Your Dreary Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

The NFL just doesn’t give a fuck, does it? They’re killing our love of the sport one ugly game at a time. Who, aside from masochists like Gumbygirl and WCS, would watch this garbage? Guh!

Tidbits:

-Handing Out Baloney: Marvin Harrison Jr. is trying to tell gullible reporters that he’s thinking of going back to school one more year because his team didn’t beat Michigan. A top 5 pick? His NIL deal is worth 1.3 mil and he’ll make about 36 mil on his rookie deal. Plus if he leaves he’ll be one year closer to the big money second contract. Just stop with your hooey.

-The Texans surgence (can’t really call it a resurgence, can I?) has all been about Stroud and Company on O but the D has gifted them 12 takeaways over their 4-1 winning binge. That’s a dozen extra possessions with the ball. You can’t be discounting that.

-A dumb piece of shit sociopath hired by the Jags (naturally) was able to take 22 mil over the course of four years. He spent it on private airplane rides, a flashy car, expensive watches and a condo. You know, things that no one would notice.

To The Game!

Pats/Steelers:

-not exactly sure why I included the exclamation mark after “Game”.

-So it’s Truth Biscuit vs Doesn’t Matter but probably Zappe.

-Malik Cunningham has been activated for the game and the skinny is that a package of goal line plays has been developed for him. Needless to say, you won’t be seeing him this evening.

-In the all-important Expected Points Added per rush, the Pats D is ranked #1. Pair that with an on again, off again Najee (yards per rush averages in his last 5 games include a lousy 2.9 and 3.9 but also a 5.1 and a 6.6) and you’ll likely get your three yards and a cloud of dust wish.

-Zeke’s rush prop is 53.5 and I’d be inclined to take the over because with Rhamondre and Demario Douglas out, you’re looking at the entire offense right there.

-I’d also grab the +320 prop for neither team getting to 15 points.

Have at it.

5 3 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
193 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
WCS

If I’m found murdered in the bathroom, I want to exonerate Princess, Duke WCS, even ex-wifey.

The toilet finally had enough.

Game Time Decision

Do we blame Taco Bell or some other restaurant?

Redshirt

How do we know this isn’t the toilet writing this over WCS’s fresh swirlied remains?

Redshirt

Is George Pickens related to Carl Pickens, because I’m seeing both the talent and the locker room poison?

Mr. Ayo

Day #7

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Oh, the Game Awards were tonight, and an announcement maybe, about… oh.

comment image

Last edited 1 year ago by Senor Weaselo
ballsofsteelandfury

I’m glad to see no one stuck around to watch the end of that disaster.

WCS

Genuinely wonder if this gets Tomlin on the phone with Rooney tonight.

ballsofsteelandfury

For what, though? For Tomlin to complain about how everyone is hurt and the cupboard is bare after first string?

WCS

No, really more about gauging if the messages are still resonating.

They really seemed out of sorts. Max Starks said some guys on the sidelines were disinterested near the end. If you’re down three, at home late… I want to hear more about that. Just clarify it, without some weird Tomlin-speak.

Mike Sullivan is all but out as Pens coach. It’s not an indictment on him; the message is stale, and needs a shake-up. It happens.

Tomlin’s been there for 17 (?) seasons? Maybe not fire him, but a lot of resources need to go into the offense. Omar’s not necessarily bound to Tomlin. They haven’t won a playoff game in six year, either.

This is all just speculation after a crappy week.

ballsofsteelandfury

I did see him yelling on the sidelines at Pickens. Maybe you’re right in that the message isn’t getting through.

The problem is that there is nothing wrong with the message. It’s a winning message and a winning mentality. The problem is the players. You can see it in the intra-team fights. It’s the old guard trying to enforce the message and the new guys not buying into it.

Honestly, I think they need to clean house on personnel this off-season. There are still plenty of young players (read: Watt) that believe in the message.

WCS

You have your starting tackle in Jones, you’ve got Friermuth, that other Watt or Heyward, Jaylen Warren, and possibly Kenny. Harris might be beyond saving.

Stillers can find and draft receivers with talent. But, the “Jack Torrence Meltdown Probability Matrix” section of the scouts’ assessment reads, “tastes great, less filling.”

Redshirt

Agreed. Chemistry is the key ingredient to a good team. Say what you want about the Bengals losing five straight wild card games between 2011-2015, but there’s a reason why the early 2010s Bengals team went to the playoffs five straight years and the 2000s Bengals only made it twice, despite having a far better quarterback and talent overall.

2Pack

I catch the endings of these fresh having just woken up. Over pre run coffee they are usually tolerable, even this one. But I can imagine that late night when tired and vulnerable, they could be simply exhausting.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s exhausting when you’re a fan of one of the teams and that team just makes stupid mistakes that costs them games.

WCS

Seriously. That’s Josh McDaniels’ jorb, and it’s the one thing he’s really good at!

