Can you believe it’s week 13 already? What will these games give us? More excitement and shenanigans? My Magic 8 Ball says, “Why are you shaking me? What did I do?” Stupid ball.
Tidbits:
-Zack Ertz is moving on from Arizona, looking to hitch a ride with a playoff team that could maybe get to the Super Bowl. Not sure that he’s the missing piece that Philly, San Fran, K.C., Dallas or whatever are looking for but a man can dream.
-Look, there are certain rules that one must follow when one is an NFL player. Unfortunately, a small percentage of guys think that abusing (allegedly) one’s pregger partner is one of them. It happens too often to deny this theory. Von Miller is the latest guy that has to explain himself to the police and a judge.
-38 years young Joe Flacco is a Brown now and has immediately leapfrogged P.J. Walker in the pecking order. DTR’s concussed self seems unlikely to play this week so get your skim milk (not the full fat stuff-too rich) ready-eliteness is approaching.
-A sports news blurb tells me that Jim Harbaugh is being looked at by a couple of NFL front offices, including the Panthers and Bears. Could Jim’s people have floated this out themselves? That’s my guess-it takes a bit of the heat off.
To The Game!
Seahawks/Cowboys:
-Remember that Niners debacle that Dallas was involved in? They had their balls blown off by a score of 42-10. I recall DAK! doing the usual post-game stuff like, “We’ve got to re-focus, we’re better than this”. You know, the kinda stuff that every player says. Welp, tw’eren’t just jaw-flapping on his part-since that game his TD/INT ratio is a sparkling 18-2.
-At the other side of the field…Geno was so good last year. We saw a renaissance and we were happy for him. Now he’s led the team to 20 straight possessions without an offensive score. Welcome back to earth buddy.
-Before Cowboys fans get too ahead of themselves, all of their wins have come against teams with a losing record. They won’t run into any of those in the playoffs. Well, at least beyond the first round. (looking at you, NFC South)
-Jerry’s balls might be in a bunch these days. Dak’s cap number is 60 million next year because of the way his contract is structured. Can you say “guaranteed extension” given the way he’s playing this year?
-If Seattle has any chance here you may as well take Charbonnet’s prop of 12.5 rush attempts-running the ball and slowing things down is the only way to get the W.
It’s all yours.
ALL HAIL BLERGH
I don’t know if I have any more emotional energy left for the rest of this game.
I’m so spent, I can’t even form correct sentences.
I yes agree two
Seahawks should go back to these unis full time.
Just return to these uniforms, and no questions will be asked.
Just do it
.
OMG, they’ve made fish tossing even worse. Unbelievable.
Kurt Cobain AI cover songs at halftime?
No, Dude Perfect
I wish they’d use Cobain as more of an influence.
Sometimes, things just work themselves out:
https://www.reddit.com/r/IASIP/comments/187mcth/youve_heard_of_elf_on_the_shelf_now_get_ready_for/
Also, enjoy this game. This is our singularly enjoyable TNF of 2023.
I gather from Twitter that the officials are making their presence known in the Dallas-Seattle tilt.
YOU GET A REPLAY
YOU GET A REPLAY
KISSENGER’S STILL DEAD
Bruins win, 3-0. What this means for the Toronto Maple Leafs coming up at 11.
Rule interpreter in the booth getting it wrong for the infinity-th time.
“What is Catch?” TNF Edition…
There’s 90 second left in this game.
If the Bruins pull the goalie I think San Jose might get one goal.
“Dak and CeeDee are the meat and
potatoesother meat of the Cowboys offense!”-Al Michaels
“Are French fries a vegetable?”
Is meat wrapped in another meat a sandwich?
Tristan Jarry for the Ice Stillers just the first goalie-goal in franchise history.
Damn awesome!
https://twitter.com/DimFilipovic/status/1730414605057339638
matt canada fired and now multiple yinzer franchises experiencing unknown offenses
BREAKING SCORE FINAL
Pirates’ kids: 7
Pirates: 0
Les Binkley hangs his head in shame.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgLQjaTJpkE&ab_channel=JJ%28Governor%29Carrier
Les Blinkey, more Christie!
why are they accepting that BLEERGH?
nvm, looks like they ain’t
Coach Prime. JFC.
