Your Post-London Town NFL Football Open Thread

Not gonna lie, I’m going to wing these games. Facts and stats can vamoose!

To The Games!

Fins/Bills:

Contrarians (ya gotta love contrarians. Or do you?) are saying that this is going to be a low-scoring tilt. I say Fie! Aw crap, I remembered a stat. Of the last 9 teams to score 60+ points in a game, all but one lost their next game. Or something like that.

Broncs/Bears:

Oh dear. Two teams in complete disarray and the questions just keep piling up. I’ve the notion that Denver gets right this game but have nothing upon which to base it.

Ravens/Browns:

I’d like for this game to be played in a muddy back alley during a thunderstorm. Why won’t the NFL answer my emails? The Browns D is playing on another level and Baltimore always shows up for division games. First to 3 scores wins?

Steelers/Houston:

I picked Houston to lose because Mike Tomlin. He’s avoided a losing season every single year because he always wins the games he’s supposed to win.

Vikes/Panthers:

So little to chose between here but I’ll take the firepower of Cousins/Jefferson to overcome Minny’s porous defense.

Rams/Colts:

Is Indy the sneakiest good team in the league right now? That’s what Irsay’s bottomless pill bottle is telling anyone willing to listen. They ambushed the Ravens at home in the opener, have a good defense and received more than competent play from their backup QB. Still, I need Kyren to score me some points in fantasy.

Bucs/Saints:

Hey, it’s the New Orleans secondary, also called “The Mike Evans Cematary”. Jameis gets the call for the Saints and he better not get any big ideas in his head because when he does the interceptions flow like spice on Dune.

Commies/Eagles:

Philly should make short work of Washington given how Howell played last week. Four interceptions vs the Bills is the kind of performance that might crack a young qb’s confidence.

Bengals/Titans:

I call the Tennessee D “The Dichotomy” because you can’t run against them but can pass to your heart’s delight. What say you spend your first 4/5 picks next year on cb’s and safeties?

Keep it moving, keep it moving.

 

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blaxabbath

THIS SCOTCHNAUT I CALL HIM KENNETH “BIG CHEESE” CHEESEBRO OPERATING AS THE FIELD COMMUNICATIONS SIGNALER FROM THE COMMAND PLATOON OF THE JANUARY 6TH INSURRECTIONISTS BECAUSE HE’S KEEPING IT MOVING!

Brocky

Bears… do good?

Justin fields… touchdowns?

King Hippo

Someone should check in on Brandon Perna.

Doktor Zymm

I started him in Vodka league and I’m as surprised as anyone by his cromulence

The Maestro

You guys, I’m thinking that the Broncos might really, really stink.

hippofant

Watched Coach Vass analyze the Broncos D on YouTube the other day. He was… very uncomplimentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0zXfacu1DA

King Hippo

I just pointed at the scoreboard and went res ipsa loquitor

blaxabbath

I’d sign on for a non-PIT HC guy for no more than six years. Those dicks are as plentiful as running backs and twice as naive.

Unless I’m wrong.

Last edited 1 year ago by blaxabbath
Brick Meathook

I’ve never smoked cigarettes but my doctor suggested that I take it up because tests showed my nicotine levels were low. So I’m smoking a pack of Camel unfiltereds this morning and I’ve got to admit they taste good and are satisfying. I honestly can’t wait to smoke another pack.

herodotus450

Hmm, not for me I’m afraid, but what about my pregnant wife?

King Hippo

You’ll get that smoker’s cough, call the doctor and demand a Tussionex script. Good weekend fun, that stuff.

blaxabbath

“Then don’t, cool guy!”

-women

Doktor Zymm

The NFL has an amazing marketing opportunity. They need to take all their most rapey and hateable players, stick them all on the same team, and just never call penalties on the teams that play against them

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man do I hope THE NARRATIVE pencils the Chiefs out of the AFC Championship game in favor of a Miami-Buffalo matchup.

