Sexy Friday – 20230929

TGIF! Who’s ready for another weekend crossover edition of Swifty and the NFL? Well, it’s happening anyway, so brace yourselves.

Survival – Personal Edition

Today’s situation is you’ve irresponsibly wandered out in nature and forgot to bring your compass. All is not lost! Note that the first two methods are Northern Hemisphere only.

  1. Stick and Shadow Method
    • This requires an analog watch set to the correct time. Also, this method is way less accurate the closer you are to the equator given the reliance on the shadow.
    • As the title of the method portends, you’ll need a stick. Find a straight stick about 6 inches in length. (No offense, D. Favre) Plant that stick in the ground vertically.
    • Now take that super awesome and accurate watch of yours, and lay it on the ground. Orient it so that the hour hand is parallel to the shadow from the stick.
    • Locate the point on the dial midway between the hour hand and 12 o’clock. If it’s DST and your watch is set to that, then you want the midway between the hour hand and 1 o’clock.
    • The line between that point and the center of the dial is the north/south line.
    • You may be astute enough to wonder, then, which way is north and which way is south. If you’re in the Northern Hemisphere, whichever end has the sun is south. In the Southern Hemisphere, the sun side is north.
  2. Star Method
    • This requires a clear sky, obviously. And a basic understanding of constellations.
    • Northern Hemisphere only requires locating the North Star, which is the last star in the handle of the Little Dipper.
    • When you’re walking towards the North Star, you are heading, surprise, north.
    • If you can only make out the Big Dipper, you’re still in luck. The two stars at the end of the Big Dipper’s bowl point to the North Star. Estimate the distance between those two stars, multiple by five, and the North Star is that far from the last star.
    • Southern Hemisphere uses the Southern Cross constellation. Seeing a pattern in the naming convention, here?
    • The Souther Cross is four four bright stars in the shape of a cross and tilted to one side.
    • Assess the long axis of the cross and multiply its length by five. Use your fingers or make markings on a stick.
    • Add that length to the bottom of the long axis and that’s due south. To assist in navigation, draw a line straight down to the horizon to find a visual landmark.
  3. Cloud Method
    • This requires clouds and wind.
    • Watch the direction the clouds are moving. That movement is generally west to east.
    • If you are in mountain areas, this can be very unreliable.
  4. Moss Method
    • This requires moss. And is the preferred method here in the PNW when in the mountains.
    • Find trees with that have moss on only one side of the trunk. If moss is on more than one side, it’s of no help.
    • When you do, that moss is on the north side of the tree.

And now you’ve at least figured out which direction is which. Hopefully you know where you are and where you want to go as well. Good luck!

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Mr. Ayo
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Brick Meathook

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Gumbygirl

What the hell is this, Ozzy Abba?

Gumbygirl

Downunder With People?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck, this game is tight but I think I’m too tired to keep watching tonight….

Gumbygirl

Gumby and I just celebrated our birthdays at Melvyn’s in Palm Springs. It was great, old school in the best way. Waiters firing up Steak Diane, Cherries Jubilee, Bananas Foster tableside. Completely shitfaced old guys belting out Frank Sinatra tunes along with the lounge singer. A beautifully dressed old broad pitching backwards off her barstool ( not me) many, many sugar babies and their daddies. Lots of fake tits and some truly scary facelifts. I loved it!

yeah right

How was the Steak Diane?

I gots to know.

Gumbygirl

Sooooooo good! I had escargot to start, super garlicky and a bunch of grilled bread to sop it up. The Steak Diane was two huge medallions, very tender, med rare, and they did the sauce tableside. Shallots garlic, demiglace, pepper,and flambeed with brandy. I love dinner and a show!

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ballsofsteelandfury

That sounds awesome!

Gumbygirl

This is a cool old place. The kind of place that people have been misbehaving in for 100 years. Atmospheric!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As with Supernatural, there are plenty of complaints about the Riverdale finale for those inclined to look for them, but damned if the WB doesn’t do a very fine job of making you feel sentimental when they turn off the lights.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYN9HSmYK_Q

ballsofsteelandfury

This is a good Grand Final so far

Gumbygirl

Just turned it on. Crazy!

yeah right

So I’ve been cooking for about 50 years and I’ve been cooking for y’all motherfuckers about 10.

That roast pork that I had in Portugal humbled me.

Humbled me HARD.

I just may have an idea for Sunday Gravy Season 10.

I really want a pork sandwich.

2Pack

You had us at pork

BrettFavresColonoscopy

WOOOOOOO 2 goals in under a minute for Brisbane!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck that was a good close to the quarter for the pies, but also, fuck them pies.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Collingwood fans can suck it!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sure, they can suck it, but will they?

yeah right

I have a challenge for you all.

