Well, lookee here! They’re not the best games but at least we have a choice. (unless one is being hosted on the Alabama Outdoor Network or some other weird spot in the U.S.) I’m not going to look an early Christmas present in the mouth though.
Fallout:
-Everyone wants to make a point about Patty and Andy’s post-game interviews throwing the refs under the bus but the choice was that or throwing Toney there and I saw the wagons get circled. I don’t really care about Andy’s position that much but I think Mahomes is for the most part a standup guy that will most likely back down from his take. I’d also like to point out that Toney is a cancer but we have a bit of history there so I’ll shut it.
-They Shoot QB’s, Don’t They?: More guys go down again this week. Herbert may be playing some 8th dimensional chess, getting injured, likely missing a few games and ensuring that Staley gets fired.
-That Voodoo You Do: In case you were doubting Tomlin’s esoteric beliefs and their effect on the world/standings, the Steelers edged back into a playoff spot by not playing. That is one hell of a Bitch’s Brew our friend has concocted. He did get an assist from losses by the Texans and Colts.
-It’s not time to panic just yet but don’t tell that to an Eagles fan that has seen his team lose in the last two weeks by a combined score of 75-32. The league hasn’t “figured them out”, they just need to re-set and clean up some sloppy play.
to The Games!
Packers/Giants:
-“Tommy Cutlet” is going to weave some more magic and the whole of Jersey’s Italian community is behind him. I won’t be surprised if he ends up on the injury report, the first player ever to be listed as having “severely pinched cheeks”, after all, he’s such a good boy!
-Green Bay’s O currently ranks 17th but not over the last four weeks or so. It’s kinda weird that they’ve put up points in a fairly narrow range-20, 23, 23, 29 and 27.
-“Rashan Gary Eat Tonight!”: He’s leading the team in sacks and the Giants have given up 69 so far. DeVito’s pocket awareness is a work in progress and I think his understanding of the speed of the game needs some catching up as well.
-The Giants have a shot if they can continue gathering INT’s-although eight in the last three fixtures seems an anomaly to me.
Titans/Fins:
-King Henry does well in prime time games-he averages 94.7 under the limelight.
-Tyreek’s receiving prop tonight is an otherworldly 105.5! Has there ever been a higher one? I snickered when he said he was shooting for 2,000. I may have been the silly one. Oh, by the way, the Titans are dead last defending outside receivers.
-Achane’s running prop sits at a mere 56.5. When he touches the ball more than two times he averages 73 yards.
Bring it.
Oof, painfully imploding Tits
Don T Reacts Reasonably: Part Trey
packers have an invincibility cheat code that works so long as its not january
I really thought they’d lose the Rodgers Rate
*not valid against Achilles’ tendons and steel beams
Okay, now Don T Reacts Reasonably
Accidental onside kick, lol
Don T reacts reasonably Part 2
gettleman is gonna haunt this franchise for a LONG time
DeVito has to quit rubbing his hair before touching the football.
Bananacakes! Get your Bananacakes here!
Jeebus criminey, VEPs
Did Saquon’s wrist spontaneously break?!
Wow, this is the problem with holding the ball so far above the field.
What time is Mike McDaniel’s curfew? Cause it’s 11 o’clock
This shit is exactly why I don’t like Redzone. I’m bored, here’s my cat worshipping Baal.
RedZone at least has Scott “definitely not on stimulants” Hanson screaming to keep things moving.
This stuff here is like the last 3 guys at a dinner party decided to stay late and take over your living room
Tua looks fine after a blow to the head and Tyreek is somehow back and looking fine after what looked like a gnarly leg injury. Could the Miami medical team be turning the players into zombies?
They are revolutionizing the miraculous treatments focused on players’ backs.
Maybe they imported some magic soccer spray.
HAIL SHANK’LOR
Fullback hurdling a guy should be extra something, or maybe a prop bet that pays bank
If we’re going for quantity over quality, we need to play three teams at the same time.
Defense has 8 players from each team that doesn’t have the ball with separate playcalls.
Offense has 16 players on the field and 7-8 offensive linemen (can alternate).
Nine-man Volleyball.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/9-man
For how long and how much is Danny Dimebag signed for?
4yrs/160MM. This is the first year.
No fucking way? Bahahahahahahahaha
My first thought was just simply lol
They can cut him after next year. That would be 2yrs/82MM and 22MM dead cap hit in 2025. So yeah, lofl
that Duke edumacation sure done paid off for the lad
Dumbest contract ev…
Oh, sorry. Didn’t see you there Mr. Ohtani.
QB are so overpaid
Don T Reacts Reasonably?
They should open it up to us spectators at home to vote on what is a catch cuz that was neat and it should count anyway
“Yeah, and penalties too!” – P. Mahomes wearing a fake moustache.
Having the munchies is expensive up here.
Have you tried a plain homemade snocone?
With frozen water croutons.
I underestimated myself. I need a god damned skidoo to get to the convenience store and then another mortgage.
