Hi! I’ve been in and out of hibernation for the past several months, which is apparently my new normal. Two months ago I came out of my cave and wrote a huge series for Door Flies Open. I then failed to post it for 8 weeks in a row. That stops now. Each entry was written in the last week of October, one after the other, day after day, and posted on the Taylor Swift subreddit in preparation for being packaged as one hilariously long post for DFO – after seeing the final word count, though, I’ve decided to break it up into seven parts that I’ll post each week. Don’t worry, I won’t disappear until after they’re all posted. Probably.

Foreword

At about 4:30pm eastern on Sunday October 29th, I noticed that there was no game thread for the Chiefs game on r/taylorswift. Did this mean she wouldn’t be at the game? I’m an adamant Broncos fan but had been ignoring the broadcast since we were going to get wiped off the turf today by our division rival who had beaten us 16 times in a row, so I hadn’t heard the announcers say anything about her absence.

The Broncos scored on their first possession. At 4:35, as a joke, I messaged my football friends group chat: “Taylor Swift isn’t in Denver, so if we win I will listen to all her albums and write a review for each song.” It’s been a bit of a running joke that her presence has been the reason for all the Chiefs wins (the one game she didn’t attend ended in a loss), so I thought if she skipped this one and thereby granted us a win, I’d owe her this. The Broncos held the Chiefs to a field goal on their first possession. I was not concerned.

At the beginning of the second quarter, our defense forced a turnover and Russell Wilson delivered a deep strike to Jerry Jeudy, who followed that up with a touchdown reception a couple plays later. I was not concerned.

Halfway through the 4th quarter, our defense prevented Patrick Mahomes from scoring a touchdown on 4th and 2. “Uh oh.” I texted my group chat. They asked me if I knew how many albums Taylor Swift had. I guessed five. I was wrong. With 5:39 remaining in the 4th quarter, Patrick Mahomes was sacked by his own lineman, ending their must-score drive to stay in the game. Some said the loss was due to Mahomes having the flu, but I knew it was because of her.

Shortly after the game I made a post on r/taylorswift, explaining the monumental task at hand. By the end of the week, I needed to write a review of every Taylor Swift song. To make matters more difficult, I had no subscriptions to any music streaming platforms because I…don’t listen to music. At all. Thanks to many fine and helpful Swifties, I’ve been set up with couple spreadsheets and guidance on how to tackle all 200+ songs written by this popular blond woman. What follows is my attempt to honor my careless words uttered in passing on that fateful Football Sunday.

Methodology

Quickly, before diving in, I want to describe how I’m going about this monumental task. First, I will be listening to all of Taylor’s songs. That includes the original masters as well as the Taylor’s Versions (at first, I thought TV stood for television; it does not). I’ll be listening to all EPs and singles, as well as all soundtrack entries and collaborations. I will be listening to the Christmas covers. If a song has a music video, I’ll watch it and include it in the track review.

Each track review is more of a reflection on what I was thinking about while listening to the song for the first time. This is an authentic reaction and I didn’t want to lose that, because it’s not often someone with no real knowledge of Taylor Swift chooses to do something like this. I’ll also include more of a high-level review of the album at the end. That final album review will only come after I’ve read some context on the album from the Taylor Swift Fan Wiki, and will be my attempt at actually representing how I feel once I’m in on a little bit (not a lot!) of the lore.

Finally, while my plan is to post this gargantuan thing as one big block of text on Door Flies Open, I’ll post my progress each day on r/taylorswift, because everyone over there was super kind and supportive of the idea and I don’t want to make them wait all week to hear how it’s going. Alright….let’s do this.

Taylor Swift (2006)

Q: Alex, you just said that at the end of each section, you’d read the context for the album and write up a ‘final thoughts’ type thing. Yet here you are doing it at the beginning. Why?

A: Firstly, thanks for asking, you handsome, charming, deeply sensitive and caring person. It’s like you were plucked from my dreams. What was the question? OH! Well, as it turns out a lot of my first impressions of this album were pretty negative, and they didn’t turn around until I got to the Beautiful Eyes EP. After having listened to Taylor Swift, the Beautiful Eyes EP, and Fearless, I wanted to assure the audience out there in internet-land that I’m not a monster. In fact, I’m really enjoying myself so far and I’m highly optimistic that I’m going to enjoy this whole process and a fair bit of the music.

