Your Unsunny Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

It might be nice elseplaces but it’s Hot Chocolate Day here, you sexy thing. That’s just the thing to warm the cockles of my ham hocks. There are six teams (Bills, Giants, Ravens, Vikes, Bears and Raiders) on bye this week so check your turgid fantasy teams!

To The Games!

Colts/Titans:

Indy’s unlikely march to the playoffs might encounter a speed bump in the form of a certain King Henry. The Colts run D has allowed opposing rb’s the 7th-most fantasy points this season and things have gotten worse since run-stopping nose tackle Stewart was nabbed for taking PED’s. Fill-in Zack Moss is no slouch on the other side, leading the league in rush yards over expectation.

Chargers/Pats:

Keenan Allen looked dicey all week but is expected to go and that’s good because he seems to be all of the Chargers offense. Can you think of any other rb or wr that has had a career year at the age of 31? Meanwhile, the world’s saddest whirlygig continues to rotate at the Pats qb position.

Falcons/Jets:

Tim Boyle has a job. His QBR in college was 15.8. His pro career number is 27.7. Last week he posted a 4.6. If any team were to get Flacco on board it should have been the what the hell are you guys thinking Jets. Speaking of crap, Ridder is on board and expect Sauce to get his very first INT of the year.

Lions/Saints:

Some wr on New Orleans is going to have a great day today vs Detroit’s flailing D. Over the last three weeks they’ve not been able to generate any pressure and starting cb Jacobs has been torched for 205 yards and three TDs. But who will that wr be?-Olave is banged up, rook A.T. Perry is an unknown quantity and there are the has-beens Bowden and Kirkwood.

Cards/Steelers:

Watt The Younger will have trouble extending his sack streak to five games against the wily coyote, er, Kyler. Pitt will likely pile up the yards against Arizona’s flimsy D but will it translate into points this time around?

Fins/Commies:

The only wr to reach 100 yards vs the Cowboys is, Curtis Samuel? Maybe that’s the streamer you’re looking for with so many teams on bye. Achane is back but it doesn’t sound like he’s 100%. He and other skill guys should have a field day because, as everyone suspected, the Commies D has become suspect since the fire sale of Young and Sweat. They’ve given up 29, 31, (to the Giants!) and 45 points since that genius maneuver.

Broncos/Texans:

At 6-5 and occupying the 8th and 9th playoff spots in the race, there’s a fair amount riding on this tilt. Denver has been forcing qb’s into rushed decisions during their win streak but rook Stroud is a different kind of cat. He had some INT woes two weeks ago but got immediately back on track. He’s had a QB rating of 80+ in all games except for his very first. I’ll be watching Houston’s left guard Juice Scruggs. Why? Because his name is Juice Scruggs, damnit!

Enjoy.

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blaxabbath

Wife and i are out to our 7th anniversary tonight. We’re both beat.

WCS

Congrats to yinz on the sex.

blaxabbath

THIS GAME THE MATCHUP BETWEEN THE ARIZONA CARDINALS AND THE STEELERS OF PITTSBURGH I CALL IT THE AVERAGE NFL FAN BECAUSE IT’S NOTABLY DELAYED!

LemonJello

The Jets need to be renamed “Target Drones”

WCS

Nature’s cruelest mistake.

King Hippo

Confirmed, per Rotowire:

comment image?v=8Tank Dell
Suffers fractured fibula
WRHouston Texans
LOWER LEG
December 3, 2023
Dell was diagnosed with a fractured left fibula after exiting Sunday’s game against the Broncos with what the Texans listed as an ankle injury, league sources tell Aaron Wilson of KPRC 2 Houston reports.

Mr. Ayo

Bummer

Doktor Zymm

Ah shit, that sucks

The Maestro

Sorry, Hippo.

King Hippo

meh, it happens. Surprised we got back in it after how it started.

Doktor Zymm

Well damn, that was bad charm slung

Mr. Ayo

In-ter-CEPTION!

blaxabbath

As was her DUTY!

King Hippo

In-ter-FERED!!!

King Hippo

Surly. Duff. Y’all.

Gumbygirl

Or an Uzi.

WCS

comment image

Gatoraids

Disasterous week for the auto industry with Carr wrecked , Trackorcito in the shop and the launch of the cyber truck

Doktor Zymm

Even Tanks have been breaking down

LemonJello

Brissett getting served up to Miami’s D as an end of game snack

King Hippo

NOPE, he died blocking on their initial TD. He was active.

King Hippo

(and pretty sure his leg broke so ded for reelz)

Doktor Zymm

Shit, his injury designation says ankle but broken anything is no bueno. Poor kid

WCS

TNF will feature Mitch Trubisky vs. Bailey Zappe.

King Hippo

There will be turnovers.

LemonJello

“You have my attention.”
-Andy Reid