Wait, you are close enough to a store not to need a plane on snow skids? Do you even Arctic?
It’s fucking windy and it is up a hill. It is -25 C now, and I just started eating my lunch stuff. Now I am done my bottle of wine and time for sleep. I do have another long fucking day tomorrow. But 10 hrs work, and I installed a 2 hour break for my team who I travelled with midday so we can go out and see some shit instead of like today working all day. 4 hrs of light here right now. Museum, visitor centre, Arctic Char tacos. Back to work. At night, Nunavut Brewing.
Not gonna lie: arctic char tacos has me intrigued.
https://spoonuniversity.com/recipe/how-to-make-native-eskimo-ice-cream
Made this as a kid. https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/how-to-make-snow-ice-cream-recipe/
good to see Father Guido Sarducci has a grandson
I had forgotten how fucking funny that bit was.
DeVito keeps that up he’ll be a made man in no time
hes gonna billy batts the hell outta danny dimes
Your racism and bigotry towards Italians is loathsome, sir.
Do you know what FIAT stands for?
Fling It Again Tommy
Holy shit, are the Vertically Enhanced Persons GOOD now??
goodfella jeff hostetler can ball. am shocked as the next person.
I’m quartered backing over here!
Tomlin’s got to be having a stroke if he’s watching this. DeVito was selling cigarettes to tourists in Palermo three years ago, and had literally never seen a football until he got off the ship on Ellis Island. Now look at him!
I’m watching the other game, but gonna go out on a limb and say ‘no’
Hey, its-a-me, Tommy Cutlet!
Danny had to go take a nap for a bit. Don’t worry about it, kid.
I like this Danny Devito
Man they reissued Plaxico’s jersey?
Man, straight shooter like that, you’d think they’d retire the jersey
They had to reload at WR
Sometimes you have to take a shot at it
Manningcast is definitely quantity over quality this week
just got anyone name Taylor that would appear on their program
Did someone mention Derrick Henry’s giant eyes?
Look, sometimes you have to plow at night and you need the bigger headlights
Lol
You know, I tend to think all chest tattoos look like the cover for a shitty final fantasy game, but a fucking deer?
i swear this devito thing, family/agent and all, has to be a bit of some sort
Central casting
Absolutely
I am fucking here for it.
Grease up that football
With Tommy DeVito playing, yeah, it’s greasy on that field.
BIG MUFF
Because we’re making fun of peyton:
busting with the boys podcast? manning cast going public access quality booking agent
Refs show no respect for Tommy Cutlet. Lot of dead horse heads are going to be distributed this evening.
I saw the last play of the GB game before the half. Otherwise, I’ll just hanging out watching a Trailer Park Boys Xmas movie.
Apple cup shout out!
How long before Berman fucking dies?
It was already too long, 15 years ago
With Kissinger gone maybe we can get Berman into queue
He took a number from the butchers reel, its deux deux deux.
Boomer looks like he woke up from a bender
“Looks like”
Woke up from a nap, turned on MNF, Aikmen is bitching about the refs taking too gotdamn long to make a call.
Time to turn the tv back off.
But there is two mediocre games!
Tits Up
Sonya Blade has enhanced herself.
Showed Ms Whiskey the trick, suggested she could give it a shot.
Sofa’s already made up.
“So in conclusion, in lieu of Lethal Injection, my client will take this your honor.”
“This requires careful deliberation. I’ll be in my chambers.”
Who are these two fucking hammerheads calling the Miami game?
You know, I get what you’re saying for Peyton, but eli, nor so much
Gayle King and Oprah.
DHop with a hell of a catch
https://www.cnn.com/2023/12/11/world/skull-pliosaur-fossil-documentary-intl-scli-scn/index.html
Go back in time and kill these things out of existence again.
Okay what is johnny cutlass?
I feel dumb that eli knows a joke I don’t
It’s an older comic book character; basically, he’s a guy who complains about his bad luck whenever he plays games, especially in “leagues” involving “fantasy” and everyone feels sorry for him, not because of his bad luck, but because his name was…it was you.
Bro I wish I had the spare time to stalk somebody
JUST WANTED YOU TO FEEL SPECIAL AND THAT’S HOW YOU THANK ME
Oh trust me, you guys make me feel special
I don’t know, but that’s an epic porn star name.
“Johnny Cutlass Meets the Pink Pirates”
The program director at ESPN must’ve gotten a million dollars.
https://imgflip.com/i/891hb5
This is the dumbest shit since the premier league went back to grouping mid day games after covid.
I’m more lost right now than Trent Green every time he enters a room.
‘scampers’
Like a mouse
Or a shih tzu?
Cutie! That’s kind of a short haircut for December, definitely sweater weather!
With climate change it doesn’t snow till around new years anymore. Me and the pops are legit to lazy to brush him,
I tried trimming him once with clippers, nicked up his little back legs so bad I’m scared to try it again, and I can’t even try to trim the face