These ramblings will be as skinny as the games on offer today because we’re opening presents, cooking stuff and then heading out to the SIL’s. Why are we opening presents? Well, Fractured Skull Boy has a girlfriend and despite the fact they’re ‘not serious’ (she’s practically moved in) he wants to spend Xmas morning with her family. Jeez.
To The Games!
Browns/Texans:
Stroud is still out and DeMeco is right to protect his precious new asset. So that leaves Case Keenum to duplicate his surprise win last week. He’s got quite the task vs that Cleveland D which has been historically stingy but will get some help from Nico Collins.
Commies/Jets:
New York is on their fourth starting qb and combined they haven’t passed for double digit TD’s yet. Guh. No one should have to watch this.
Seahawks/Titans:
Levis didn’t get any reps this week so it’s Tanny Time! in Tennessee today. Just another slap in the face for a franchise that is out of the playoffs after underperforming most of the year. Seattle is still in the playoff muddle but I’m Team Rams all the way this year.
Colts/Falcons:
Sorry Indy but you don’t get Pittman or Moss but JT’s timing is perfect. It shouldn’t matter though because I think that Atlanta players have tuned their coach out by now. The Colts have a 19 game streak of grabbing a turnover and I’m sure Heineke will be obliging.
Packers/Panthers:
Green Bay looked sorta okay when they were 6-6 but then they went and dropped two straight and now the shine is off. Carolina hasn’t scored 20 points in quite some time-who do they think they are, the DeVito-less Giants from earlier this season?
Lions/Vikes:
Now that Detroit has breathed life into the division a game like this late in the season is actually watchable! Who’d a thunk it? Rook rb Gibbs has finally earned Campbell’s trust (ie. learned to pass block?) and his usage continues to rise. Problems are still rampant on the D end of things so Chandler could dominate.
Get after it.
Holy fuck, what a catch
omg Lions. FALL ON THE GOTDAMN BALL
Getting home to watch the last few minutes of the early games and there’s some…unexpectedness there
panthers with a clutch last second tank!
jordan love giving his friend justin fields the biggest xmas present ever (killing the panthers’ tank, keeping fields in chicago)
refball: and we took that personally
(that wasnt a catch really)
NEVER A DOUBT! HOX!
That is me right now! Survived the grocery store- yes. I’m aware I’m an idiot- and currently pleasantly toasted. This is my front door, festive as fuck!
I’m eating an edible and then braving the grocery store in a bit.
It will be a zoo, the edible should help.
Of course this is how the Seahawks game is gonna end. It’s gonna be forcing runs until panic mode throw a 30yd incomplete pass play.
I’m happy to be wrong!
Seattle DFOers. I need a Pike fish t shirt for a baby/toddler. Can anyone make this happen?
That is one specifically demanding toddler!
My buddy just threw his baby at me like we were in Pike’s
Who among us hasn’t tossed a baby? I’m pretty sure I’m past the statute of limitations .
Is there another reason to have a baby?
Rockabye is who we thought he was.
Mike Tolbert… not the Little Drummer Boy we needed, but the one we all deserved.
Good afternoon, all. Happy Christmas Eve.
Currently watching my sister’s tiny dog with the craziest case of the zoomies I’ve ever seen. Gotta get this thing onto an illegal racetrack somewhere soon.
Highly recommended.
That is a fantastic series.
Need another Goff throwing down to make 180
Flacco elite.
Texans participation trophy.
“And here’s your gun.”
-Texans Participation Trophy
(Bengals fans hung over and looking at playoff standings and the Browns and Colts scores)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMRrNY0pxfM&pp=ygUfc28geW91cmUgc2F5aW5nIHRoZXJlcyBhIGNoYW5jZQ%3D%3D
spirit of giving: the texas and clots are trying to give away their potential playoff spots to give the stillers life
…or keeping Bengals fans hopes up from having the stripes knocked off them yesterday.
Insensitive jerks!
The important question: Jacket or no jacket? I’m gonna say no jacket for 9:00, but yes for midnight.
the only xmas gift i look forward to every year is the fact that in about a week is my yearly end of year vacation
Hippo also uses December to add to his festive layer of fat!
work’s xmas bonus is literally a box of meat from a local meat market, PLUS still have the ham they gave me at thanksgiving which sits frozen and ready to be made for said vacation
Joe giving the ball away in an ELITE fashion.
“5 rushes for 35 yards. Cool, Bijan is being used properly!”
/looks closer
“Huh, 1 rush for 32 yards and 4 others for 3.”
again, I needed that LAST WEEK, JJ
My word! Have I had a trifle too much sherry already, or is Joe Flacco truly an elite quartered-back?
