Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all [in bed].
Emily Dickinson

I’m usually hoping for a few more hours sleep, but have been told there’s other things one can hope for in bed.

Also, even tho I was out shopping on the weekend, I managed nawt to hear the LDB, so still in the challenge. I’m totes going to be out due to something dumb.

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Nothing better than coming back to the office after a Caribbean cruise and getting a big ol’ helping of Hippo Thoughts to keep me from doing actual work!
LemonJello

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Going into tonight I’m chasing 14 points with DJ Moore on my side vs Kmet on my opponent’s.

Fantasy football sucks almost as much as real football this year.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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I couldn’t help but notice that the one person who made an illegal pass on that play was the guy who is paid to throw the ball.
Redshirt

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Fields looks absolutely disgusted.
Horatio Cornblower

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Bruins drop their 3rd straight, 5-2 to Columbus.

At least Sully and Tawwmy have the C’s.
Horatio Cornblower

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THAT INTERCEPTION BY JOSH DOBBS I CALL THE SPACE SHUTTLE COLUMBIA BECAUSE IT WAS TORCHED ON ENTRY BY A FATEFUL BOUNCE
WCS

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After hanging with Ayo on Thurs, we should have a PNWer DFO hangout, maybe in Seattle at a Mariners game or weekend of games when it’s warm weather. I’d also suggest Portland as a meetup, as I live about 1 mile north of the MODA Center, so a Blazers game could be a thing. Park around my house, walk to MODA while hitting the 3 bars inbetween.
ThePirateSloth

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Banned for one week from the Ravens subreddit. I emailed the mods back and told them to go fuck themselves.
jjfozz

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I really do not think Kenny Pickett is a bad QB. One thing that gets forgotten in all the “lack of offense” is that he hasn’t turned the ball over.

He holds the Steelers all-time record for consecutive throws without an interception. And he is adding to it every new throw.

That’s a big part of why they’re 7-4.
ballsofsteelandfury

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And you deserve all credito for Alex Smith replacing fellow DCer Joe Theisman as the go-to reference for Gruesome Leg Breakening. I support this movement. It’s time for Theisman’s to achieve irrelevance.
And the wishbone lead! Mmmmmuah. That’s a kiss siund in Spanish btw
Don T

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I always laugh a little when I remember how much draft capital and money NFL teams spent on Sam Bradford. He was the first pick in the draft and was the last rookie that got the huge payday. He played mediocre football for nine seasons and made $130M. He was traded for first round picks twice. According to pro football reference, his career was most similar to Wade Wilson.
JimU

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KISSINGER FINALLY DEAD AT 100

REST IN PISS BOZO

YOU WON’T BE MISSED
The Maestro

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H. Kissenger has gone to hell, finally.
ArmedandHammered

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YOU GET A REPLAY
YOU GET A REPLAY

KISSENGER’S STILL DEAD
WCS

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Did you see Neon Deion and his spawn, Shad roe on the Cowboy’s sideline? I’m calling it now, Jerrah’s gonna draft him.
Gumbygirl

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WTAF

This is not far from me. Also, it’s, like, Canada, and winter and snowing.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS KANGAROO? https://t.co/2Slp6xWMzp pic.twitter.com/2HFxaXzw1B

— durhamregion.com (@newsdurham) December 1, 2023

Game Time Decision

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Ugh, I never get colds, this blows. I’m swole, but not in the muscle way, just swole full of snot and mucus. Ew.
Isn’t snot just a form of mucus? Probably redundant to say both.
Doktor Zymm

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I would estimate that around 80% of asshole drivers are in Teslas now, it’s successfully overtaken every other car as the choice of aggressive dickfaces. And annoyingly, they’re popular enough that there are lots of normal Tesla drivers around so I can’t even have fun stereotyping
Doktor Zymm

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Stole this:

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Dear Arm & Hammer,

As your customer I would greatly appreciate in the future if you could affix warnings or perhaps bold letters depicting the words “MENTHOL” on the bottle of your “EXTRA STRENGTH PLUS” sinus rinse.

As a long time customer of your saline washes, I was left to assume that “EXTRA STRENGTH PLUS” referred to the sodium level in the saline spray. I stand corrected in my assumption. It actually means SPICY ACID BATH OF NOSTRIL LAVA.

This product set off an unexpected chain of events which led me to quite literally; shit my pants.

As with prior sinus rinses I inserted the nozzle into my nostril, tilted my head back, and began to spray the saline wash into my nose letting it work it’s way through my sinus canals. Suddenly, with a thunderous vengeance, the menthol activated. It felt like I had snorted pure wasabi. My whole head began to burn like a prostitute trying to enter the Vatican. I felt burning in places I had never felt sensations before. It was so hot, my third eye began to water. I can only describe it as my “inside face” had caught on fire. Meanwhile my teeth, armpits, and groin suddenly felt freezing cold. Parts of body began to tingle, as if my Spidey Sense was warning me that the worst was still yet to come.

This sudden combination of sensations prohibited me from leaning forward to let it drain from my nose into the sink. Instead, it began to run down the back of my throat sending me into an uncontrollable coughing fit, ultimately leading me to lose control of my rectal retention. Thus removing my ability to govern self control over my sphincter – which regrettably induced an episode of what I’d like to call “unexpected wet farts of despair.” I’d estimate, I coughed five times in total, whilst simultaneously farting each time. Each one sounding exactly like air escaping a balloons blow hole being pinched and spread apart. Crying out in a high pitched whine mimicking someone whispering the word “Whhhhhhhyyyyyyyy?” in a really really sad voice.

Take note Arm & Hammer: “Half blind, on fire, and shitting your pants,” were not mentioned in potential side effects. You may want to add that for legal purposes.

I implore your marketing and design department to have the word “VERY SPICY” printed on the front of the label. Along with “MAY SHIT PANTS.”

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I think I’ll take next Friday off. 2 day weekends are simply too short. Plus it’s an Italian holiday for the immaculate conception so I can look up the immaculate reception on Utube to celebrate it properly.
2Pack

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It’s gonna be kind of funny to see a one-loss Texas team get bumped out of the college football playoff in favor of a one-loss Alabama team that they beat.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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“The Detroit Lions: Letting Opponents Back Into The Game Ever Since Your Great Grandmother Was Giving Handies To All The Boys Coming Back From WW2.”
scotchnaut

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Disasterous week for the auto industry with Carr wrecked , Trackorcito in the shop and the launch of the cyber truck
Gatoraids

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So why hasn’t Flacco been playing, again?
Redshirt

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Wait, Shogun’s back!?!?
Horatio Cornblower

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TayTay is there. Must be love, if she’s willing to go to East Bumfuck Wisconsin in December!
Gumbygirl

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8:13 eastern, a nation commences its weekly tradition as they press their mute buttons
fleshwound_NPG

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DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ.: Would you open this tin of chickpeas and put it in…[trails off, as she often does]

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [opens tin over kitchen sink]

DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ.: [stands next to RTD at the sink, holding a bowl]

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [pours chickpeas into bowl]

DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ.: What did you do that for, that bowl was dirty!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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