Sports Illustrated’s Sportsman of the Year!
Artificial Intelligence Approved!
Rick Reilly is rolling over in his grave.
Hold on, being told something in my earpiece…
(I’m waiting to cry)
There is some Charbonnet for teh Hippo.
I have a Vodka Pulse WOO!
To quote the great Tom Waits, as we deal with Shane MacGowan’s closing time, “last call for drinks, I’ll have another stout.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtLVXBqfqBY
We changed our minds, GO COWPERSONS
Go where you say?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7SvtikTkrM
They can give our regards to Henry Kissinger!
For those so inclined the Sharks and Bruins have begun punching each other with great enthusiasm. 2 fights to end the second period.
Reminds me, where is COVALENT??
I’m curious why hockey fights remind you of her…
Sharks supporter!
Didn’t she have a baby and never came back, if I remember right
That baby has to be in preschool by now.
It makes me a little sad that the Sharks and the Jets play completely different sports in entirely different leagues
We can’t risk them both in the same sport and the potential for the ensuing singularity.
Bring hockey back to Winnipeg!
Jesus, Larry from Regina’s gonna have my legs broke for that one.
Objectively, this game isn’t half bad, yet I am having trouble paying even a bit of attention.
I think of HI I’M MARK DAVIS as a mix of Tom Cullen and Simple Jack.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcJX4ksMF78&t=29s
“I knew that”
-Lea Michele, who did not, in fact, know that.
Yes.
I’ll always hate Henry Kissinger for banging Jill St. John before I did. Fight me bro.
Jill was neither a Saint or a John. Discuss.
You put your keys in the bowl and took your chances just like everyone else at that party, Brick.
It went: mobsters, Batman, Kissinger, me, Elvis, Sinatra, some other guys.
Elvis wrote a song about her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y71iDvCYXA&ab_channel=ElvisCostelloVEVO
who was This Year’s Girl?
Good thing he went first, she would have been ruined for other men had she rode the Brick-coaster first.
She’s now 81 and confined to a wheelchair. I like your chances.
BRICK’S DICK PUT HER IN A WHEELCHAIR!
Ain’t the first time.
Via Wiki. Just a murderers row:
“ St. John has been married four times. Her husbands:
Neil Dubin (May 12, 1957 – July 3, 1958; divorced) St. John was 16 years old when they eloped to Yuma, Arizona.[a] Dubin was heir to a linen fortune. St. John complained that he harassed and ridiculed her.[29]
Lance Reventlow (March 24, 1960 – October 30, 1963; divorced) Reventlow was the son of Barbara Hutton, heir to the F. W. Woolworth fortune. St. John received a settlement of $86,000.[30] Despite their divorce and subsequent remarriages, she refers to Reventlow as “my late husband” in interviews.[31]
Jack Jones (October 14, 1967 – February 28, 1969; divorced) Jones said demands on his singing career and the involved traveling contributed to the breakup.[3]
Robert Wagner (May 26, 1990 – present) The couple first met in 1959 when they were contract players at 20th Century Fox, and have been together since Valentine’s Day[32] 1982.
Between marriages, St. John dated entertainment, sports, and political personalities including Ben Barnes, Gianni Bulgari, Sammy Cahn, Michael Caine, Oleg Cassini, Barry Coe, Sean Connery, Ahmet Ertegun, Robert Evans, Glenn Ford, David Frost, Jack Haley Jr., Bill Hudson, Henry Kissinger, Sidney Korshak, Peter Lawford, George Lazenby, Jim Lonborg, Trini López, Tom Mankiewicz, George Montgomery, Joe Namath, Jack Nicholson, Hugh O’Brian, Ogden Mills Phipps, Roman Polanski, Alejandro Rey, Tom Selleck, Frank Sinatra, Robert Vaughn, Giovanni Volpi, Adam West and David L. Wolper.[3][6][33][34][35]
St. John has also had amorous relationships with criminal court judge Jerome M. Becker, ski instructor Ricky Head, Olympic ski champion Brownie Barnes, plastic surgeon Steven Zax, investment broker Lenny Ross, Chicago businessman Delbert W. Coleman and Brazilian entrepreneur Francisco “Baby” Pignatari.[34][36][37][38][39] She was engaged to Miami real estate developer Robert Blum in 1974, but called off the engagement.[3]”
That’s my gal. She’s a pistol!
