Buy Something, Citizen: Your Black Friday NFL Football Open Thread

Good lovin’ I’m so sick of everyone yakking about this day and all the sales and how SPEND! SPEND! SPEND! is the order of the day. Like this consumer-based economy needs a helping hand in late November and you should do your part. Boy, do I ever sound like 1st year university me right now. I’ll shut it.

To The Game!

Fins/Jets:

-The last time these guys played the final was 11-6. No, it doesn’t matter who won, I’d just like to see something more entertaining than that, thank you.

-Boyle Rules! (close enough) Actually, nothing about this 29 yr. old perennial backup ‘rules’ and that includes his farcical 3:9 TD/INT number.

-Speaking of, Jalen Ramsay has 3 picks in the three games since his return, including a duo vs AOC last week. It’s fairly safe to assume he’ll grab another today.

-On t’udder side Sauce vs Hill and Waddle should be watchable. Gardner is a superior talent but hasn’t quite lived up to last year’s level of play.

-Whither Miami RB’s?: Back on the Achane Gang was limited all week in practice and Ahmed was sent to IR recently so I guess it’s Colonel Mostert with the pigskin on the gridiron. And he never gets injured.

-It’s a prime time game (sorta) so be ready for shots of the Fake Spike and Monday Night Miracle games from ancient history.

-Hill needs just one TD to become the first Fin to do double digits since 2014. Anyone remember Mike Wallace? No, the other one.

-A Conversion-Free Team: The Jets are a team that hasn’t seen the light. Or rather, they’re exceptionally lousy at converting third down opportunities. They’re dead last in  the league at 23%, going 0-11 vs the Bills last week. With Boyle behind center I’m sure that number can reach 20%.

Have a good one.

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King Hippo

SEE, everyone in the Canadia <3s the Mapplethorpe Leafs

King Hippo

I mean, this was a guy so bad in college that UCONN ran him off, and RIGHTLY SO

Col. Duke LaCross

Al Michaels openly hates everyone he’s working with.

King Hippo

I knew there was sommet sympatico about that walking corpse

Doktor Zymm

My calendar just told me that today is Native American Heritage Day, so I wanted to drop in and congratulate the NFL for not having the Chiefs play the Redacteds in their old unis today.

King Hippo

we JUST NOW finished celebrating there slaughter smh THANKS WOKE MOB OBAMA

Redshirt

If it wasn’t for the Hail Mary Pick-6, the Jets would actually have a shot at this game.

Redshirt

…and this comment aged as well as Thanksgiving Leftovers.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Apparently it is customary in Ohio to leave Thanksgiving leftovers out in the sun?

Redshirt

In my defense, in Ohio November, the sun becomes theoretical. Its there, but its not really doing anything.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh you mean like the Giants’ offensive line.

Gumbygirl

I’m gonna lay a Hot Taek on yinz, get ready: This game sucks!

Redshirt

This Black Friday Game is perfect! We waited all year just to get a cheap, shitty product the day after Thanksgiving.

King Hippo

Feliz Viernes Negro por los todos y por los todos un noche bueno!

Gatoraids

twist is people will be killing each other in a rush to leave the stadium

Senor Weaselo

No, that was American Dream this morning.

Redshirt

One of the most memorable conversations I’ve had was with a knowledgeable, eloquent, learned person who turned into a rapid lunatic as soon as the buzzer hit at Wal-Mart on Black Friday.

Senor Weaselo

Made a funny:

If I had a nickel for every time a play happened that could truly be considered Jetsian, in a Thanksgiving weekend game, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

Gatoraids

Tim Boyle a bigger fan of turnovers than Susan.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

LOLJETS

Redshirt

This 2023 NFL Season should be called the Season of Paris because Achillies are falling left and right!

Redshirt

I’m starting to suspect that Zach Wilson wasn’t the problem.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean he was certainly a problem.

Last edited 11 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Doktor Zymm

Indeed. Very bold to assert the Jets only had ONE problem

clint greasewood

Come on Jete. Just 7 field goals and you’re back in this thing

King Hippo

CBS announcer just said “you gotta ride the horse that brought you to the dance, dawg”

Senor Weaselo

News coming over the wire that the father or robot combat, the creator of Robot Wars, Marc Thorpe, passed away. Without him, the entire sport quite literally does not exist.

Doktor Zymm

He perished in the severe lugnut shortage that followed the signing of the Robot Treaty of Versailles

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I am concerned that a reliance on Ubers the next two weeks is going to fuck me in the LDB challenge.

King Hippo

Just explain to the driver this is a Yuletide tradition with your imaginary friends. I’m sure he/she will understand.

(also that you are a Jew, and Xmas music turns you into a pillar of salt)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Text them “No Christmas music please” while they’re on approach and you should be fine.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’d probably go with Herbert, and everyone should do the opposite of me lately. I’m getting fucked six ways from Sunday this week.

