Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your host John Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe say like a mix between John Fecal, Jack Handey, Balls’ 25 questions, Rev’s take on Larry King, and I don’t know, my own fucked up mind? With that backdrop I present to you the twenty-third edition of a potentially sporadically recurring irregularly scheduled Random Thoughts with BFC! Now also (occasionally) in open thread form! If you want to make this interactive, drop a note/question/bon mot in the comments ala my old Mouth Flies Open attempt at an advice column.
- In our last installment, I referenced being sick. Like any good Jew, that meant some matzo ball soup coming into the house, aka Jewish penicillin . Unfortunately, this particular order came with an overwhelming amount of dill People, we need to push back on the scourge of excessive dill, especially but not only in soups. It can add a little something in small doses, but if it’s even close to a dominant flavor, then it’s too much fucking dill. This place had dill IN the balls in addition to flooding the stock with it. For shame.
- Now that Queen Elizabeth is dead and Charles is on the throne, is the phrase now “speak the King’s English”?
- As long as I’m spending like a third of these posts on travel ridiculousness, let’s talk about PK’s favorite form of travel. No one does delay notifications like Amtrak. Lady BFC and I were like 40 minutes into a trip to NYC when we got the text notification that our train was late. Not that it would be late, not an update on what time we’d arrive, but a notification that we were already delayed by 35 minutes entering into the station we had just left. Unreal.
- I popped into an art museum the other day and this older docent said to me “thank you for coming in, and I know you stop by a lot.” I hadn’t been to that museum in about 6 years, and this is not the first time this happened. By a long shot. Either I have a doppelganger running around town (again? I guess I’ll need to share my doppelganger story at some point) or I have a penchant for running into/promoting conversation with senile people. Or I guess I “have one of those faces” or whatever trite bullshit people say.
- There’s an old interview with Donald Glover that I love and reread recently, and my favorite part might be when he shares his views on Hansel and Gretl:
“The witch’s whole conceit for getting the children trapped is so elaborate it’s funny: you build a house made of sweets, then lure them to it, then promise them soft beds and warm baths. There’s better, more efficient ways to steal kids!”
- You’ll note I’ve made it this far without talking about the Bears continued shame. The way they played was godawful, but the really embarrassing part was reinserting Justin Fields after he got knocked to the head. He was visibly fucked, the team was losing by what, 38, and it felt very RGIII-y. Props to DJ Moore for being the only one who seemed to give a shit. Maybe the TD pass helps with his confidence, but odds are he doesn’t remember it, and the whole team sucked. Jeopardizing (further) his noggin was completely inexcusable. And covering the spread wasn’t in play anyway.
- Kidding about the gambling part but I am seeing a surge of social media posts on “Vegas phone calls” explaining bizarre fourth quarter football decisions.
- Speaking of, that 4th down pass to AJ Brown totally fucked me Monday night. Not a bizarre decision, just infuriating.
- If you’re looking for something to do this morning, RTD reminded the back office that there’s a rugby match starting imminently, allegedly at 1045 DFO time. If you’re looking for insight on Uruguay vs Namibia, you’re looking in the wrong place.
- Also if you’re looking for something to do, shameless plug for reading my Aussie BOTG series from the past month. 9/10 DFOers recommend it. The other is now locked in the trunk of my car.
- Or do what I did the other day and go to s museum. It’s good for the soul.
- Alright, content monster is tided over til tonight, let’s wrap it up with a fill in the blank. “With fall upon us, what I’m most excited about is _________________.”
If you had to pick Trestman, Fox, Nagy, or Eberflus to properly purchase 15 items on shopping list at your local Jewel (or “Jewels” per proper Chicagoland nomenclature), who would you pick?
I see no fault in any of this logic.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwSXdX3OOnF/?igshid=MmU2YjMzNjRlOQ==
Ok, officially sick of Cassidy Hutchinson. We’ve heard all we need from her, now go back to whatever McMansion you grew up in and lets the grownups deal with this.
By the way, why didn’t anyone here tell me that the Mickey Mouse cup games (EFL Cup) are on at the moment?! I mean while I like seeing Scotchy’s Canadian rants (that luckily don’t include a guest appearance by someone he’ll have to extra apologize later) or Brick’s memories of serving in steel, dry (unlike the Brtis’ ) submerging masturbatorium… I could’ve spent valuable minutes in getting some bets in (with better odds than the in-play’s) 😛
I broil salmon with olive oil, lemon, and dill (chef’s kiss). That’s my only need for dill.
ALSO: I loved Donald Glover in Lethal Weapon. It’s too bad he crashed that Ferrari in Malibu and ruined his career.
Tzatziki and deviled eggs are both well suited to dill. Greek yogurt marinades with garlic, dill, lemon and spice blend of choice is pretty fucking dynamite too.
Or “tarator” (a quick and tasty summer.. thing from the old country) – diced gherkins/cucumbers + yoghurt + water (so it’s a bit closer to soup in consistency). Season with salt, dill and garlic (minced or if lazy – granulated) to taste.
