Your Very Next NFL Football Open Thread

Ok, so six teams are on bye and yet there are four games in this window. I’ll never see the logic that the NFL schedule-makers follow. Is it because there is none?

To The Games!

Steelers/Rams:

Much has been made of Zach Evans filling in for Kyren Williams but he apparently still hasn’t gotten the hang of pass protection so Royce Freeman might be your guy. (Evans goes off for multiple TD’s) Another long-time coach is trying so solve his team’s lousy offense. Will Tomlin can Canada mid-season, as all good and noble (!) Steelers fans are crying for? That is most unlikely.

Cards/Seahawks:

As expected, Seattle has gotten its defensive shit together, holding Burrow to 185 yards passing and only allowing 3.2 yards per rush, league best. Look for Geno to employ a ton of play-action because he’s one of the best at doing so, having a 75% completion rate on that play. The Cards will be more than accommodating here because they allow completions on this play call at a rate of 72%.

Packers/Broncos:

Three tight ends have scored 20+ fantasy points vs Denver’s most generous D so may I suggest Luke Musgrave (who was a no-nonsense private dick in 1950’s Los Angeles in a previous life) as your streamer on this fair day? The Broncos have the third-best run block win rate but what good is that going to do you when you’re playing from behind all the time? Surtain should have a game though-qb Love has tossed a single TD and five picks in the last two weeks.

Chargers/Chiefs:

Game O’ The Window here. Some guy by the name of Tom Bliss has tried to quantify ‘luck’ for NFL teams and his findings indicate that the Chargers have the most. Funny thing, recall how Zymm said that karma would bite the Vikes ass this year? Yeah, they’re the unluckiest so far. The accepted balderdash is that playing two-high safeties would negate the big play and slow down the passing game overall. Welp, the Chargers play that look the most and you can pass on them to the tune of 319 yards per tilt. Perhaps it needs to be implemented properly? Grab Rashee Rice now while you can-his targets are increasing and it’s not as though he has quality competition wr-wise.

Give it to me, give it to me. That sweet funky stuff.

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Col. Duke LaCross

Evidently I was Logined Out.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s what the LED is for, Duke. Sometimes I wonder why we even gassed you people and implanted them while you were unconscious.

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ThePirateSloth

My regular season ticket buddy is not gonna go to the 49ers/Seahawks Thxgiving night game, they’re spending it family, pft. I thought I might offer it up to the DFO faithful, if any of you fine people would prefer to ditch out on family and go drink at a football game with my dumbass.

Brocky

Dang, if I could travel to and from the west coast in one day

Mr. Ayo

If you’re serious I’ll take you up on that offer.

ThePirateSloth

I am. Seats yours, unless you change your mind.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

RELEASE SOMETHING OTHER THAN KRAKEN

WCS

And don’t call him “Shirley.”

Mr. Ayo

RELEASE THE HOX!

I will not change my mind.

ThePirateSloth

We can meet at McCoys Firehouse before the game. I’m going up for the Browns game next weekend and I’m gonna find out what they are doing for Thxgiving food.

And any other DFOer is welcome to drink with us before/after.

Mr. Ayo

See you there!

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TheRevanchist
Brocky

Down vote just for tiktok

Sorry i had to. It’s the principal

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“The principal? Where?” – Eli Manning, casting about frantically for a place to hide his copy of Maxim magazine

Brocky

Maxim? We all know eli isn’t that brave

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yeah right

The Chargers fan that they keep showing was on one of the local morning news shows after they kept showing her on Monday Night Football.

She seems like a lovely person but she said “Regardless if they finish the season 3 and 12 or 12 and 3 I’m a fan.”

Umm.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS CHARGERS FAN I CALL HER LEA MICHELE BECAUSE SHE APPEARS ON TV A LOT AND IS SEVERLY DEFICIENT IN A SKILL THAT IS TAUGHT DURING ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

Last edited 1 year ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Gumbygirl

Math is hard!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Refs made it clear, the only one allowed to touch Kelce is Taylor

WCS

HIGH END TALENT

STILLERS GAHN TAH SUPERB BOWL

Horatio Cornblower

‘What will Andy Reid send in here?”

I will wager an order of ribs, onion rings on the side, is going to be involved.

Horatio Cornblower

Just got back from very important errands, (taking pretty much the last of the vegetables out of the garden, getting to the liquor store before 5), and WHAT IN THE FUCK WAS GOING ON WITH THE EARLY GAMES!?!?

Brocky

Something Something halloween season

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You mean the Raiders’ Make-A-Wish Foundation where they make a journeyman second-string quarterback look like an All-Pro for a day?

WCS

PRAISE SHANK’LOR IN THE CITY OF ANGELS

King Hippo

Listen to all those RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! supporters in full roar!!

Mr. Ayo

BOBO! What a damn catch.

Gatoraids

Cowher with the Droopy the dog reading of yes its a shoutout

WCS

His coach is incredibly idiotic.

King Hippo

KC had been playing very well on defense this season. Had been.

WCS

Two intentional groundings in the same quarter.

HIGH END TALENT

BugEyedBoo

Pickens just alligator armed that pass.

Mr. Ayo

Great call on Rashee, scotchy.

Beerguyrob

I am still sober enough to post.

