Man, oh man. We needed a third late show here. This is some dire fucking shit. But let’s get on with it.
Ballsy: It’s 2 AM, we’re slightly drink / heavily buzzed, and that large blonde is not looking quite as large. Speaking of,
B1G Twenty Soon! Title Match – Iowa (+22) v. Michigan @ The Gravy Boat (8:00, Fox)
Twenty-two fucking point spread. Despite Team Cornpone having maybe the best defense in all the land. But come on, we all could see this one somehow ending 21 to -3. Iowa can and will find a way to limbo below the pole on the ground. Michigan is on my list (like ND, U*NC) of team that I refuse to watch play unless defeat is more or less assured. So, Hippo will instead watch…
We Still Exist! ACC Title Match – Louisville (+1.5) v. Florida State @ Richardson Family Plantation (8:00, ABC)
Oy vey. The last two weeks sure took some shine of this’un. As you all know by now, FSU lost their starting QB (leg pointing wrong way) in their pseudo-bye week against North Alabama. And his backup looked pretty….backup-like in a very underwhelming finale against the Florida Men (who do NOT have a great defense). Louisville, on the other hand, lost at home to the Blue Moons of Kenfucky. Woof. Their only ACC loss was to the worst Pitt team I can recall. So this matchup is all about the Cards – if they play like they do at their best (especially on defense), they’ll win. Otherwise, FSU will score a defensive TD and grind out sommet like a 24-6 win.
It’s not pretty, but it’s all we got. God bless the forthcoming 12-team playoffs.
Ballsy: Florida State will most likely lose, which will crack a gigantic window open for one of the hated teams to sneak in. The question becomes: Which hated team will it be? At least we know it won’t be Notre Dame!
Since this is the last JV Footy Saturday Night, Mr. Hippo will take a well-deserved rest. Thank you for writing these and keeping us entertained all these weekends!
The NFL will have some Saturday games soon, so Scotchy will fill in on those nights. Hopefully, we will get some fresh hobo stories.
After that, my goal is to fill this slot (Phrasing!) as fully as possible (PHRASING!) so as to make you all deeply satisfied (Seriously, are we not doing Phrasing anymore?).
Enjoy the games!
Almost walked out of the resto tonight. Manager couldn’t manage his way out of paper bag. I was enraged. For the good of my family I sucked it up and finished the evening. Fuck, it isn’t that fucking difficult.
VANDALS!!
PRAISE KIBBIE DOME
.
College Playoff has been around for a decade now. This is the first real “who’s in?” discussion I can remember.
Reminder it expands to a dozen schools next year, so this tomorrow’s JV foobawl chaos is the preamble to the dissertation.
To me it’s incredibly simple. Undefeated teams from Power 5 conferences are in (Michigan, UW, FSU). Alabama beat Georgia, so Alabama > Georgia. Texas beat Alabama, so Texas > Alabama and Georgia. So Texas gets the last spot.
https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/page/gamedayfinal120223/college-football-champ-week-highlights-top-plays-games-takeaways-2023
Kind of wild to see him touting Alabama’s win over LSU when FSU beat that same exact LSU team by an even bigger margin.
College Football Playoff, bowl projections: Paths for five contenders still in the hunt for four-team field – CBSSports.com
tl;dr
Michigan – IN
Washington – IN
Florida State – Likely IN
Texas – Likely IN
Alabama – Doubtful, but possible. I don’t see it. Texas easily defeated Alabama, so it would be between Florida State and Alabama. Alabama has been #8 for every CFB ranking. Litte reason to change that now at the expense of an undefeated conference champion.
Georgia – OUT Bit of a surprise, but Georgia lost its margin for error when they lost. They shouldn’t be ranked higher than the team that beat them, so if the best Alabama can be is #4, then they are out.
I’m getting a four mile walk in tomorrow.
Bullee dat!
Maybe I’ll see internet dad and I could buy him some smokes.
“Don’t you love us daddy?”
College Football Playoff Selection Committee Deliberations (Artistic Interpretation)
spongebob-panicking.gif (498×358) (tenor.com)
hawt KIBBIE DOME akshun on TWWL2
So what you guys are saying, with fsu only getting in for being undefeated…
Then 13-0 conference usa champs liberty should be in the playoffs?
I already said below FSU is out due to being on their 3rd QB and being an irrelevant ACC team.
UW, UM are in. Last two are up between Georgia, Bama, and Texas. Texas beat Bama badly, so Georgia and Texas are the last two.
#1 Bama and #4 Bama it is.
Infallible argument. ROLL DAMN TIDE!
It’s kind of absurd that anyone would even *think* of keeping a 13-0 team from a P5 conference out of the playoffs, but I am sure the committee is calculating a budget for riot gear as we speak.
Evil machines don’t think. They just do
Michigan, Washington, fsu, but it’s most interesting to see what 1 win team gets the fourth spot
I imagine georgia gets it, but who knows
No, because Liberty was a lower ranked team who faced a lower ranked opponent.