Put on your best musical listening device and try not to dance when you listen to this.

I fail every time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JG17jiPdbb0

BrettFavresColonoscopy

WOOOOOOOOOOO

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Come on, Lions, get your shit together

yeah right

Closing in on 3 years before retirement.

I can do that standing on my goddamn head!

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve got 4. Hope everything goes well!

yeah right

You too.

Dude, I found the location in town. It’s right next to the Metro and across from a big grocery store. Plus it’s walking distance to Mercado Balhao.

You can walk to the Douro River in about 14 minutes.

Gumbygirl

That’s what you want, a walkable neighborhood. Close to transit is a bonus!

yeah right

And no vehicle ownership.
Please.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone staying up for the AFL Grand Final?

ballsofsteelandfury

Fuck yeah!

yeah right

Oh shit.

Where can I watch?

I’ll watch the shit out of that.

yeah right

Nice!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Amazing. I’m at a rehearsal dinner that is winding down so I may join in progress during the first quarter.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh dear me. This is going to be one of those nights, isn’t it?

yeah right

I probably should have taken Monday off.

yeah right

Gotta be forthright;

I’m recording this game because I just finished my first full week of work after vacation.

I probably shouldn’t operate heavy machinery.

yeah right

That’s a Dave Niehaus!

2Pack

I waited for someone else to step on the 69 comment threshold. So here we go. Superior advice and action Mr. Ayo, some sweet pokies in there. Lady number 8 wins a date at the beach. Monica is giving me a ride there on the back of her bicycle.

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Brick Meathook

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litre_cola

Connors v Billie Jean King was epic.

Brick Meathook

See how that’s over Los Angeles? No other city could host such an event.

scotchnaut

The ball boy is currently a stain on the 405.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

51-50 is the final score of the afc championship game between the chiefs and the dolphins according to the NFL’s pre-ordained script, ppl forget that

Brick Meathook

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Gumbygirl

That’s cool. I haven’t driven on that road at night, only daytime, but it’s still crazy to be under ginourmous jets. There really is no place like LA.

litre_cola

What did you eat today Litre?

Doritos, Popcorn, and grapes in liquid form.

Sharkbait

Solid effort

blaxabbath

Remember those guys who had to test the sewers to pick up Covid levels?

They’re not picking up Covid after tomorrow.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m having grapes in liquid form right now! It’s not very good, though.

litre_cola

I bought a 20 dollar bottle for when Mrs. Cola slept, and finished it. Was mediocre, nut anywhoo LET’S GO OUT!!!

Gumbygirl

That will make an interesting turd.

scotchnaut

If, as a young child, you never saw some female family members crash their considerable butts together in tune to this tune, well, you haven’t really lived, man. Comma.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFzMs2SN–s&ab_channel=AmherstRecords

scotchnaut
scotchnaut
WCS

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Brick Meathook

Everything is racism. It makes the world go round.

scotchnaut

Tell me about it. I had an orange creamsicle the other day-never felt more like a Nazi.

scotchnaut

Hippie-centric one hit wonder duo Mouth and MacNeal. Look for the part where she breaks his pretend violin and he has to improvise.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBWhvogb3wo&ab_channel=GeertMook

WCS

“Mouthy MacNeal” was Nancy Reagan’s sorority name.

herodotus450

cant tell if this is from some kind of parody period piece.

Gumbygirl

It’s real, sadly. I remember it, na na na na na nana na!

litre_cola

BC Dick’s sister is the best.

“You are going to watch the Cavalry FC game at 3?”

“Of course.”

“Sweet, nap time for me.”

It is 9 degrees C in Calgary and pouring rain. Here? 29 C and fucking to hot for y Can/Scot skin. White wine and Hawaiian Snaxx.

Game Time Decision

Double DOINK!

Redshirt

The Bengals have woken up and have opened up a 14-2 lead on the Rams. Yeah, I can only assume the offensive line gave up a safety, but the two touchdowns have given the Bengals a comfortable cushion as the the Cincinnati Bengals hope to claim Game 2 of the series over the St. Louis Rams and…

Wait… the NFL doesn’t play 3 games series back-to-back-back. And the Rams aren’t in St. Louis anymore.

Wow, this is a lot worse. (Nice to finally show up Reds offense, just when your playoff hopes are in the casket as its being lowered to the ground).

Brick Meathook

If you are speaking of the (secretly already crowned champions) Los Angeles baseball team of the NL West, they are now known as the Danger Dogs. God bless.