I think u meen a Elite quartered back but yeah
it was funny watching the brownies lose with asshole watson with his zillion dollar contract and his undisciplined dick
it almost makes up for it watching them make this contending run with the God of Elite
Nothing like your phone dying because you didn’t think to plug it in before bed, so I’m an hour late.
falcons drive given 15 yards due to a hard-ish hit
falcons drive extended after a missed FG due to offsides (fox refusing to show it)
falcons get another FG try a few plays later
these 3 points brought to you in part by fanduel
Everything’s not gon’ be alright, Rockabye
Vikes pass rush is running on all cylinders today.
I just made an outstanding post in the Wall Street Journal comments section, where I made a concise comparison between the Fed’s interest rate policy viz inflationary tendencies and a great big dick. You really should go check it out if you like monetary policy. Thank you and God bless us all, each and every one. (loud fart)
Look, I am a liberal. I ain’t supposed to understand how money works.
None of these Jets scores are to Garrett, ffs!
You’d think they’d go to Brad in the endzone, him being so tall, smh…
girls, girls, GIRLS!
According to the parentals he’s a nice guy (source: the parentals for a few years got invites to John Edward’s Christmas party and met him)
Needed that LAST WEEK, Breece.
/at least Buddy and Uncle Ed are getting a show today
Mulled wine and prosecco, delish.
Monkey Trev, all your fantasy points are belong to US!
yuck
-only got one game
-falcons
-schlereth announcing
Stocking full of coal.
Scott Hanson, not the Santa we deserve, but the Santa we NEED!
There’s a new mix today for the 15:00 RedZone countdown. It’s like Santa Jesus God muzak, but from a rave.
Greetings from a swamp.
You and Uncle Ed made it to the game? HUZZAH!
Jesus, Commies v. Jets?
Didn’t realize you were that into BDSM.
oh, HONEY!
Ayyyyyyyy!
ARE YOU READY FOR A SHITSHOW?
pot roast in the instapot, per kid’s request. So excite for some Donks WOO! at least one of my spawn is in Mile High tonight.
If I was the head coach, I’d tell my players not to help this guy out. He started this fight, he can end it.
https://athlonsports.com/college-football/college-football-bowl-game-south-alabama-eastern-michigan-ends-in-brawl-after-cheap-shot
oh Heroic RedZone Muzak, how I will miss you when you depart for the hellish spring/summer
They should keep the music playing with a countdowns to the draft, training camp, preseason and week 1.
I think technically it IS on all off-season, but I like the countdown to draft especially
I’ve got this on deck for Christmas present unwrapping for tomorrow.
https://www.ohdanishbakery.com/danish-coffee-cakes/almond-custard-seven-sisters-coffee-cake
Supper tomorrow is going to be takeout Chinese.
I love those.
Mother sauce is on day 2. Next gotta press some pasta, maybe a trip to the store then eldest right and the girls are stopping by on Christmas eve.
I feel practically festive!
Off to make the brine for the turkey and then cranberry sauce
Let the cooking being
I am here to laugh at Chelsea!!! Bahahahahahaha suck it Todd Boeeehly.
Happy Xmas, chanukah, kwanzaa, festivus, solstice, day drinking, or whatever you celebrate.
I’ll tell my Dad you say “hi”
Merry Christmas everyone. Buon Natale tutti!
Congrats to all that made it through the LDBC!
Wasn’t on the playlist at the resto! Huzzah!
Noooooiiiccce
I made it!
Survived!
I made it! I enjoy this tradition although it makes going out in public even more terrifying than usual.
Alas I never had a chance
Seasons greetings!
Joseph in an alternate universe where the Angel of the Lord forgot to tell him about God using Mary as a surrogate.
Maury you are NOT the Father Best Celebration with Backflip (youtube.com)
Best liar ever! Immaculate I tell you! It didn’t even touch the sides!!!
Birds aren’t real
Good morning everybody from Fort Rikki (i.e. the five minutes I get alone in the bathtroom before the Dr. Mrs. comes in and yells at me for hiding from everyone)!
Maybe she just needs to vacuum the bathroom. I have found hiding out in the car works as well.
You need to buy toilet paper in bulk so that you can build the fort from floor-to-ceiling and wall-to-wall.
Just remind her that her authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass and you’re good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHAHEhhJisk
all it takes is ONE shitting on the living room floor and you’re bathroom sanctuary will NEVAR again be questioned!
With the Bengals season losing cabin pressure, I’m going back to my usual postseason bandwagon, pure unadulterated c̵̢͍̲̭̰͐͆͒̾͛̎̔̉͝͠h̸̦́̒â̷͓̈̿́̆͌ǫ̶̤̂̀̈́̑̔s̴̫̬̀̃̀͠.
Being Irish-American, my wife has started boiling the corned beef into submission for the Xmas Eve dinner.
I’ve already been refused service at the grocery store because it was too early to buy beer. Stupid Blue Laws.
That is unfreedom like. You should start a convoy and head to the capital.
“…BUT PEACEFULLY AND PATRIOTICALLY!!!!”
-Donny T., FL, Professional NEET
I just went to the gym and then circled back to the package store so as to buy beer and undo everything I just theoretically gained at the gym.