I’m only saying FSU is in because they were this year’s overranked team who kept winning. If the ranking were the AP or Coach’s, the committee could disregard it. But since the rankings are their from last week, they either have to stand by them or say their opinion doesn’t matter until the end.
And also they’d have to argue that nothing that happens on the field actually matters. As though somehow winning your conference championship by two scores while on your *third* string QB is less impressive than it would be to do the same with your QB1.
The argument is the other way. They may be 13-0, but they’re not actually that good now since they’re on their *third” QB.
That’s silly. If they weren’t all that good now that they’re stuck with QB3, then they should have been exposed in the conference championship against a solid #14 Louisville team.
Cmon. You know Louisville doesn’t rate to the playoff committee.
Oh, for sure. That much was clear when at 6-1 they were ranked a full six spots below a 6-2 Notre Dame team that they themselves had beaten.
Lol redshirt, I just realized, the banner image looks like the bloodline pointing
So I just found out jack plummer and jaimari thrash are not the sons of two mediocre nfl players.
Low key disappointed for some reason
And Joey Porter, Jr. not only exists, but evidently will continue the family tradition of tormenting the city of Cincinnati.
Haven’t those poor people suffered enough?
Make sure you keep your miniature horses locked up.
I looked up that Plummer kid when they played Pitt.
I think I’ll take next Friday off. 2 day weekends are simply too short. Plus it’s an Italian holiday for the immaculate conception so I can look up the immaculate reception on Utube to celebrate it properly.
How does a Catholic “celebrate” the immaculate conception? I bet Balls knows.
Anal is for slutty Prods. Good Catholic girls give hummers and handies.
I’ll go with that. After a long session of teasing. I do enjoy the teasing.
From experience I can say that Catholic girls do solid work while on their knees.
Balls knows everything
https://youtu.be/nFCRm68OF7I?si=OeKsVXPjvYIwZfJS
So here I am in Portugal at this thrash metal brewery and in walks Dok.
What a world.
They took requests.
This was mine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOWf8uqGf8A
Do you guys know ‘Free Bird’?
I liked when they dropped the bombs
Alabama, Georgia, tOSU, shit – even OREGON all are significantly better than FSU. But the easiest thing to do is let FSU in, so that is what will be done. It’s gross.
Since this is the last year of the 4 team playoff, they aren’t going to go rogue and change the tradition. But I’ve been wrong before. Once. In 1967. 2nd grade.
Welp, I would say it sucks to be texas, but well, you know…
The “Baby Ruth” is a quality candy bar.
I just ate one, I suppose I should know.
I feel like that and three musketeers are weirdly underrepresented.
Yes, but what other candy bars have you had recently with which you could compare this “quality” candy bar?
I love them. And I also love Paydays.
Lol I was just thinking, what is the bar completely covered in peanuts, it took me a second
They are so good. Sometimes simpler is better!
Zero – antimatter Snickers.
presented without comment:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAEFKjqPtlU
Summer teeth
The “Elway.”
I just finished the SEC championship.
Fun game.
It was a 4 hour recording window with 60 minutes of game play.
I can’t understand how a person could watch that live.
PAAWLLL
I was doing yard work and occasionally I’d poke my head into the garage to see what was going on. 3 out of 4 times the game would be on commercial.
If scores hold:
#1 Michigan
#2 Washington
#3 Georgia
#4 Florida State
#5 Alabama
#6 Texas
Flip TX and FSU and you’re correct
If OSU didn’t have three losses, I’d agree. If its between Florida State and Texas, it could go to the quality of opponent. Which win was better, a 10-2 team ranked #14 or a 9-3 team ranked #18?
But if FSU’s margin of victory keeps getting closer, so does Texas’s argument. However, the ACC will flip their shit if an undefeated team falls to a one-loss Big 12->SEC team.
Yeah, but no one gives a shit what the ACC thinks
TRUE DAT. NC State is, at present, playing the best ball in the ACC. We’re ranked around 20th…and nobody argues we should be any higher. Even from our biased perch.
Day #2
I love those little bottles. And on the rare occasions I drink liquor, probably 80% of the time it’s gin. But I’m a total lightweight. Two of those and I’m dancing the tango with a mysterious stranger.
[ stranger says ‘who is this old drunk bitch, and why is she stepping on my toes?”]
I’m just getting these two wee things out of the way while the next bottle of freezer vodka gets to the proper temp, as the first one ran out a bit earlier today
Keep them for a little posy vase. I’m a complete sucker for teeny bottles and jars
I misread that one! Then I looked up what you actually meant.
Great idea!
Has the Wolverines been arrested for Alcohol-poisoning homicide yet?
Day #1
Messed that one up. Here’s the actual gin name.
I wrote some great stuff on the old thread after the new one was posted. Nobody read it.
No one read the comments I spammed the thread with before realizing I was two threads behind.