King Hippo

#BFIB only remaing goal is to stay at 69 wins

Redshirt

I was hoping for the Reds to win out and for either Arizona or Miami to lose out, so I can see LA and Philadelpha murderdeathkill them in a psychopathic-enduced fan rage, but I’m board with Operation NICE!

Brocky

Alright, I double checked my selections this time

ballsofsteelandfury

Yum!

Sharkbait

I am militantly against all things Christmas before Thanksgiving, but there are some persuasive arguments up there.

2Pack

Is that Avril Laveane in the yellow blazer? If so… Nice boobage gurl.

Brick Meathook

Roman aqueduct, Segovia Spain

This aqueduct is merely stone blocks stacked on top of each other. It has no mortar or cement holding it together, just gravity.

It has stood for about 2000 years.

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scotchnaut
Brick Meathook

I remember when this guy had hit after hit after hit . . .

Brick Meathook

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WCS

This is something Brandon Perna would hock during another Worst Game Ever involving Denver.

King Hippo

we are up to the 12th power!

WCS

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Brick Meathook

Pittsburgh steel furnaces, 1950s

W. Eugene Smith

https://i.postimg.cc/5ySpF2Sc/IMG-0107.webp

Brick Meathook

aww fuck me I can’t edit

Brick Meathook

COMPENSATION:

Railroad tracks, Pittsburgh 1950s, W. Eugene Smith

There is a big shopping center where these tracks used to be, plus a bunch of smokestacks they kept as a monument.

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WCS

Homestead Waterfront the shopping center you referring to?
Sandcastle Waterpark is also right there, so it’s good know the heavy metals from the Mon River are omnipresent.

Brick Meathook

That’s it! That’s the place!

Pittsburgh and Detroit are both really beautiful cities. The difference is Pittsburgh reinvented itself successfully, and Detroit didn’t.

WCS

I disagree to a point. Detroit is trying to reestablish itself.

Michigan as a whole has dived right into the pot growing industry. They want to become East Oregon, and they’re off a solid start.

That tax money SHOULD benefit the Detroit Metro area.

Of course, I’ve been wrong before.

Brick Meathook

Pittsburgh reinvented itself with finance, medical research, and higher education.

Detroit is attempting to reinvent itself with pot. Good luck with that.

Detroit pizza is better than a Pittsburgh sandwich, however, from personal experience. I’ve had both and I’ll stick to this opinion until proven otherwise.

WCS

As far as culinary development and contributions to humanity, Yinzburgh ranks somewhere between “powdered milk” and “stuff you skim off the top of a koi pond.”

Detroit pizza is amazing. Yinzer sammiches are pointless. Anything can be a sandwich if you try enough.

(reignites the Great Sandwich Wars)

Brick Meathook

Don’t forget ketchup

WCS

I don’t trust anyone who puts ketchup in their eggs.

Gumbygirl

I was born in Homestead Hospital. My grandfather was Chief of Staff there. I lived in West Homestead until I started school, then we moved to the boonies, 50 miles away.

King Hippo

Shoulder gal with the ripped jeans is someone I would sell my soul for.

Just kidding, liek Hippo gots a SOUL

Brocky

I know another gal ya would

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WCS

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This may be the greatest image posted on this site in 2023.

Brick Meathook

W. Eugene Smith, self portrait

That’s the furnaces of 1950s Pittsburgh in the background

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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WCS

Balls works for a grocer point-of-sale operation.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s important to carry dimes

Brick Meathook

I know! Cash? He had a dime? He’s got a penny now! (Only in America; Canada pretends that pennies don’t exist)

Brick Meathook

Do you want this car? Ask me about it.

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WCS

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ballsofsteelandfury

Perfect

ballsofsteelandfury

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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WCS

20 days exactly from when I entered the Earth Realm.

Brick Meathook

You missed a lot.

WCS
ballsofsteelandfury

Holy shit you’re young!

scotchnaut

“I remember my first Van Heflin concert.”

-Gumby

WCS

Trying to buy tickets for Van Hagar, saw Van Helsing at the movies instead.

Brick Meathook

I saw Van Halen TWICE in 79-80, with David Lee Roth prancing around, and also I saw Boston about the same era when Sammy Hagar opened for them as a solo act. But the thing I remember most was the wooly mammoths watching us in our crude amphitheater, illuminated only with flaming sticks.

Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival, where I am about to eat my weight in mooncakes.

Except the durian one. Still not up to it yet.

Brick Meathook

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Sharkbait

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Brick Meathook

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ballsofsteelandfury

Excellent work! As always.