King Hippo

Let’s just say that Fatty McGoo’s motivational techniques…are not working in Broncos Country. #Let’sRide (Fatty out of town on a rail)

King Hippo

Could have used that near White-DOWN

The Maestro

Afternoon, miscreants.

Redshirt

Looks like predictions of Burrow’s crippling was off by a week or so.

Doktor Zymm

Gotta get him some frog stem cells. If he doesn’t survive, at least he lasted longer than if he had played for the Bears, Browns, or Redacteds

King Hippo

Tits have the right plan, blitz the fuck out of the QB who can barely walk. Dunno why that eluded RRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! on Monday.

Doktor Zymm

Haven’t you ever watched Rams fight, they only know how to headbutt

King Hippo

I need to up my wildlife YouTube game, yo

Wakezilla

I haven’t done this in a while; I put it in my head that the kickoff for the Dolphins/Bills was Best Coast time, not Christofascist Alberta time. I missed the first 21 points.

How’re we doing?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Seems like there will be plenty more.

King Hippo

Will the majoirty Yinzer crowd in Houston start calling for Bollo del Verdad?

Gatoraids

Dolphins tribute to Al Davis draft fastest guy available strategy finally working

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Even Heyward-Bey wasn’t all that terrible once he escaped the vortex of suck of the Raiders.

Doktor Zymm

This is how it works, there are teams that just destroy players and the faster they can get away the better for them and their career

2Pack

After the first quarter AFN three choices channel surf, settling down with Mia-Buf. NO-TB and Was – Phi are relegated… at least temporarily.

Gatoraids

Havent seen A chain torture people like this since Hellraiser

King Hippo

pinball in WNY

King Hippo

JESUS, DONKS. NO WOO FOAR YOU

Doktor Zymm

So many people watching the rugby despite Portugal being last in the pool

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Probably because God only knows what can happen in this unmitigated disaster of a World Cup for Australia.

Doktor Zymm

LOLphins fan has a Josh Allen TD in his parlay and he was nawt happy with the playcall there

blaxabbath

Can your favorite song just be a part of a song? 2mins+

King Hippo

Are the 500s playoff-bound??

2Pack

Prolly nawt

litre_cola

I thought we were getting the Crab Leg Aficionado not Emo Carr???

King Hippo

Pain is the only way Emo Carr can still feel, so he decided to play through it.

Doktor Zymm

English guy is talking about how he became a Chiefs fan because they were mediocre and unknown and now he’s annoyed that they’re good because he seems like a bandwagon fan, LMFAO

Brick Meathook

Remind him how the British Empire went from really good to mediocre and unknown in one generation.

2Pack

The Browns are a bail out option for him.

Doktor Zymm

LOLphins fan is reading out his bets to his 2-yo kid. The kid has great hair tho

Wakezilla

“Always bwt against your team, son. That way you win either way. Dolphins win, we’re happy and If they lose, at least we get paid.”

Last edited 1 year ago by Wakezilla
litre_cola

I see that Weaselo played A-chain. Well done. I very well could be the worst FF player in history.

Spur

Donks & Bears should trade QB at halftime to maximum the fun

Redshirt

Their defenses would be extra motivated for revenge

Brick Meathook

Today is National Vodka Day.

The your vodka out of the freezer and mix it as you please! No guilt today it’s all good.

King Hippo

Stroud is my QB, so OF FUCKING COURSE

Spur

TD Vodka Drinkers!

Spur

Its’s Wear Pink and Get Scammed by Corporate Charity Month

King Hippo

clap clap clap CLAP!
Din-gle-Berr-y!!
clap clap clap CLAP!

blaxabbath

Do you dfo vegas, KHip?

King Hippo

odds in 10-15% range, travel es muy dificil

litre_cola

SO YOU ARE SAYING THERE’S A CHANCE!!

King Hippo

You’d expect the Commies to be STRONG in Most GlorioUs Red Zone?

blaxabbath

I watched The Imitation Game last night.

