Nut cuttin’ time is here, y’all. Also, I apologize in advance for next week’s stupid international break. Don’t forget to wave at the Clubhouse degenerates who have assembled in Las Vegas!
Mighty Whitey (fresh off a midweek Caribou triumph) get reeling Men Untied (fresh off a home spanking by Geordie Arabia’s B side) to start things off (8:30, USA). I truly think EtH is safe no matter what, but things will get nervy if he can’t at least salvage a Draw here.
Four on the (Peacock) floor in the 11:00 window, including Suddenly Competent(ish) Everton hosting the Trashbirds. USA will show City of Men skullfucking the Cherries, for some unfathomable reason.
Geordie Arabia’s A-side take on the mighty King’s Afrikan Water Pistols in Saturday’s spotlighter (1:30, NBC). Everybody is chasing to keep up with Spurs, who host Chelski on MNF (3p, USA). Don’t bother with Sunday’s nonsense, we gots MANDATORY 14 hours of NFL anyway.
tOhio State (+18.5) at Rutgers (Noon, CBS)
Do I expect the Tree Nutz to stub their toe here? No. But they could at least find tough sledding on the road, against a reasonably good defense. For the record, my favoUrite Carlin one liner? Kiss her where it smells, take her to New Jersey!
Kansas State (+4) at Texas (Noon, Fox)
This is kind of Big Twaaaaalllllve showdown week, as we try to get some separation amongst 1-loss competitors (like these two). The Unded Bill Snyders have come on stroong after a dicey September, while Steerfuckers South are…always vulnerable, if talented. Expect a low-scoring, physical battle.
Texas A&M (+3) at Ole MIss (Noon, ESPN)
This line suggests Bonfire Cult would be a very slight favoUrite over Johnny Reb on a neutral pitch. Which…doesn’t seem accurate to Hippo at all. Not that I want to bet on Lane Kiffin in a spot like this, MOAR that I want to bet against Jimbo Fisher.
Missouri (+15.5) at Georgia (3:30, CBS)
This is the Lucky Pierre of CBS’ rare triple-header. Will we all be cold, cold in the ground before we recognize Missour-ah (as a real SEC contender)? We’ll know after today. I am intrigued to watch it play out, though too bad the game is Between the Hedges. Lowers upset potential considerably.
Oklahoma (-5.5) at Oklahoma State (3:30, ABC)
This is probably the last Bedlam for at least our natural lives, and BDSM State deserves to win it. Especially in Stillwater.
Iowa (-5) at Northwestern (3:30, Peacock)
Some men – and Hippos – just want to watch the world burn.
Over to the NITE THREAD
In the same day, I have successfully cheered for Dabo Swinney and Mike Gundy. Strange bedfellows, yada yada.
Nobody wants to win Bedlam, it would seem.
So…I was craving Indian food, found a new place in northern Virginia. Brick, I shit you not, it’s inside of a VFW hall.
Tell them you know a B. Meathook.
Oklahoma shitting the bed is making me too happy to sleep
They have a kid who went to high school with my kids, and he’s a great guy, and I still want Oklahoma to lose. I hope he gets 4 sacks and a fumble recovery, though.
Would have been nicer had Steerfuckers South ALSO shat the pitch (as almost happened during Hippo’s nap)
Well, didn’t get back in time to enjoy Notre Dame getting the boot up the ass or Wrexham winning their FA Cup first round game.
Maybe it’s nap time until I get to watch Purdue lose this afternoon.
I wonder what would happen if one walked up behind Kirby Smart, and gave them big ol’ titties a squeeze…
You’d get a Georgia State Trooper up yer bunghole instanter.
Brett Venables is going to kill and eat an official before this game is over.
Just got back…
Everyone went to Vegas.
Vegas: the new “running out for a pack of cigarettes”
I’m going build my own casino. With blackjack. And hookers.
In fact, forget the casino.
Georgia up by 4 vs Mizzou-that’s the kind of Zaxby’s-sponsored football I like!
Does Kansas State not have a kicker?
Fox taunting me with the Cowboys-Eagles as the game of the week, knowing full well they’re going to fuck me with the regional Giants-Raiders game.
“Yes, hell. I have procured ladies of the night in the past and have enjoyed it!
I am fucking crazy. I’ve yet to seek help for an obvious condition that results in me making bad decisions. I will win all the games. I’ve not had to answer to anyone in any context, for any reason, for the past three decades.”-Jerrah, as interpreted by John Mara
Arsenal fans are convinced that VAR robbed them of the game against Newcastle, (I had to miss all but the last minute of the second time; they are right that Newcastle should have been a man down in the first half), and have some really enlightened thoughts about Arab money and how it’s affecting the league.
It’s a good look, really.
Guys, help me out here, it’s the end of the fourth quarter but IU has more points, what does that mean?
Scoreboard malfunction, probably.
The other team got lost and never showed up?
.
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
https://www.instagram.com/p/CyiywlVOis9/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
True Fact: If you googled “Ole Miss” back the 1870’s, a bunch of GILF images would appear.
Let’s see how UConn is doing!
Oh. Oh my.
Hey they could rattle off 50 unanswered points in the 4th quarter.
And still lose.