If Ertz can catch, we should just have him play WR instead of, oh, every fucking WR on the team. Make it happen, Coach Reid.
Like old saying goes That’s sure some COWPERSON LUCK smh
PRAISE SHANK’LOR
I think of HI I’M MARK DAVIS as an extra happy version of the giant cell phone guy from Trigger Happy TV
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27aVPqpnL7Y
well of course rich people from dallas are far more familiar with and perform better with fake surfaces than real ones
“IT DON’T MATTER A HILL OF BEANS IF THERE’S GRASS ON THE FIELD OR NOT. OL’DUBBLE J IS GONNA PLAY BALL AND GET HIS GOTTDAMMED MONEYS WORTH OUT OF THEM WHORES! YEEEEEeeeeeeeeHHAAAAaaaaaWWWWWWWWWW I AM FUCKIN’ CRAZY!”
Did you see Neon Deion and his spawn, Shad roe on the Cowboy’s sideline? I’m calling it now, Jerrah’s gonna draft him.
You’re well on your way to not being my favorite with that kind of attitude, young lady.
Shad roe? You’re a cheeky monkey!
we missed the good timeline where he drafted johnny football
I really hope that story about Stephen physically restraining him from the phone to keep him from making that pick is true.
I hope not. I don’t want to root for anything Cowboys.
Whenever I watch a football game now it reminds of last month when I was in Vegas and lost $200 betting on the Buffalo Bills for some stupid fucking reason. Other than that I had a pretty good time. Met some nice people.
Just realized Money League Hippo needs CeeDee Lamb D.E.D.
He’s anti-dead just right now.
yeah. Sad Hippo. My natural habitat!
About gotdamn time.
Karma!
Realistic flames.
Garbage salutes garbage.
Papa Steinbrenner was actually a Demmycrat. Sommet I learned just this year (some booky-book, ah forgets which)
The fact that you guys have to register as one or the other or the other perplexes me to no end. He likely registered as a Demmy because he had more influence in that party.
We don’t have to. I’m not registered as a member of either party
No Party Preference WOOO!
My party preference vote is Yes. Yes I like to party.
Andrew WK for President. If he can keep Kat Dennings happy, he can keep you happy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WccfbPQNMbg
I probably would have registered Indy at 18*, but for the closed primary thing in North Cakalaky. But, I vote for the Dem 99 times out of 100, so it’s not like the registration is some kind of real impediment for me.
*I have steadily gotten more economically liberal as I age. Originally was just socially liberal.
That’s funny. People usually get fiscally conservative as they age.
is true, Hippo is quite the land of contrasts
I certainly have, but even so I’ll be double-goddamned before I vote for a fucking Republican.
The thought that Elon Musk has $240B, and I pay more taxes than Jeff Bezos is turning me Communist.
We also have nuclear weapons and the death penalty. Besides those three things Canada and the USA are identical.
Or as Dave Foley said “It’s (a Canadian) like an American, but without a gun.”
Some states have open primaries.
My response to this was “Fuck all the way off with this.”
Judging from the other replies I took it better than most.
Love ya, Geno.
geno needs to win one big game now that mario rpg is back
Lookit you Good Geno!
too anxious to get off, buddy ah BEEN THAR
seriously, has the net has said, WH statement on buffett’s passing is 40% bigger than the kissinger one
You better believe there were Jimmy Buffet 8 tracks in Sleepy Joe’s Trans Am!