Kiera Knightley seems life the kind of woman who, if we had just met, would have totally hit it off together.

King Hippo

Tell her once you go blax, you never go backs!

Redshirt

You can usually tell the celebrities that don’t let the fame go to their heads.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…let the fame go to their heads.

You mean like Brandon Lee?

/but seriously, his talent in martial arts was criminally underutilized in The Crow

King Hippo

Chi**** punts on 4th and 1.5 near midfield. THAT’S GOOD TANK HUSTLE

Last edited 1 year ago by King Hippo
King Hippo

WE CAN HAS SACK WOO

King Hippo

It’s cool enough for long sleeves, so Hippo switched to his mango “Superb Owl 50 Champions” Donks-gear. Surely this shall make all the difference.

Spur

Come on Commies, kick these Iggles in the beak.

Doktor Zymm

I’m with you, but that’s just nawt realistic, birds of prey aren’t big on the power of the State

blaxabbath

I’ve been telling you to get Meghan McCain under control for years!

Brick Meathook

GODDAMN!

The last drag of a good Blood Mary is concentrated Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, celery salt, and crushed Oxycontin pills. Good to the last drop. It’s time to drive on the freeway out to my heavy machinery and operate them while discharging firearms, all in the name of our Savior Jesus H. Christ, maker of Heaven and Earth or something like that. Anyways good times folks.

blaxabbath

Stay white, brother.

Brick Meathook

You bet I will!

King Hippo

The “Enjoy the zen. We’ll be right back” picture on Sunday Ticket for me was fucking DOLPHINS swimming about. Cheeky motherfuckers.

Spur

Morning Folks

Doktor Zymm

It’ll probably empty out more when the rugby is done since Portugal is playing

Doktor Zymm

Got a seat!

King Hippo

You play the DOKTOR card if needs must! A lady gots to git her FITBAW

Doktor Zymm

I’m seated between a Bills fan and a LOLphins fan

King Hippo

You should be the devil on each shoulder, get them all stabby!

Doktor Zymm

My view

IMG_20231001_175049_6.jpg
Doktor Zymm

Walked to the bar with redzone. It is full, like crowd waiting to get in so I’m probably gonna head elsewhere full

Brick Meathook

Germany? Avoid bars with good orators.

Brick Meathook

Like this. It may look fun at first, but trust me you don’t want to be there at the end.

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Nah, I’m in Lisbon, just the last game was on a German channel.

And turns out it’s not as crowded as it looked, got a pint of Sagres and standing with a view of both NFL and rugby

Brick Meathook

I don’t have any Portuguese jokes. Hmm, need to work on that.

King Hippo

Better ask a Spaniard, post haste!

Brick Meathook

Hey I am a Spaniard! I can’t speak a word of Spanish, and after four years of HS/College German I can’t speak a word of that language either.

Doktor Zymm

Gotta Macao some up quick

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Morning. Is everyone saving their energy for the premiere afternoon block?

clint greasewood

The WNBA playoffs?

King Hippo

Heroic RedZone muzak plays, tablet loaded for the Donks/Bearistocrats! Schiesse Bowl. Because I hate myself, you see.

fleshwound_NPG

other than fins/bills and the great tank bowl, this looks like a good week to catch up on napping since i cannot watch either legally (RAMMIT/clots my only legal option). in the afternoon all i got is the insufferabowl (pats/cowboys) and the shitty raidaaahs vs shittier bolts. holy shit the nite cap is gonna be awful with the JESTS

and dirtbaw is a no-go since everything has basically been clinched. bye-week napping it is

King Hippo

Here’s a Fredbird to celebrate Bastard Man Small Bears’ elimination!

comment image?w=1280

Brick Meathook

NLM (No Lives Matter. Welcome to the real world, children)

King Hippo

Black Lives Are No Less Worthy Because We Are All Just Worm Food – maybe harder to market, but 100% accurate

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