Q: I see, and how do y–

A: This first album is just the one that I knew I wasn’t going to like, you know? I’m about 18 months younger than Taylor and when this music was coming out I was finishing high school. But I was finding myself on the receiving end of a lot of opposite-sex interest that I was discovering that I didn’t want – it’s not my fault that I’m so damn attractive – so songs about love, longing, and heartbreak were getting in the way of me feeling my true feelings: angst, hatred, and some really stern feelings about authority figures.

Q: I see. But wha–

A: I just don’t want people to get the wrong idea! I’m not here to bash Taylor Swift, okay? I read the wiki! Young Taylor seems like a shy but creative little ball of energy and attitude that knew what she wanted, took her thoughts, feelings, and observations about the goings-on of her life and turned them into pop-country fusion songs that resonated with a lot of people, and she did something that’s even harder to do – she got listeners to feel what it was like to be a teenage girl. That’s an under-represented and difficult to nail perspective.

Q: Just…show us the reviews.

Tim McGraw (Music Video)

33 seconds into the first song and she already said the phrase “Chevy truck.” This is gonna be a long project. I’m immediately reminded of why I didn’t want to listen to Taylor Swift in high school (I graduated in 2008), or associate with anyone who listened to Taylor Swift in high school. Getting started on this has me feeling the tell-tale signs of a panic attack. I think it’s setting in what I’ve signed up to do. I don’t listen to music very often at all, and if I did put on music it would not be this. Telling myself it’s only a few albums until this twang is gone, according to my new friends on r/taylorswift.

This music video looks like a young girl playing at being a grown up. Can’t deny, though, she looks really good holding a guitar. And she does a good job performing her song for the camera, which isn’t easy. The guy in this song has his mouth open the whole time and I keep waiting for a bug to fly in.

Picture to Burn (Music Video)

33 seconds into the second song and she already said the phrase “pickup truck.” Did she do that at the same timestamp on purpose? IDK what redneck heartbreak is but it sounds like a drink I’d avoid ordering at a bar in Arkansas. Man, she’s really focused on this pickup truck.

Watching the music video, I now understand that part of the reason she’s so fixated on the truck is because he never let her drive it. Is this a jealousy thing, Taylor? No judgement. This is like the teenage version of slashing a hole in all four tires of that jeep in another country song I vaguely remember. The banjo player seems pretty cool! As far as direction goes, though, this music video is pretty vanilla. The shots with the sparks in the background and her in shadow are cool though. Oh no, she tossed what I can only assume is his parents’ house! Oh, good, it was just a fantasy.

Teardrops on My Guitar (Music Video)

Ooh, sad song. This sounds like a teenage girl wrote it. As an effeminate man since my teenage years, I’ve always considered myself to have much more in common with girls but I can say with confidence that while I’ve felt the way she’s describing in this song, I would never have wanted to listen to it and marinate in those emotions. Not because I don’t like marinating in emotions, either. But because I can’t get over the unrequited romantic partner’s name is Drew. Sorry for any Drews out there, but if your name is Drew, I’m not interested. I’m also not interested if your name is Rebecca. I’m a romantic asexual – I have standards.

The first three songs all have music videos?! Listen Taylor, I gotta be honest. You can do a lot better than Drew here. This discount Andrew Garfield/Robert Pattinson hybrid is not special. Just buy your current boyfriend a leather necklace and a pullover hoodie, you’ll be fine. This music video takes the Tim McGraw approach of vignettes intercut with Taylor hanging out with her guitar. Feels a lot more authentic, though I’m hard pressed to imagine a teenage girl doing her makeup that aggressively to just lay in bed. Yes, this is the stuff I think about when nobody’s around.