King Hippo

I was drawing ded from yesterday (down 89-14) and that was before this FABULOUS Breece Hall performance.

Senor Weaselo

Which is amazing considering how low it already was! If only it were also 3rd down!

Doktor Zymm

That’s consistent with Boyle’s law of ideal passes

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I almost wish I was having a bad day just so that play could turn my frown upside down.

clint greasewood

Reverse Hail Mary? Surely you Jest

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That has got to be the most JETS thing I have seen in my entire life.

Gatoraids

The Immaculate Abortion

King Hippo

anytime a fetus is saved from being born into Jest fandom

Fronkenshteen

*chef’s kiss*

Dunstan

LOL JETS

Mr. Ayo

J-E-S-T! JEST! JEST! JEST!

King Hippo

I was literally coming here (PHRASING) to say just that.

Gatoraids

Infinite Jest

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

SUDDEN CHANGE!

/and then of course the Jets miss the extra point

Dunstan

Goddamn it, the only way the Jets can score, and we give it to them.

clint greasewood

Sudden Change

Gumbygirl

That’s a fucking bite.

WCS

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Has anyone seen sharkbait?

Game Time Decision

mmmmmmm
-Mike T.

King Hippo

I wonder if my long-ded-but-likely-still-RAYCESS grandfather would have watched the Spanish version of the Amazon broadcast, just to hear them say “negro” about 20 times.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m watching that broadcast and they are actually saying “Black Friday” and not “Viernes Negro”. Or at least not that I’ve noticed.

King Hippo

OK, Boyle really IS worse than MILF-Hunter Z. I want to see how Monkey Trev is somehow even worse than THIS.

King Hippo

Speaking of perfect games, lookit the niiiiiccccceee showing by Steerfuckers North!

Horatio Cornblower

Jack Edwards just basically refused to acknowledge Detroit’s empty-netter, leaving it to the color guy.

Horatio Cornblower

Why are the Bruins wearing road unis at home?

TheRevanchist

Laundry day

Sharkbait

Come on Hockey Gods, give me a Shesterkin goal please

Senor Weaselo

Game, blouses.

Senor Weaselo

Why would you not have taken the points in the first place? This game could have been over after that field goal!

Sharkbait

INSURMOUNTABLE LEAD

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

From the look of it Miami was playing for the elusive 2-0 perfect game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That incomplete pass was the right call, but it was also the least funny thing that could have happened, so I’m going to have to give it a thumbs down.

herodotus450

In case you were wondering, yes, the Boston Bruins are playing like crybaby pieces of shit while losing in the third period. The institution of on-ice player Captains is forever tainted by their choice of captain this year.

Dunstan

NAWT FAY-UH!

Horatio Cornblower

As long as Jack Edwards is unhappy, I’m happy.

Senor Weaselo
  1. Good
  2. Fuck ’em.
Gatoraids

Tua getting scrambling tips from Dan Marino

Dunstan

Dan’s alerting him to Black Friday shopping deals on Isotoner gloves

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wonder if Marino felt betrayed that O.J. used a different brand.

King Hippo

The clock management in IA/NE is just amazingly bad. A true Shit Mona Lisa by both.

TheRevanchist

Iowa having a 10-2 record is the most amazing thing to see. Im not even mad.

King Hippo

A true testament to the soon-to-be-dearly-departed B1G West.

Horatio Cornblower

I thought RTD was kidding about the Jets playing earlier.

Whatever, UConn’s playing basketball against some overwhelmed team from “Manhattan,” as if that’s a real place.

Dunstan

Jets win the challenge, but I don’t really understand the logic in using a challenge on a five-yard gain on 1st and 10

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Two penalties and an interminable challenge in the first fifteen minutes, this game is off to a great start!

Sharkbait

Do I go to the store and get the stuff to make turkey stock today? Or be lazy and push it to tomorrow?

Horatio Cornblower

You look pretty jet-lagged to me. I’d recommend putting your feet up and watching TV for one more day.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It feels like a soup day around here, even though it’s 70° and sunny. Maybe that’s just because I’m hungover and need fluids.

Dunstan

Got to make a big soup decision today: noodles or wild rice?

Gumbygirl

Wild rice.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
King Hippo

Don’t forget Gromit!

Dunstan

I can’t make up my mind whether to be annoyed at the way late-career Al Michaels phones it in, or have a begrudging admiration for it.

BugEyedBoo

Serve with leftover turkey sandwich.

(I actually like these)

PXL_20231124_165146132.jpg
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Same in America.

herodotus450

We tried to give you people Olestra chips and you went and FUCKED it up!

Gumbygirl

Aren’t those the ones that made you shit grease? No thanks!

Sharkbait

I forgot there was football today. I’m engrossed in Ice Giants vs. Ice Iggles

Senor Weaselo

I’m intrigued they started Igor today on the front end of the back-to-back, but I’m guessing the divisional game tops the top 2 teams in the East in the importance order.