Your Xmas Eve Morning Slate of NFL Football

These ramblings will be as skinny as the games on offer today because we’re opening presents, cooking stuff and then heading out to the SIL’s. Why are we opening presents? Well, Fractured Skull Boy has a girlfriend and despite the fact they’re ‘not serious’ (she’s practically moved in) he wants to spend Xmas morning with her family. Jeez.

To The Games!

Browns/Texans:

Stroud is still out and DeMeco is right to protect his precious new asset. So that leaves Case Keenum to duplicate his surprise win last week. He’s got quite the task vs that Cleveland D which has been historically stingy but will get some help from Nico Collins.

Commies/Jets:

New York is on their fourth starting qb and combined they haven’t passed for double digit TD’s yet. Guh. No one should have to watch this.

Seahawks/Titans:

Levis didn’t get any reps this week so it’s Tanny Time! in Tennessee today. Just another slap in the face for a franchise that is out of the playoffs after underperforming most of the year. Seattle is still in the playoff muddle but I’m Team Rams all the way this year.

Colts/Falcons:

Sorry Indy but you don’t get Pittman or Moss but JT’s timing is perfect. It shouldn’t matter though because I think that Atlanta players have tuned their coach out by now. The Colts have a 19 game streak of grabbing a turnover and I’m sure Heineke will be obliging.

Packers/Panthers:

Green Bay looked sorta okay when they were 6-6 but then they went and dropped two straight and now the shine is off. Carolina hasn’t scored 20 points in quite some time-who do they think they are, the DeVito-less Giants from earlier this season?

Lions/Vikes:

Now that Detroit has breathed life into the division a game like this late in the season is actually watchable! Who’d a thunk it? Rook rb Gibbs has finally earned Campbell’s trust (ie. learned to pass block?) and his usage continues to rise. Problems are still rampant on the D end of things so Chandler could dominate.

Get after it.

 

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ThePirateSloth

Holy fuck, what a catch

ThePirateSloth

omg Lions. FALL ON THE GOTDAMN BALL

Doktor Zymm

Getting home to watch the last few minutes of the early games and there’s some…unexpectedness there

fleshwound_NPG

panthers with a clutch last second tank!

fleshwound_NPG

jordan love giving his friend justin fields the biggest xmas present ever (killing the panthers’ tank, keeping fields in chicago)

fleshwound_NPG

refball: and we took that personally

(that wasnt a catch really)

ThePirateSloth

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Mr. Ayo

NEVER A DOUBT! HOX!

Gumbygirl

That is me right now! Survived the grocery store- yes. I’m aware I’m an idiot- and currently pleasantly toasted. This is my front door, festive as fuck!

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ThePirateSloth

I’m eating an edible and then braving the grocery store in a bit.

Gumbygirl

It will be a zoo, the edible should help.

ThePirateSloth

Of course this is how the Seahawks game is gonna end. It’s gonna be forcing runs until panic mode throw a 30yd incomplete pass play.

ThePirateSloth

I’m happy to be wrong!

litre_cola

Seattle DFOers. I need a Pike fish t shirt for a baby/toddler. Can anyone make this happen?

litre_cola

My buddy just threw his baby at me like we were in Pike’s

Gumbygirl

Who among us hasn’t tossed a baby? I’m pretty sure I’m past the statute of limitations .

Horatio Cornblower

Is there another reason to have a baby?

The Maestro

Mike Tolbert… not the Little Drummer Boy we needed, but the one we all deserved.

The Maestro

Good afternoon, all. Happy Christmas Eve.

Currently watching my sister’s tiny dog with the craziest case of the zoomies I’ve ever seen. Gotta get this thing onto an illegal racetrack somewhere soon.

Brick Meathook

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BugEyedBoo

Highly recommended.

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litre_cola

Need another Goff throwing down to make 180

litre_cola

Flacco elite.

Redshirt

Texans participation trophy.

Redshirt

(Bengals fans hung over and looking at playoff standings and the Browns and Colts scores)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMRrNY0pxfM&pp=ygUfc28geW91cmUgc2F5aW5nIHRoZXJlcyBhIGNoYW5jZQ%3D%3D

fleshwound_NPG

spirit of giving: the texas and clots are trying to give away their potential playoff spots to give the stillers life

Redshirt

…or keeping Bengals fans hopes up from having the stripes knocked off them yesterday.

Insensitive jerks!

Senor Weaselo

The important question: Jacket or no jacket? I’m gonna say no jacket for 9:00, but yes for midnight.

fleshwound_NPG

the only xmas gift i look forward to every year is the fact that in about a week is my yearly end of year vacation

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King Hippo

Hippo also uses December to add to his festive layer of fat!

fleshwound_NPG

work’s xmas bonus is literally a box of meat from a local meat market, PLUS still have the ham they gave me at thanksgiving which sits frozen and ready to be made for said vacation

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King Hippo

again, I needed that LAST WEEK, JJ

Cecil Rhodes

My word! Have I had a trifle too much sherry already, or is Joe Flacco truly an elite quartered-back?

King Hippo

I think u meen a Elite quartered back but yeah

fleshwound_NPG

it was funny watching the brownies lose with asshole watson with his zillion dollar contract and his undisciplined dick

it almost makes up for it watching them make this contending run with the God of Elite

ThePirateSloth

Nothing like your phone dying because you didn’t think to plug it in before bed, so I’m an hour late.