Ah, and another quick and suprisingly tasty thing with dill: Microwaved potatoes – just dice some potatoes, add butter and a bit of water in microwaveable container (preferably glass and prefereably with a lid). Give it a full blast for 5 minutes, stir a bit with a spoon, 5 more minutes of full-bore what your laptop’s wifi does to your groin (according to the tinfoil hat brigade), add a bit of salt and dill, some diced (or granulated) garlic and give it a final 5-ish minutes. Goes well with some frankfurters or sausages (the ready to eat ones, ie smoked or soiled), split lengthwise, with a bit of cheese (ie Dubliner), butter and garlic and put for 60-90 seconds in the microwave (on full blast).
…And that was student cooking, Eastern European-style. Now, we’re back to our scheduled programming 😀
I’m a bit concerned about your soiled sausages, but I like potatoes with lemon and dill.
“boiled”.. I am kinda curious what typo did I make that despite auto-correct being supposedly context-aware these days it went with “soiled” 😀
With you on the dill thing. Alison Roman is an NYT food writer and also has a YT channel. She puts dill in everything which is fine because it’s a personal preference but don’t tell me that your chickpea stew is a balanced dish flavor-wise because it’s simply not true.
/sorry about incredible Canadian rant
Good boy!
Show me who he’s bit that didn’t deserve it.
He has the taste for human flesh.
RIP, Brooks…
“…there were also some guys who had played big-league ball recently and still looked capable of hitting a baseball all the way through a human body. I expressed concern about this to one of my teammates, the great Orioles third baseman Brooks Robinson, who gave me some reassuring advice:
“Don’t play in the infield,” he said. “You’ll get killed.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/magazine/2000/03/12/rough-diamond/02812ad0-f429-45c2-9636-8b38ec43b1d4/
Man, playing shortstop or third base in slow-pitch work softball leagues SUCKED. Guys would just tee off on those meatballs and with those shit fields you were guaranteed that at least one ground ball per game would take a bad kick and make a beeline straight for your face.
With fall upon us, I am most excited about Oktoberfest.
Either Bears or Broncos fans will get a win this weekend… I guarantee it!
/ ESPN NFL update Sunday 1 October 4:30 Pm EST… Denver and Chicago tie… 13-13.
(Bears-Broncos play to a zero-zero tie, and no one will accept a guarantee from 2Pack ever again)
Is that a scorigami?
It has been foretold
That is worth a reuse of this one.
I kinda Blair Witch’d your comment. Sourry.
That’s what we’re here for.
As punishment, I will spend the next month in Tuscany drinking various wines and sitting on various balconies.
Please send business or first class ticket.
Nah, there’s no way in a million years that both of those teams get through an entire game without coughing up a ludicrously incompetent turnover while inside their own 30-yard line.
so a 2-2 tie?
I was thinking 4-4, but yeah.
Full power outage at work. This is special.
The Government Shutdown 2023 has begun!
Shut it down. I have a metric ton of shit to do around the house.
New employee said that when the lights went out.
He’ll fit in fine here.
I know where you can score a cheap set of night vision goggles.
Outstanding post, BFC.
“With fall upon us, what I’m most excited about is _________________.”
Having it be on me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf6vCjtaV1k&ab_channel=REMVEVO
It’s cliché, but “apple pie”.
Something along the same lines, using the oven to slow roast things.
Yes, this. I also want chili. And for my electric bill to be under 500 bucks.
I definitely appreciate not running the AC 24/7.
Discussing the utility bill in the Spam household (artist’s conception):
THIS RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY I CALL HIM COOLIO BECAUSE HE’S STILL TRYING TO GET A PIECE OF THAT APPLE PIE!
Oh we’re hocking old posts?
I was in Tucson last weekend and stayed at a foothills resort where a gala was being held. There is a hill that obstructed my view of east-central to west Tucson so it was beautiful. Even when we went to have lunch near the university, it’s a 15min drive to Tucson proper and, when you get there, it’s east Tucson (arguably Best Tucson).
To find out more about why Tucson would have been a poor host to the Non-Oakland Raiders (this was before they cut the deal to play in O.Co through the 2019 season, I suggest reading the six-part Tucson series.
I don’t think a week goes by that I don’t hock one of my old posts.
I don’t know. I only read mine and BFC’s stuff.
“Yeah, they’re my favorite, uh, writers (?) too!”
-Lea Michelle
Btw, a quick PSA – don’t mix drinking with Marines and kamikaze karaoke. You’ll regret it in the morning
I spent six months in Afghanistan attached to the Marines. They had this smallman LtCol who, despite all his obvious failures as a leader because he’s from the Mike Flynn Generation of Military Patriots Slash Assholes Who Just Stick Around Long Enough To Run Things(1), the craziest thing — even beyond the way he always stood with his little feet together like a doll — was that he had this combover that, if I had to image him sitting down to the barber, is explained as, “I’m a marine cut it fucking short….except for a line right here on my part, let that shit grow. I’m gonna fool some people.”
It was Pettine or Pettit or something. I should look him up; he’s probably consulting for Wagner Group at southern evangelical conventions now.
(1) Unless I missed the memo and we won Afghanistan thanks to our competent Baby Boomer leadership.