A Place in This World

This song reminds me of the Ally McBeal soundtrack, which I like. Pretty melodramatic but in context it’s a lot more mature than the last few tracks. Taylor really wants me to know that she’s just a girl. I said that I was a pretty effeminate guy, and I meant it! I spent a number of long road trips listening to women sing about love, and watching Meg Ryan chase after Tom Hanks while laying in a dark hotel room. I get it. This song feels like a journey, and I’m on a journey too.

Cold as You

Ah, here’s another song about longing. Is this about Drew again? Is it mean to ask that as a joke?…I feel like it’s an appropriate time to say that I am, in fact, taking this seriously. Don’t confuse my joking tone and dismissive attitude for a lack of interest or buy-in. Instead, you should see it as the first steps toward immersion. Sometimes you have to shiver and throw a fit when you dip your foot into a cold pool the first time. After a bit, it’s easier to dunk your head under and enjoy the swim. On a personal note, I wish the accompaniment would take a little more focus sometimes. Part of why I never got into country music was because the music was just there as set dressing for the vocalist, and I want each member of the band to have a unique feel. Who is Taylor playing with, what are they like?

The Outside

I’m comparing this song to what I listened to in High School when music was still part of my life. It’s upbeat, sad, lonely, and pretty myopic. I wouldn’t have listened to it at the time, but the themes aren’t too dissimilar from what I was after. What was I listening to in High School, you ask? Well, that’s none of your damn business and I’ll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs. Unless you want to be my Alternative Girlfriend, I think it’s Too Little Too Late for me to be Falling for the First Time.

In the comments of the youtube video I used to listen to this song, someone said that this is the earliest TSwift song to make it onto an album, appearing on her demo discs as far back as five years prior to this album. If that’s true, and she wrote this as a pre-teen, that’s pretty darn cool. The perspective feels right for that to be true. Not a hugely unique topic to handle, but handled well.

Tied Together With a Smile

Another optimistically depressed song! If she was also funny in these songs I’d be having a great time. This is definitely a sad honor’s student sort of jam. I don’t know if there’s room to make jokes about how you feel as a teenager trying to make it as a country star, though. Don’t want to get pigeon-holed as a novelty musician. But humor is a way to introduce a little self-awareness to emotional moments, and that’s part of what I’m missing here. So far this album has been pretty saccharine and I need a little bitterness or saltiness to cut through the cream.

Stay Beautiful

Taylor seems to like to sing songs about people – either her or someone else. Not much about places, things, events, concepts, or anything like that. This song’s subject is named Cory, a name that DOES inspire me to adopt a romantic perspective, having been a fanatical viewer of Boy Meets World. Taylor isn’t that far from Topanga, right? No? Huge stretch? This song had the first lyric that I really loved. She says “when he smiles, it’s like the radio.” I don’t understand that at all but it’s profound in a poetic and alien way. I also appreciate that in this song, Taylor’s taking a back seat, as opposed to her oft-preferred passenger’s seat, and saying she hopes they are together in the future. That’s nice.

Should’ve Said No (Music Video)

This song is about cheating! This and Picture to Burn both have more aggressive choruses, which I guess is to reflect Angry Taylor. Grr, Angry Taylor sings over electric guitar riffs and tells you what you did wrong.

This music video shows Taylor performing live, and I love it! She’s got on a hoodie and blue jeans, and has the hood up with her hair covering her eyes. That’s how I would perform, so that I couldn’t see everyone looking at me. She sounds like she’s working hard, and is clearly not lip syncing which I think is cool as hell. Two guys just pulled off her outfit and she’s in a dress! What a cool mid-song costume change. She’s kind of a badass on stage, and her somewhat awkward movements are super easy to forgive because she’s projecting the cool energy. I’ve seen a number of live shows up close and personal, and I can really respect how tiring it is. It’s raining on stage and this girl is drenched. I hope that was the last song for the night, my goodness. Get that young woman a towel.

Mary’s Song (Oh My My My)

My wife has an older sister named Mary, and she listened this album as a teen. I wonder if she felt a way about this song. Oh, there’s a line about kissing, that turned this thought around pretty quick. I’m gonna show this note to my wife and see if she hits me.

This song actually reminds me a little bit of Colin Hay’s song Maggie. The relationships they describe are totally different, but the feelings they get across hit me in the same way.