(Also, why isn’t it “sobre” for Canadian spelling?”

fleshwound_NPG

first, show me a sober canadian

Gumbygirl

SoUber.

fleshwound_NPG

war
death
wildfires
famine
floods
plagues
pestilence
browns at 4-2

Brocky

So my antenna feed is showing bowling, but the audio is nfl today

There’s a joke here and I just can’t think of it

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Something something don’t put your fingers in the wrong holes?

ArmedandHammered

And if you do, make sure you lubed up before hand.

Beerguyrob

Well, this is awful.

King Hippo

put some RESPEK on Black Powder’s name!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Damn you, Kelley, you Ekeler-vulture

King Hippo

Thing I just wondered – if you intercept the ball in the end zone, run it out and your teammate holds to set up the return…is that a safety, touchback, or ???

Mr. Ayo

10 yard penalty from the hold, Other Hippo

King Hippo

but he holds while STILL IN THE END ZONE

Mr. Ayo

Paging Lowratio! That’s a SAFETY DANCE!

herodotus450

But the hold occurred in the End Zone

Mr. Ayo

I don’t read good. See below. Or above. I don’t know how this thing works.

King Hippo

is ok, we all crunk and/or high

Redshirt

Shot of Taylor Swift. Everyone take a sip of your drink.

Mr. Ayo

I went above and beyond a sip. Sorry to offend.

King Hippo

Sling. That. CHARM!!!

Mr. Ayo

WOO!!!

King Hippo

Christ, I thought Commies/VEP was derpy. Donks/Packers is a whole ‘nother level.

BugEyedBoo

Rams/Steelers says hi.

King Hippo

I always reckon things are going exactly to Coach Epps’ plan

King Hippo

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! showing Hippo the Karma I deserve, for cheering for the P*ts today (Loser pool purposes)

Mr. Ayo

HOX losing today would do me wonders in my survivor pool.

Especially after I survived #ThePauls experience

King Hippo

that’s the 2nd such BS you been gifted IIRC (didn’t you have VEP away to the Qards in Week 2??)

Mr. Ayo

Indeed! I like to live dangerously.

yeah right

I met a couple at the grocery store this morning in their Steelers gear. They were going to the game.
Nice couple.
Bought a bag of chips, a twelve pack of lemonade and a big ass bottle of tequila.

I asked, “You’ve been to this stadium before?”

They had but they were still in the store at 9:00 AM instead of driving to that traffic infested nightmare.

They’re probably still sitting on traffic on the 105.

WCS

3rd and 29 in LA

NFL BLITZ!!

King Hippo

/good to have you back on duty, slacker

//slaps ass

///HARD

WCS

2nd and 30 in LA

NFL BLITZ!

jjfozz

My older sister is the laziest fucking human being in the world.

yeah right

Well, now that my ex wife is dead.

King Hippo

too lazy to even BREATHE? Yeah she has to be the champ

yeah right

When alive they only thing she breathed was cigarette and weed smoke.

/ furiously patting my own back for getting out of that shit

yeah right

That was a perfectly serviceable free pizza.

My tip for reheating day old pizza:
Stove top. Skillet. Low to medium low. Covered. Set a timer for 6-7 minutes and leave it alone until the timer goes off.

This way you get a nice crisp on the crust and the cheese gets melty.

Nice of my favorite pizza joint to save me from cooking on a football Sunday.

litre_cola

Snow warning!!! Winter is here. This is my last Sunday night shift at the resto. After DFOCon I am switching from Fri/Sun to Fri/Sat as that is where the money be.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You’re going to work at a bank?

King Hippo

plus, if you be working 2 jerbs, FFS – at least need to have FITBAW privileges

Redshirt

Just your usual 77 point game.

Mr. Ayo

It’s the Swiftie window! Hooray!

King Hippo

Denver can has…a defensive stop???

Redshirt

Quit clapping, Watson. You didn’t do shit!

jjfozz

What a bullshit PI call in the browns game

King Hippo

Yeah, refs went into the Fat Humps dry

Redshirt

I could make a joke about K.Hunt, that touchdown and a sexual act, but it may be too X-Rated for the mods to accept.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“No no, it’s fine.” – mods

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WCS

Thanks, SHA’NKLOR

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hmmm that had heart, but football to the face had a football to the face.

Gumbygirl

DOINK!!!

Gatoraids

Myles Garrett should be offered asylum

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Only against Cleveland is the Buckner not the one who fucks it up royally

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The refs?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t remember the last time I even considered ordering pizza from Little Caesars.

Then again, I also don’t think about the Roman Empire weekly so maybe I’m an aberration.

jjfozz

Every day I dress up in my centurion outfit and threaten my family with a decimation. NEVER FORGET!

BugEyedBoo

I get it about once every five years, just to remind myself why I shouldn’t.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There was a brief phase in my life when I quite enjoyed Big Macs. Now that it has ended I can still [olfactory equivalent of “visualize”] the taste and it makes my stomach turn. I have no idea what younger Rikki possibly could have been thinking.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I consider it every Tuesday, when they give stuff away via T-mobile. Then the proposition is rejected, soundly.

herodotus450

Everyone should always eat Little Caesars at least once a week

King Hippo

I knew it!! You’re Mike Ilitch!!

jjfozz

Ravens, motherfuckers