isnt much but odd it happened twice

Spur

sigh

fleshwound_NPG

stfu the packers are a fraudulent af 2-1

LemonJello

Is this the start of The Legend of Black Powder ?

King Hippo

that’s a definite MAYBE

jjfozz

iaryou over 50 and wearing a braelet and you’r ea man, i’m cock punching u

Gatoraids

Back injury in Chicago

fleshwound_NPG

if you had week 4 as when justin fields dies, you win the pool

fleshwound_NPG

likely out week 4, what i meant

we could get charmslinger/peterman on sunday!

jjfozz

i jsut stuck two tequuila shots

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Stuck them where exactly?

fleshwound_NPG

we need to flex broncos/bears to thursday night, wednesday if possible

Spur

No, they need that on Monday night with a live cam on the coaches. Loser leaves town game.

King Hippo

Donks/Bearistocrats! is NEXT WEEK, no less. Get your tickets NOW ppl!!!

Last edited 1 year ago by King Hippo
fleshwound_NPG

earliest tank bowl ever (week 4)

WCS

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LemonJello

So we should call it the Terlit Bowl?

LemonJello

Who will shit on the field more, Donks or Bears?

Brick Meathook

Is a negative score possible? WE’LL FIND OUT

fleshwound_NPG

mmmm that some good vintage gabbertception

fleshwound_NPG

GABBO!

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King Hippo

Bring Us The Flow!

fleshwound_NPG

even the end of the wanny era in chicago wasnt this bad

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How bad will the players only meeting in Chicago/Lake Forest be this week? 2 Alonzo Spellmans short of a Jovan Belcher?

Brick Meathook

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fleshwound_NPG

if new york/rodgers is any indication, kelce/swift is gonna set up for some kinda hubris we all can enjoy

Mr. Ayo

Switfy’s boyfriend just scored.

Spur

Rejoice! Fox has changed to the Dallas game.

Spur

You know Mrs. Mahomes is pissed at all the attention Taylor and Kelce are getting.

Doktor Zymm

After midnight so sleepys time for me, I have a lot of wine to drink tomorrow! Later y’all!

jjfozz

why do i watchh football?ifucking hate it all

Redshirt

They’re pulling away from a game…at halftime?!

jjfozz

while i am a boobb fan, i do giave Taylro swiff a pass, cause geat loges. legs.

jjfozz

Fuck everythin. Well, had a good time with oldest spawn foxx, so that’s all that counts. debating if i whousld wswithc ove rot abouron i’ve a ha ad a LOT of beer.

WCS

There he is.

King Hippo

look, you’re gonna be hungover anyway. Might as well make it count!

jjfozz

mrs. fozz picked us upa nd dropped us off, i think a bourrbon call could be out of bounsz

jjfozz

rich paeople at fooball bames should get pucnhed in he tock. cock we don’t want you here. go back adn shop sky mall you cuntheazs

Redshirt

So before Mahomes did his best Burrow impersonation, I was in the middle of typing, did the Chiefs watch the Fins throw up a 70-spot on the scoreboard and go

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Redshirt

You get a season-crippling QB calf injury and YOU! get a season-crippling QB calf injury!

fleshwound_NPG

the bears finally do something good

they teared a ligament in mahomes?

Redshirt

Ow, shit!

fleshwound_NPG

jawaan taylor line up legally challenge (super impossible)

Gatoraids

Bears going to go with the TayTay induced amnesia for this game

WCS

T-Swift is from the Philly suburbs, and Jason Kelce plays for the Iggles.

Oh, God this IS going to be another single for her.

Last edited 1 year ago by WCS
Redshirt

Time to pull the plug on Fields? I mean after this week, this was his Prove It Game.

Spur

who’s the back up?

Redshirt

Nathan Peterman, though Walter Payton in his current condition may be a better option.

fleshwound_NPG

left too much time for mahomes (after the next bears turnover here in a minute)

King Hippo

America needs a J Peterman 2nd half.

WCS

Uhh…

WCS

You, uh, called that.

fleshwound_NPG

or do it the old fashioned way (incomplete passes)

WCS

Well, the Bears may allow 72 points today.

Spur

can they score 45 by half time so Fox changes to the Dallas game?

King Hippo

Nah, Andy Reid is not missing dinnertime

fleshwound_NPG

a normal off coordinator could do it with these chiefs

nagy is calling the plays. he can only get to about 50-ish

fleshwound_NPG

of course the one throw dj moore gets he drops it

Brick Meathook

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fleshwound_NPG

might have two teams scoring more than 60 today

King Hippo

I did, at least, bench the Donks D/ST in my money league. They went for -4 this week, because of the kick return score. Otherwise, would have been -14 which I think would have been a league record “effort”

Brick Meathook

Taylor Swift is going to eat Kelce alive like a black widow spider. That hick won’t know what hit him.

Spur

She’ll peg him

King Hippo

We’ll have to watch those white pants for ass blood!

TheRevanchist

He can only hope

Redshirt

Don’t worry. Whatever happens, we’ll find out in her next hit single.

WCS

Swifties vs. NFL troglodytes

ThePirateSloth

So I was doing chores all morning and just sat down on the couch to start watching the Seahawks game, decided to check scores of the early game…

LOL Broncos. What in the entire fuck happened? Not that I really care about the Broncos, but lol Broncos.

fleshwound_NPG

give up 70 points? nathaniel hackett would never

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Broncos Country: Let’s Crawl Into a Hole and Die.

King Hippo

I say let Condi coach the rest of the season.

fleshwound_NPG

the team is already committing war crimes on the game of football

LemonJello

That’s fitting after the war crime that was today’s game.

LemonJello

Broncos Country: Curl Into a Ball and Cry!

Spur

oh, the black kitties acting frisky today.

Spur

Rico Suave