2Pack

Thankfully this is still a thing around here in the warmer months. Helmet laws now mitigate some of the effect, but it’s still some noticeable eye candy on the street.

FB_IMG_1701946221877.jpg
WCS

Another THE GREATEST GAME from the Stillers.

Tree’s going to be beef jerky-salty this week.

Gumbygirl

Welp, that was hideous.

fleshwound_NPG

it’s called hook and lateral, old man

Recovery Whiskey

Herb Street being ratioed pretty hard on the tweeters today for suggestion that this is a great defensive battle and thus worth watching.

https://twitter.com/kirkherbstreit/status/1732822675989446976?t=Qpfa8CqK0Qq1CK_Nvr2VhQ

herodotus450

I’m afraid we’re gonna have to kick you out the club for improper use of the term “ratioed.” The only current acceptable use is by comically misspelling is to imply your derision to new terms and fads. Other uses must be approved before hand by the Tripartite Council which is unfortunately unfilled at the moment. To appeal please submit form 56d with the $500 appeals fee in check, money order, or lottery tickets.

Recovery Whiskey

Thought my misspelling quota was calling him Herb Street. I’ll work on it.

fleshwound_NPG

god bless kissin titties for almost giving his former bears a mortal lock for the #1 overall pick

like lovie before him in houston last year, another former bear launches a javelin missile at other tanks

ThePirateSloth

Well that was just stupid.

WCS

PRAISE BLEERGH

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Greetings from Japan!

I’m a little hungover.

Col. Duke LaCross

So is everyone on the field.

WCS

Tomlin Voodoo is real.

There’s a mathematical formula to prove it.

ThePirateSloth

Ace, maven, guru.

Good old Al is busting out his thesaurus tonight.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m not going to be even a little surprised if neither team scores a single point in the 2nd half.

blaxabbath

Defenses score 21-10 in the second half.

….

Yeah, I said it.

blaxabbath

Really, Al? Still chuckling just thinking about Zeke jumping in the Salvation Army bucket?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Eh, better than Brent Musburger, who is still spanking it to footage of A.J. McCarron’s girlfriend.

Gumbygirl

.

Scuzzlebutt2 (2).png
WCS

Hey, kids, it’s TV’s Patrick Duffy!

Gumbygirl

Wrong leg, but you know what I meant!

blaxabbath

“I’M GETTING CLOOOOOOSSSEEEE…..”

-B Musburger

blaxabbath

I just tuned in. Richard Sherman is the whitest man i have ever heard speak.

Redshirt

Oh, God. The We’re On To Cincinnati Game.

Redshirt

The Football Gods demand another QB Blood Sacrifice!!!

ThePirateSloth

comment image

ThePirateSloth

It does not matter how old I am, nothing will ever stop my brain from panicking AHHHH A SPIDER AHHHH when that string from the basement light bulb lightly brushes my hair.

jjfozz

If I see a millipede or centipede, I scream like a 4 year old girl. Christ I hate those things.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I see small centipedes all the time when I’m gardening so I’m inured to them, but big ones creep me the fuck out.

Doktor Zymm

Earwigs. Ugh.

BugEyedBoo

I’m with you. The worst.

Gumbygirl

Oh, that reminds me. The other night at the Stevie Nicks show, a cricket landed on my leg and I yeeted it off me right onto the neck if the lady sitting in front of me. Which caused me to laugh hysterically because A: she didn’t notice, and B: marijuana.

WCS

tWBS is going to give Jon Rahm trench mouth. I really believe he’d have tracked down Greg Norman, just to try to punch him as hard as possible.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/golf/jon-rahm-is-set-to-join-saudi-backed-liv-golf/ar-AA1l9kK3?ocid=winp1taskbar&cvid=3fd7e162d8d647c8ce7ea60e53b7d887&ei=12

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought the PGA sold out to the Saudis already, didn’t they combine the tours?

Col. Duke LaCross

Maybe he just wants to beat the shit out of Dustin Johnson one more time.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want to see Belichick turn back the clock to 2007, just for one night.

jjfozz

A younger, happier asshole.

WCS

Younger is right.

Brick Meathook

View circa 1932 showing the working model built for King Kong at RKO being transported by flatcar to another filming location.
A huge bust of King Kong’s head, neck, and upper chest was made of wood, cloth, rubber, and bearskin. Inside the structure, metal levers, hinges, and an air compressor were operated by three men to control the mouth and facial expressions. Its fangs were 10 inches in length and its eyeballs 12 inches in diameter. Its scale, if fully realized, would have made Kong thirty to forty feet tall. The film production took more than a year. The native village and great wall scenes were shot at the Culver Studios on Washington Blvd. The landing on ‘Skull Island’ was filmed at San Pedro, near Los Angeles Harbor, the mountains were painted on glass. The interior of the ‘New York’ theatre, in which Kong is exhibited, is Los Angeles’ Shrine Auditorium.

comment image

jjfozz

Youngest Fozz Spawn, notice the six pack, just like his old man.
comment image