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fleshwound_NPG

falcons drive given 15 yards due to a hard-ish hit
falcons drive extended after a missed FG due to offsides (fox refusing to show it)
falcons get another FG try a few plays later

these 3 points brought to you in part by fanduel

King Hippo

Everything’s not gon’ be alright, Rockabye

Brick Meathook

I just made an outstanding post in the Wall Street Journal comments section, where I made a concise comparison between the Fed’s interest rate policy viz inflationary tendencies and a great big dick. You really should go check it out if you like monetary policy. Thank you and God bless us all, each and every one. (loud fart)

King Hippo

Look, I am a liberal. I ain’t supposed to understand how money works.

Senor Weaselo

None of these Jets scores are to Garrett, ffs!

King Hippo

girls, girls, GIRLS!

Senor Weaselo

According to the parentals he’s a nice guy (source: the parentals for a few years got invites to John Edward’s Christmas party and met him)

King Hippo

Needed that LAST WEEK, Breece.

/at least Buddy and Uncle Ed are getting a show today

litre_cola

Mulled wine and prosecco, delish.

King Hippo

Monkey Trev, all your fantasy points are belong to US!

fleshwound_NPG

yuck

-only got one game
-falcons
-schlereth announcing

ArmedandHammered

Stocking full of coal.

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

Scott Hanson, not the Santa we deserve, but the Santa we NEED!

King Hippo

There’s a new mix today for the 15:00 RedZone countdown. It’s like Santa Jesus God muzak, but from a rave.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Greetings from a swamp.

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King Hippo

You and Uncle Ed made it to the game? HUZZAH!

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus, Commies v. Jets?

Didn’t realize you were that into BDSM.

King Hippo

oh, HONEY!

Senor Weaselo

Ayyyyyyyy!

ARE YOU READY FOR A SHITSHOW?

King Hippo

pot roast in the instapot, per kid’s request. So excite for some Donks WOO! at least one of my spawn is in Mile High tonight.

Brick Meathook

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Redshirt

If I was the head coach, I’d tell my players not to help this guy out. He started this fight, he can end it.

https://athlonsports.com/college-football/college-football-bowl-game-south-alabama-eastern-michigan-ends-in-brawl-after-cheap-shot

King Hippo

oh Heroic RedZone Muzak, how I will miss you when you depart for the hellish spring/summer

Redshirt

They should keep the music playing with a countdowns to the draft, training camp, preseason and week 1.

King Hippo

I think technically it IS on all off-season, but I like the countdown to draft especially

BugEyedBoo

I’ve got this on deck for Christmas present unwrapping for tomorrow.

https://www.ohdanishbakery.com/danish-coffee-cakes/almond-custard-seven-sisters-coffee-cake

Supper tomorrow is going to be takeout Chinese.

ArmedandHammered

I love those.

yeah right

Mother sauce is on day 2. Next gotta press some pasta, maybe a trip to the store then eldest right and the girls are stopping by on Christmas eve.

I feel practically festive!

Game Time Decision

Off to make the brine for the turkey and then cranberry sauce
Let the cooking being

litre_cola

I am here to laugh at Chelsea!!! Bahahahahahaha suck it Todd Boeeehly.

Happy Xmas, chanukah, kwanzaa, festivus, solstice, day drinking, or whatever you celebrate.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll tell my Dad you say “hi”

2Pack

Merry Christmas everyone. Buon Natale tutti!

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Game Time Decision

Congrats to all that made it through the LDBC!

litre_cola

Wasn’t on the playlist at the resto! Huzzah!

Game Time Decision

Noooooiiiccce

Gumbygirl

I made it!

yeah right

Survived!

ArmedandHammered

I made it! I enjoy this tradition although it makes going out in public even more terrifying than usual.

Horatio Cornblower

Alas I never had a chance

Don T

Seasons greetings!
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Redshirt

Joseph in an alternate universe where the Angel of the Lord forgot to tell him about God using Mary as a surrogate.

Maury you are NOT the Father Best Celebration with Backflip (youtube.com)

litre_cola

Best liar ever! Immaculate I tell you! It didn’t even touch the sides!!!

Game Time Decision

Birds aren’t real

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Good morning everybody from Fort Rikki (i.e. the five minutes I get alone in the bathtroom before the Dr. Mrs. comes in and yells at me for hiding from everyone)!

ArmedandHammered

Maybe she just needs to vacuum the bathroom. I have found hiding out in the car works as well.

Horatio Cornblower

You need to buy toilet paper in bulk so that you can build the fort from floor-to-ceiling and wall-to-wall.

Senor Weaselo

Just remind her that her authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass and you’re good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHAHEhhJisk

King Hippo

all it takes is ONE shitting on the living room floor and you’re bathroom sanctuary will NEVAR again be questioned!

Redshirt

With the Bengals season losing cabin pressure, I’m going back to my usual postseason bandwagon, pure unadulterated c̵̢͍̲̭̰͐͆͒̾͛̎̔̉͝͠h̸̦́̒â̷͓̈̿́̆͌ǫ̶̤̂̀̈́̑̔s̴̫̬̀̃̀͠.

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Horatio Cornblower

Being Irish-American, my wife has started boiling the corned beef into submission for the Xmas Eve dinner.

I’ve already been refused service at the grocery store because it was too early to buy beer. Stupid Blue Laws.

litre_cola

That is unfreedom like. You should start a convoy and head to the capital.

Redshirt

“…BUT PEACEFULLY AND PATRIOTICALLY!!!!”
-Donny T., FL, Professional NEET

Horatio Cornblower

I just went to the gym and then circled back to the package store so as to buy beer and undo everything I just theoretically gained at the gym.