Our Song (Music Video)

Alright! This song started in a car instead of a truck. We’re making progress. I actually know this chorus because I heard my wife listening to it one time in 2009. Y’know, I was a romantic and sensitive teenager. But I was NOT the audience for music like this. I didn’t fantasize about being in love with someone else. I fantasized about them being in love with me. That’s a thought to save for therapy maybe.

Wow, this is the first music video where I think Taylor looks hot. Especially the scene where she’s on the phone. The song itself is too country for me, and the bedazzled acoustic guitar isn’t what I would’ve picked, but it’s eye catching. To be honest, the wardrobe choices have gone downhill since the phone scene. I do like how she changes her delivery when she repeats the part about how he’s talking slow. See what I mean about her loving to be in the passenger’s seat over other people’s cars!?

I’m Only Me When I’m With You (Music Video)

That was a pretty casual listen. No thoughts.

What? You thought I was terminally long-winded? You think I’m hitting this word count for FUN? …I kind of am. On to the music video, and holy cow Taylor looks cute in a beanie. I’m taking a guess now that winter is her season and she’s at her best when she’s cozy. Might not be accurate with all the dresses and such that I’ve seen so far, but that’s where my head’s at. This is a super fun music video, using a bunch of candid video from Taylor’s life with family and friends. She seems like a lot of fun to have around.

Invisible

This is a tough one for me to vibe with. I’m a confident person who doesn’t struggle to command the attention of people around me when I want it. If I’m not being seen, it’s usually because I want it that way. I can appreciate where she’s coming from with this song, but it isn’t doing anything particularly captivating for me personally. This is one where I have to step back and say, I hope the people who appreciate this song are able to get what they need from it.

A Perfectly Good Heart

These last three songs have melded together for me into a sort of weak tail to the album. Similar to the last song, I have a hard time connecting to the lyrics because I don’t have the personal emotional experience to draw from – my wife, who I’ve been with for almost 15 years, was my first serious girlfriend. I’m not about to dive into a series of bittersweet memories of past relationships ending, because it’s just never happened. I’m aware that may handicap my experience a little bit, but I have to be authentic to myself here.

Beautiful Eyes EP (2007)

Yes, I’m doing this first EP along with the first album. WHY? Because it’s got the first song I really like! I Heart Question Mark is my number 1 pick for early Taylor Swift Song of the Era. My wife was a fan of hers at the time and she’d never heard it, which means I am now the resident Taylor Swift Expert in this household, and as such my word is law. What a banger.

Beautiful Eyes (Music Video)

This is another song where Taylor is saying ‘let me love you.’ We’ve got a lot of longing going on in this early era. I get that this song isn’t specifically about that theme but I’m picking up on some insecurity here.

Post-wiki reading Alex here, and yeah I was on to something!

This music video tells it’s story in the most digestible way for me so far. I’m getting more of Taylor’s candid personality, which is great, and I’m getting to be part of the party. Not every music video can be this relaxed, of course. Most of the time there’s a higher level of production and something to prove, but for this one I’m really happy to be chilling with Taylor.

I Heart?

This song is fun! First one I definitely would’ve listened to unironically. Vonda Shepard would be proud. This song is a little funny, a little sad, but stays upbeat. That’s my jam. If someone had played this for me when it came out I might have avoided thinking Taylor Swift was awful for a decade.

Post-wiki reading Alex here, and yeah I’ve listened to this half a dozen times while cleaning up part 1 for posting on reddit! It’s good! Something I didn’t explain well up to this point is that I don’t mind a little banjo or some twang; I like bluegrass, I just don’t like pop country very much. This song was a little further from the rest of what she’s done up to this point and I’ll be damned it isn’t pretty funny too. I got what I wanted out of early T Swizzle after all.

What’s Next?

Next up, The Holiday Collection, Fearless, Speak Now, and a handful of one-off tracks before Red is published. Thanks to anybody who actually read all that, and I hope you stick with me as things continue to develop. I’ve already written entries up to Red but I don’t want to go too crazy on this first post. Looking forward to reading comments to find out all the things I didn’t understand, got slightly right, or took way off into left field.