Your First NFL Football Open Thread

Hey guys, it’s time to do that thing again and we have a full complement of tilts to do it with. Why does not a single team have a bye at the halfway point of the season? I’ve not a clue.

To The Games!

Pats/Fins:

Hopefully this gets ugly early which would mean New England has to fight from behind which they are ill-equipped to do. One way for Miami to get ahead is to continue to employ screen passes-they’re very effective doing so and guess what, the Pats are the very worst in the league at defending that play. Though the latter is good at playing the run, can they stop a bulldozing Fins squadoo that churns the yards out at 163 on average and 6.3 per?

Jets/Giants:

Dueling dumpster fires it is! (though both are coming off wins) Don’t be surprised if The Mother Lover has another good game because he excels vs man coverage and the Giants swing that way more than only five other teams. Also in the Jets favor is that they get both starting corners back from injury-so take your finger off that Wan’Dale Robinson ‘start’ button. You should play Waller though because the Jets can’t defend the tight end and Darren has cobbled together two good games.

Jags/Steelers:

From the Hard To Believe file: Cal Ridley hasn’t caught a pass over the middle of the field yet this year. Jacksonville has given up nearly 2,000 yards thru the air after seven games-luckily for them, Pickett would be the very last pick were you to be playing flag football in your back yard. Etienne should have a day vs Pitt’s 28th-ranked run D.

Falcons/Titans:

Gah! Both these coaches are stuck in the 80’s and are ranked 25th and 29th in scoring per game so expect this to be the horse-racing equivalent of a ‘mudder’. Expect to see cowardly punts on 4th and short and three yard passes on 3rd and 5. That’s just what Smith and Vrabel do these days. Hopefully the pre-game watercress sandies don’t trigger a Bijan tummy ache or migraine.

Texans/Panthers:

Houston is .500 somehow (maybe it was that ambush of Pitt?) and the passing game is on point. Their Expected Points Added while throwing is .14 but while running it craters to -.12. Stroud has been increasingly sending balls Schultz’s way, including looks in the endzone in three straight affairs. Stream Time!

Rams/Cowboys:

Dallas has a 10-game home winning streak and the Rams are somehow 2-1 on the road with a 3 point loss at Cincy as well. They continue to be a hard out because Puka and Cooper dominate the middle of the field-you can’t stop both of those chain-movers so take your pick. There’s quite a bit to mock McCarthy about but his 11-5 post-bye record is not one of them.

Vikes/Packers:

Oof! Minny has yet to score a rushing TD. Their game hope? (not plan, hope) It’s to score early and often and Green Bay just might capitulate, given that they’ve been outscored 63-6 in the 1st half of their last four games. Rb Jones is out so Dillon gets another chance to prove that he’s not a washed up washerwoman.

Saints/Colts:

Minshew Mania giveth and taketh away-the O has produced a more than respectable 58 points (acceptable) and 8 turnovers. (not) That latter stat needs some serious correcting but can they alter that vs a Saints D that has generated 12 takeaways so far? Will mouthy emo qb Carr call out his wr’s on the field again? No wonder the passing game is suffering. Carr has had back-to-back 50 attempt games. How has that gone? Every qb that has thrown 50+ balls this season (nine of them) has lost.

Eagles/Commies:

Beware the big play-Philly has 29 20+ yard plays and Washington has given up 34 so far. (AJ Browns ears are ringing right now) Will Howell survive the season? He’s been put on the ground 40 times already and as we’ve learned by seeing Dimes get crushed over and over again, the law of averages is going to catch up to him. And if it doesn’t he’ll have been sacked 100+ times by season’s end. AJ has five straight games with 125+ yards-if he gets another he gets the record.

Get out there!