The Cowboys are playing tonight? You’d think I’d know that, but you’d be wrong.
Just got back from bowling. First time in a year. 135-99(yikes)-134. That 134 is a whole let less impressive when I tell you I started out with two strikes, (closest I’ve ever come to a perfect game), and a 55 after three frames.
The important thing is that they had Guinness on tap and I was able to offer a proper toast to Shane MacGowan.
“Toast? Does it have heroin on it?”
-S. MacGowan
Heroine toast >>> Avocado toast
Fun fact, Sinead O’Connor once called the cops on MacGowan because he was holding heroin and she was afraid he’d kill himself with it.
Which seems like bad logic, if the cops are coming, wouldn’t one do it ALL rather than waste?
You will have Bowler’s Butt in two days, get something to rub on it now!
My Vietnam vet dad’s take on last night’s news:
(artist’s conception)
ozzy outlasted him. that MIGHT prove god exists after all.
That reminds me, I need to take a trip to his grave so I can piss on it in honor of my late Great Uncle who was MIA in Vietnam.
If I’m going to do it for Jane Fonda’s grave, I have to do it for Kissinger’s as well. It’s fair and bipartisan.
This is indeed fair. I also think Fonda crossed a line. Constitutionally protected? Absolutely. But she deserved to get shit about it.
Yeah, and my uncle was shot down in a plane and reports are he survived the crash but they couldn’t find any remains or signs of what happened to him.
Just to explain why my rage is uncharacteristically cold and pure.
https://amp.theguardian.com/film/2015/jan/20/jane-fonda-hanoi-jane-photo-was-a-huge-mistake
It’s hilarious to me my mom bought Jane Fonda BETA and VHS exercise tapes to piss off my old man when I was a kid.
I learned passive aggressiveness very early in life.
I got my stream up RIGHT as the ‘Truthers kicked off. I am the Golden God of Amazon Prime Video!!
good to see the hawks with the oc unis and not look like a nike marketing execs crack dream
*OG
just thinking of those highlighter nightmares make me not even spell a two letter slang correctly
Oh this is fun!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2Ns88bEYhY
Extra votes for all the losses to the Giants.
How do you get WFT and NYG fans to cheer for the Eagles? Have them play the Cowboys in the playoffs
ny yankees: aw shit, kissinger died. we liked that dude.
https://www.mlb.com/press-release/press-release-statement-from-the-new-york-yankees-regarding-the-passing-of-forme
biden: fuck that hoe
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2023/11/30/statement-from-president-biden-on-the-passing-of-henry-kissinger/
“He was a guy that I knew-he had some attributes. I feel for his family.”
/that is ice fucking cold
I love me some Dark Brandon.
The kicker for me is that you can interpret it as meaning, “His family endured so much, putting up with this war criminal”.
Biden Translation to the King’s English:
“I disagreed with this asshole but he kept calling every President to give his views like we were AM Radio Talk Show Host instead of President of the United States, but not anymore because he’s dead.”
Come on you fish throwing bastards!
what will come first on game broadcast? the tossing of fish, or the meandering of cattle?
Cattle first with a Stevie Ray Vaughan bed. Then Pike’s Market with a Nirvana bed.
The game is in Dallas. It will be hookers
the proper nomenclature is tonight girlfriend(s)
Speaking of, Rikki, what’s the proper tone of voice for HI I’M MARK DAVIS! I normally think of this:
https://youtu.be/_Fx6eCGsXMw?si=8IumHmWbwqBRdozt
To me it’s more of a yell. Approximately the same level of cheerfulness though.
there is deffo a voice in my head, kind of a hybrid of old man and “Special Ed” from Crank Yankers, with elevated volume as Rikki notes.
– Coach Reid, to the staff of a Long John Silver’s who are attempting to close up for the night
Vodka Hippo needs the Charbonnet love you suggest to Petey. I hope to fuck he is listening.
In my money league, I am presently starting BOTH Jonathan Mingo and AT Perry (Parry?). Bow before my suckitude.