We have lots of Premiership fun, lots of super-duper mediocre JV NFL exhibitions. Our esteemed scotchnaut will be here shortly to cover the real entertainment product of the day (so happy the Donks got picked for late night). Without further ado, this what yew git:
You can sleep in, no early bird fixture. USA televises City of Men hosting Uncle Woy’s creaky-ass Palace (10:00), but I recommend streaming Red-Hot Mighty Whitey away to reeling Geordie Arabia. Much like Men Untied, the House of Saud crashed out of European play entirely (no parachute to Zooropa when you finish bottom of the group). It’s delightful. Equally red-hot Cherries host Luton Town as well, and could be worth a watch.
Spotlight Dance is…the Sean Dyche homecoming? Anyway, it’s Everton away to Burnley (12:30, NBC), which us about on par with JV exhibition play – but certainly not the NFL slate. I’ll keep it on the tablet, muted.
Loads of crucial matchups on Sunday, with USA’s doubleheader of Arsenal hosting Brighton (9:00) followed by the aforementioned Men Untied taking their Bataan Death March through Anfield (11:30). I can’t even watch to point and laugh, as the goddamned vile Redshite will be the beneficiaries of Red Devil dysfunction. Meh.
On to the exhibitioning!
Myrtle Beach Has a Goddamned Bowl Bowl – Georgia Southern (-3.5) v. Ohio (11:00, ESPN)
There is no college in Myrtle Beach (sadly, I’ve been there this century, kids’ birthday request), so this is being played at Coastal Carolina’s stadium in Conway, South Cakalaky. Imagine going to a game named after this White Trash Mecca, having to play Ohio not-State or Directional Georgia, you can’t even see the goddamned ocean, AND kickoff is before noon? Maybe make some better life choices next time, bruh.
N’Awlins By Way of Military Industrial Complex Bowl – Jacksonville State (-3.5) v. Louisiana-Lafayettes (2:15, ESPN)
Don’t you think these games would be more interesting if they made these AI-generated sides play against real ones? Jacksonville State is where Rich Rodriguez landed with a thud, in case that is useful for bar trivia.
Hipster Dickwad Avocado Toast Bowl – Miami-OH (+5.5) v. Appalachain State (3:30, ABC)
It’s weird to Hippo that Happy Appy will be on broadcast network TV. Not that anyone will be watching, mind. Well, maybe in prisons that ain’t got cable nor Wi-Fi. Watch this be the only fun game of the day, now.
We Finally Had a Qualifying Team From Our State Bowl – New Mexico State (-3.5) v. Fresno State (5:45, ESPN)
Not much of a road trip for Jerry Kill’s crew, mind. But I’m reasonably sure they will have 90% of the four of five hundred fans in attendance. NMSU beat Auburn, so I guess they have MOAR on their resume than the Bulldogs, if one is gamblin.
RIP Jimmy Kimmel Bowl Bowl – California-Los Angeles (-3.5) v. Boise State (7:30, ABC)
Westwood Klavern can just walk to their exhibition destination. I guess this is a pretty nice break from an Idaho winter, so I will pick Boise to cover and win outright. Fuck off, I am high as balls. But not Balls.
Can One Really Sponsor Independence? Bowl – California (+2.5) v. Texas Tech (9:15, ESPN)
I thought they always put a directional Louisiana/Alabama/Mississippi team in this exhibition, to ensure attendance beyond hobos getting out of the rain? Or maybe Shreveport is a lot kewler than I give it credit for. Anyway, Guns Up!! will give the galdurn hippies some free speedholes. This one ain’t even be close.
ONANA GET TEH FOOK IN!!!
Game post is up and
runningjogging.I’m kind of hungover, but I’ve already cleared the kitchen and got the dishwasher loaded up and running, stripped the bed and flipped the mattress, got a load of laundry going, and now it’s time to make a dump run, (sorry, Town of Mansfield, “transfer station run”), and then go to the gym.
I’m frankly not this productive when I’m not hungover. I suspect I’m trying to prove something, but I’m not sure who since I’m the only one home.
The Dr. Mrs. deposited the vacuum in front of the couch before heading upstairs to exercise. The subtext as to her expectations was very clear. My hangover, however, is insisting that “she just wants you to change the bag, probably.”