Like Van Gogh, my genius will only be appreciated posthumously.
Has no one come by to retrieve the murder weapon?
Last I saw, you were trying to lure Fozzie to an American Legion. That seems like it could cause a singularity. I’m all for it!
I’ll have you know that when looking for comments for “the comments of the week” post I’m usually a few threads behind, so they get read
Excellent system by Sid in the Dr. Pepper ball toss thing.
Pretty obvious that I didn’t eat enough dinner when this Shakey’s pizza is looking so appealing to me right now.
It would be a crime against humanity to put FSU in the playoffs.
That’s why I want it so bad. Georgia and Alabama watching from home as *this* team loses to Michigan 9-0.
Michigan’s ride has been easy enough, damn it!
Yes, well, they did a very good job of scouting out the race course, now didn’t they?
Point,
Counterpoint
Remember when notre went undefeated twice only to get killed in the playoffs due to their easy schedule
This is all turning up Huskies!
No, because they’d still have to play Texas. It’s about Michigan getting stuck with Alabama instead of getting a bye against FSU.
Guffaw! You think the Longhorns would be more than a speed bump to UDub?
BOW DOWN!
all I know is…I ain’t watching no TX/MI final.
Well, that’s just common sense.
https://twitter.com/Hassel_Chris/status/1730983730682933563
I’d drink myself to death if I lived there, too.
What cheap swill are they serving? I’m gonna guess Natty Ice
Just paint thinner. Can’t tell the difference.
I thought drinking until you score was the only way for Iowa co-eds to get laid.
This cold still blows, but I’m way better than last night. Such a strange illness, woke up yesterday with a bit of a runny nose and got worse all day until I was just a head full of goo, now today been getting progressively better all day to the point where I can mostly breathe out of my nose. Oh well, not gonna complain about getting better!
That’s the exact thing I had. You’ll be fine in 2 days and hopefully can avoid the post-whatever cough I had for a good ten days.
Sleeping upright rules! said no one ever.
That is one seriously beefy QB.
Iowa’s? He’s living proof. BEEFCAKE!!!
“There no such thing as a ‘beefy’ quarter brisket.” – Coach Reid, scoffing
I have responded to your missive in the earlier thread.
Lady GaGa hawking migraine medicine. Maybe if she stopped listening to her own music?
Maybe she wouldn’t have many migraines if she was wearing five pounds of makeup and normal clothes her size.
You’re not wrong, but she’s been pretty normal for a while now. Seems like she followed the eminem method of superstardom: make a big splash with over the top antics, then coast on your success with more personal projects, if that makes sense.
I’m irritating myself by being this pedantic, but all those things would cause tension headaches rather than migranes. Migranes are neurological
Man if I had the capability I would totally split-screen the games tonight.
I’d be amused if they both ended 2-nil, after about 12 OTs
Dr. Eric Bush, director of the Michigan Marching Band.
Bush. Always makes me laugh.
Thinking about this, elves in Santa’s workshop – what’s their recreational drug of choice?
They have a hectic work schedule, so I’m thinking the gas on weed.
They gotta work. Gotta be speed.
Meth for August 1-Dec. 24;
Luudes, Xannies, Percs, and pot Dec. 25-July 31
I swear to fuck, if Texas doesn’t get in I’m going to punch the NCAA in the balls.
Also, my snotty neighbor, who works “My father went to Georgia” into every goddamn conversation is probably sad and drunk right now. So, you know, fuck her.
I would love for Texas fans to go Jan 6th on the committee headquarters.
Always enjoyed going to ECHL games.
The best!
I’ll be leading the pack, just don’t tell them I’m a Yankee.
Unless your father is William Tecumseh Sherman no one cares that he went to Georgia.
My dad went to LSU for first graduate school. There he learned that the south is awful (he’s refused to ever live in the south again, even eschewing NOVA) and that chicory coffee is intense
The 2023 College Football Playoff Selection Committee, I call it the jury in the People vs. OJ Simpson, because no matter what they decide, no one is going to like it.
Better get Cochran.
It’s gonna be kind of funny to see a one-loss Texas team get bumped out of the college football playoff in favor of a one-loss Alabama team that they beat.
(by two scores, no less)
Texas has a special place in my heart as it was the first college football team the Oldest Fozz Spawn and I followed together. If they don’t get in, hell will rein on earth. Trust me.
The love of money is the root of all evil, etc.
PPPAAAWWWLLLLLL
If you are in LA, and get a job on “Ghosts UK” do you just lie to your friends and say you are working in porn instead?
Are you kidding? The average struggling actor would literally kill for a sitcom gig.
Porn actors look down on struggling actors.
And not just because they’re sucking them off for rent money?
At least we are super drunk. – Every UGA fun inside Megatron’s Butthole
Someone didn’t read the sign.
They can’t afford it.
Translated: “Alcohol will not be served to THE POORS.”
“That’s fine, my boobs didn’t want your stupid alcohol anyways.” – Lea Michele