That’s the issue with modern militaries (including the Russians, before they started learning from their fuckups and began dumping incompetent officers) – the negative selection that went on for decades, where the best and brightest sodded off as soon as they realized that unless it takes a miracle, the Encino Man’s and Captain America’s will get promoted, while they get fucked over by the assorted Green weenies. As for that twat you mention, it’s unlikely for him to’ve landed at Wagner (since they used to mostly hire ex-RA/SA proven combat troops and from what we’ve heard, with actual performance with the WG determining promotions, which tends to weed out the dead weight early on). Now, I can see someone like that finding gainful employment with the likes of whatever Blackwater’s calling themselves this week, or potentially as a consultant to the Ukries, which seem to be hiring (using taxpayer dollars and euros) the dumbest motherfuckers they can find to “compensate” the destruction of the already understrength pool of platoon and company officers (the batallion staff’s at least 25km away from the “fun”, while brigade and up are banging broads in Kiev and Odessa) in their increasingly more insane attempts to achieve something to show that can pass for a success in their “grand counter-offensive” (since taking 3 months to fight their way through the advanced screen of the Russian defensive line sure as shit doesn’t count as one). I wonder if one of the Annapolis/West Point/Sandhurst muppets we’ve got “helping” will finally get to convince the Ukries to try and cross the Dnepr a try as a way to break the stalemate (since I’m morbidly curious how well their gaggle of assorted amphibious vehicles can handle a river crossing against a determined and prepared enemy position).
1) The Marines would guard our weapons station before they were taken to the tender and mated with the Trident rockets that were loaded onto our boat.
2) After all our weapons and stores had been loaded, the vaunted Navy Seals would come alongside in their mike boat and use a hydraulic buffer to scrub all the Georgia marine growth off the hull. We would stand on the missile deck and point out the spots they missed and question their masculinity. If they were to easily climb onto the missile deck and try to get us (instead of properly asking permission to board to the OOD) they would have been shot dead because we were loaded with strategic assets. Then we’d go out on a 40-50 day patrol, submerged, independent, and radio-silent.
3) It’s all a team, but we got paid more and submarines have their own movie genre plus a Beatles song/album/movie franchise.
… and yet, all of 3 (even The Crimson Tide) is somewhat negated by
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7TsBTRWEFs
The submarine service owns every aspect of cultural media; here, there, and everywhere. We won World War II and the Cold War (the only two wars that count). We always appreciated what the lesser services did, holding the line until we finished our coffee and doughnuts and dancing and then proceeded on with the real effective killing.
I was totally expecting some sort of Lowatio joke there, but I guess that would be like 9.5 or something
With fall upon us, what I’m most excited about is not having to cut the lawn every week
Uhh, isn’t a lawn-mowing robot an option for you (either because the size of the lawn or .. “other factors”)?
I’m too cheap to get a lawn robot or some kind of riding mower and the lawn isn’t quite big enough to justify anything more
It’s not cheap, it’s “price conscious” 🙂 And yeah, I assumed there was a sensible reason with not going with something (hence me asking), as going with a robo-mower becomes hilariously expensive when you realize that the say 30 minutes of work it saves you aren’t exactly enough to offset your initial 700-1000$ investment. Luckily, my place in Dublin’s perfectly sized for a battery-powered push mower, while the one in Sweden’s not only more than big enough for a riding mower, but my father-in-law that lives next door and loves playing with his Husqvarna so I can enjoy freshly cut for free (though a keg of cider as a thank you is always appreciated)
have an electric push mower now as when the last one died the battery ones were really expensive and didn’t last enough to cut my lawn (about an hour to cut it) before needing to be charged. So, when this one dies in a few years, I’ll get a battery one.
and I’ll chip in with the keg of cider if your FIL wants to cut mine as well.
When it comes to it, try and see if someone manufactures a decent lawnmower using the same battery as your cordless tools (in my case Makita), since that way you can reuse stuff you’ve already bought or in the case of my mower – add to the pool of already available chargers and batteries as another couple of 18V ‘s is always useful
We’re starting like major remodeling in January (moving out the house for a weeks kind of thing). We’re also gone over Christmas. It’s going to be a quick race to the end of the year.
My wife let me know this morning that she set up the landscape guy to winter seed (which includes running a ton of water) the grass on the property. I explained, pointing out the above, that we’re going to get to enjoy the lawn for all of three weeks so, instead, just let it go dormant as this fall (high is 104 today) settles in.
Guess what I’m saying is, I’m very excited to find out what seed type we will be putting down this year!
I’ve been looking into stuff that’s native to here instead of a normal lawn, as it’s going to last better without water and not need as much cutting. But I guess in AZ that’s basically sand and rocks, so not sure you can do something like that.
… Excessive dill? Blasphemy like that is why the Bears are … the Bears. It’s your god’s (Brian Urlacher?) way of teaching you the error of your ways. Also, I hope yer getting better though.
Also, belated happy birthday gumbygirl! I wish you good health, Gamblor to ever be in your favour and gumby to make all your PG-13 (and NC-17.. heh) wishes come true
Nonce
Thank you! I had a nice birthday, and I got some great news from an old friend. Life is good!