I think she just didn’t want you to be alone. The two of you should watch the games in companionable silence.
the Germans are disappoint at your version of “dump run”
Guess the Cherries – Luton game got Hamlin’ed. Hope brother man is OK.
Apparently has a heart issue and something like this happened before, but reports are he’s awake and alert.
Not criticizing but perhaps after two such events he should probably consider a different line of employment.
I was thinking the same thing while the Rebecca Lowe et al were discussing it.
You’re only gonna get so many hints, fella.
yeah, when they paused the game and the camera fixed on a priest in attendance, I reckoned it was serious
Yikes.
“Is there a priest in the house” is probably not what you want to hear whilst lying on the pitch.
I didn’t realize the clergy attended games other than the ones featuring our beloved Young Boys.
I have no idea what Baby Puncher is wearing, but assume he must have lost a bet.
To a baby.
I hate when there are so many games to watch and the first thing the wife says when we get up is, “We have so much to do, we will be busy the entire day”.
What’s this ‘we’ shit, kemo sabe?
There’s almost too much sports going on today. Almost.
I have to go to Target, but when I get back it’s football all day! Not gonna lie, last Saturday made me a little twitchy.
That was me, if you sub in “a metric fuckton” for “a little”
After our tour of Miami U. as a prospective college, my daughter was convinced that it was full of pod people. I didn’t necessarily think that was a bad thing, but I wasn’t going to push it.
The Miami in Florida or the one in Ohio?
If it’s the one in Florida, didn’t they used to call it J. Crew U?
I’ve never really connected Michael Irvin with J. Crew.
Stabbing implements and mountains of cocaine, on the other hand…
I meant Ohio. Fuck, i’m tired.
“University of” == FL, “Miami U.” == OH.
where did Little Boo decide to go?
University of Cincinnati. Magna Cum Laude in Psychology. She’s working as a Research Assistant at OSU, but is planning now to get a Masters in Public Health.
Gonna join the Deep State, eh?
ruh roh, Raul. YOU NEVAR go ass to mouth!
https://youtu.be/SfO2cgrYH08?si=44NsiDgNQoeHQD1R
I like to pretend we live in a universe where Clerks never had any sequels.
A friend of mine feels that way about The Matrix. Watch the first one then stop. Because if you watch #2 then you have to watch #3. And #3 is really bad.
#2 isn’t all that good either. But the scenes in the middle, from the restaurant with Monica Bellucci all the way through the highway scenes with the evil twins, are top notch.
There are parts of The Matrix sequels I enjoy in their individual moments, (the battle for the bridge is amazing), but overall I agree with your friend. And yes, if Monica Bellucci is on the screen I am going to stop and watch.
I enjoy Clerks 2 for the ridiculousness it is.
#MeToo
We should come up with some names for the Varsity Bowls playing todays. My suggestions:
Backup QB Bowl: MIN-CIN – self-explanatory
Horseshoe Bowl: PIT-IND – horseshoes are made out of steel
Thursday Night Football Bowl: DEN-DET – because this matchup just feels like a TNF game
I have returned from my arctic adventure. In reading above I didn’t know Jimmy Kemmel died.
Sweet Jesus do I want to beat the Saudis.
he didn’t, they just don’t call it the Jimmy Kimmel Bowl no MOAR
“Hipster Dickwad Alvarado Toast Bowl”… Sometimes Hippo simply cracks me up.
well some things are pure and some things are right
but the kids are still standing with their arms folded tight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNINCykhR3I
And Ed Sheeran goes wild in Ipswich! 2-2!
Today’s breather from work stuff: chores! Wu.
Don’t think I’ll get to watch hawt NFL action today, but I’ll light a candle for the Stillers. And would bet on Bengals -3 and Donks Wooo! +4.5.
Do you cut your own gifs for your posts? Or do you choose them from a library? I want to get better at making pieces that flow from text > gif > jpeg > video like yours do for future teaching endeavors, and I have time right now to work at it, but I’m woefully technically deficient. Working with a MacBook Air. Do I need to purchase some sort of software or program? Oh, also I’m a dope.
I think WCS is the xpert there. I also am a dope
I get gifs from giphy.com, copy / paste