None of this even matters. The real season starts next week, when a healthy Paige Bueckers leads the fightin’ Auriemma’s to their 12th national championship. Not to mention Hurley’s boys defending their national championship. Once again making the Storrs Agricultural School the capital of the basketball world.
This guy gets it.
Rutgers had OSU on their back foot, but couldn’t finish them off.
Just like the strippers at DFOCon last night smh
Buckeye nuts are always hard to bust
I’d put it down to poor technique.
Reasons to cheer for Ole Miss-
-they were a punching bag for the top SEC teams for decades
-fans can temporarily forget they live in Mississippi, sorta
-they’re wearing a uni that is very near the powder blue of the 80’s Chargers
-those same unis have hash marks on the shoulders that old Colts unis had
What’s that helmet design supposed to be? Smurf ejaculate?
Well I’m off to retrieve my car from making the responsible decision of leaving it at my buddy’s house after a night of drinking.
Past me always annoys current/future me.
San Pedro, 11/02/23
This is an amazing shot but I’m not going to +1 it because that annoys you and I’m an asshole.
The shot’s not that amazing. There’s no one even guarding her and she’s maybe at the free throw line.
I wonder how many basketballs are floating around that seawall. Go down there and count them!
Okay monkey’s paw: Rutgers holds on to beat Ohio State, but also notre dame comes back to beat Clemson and wins, and wins the rest of the year finishing 10-2, do you take that deal?
Absolutely! OSU gets embarrassed and Notre Dame will collapse at some point in the playoff because that’s what they do. Btw, they have Wake and Stanford left so it’s going to happen anyway.
No. Fuck that shit.
Uh, Rutgers?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=od5Ddi3R6BE&ab_channel=PSCHighlights
..and still only managed a field goal.
ah did NOT expect to hear Johnny Reb’s marching band play “Bulls on Parade”
Max Johnson’s mom has to be on MILF-Hunter Z’s list
/Rebels score because Texas A&M cb didn’t cover a wr split out wide
Announcer: “Boy, Lane Kiffin always has something up his sleeve, doesn’t he?”
Row 4. Business class. Seated and seat belt fastened.
I really expected MOAR out of the Fightin’ Horatios today, Bowl qualification is at stake!!
There’s still the Pity Bowl, correct?*
*I’m qualified to make this statement because SillyCuse supporter
Christ, that game last night. I left it on, because I hate myself just that much.
“Nut cuttin’ time is here, y’all”
/Lil Bronco crouches with eyes dilating, runs under bed, isn’t seen for 3 days
“That is NOT rockin'” — rockingdog
Not to get all Pollyanna about it because losing still sucks, but it’s nice that West Ham are at least dangerous down a goal late. And that Kudus goal in the first half, and the optimistic lift it provided, made the overall disappointment worth it.
Maupay can still go stick his head in a wood chipper, though.
Thankful I left the sound on JV NFL
Is there a fireworks factory in Vegas?
/asking for a bunch of friends
Exercise caution when returning to your home planet.
Hopefully right next to the petting zoo.
That would be a GREAT name for a furry strip club
It’s not just Hippo on that watchlist now. It takes ALL of us.
I open my microwave and say hello to the NSA every day!
Today we learned music starts on Fremont at 9 am.
Also Armed &Hammered deserves ALL the praise for giving me a bag of edibles as my head is sore. Damn you Amerika.
Minutes later…
Wayne Newton we hope.
Fun read, for squeezing the last iota of hope out of your soul. Also, if you know a student radical (or other miscreant) who’s like HURR DURR ah can’t vote fer Biden because ISRAEL smgdh – please kick them in the dick for Hippo.
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/cafe/trumps-violent-rhetoric-echoes-the-fascist-commitment-to-a-destructive-and-bloody-rebirth-of-society
This is how Karma works when you take THIRTY WHOLE MINUTES of one’s day to walk across the street and vote in your local municipal elections. Plus, like, the 5 minutes I spent googling who to vote for.
Now Lewis Dunk has scored past each keeper today
VAR IS BEAUTIFUL
If he gets into a fight, what’s the footy equivalent of a Gordie Howe Hat Trick?
YES
Wrexham in the FA Cup today. Going into work for a couple of hours to make sure I am back in time to watch.
One of the best things about the UK and Commonwealth Nations poppy day memorials for veterans is it reminds me of when Don Cherry get fired for being a douchebag.
plus is always great to see the poppy celebrated!
Guess I should mosey over and see if anyone needs to be bailed out.
Can we bet on whom?
Pretty confident Dok has diplomatic immunity, so cross her off.
Pretty sure her real job is chasing down members of Spectre.
Smart money is on Litre.
Ask him what wine pairs well with Holloween 3 Musketeers bars for me will you please.
Done.
Gamay with sweet choc.
Dinner plans now complete.
This is a good boredom warmup for Everton at 11.
Napoli plays in an hour. Anybody have the Vegas odds on today’s game?
Nice size 3s!
Boing chicka boing boing…
It’s good to know that the B1G takes sign stealing as seriously as they do systemic sexual abuse and racism.
https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/38810533/former-northwestern-football-players-describe-racist-treatment-early-2000s
Seriously, quadruple fuck this conference with the pineapple that goes up Mussolini’s ass every 30 seconds.
Grand Wizard Kelly can’t wait to join!