Your Monday Night Football Open Thread

So much going on, let’s head on over to…

Fallout:

-Birds Are People Too!: James Audubon would be pissed! The Niners have beaten the Seahawks, Eagles, Seahawks again and the Cardinals the last four weeks. Up next week? The Ravens.

-As per his namesake, King Henry made some history yesterday-by running 16 times for 9 yards and catching 4 balls for 1 yard, he became the first player ever to get 20 touches and not reach 15 yards. Asked how he’ll prepare for next week he said, “We’ll stiffen our sinews, and summon up the blood and go once again into the breech!”

-Post-Game Injury Report: Truth Biscuit has come down with a contusion of the ego after discovering that Mason Rudolph gets the start next week.

-Here’s some fantasy nobodies that grabbed precious scores helping you to lose your fantasy tilt-Keith Kirkwood, Ko Kieft, David Moore, Jimmy Graham, (he was something a long time ago) and Elijah Higgins. Banish them from my sight!

-Arthurs Protect Their Own: That must be the explanation why Blank hasn’t fired Smith. Despite his on-going befuddling player usage (Bijan with just 8 carries, no passes to London in the first half, staying with Ridder long past the expiry date) the Falcons head coach was still in the running for a playoff spot. Not any more. This rush-first team averaged 1.7 vs the 1-11 Panthers. What a travesty.

To The Game!

Eagles/Seahawks:

-Hey look, it’s the Philadelphia Slumpers vs the Seattle Strugglers!

-Hurts has flu-like symptoms, but it’s not the flu! Geno’s groin makes him a game-timer as well and practice squadder qb Sean Mannion has been activated so I don’t know what to tell you about the starting qb’s.

-Matt is Back, Baby!: Retread Patricia will make the defensive calls because Sean Desai is to blame for 3/4’s of the secondary being 30 or older. One thinks that this is the first move before Desai is shuffled out the door post-season.

-Seattle is ninth in the playoff race, having benefited greatly by losses by the Packers, Vikes and Falcons.

Bring it.

 

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Brick Meathook

Late night matzo ball soup tonight

Canter’s Deli

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Gumbygirl
WCS

The Jets have already called Lock’s agent with a five-year, $90 million fully guaranteed deal.

Gumbygirl

And a fluffer.

Don T

Congrats to Weaselo for beating me in FF by 0.10 points. Now please excuse me, Imma commiserate with year 2000 Al Gore. He lost Tennessee, I left Keenan Allen on my lineup. Same thing.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Wait for the Scoring Correction

Senor Weaselo

Don T’s about to beat the shit out of a cardboard cutout of KidVid.

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WCS

Lucky for him, the power doesn’t come back for another two days.

Don T

Hope that screenshot drained your battery. Additionally, 🖕🏼

Senor Weaselo

I’m half-expecting to wake up to an angry WhatsApp message tomorrow morning with swears that I have no idea about, and Google Translate will return me an error message.

Don T

Nah. My stickers game is strong
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Redshirt

2023: The Year of the Backups!

ThePirateSloth

Like the softest of touch

Mr. Ayo

GAME. SET. MATCH.

HOX!!!!!

ThePirateSloth

YES HE DID

ThePirateSloth

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King Hippo

Dragon Status – you know teh drill

WCS

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hippofant

Hahahaha fuck Matt Patricia!

2Pack

Live vote!
This season, parity or parody?

Gumbygirl

Yes.

Senor Weaselo

Can I take option 3, parroty?

Gumbygirl

It’s a party with all yinz, that’s the important thing! Happy Keith Richards’ 80th birthday to us all, cheers, my dears!

2Pack

I’ll allow it.

WCS
Mr. Ayo

NEVER A DOUBT!

Doktor Zymm

Drew lock clock schlock otjher things rhyme with lock

Senor Weaselo

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Don T

Drew Lock has the touch of a just reanimated Frankenstein

Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

Max is best boy, NO ONE DENIES THIS!

King Hippo

Got ’em right where you want ’em, Petey. All Horse Cock Lock can throw is the deep ball!

hippofant

Hilariously true.

Drew Lock is Russel Wilson’s true successor.

Dunstan

Well, damn. Looks like the only thing I have to eat is this leftover charcuterie plate. Whatever shall I do?

Brick Meathook

Don’t eat a plate, man. If you’re short of cash, just buy a tin of tuna, or even cat food if money’s really tight.

Dunstan

You’ve given me a lot to think about. While I drink this glass of wine. The glass is really sharp and crunchy and ouchie though.

Senor Weaselo

You made me have the salami from Thanksgiving! Okay, just the Calabrese salami.

ThePirateSloth

Throw the gotdamn ball Pete

King Hippo

I think he must be reading the scoreboard wrongly.

Mr. Ayo

Well, he has no choice now.

Col. Duke LaCross

My little brother playing his wife and it’s way closer than it needs to be.

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WCS

Loser sleeps in the shed?

Col. Duke LaCross

He could’ve been ruthless and picked up Lock himself off of waivers this morning, but wanted to at least keep the prospect of him moving into the shed in doubt.

Doktor Zymm

I need to figure out how to do this thing where it’s actually mostly my fault but somehow I still get to be rightfully upset by it

ThePirateSloth

I’m trying to be calm and rational.

WCS

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Petey’s just coaching from the future, apparently. He knew that was going to happen.

Doktor Zymm

Where is y’all? No enjoyment of Petey’s minor humiliations?

WCS

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Gatoraids

Eli’s doing good work this game, but already won my consolation bracket for the week. Still mad had to start Howell cuz of Hurts questionable questionability

Mr. Ayo

The KRAKEN actually made it to overtime, so I was watching that.

They lost in OT of course. But a much better result than awaits these HOX.

Also, Ole Petey needs to hire two new independent assistants:

1) Red Assistant. Only responsibility is throwing the red challenge flag.
2) TO Assistant. Only responsibility is calling time outs.

Petey has no say, authority, or override ability on either assistant.

King Hippo

Fixture is still on, but I am mostly Football Managering

Doktor Zymm

Faire

hippofant

I was hoping for a major humiliation of Patricia, so this is just disappointment for me.

WCS

Petey’s been huffing jet fuel tonight, and it can melt brain cells.

Don T

Evenin’. I see Hurts has recovered ably from scrofula.
THROW IT TO DK GODDAMMITT

ThePirateSloth

Yup, I giggled.

Doktor Zymm

Ok, yes he’s in a lot of pain, but also got a nice quad stretch in there

Gatoraids

Philly with the achilles push

Doktor Zymm

Lock kinda tried to run but just ran into dudes

Redshirt

Better than Nick Mullens fetal position-meets-pillbug version of the Tush Push.

Doktor Zymm

I want to know the backstory on that chunky santa dude in the seahawks underpants onesie

Doktor Zymm

Also that chick with the foam bird hat! There was crafting time spent on that

Redshirt

I want to know how Santa Claus trained a young Bruce Wayne while he was training to be Batman.

Redshirt
Redshirt

Peyton Manning looks like he’s viewing this game in Room 101.

Gumbygirl

When Christian Mc Caffrey was on earlier, he looked like one of those Old Masters paintings, it was so dark where he was. Looked like a talking Rembrandt.

WCS

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Old Master painting?

BugEyedBoo

Chiaroscuro McCaffrey

Doktor Zymm

His greatest fear is his little bro having moar rings

litre_cola

Pearl Jam bumper music. Where they from again?

litre_cola

There’s the Eagles D I expected.

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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