The Arizona Cardinals were one thing I liked about the 2023 season. They started the legend of Black Powder (nickname of the season), three of their four wins were against playoff teams (DAL, PIT & PHI), and got Kyler Murray back. Murray looks fine to either start or trade. Arizona also has a young coaching staff who motivated clearly bad players, plus the 4^th pick in the 2024 draft—which should also excite Birdcano fans beyond this Year Zero of the rebuild. To me, that is a great bad season, divisional spankings and Bidwill’s sexuality aside of course.

This season also happened to be Kliff Kingsbury’s second year of his contract extension, which he signed on 2022, the last year of his head coaching tenure. Fitbaw-wise, the Qards still came out ahead firing KK, who will still get paid until 2027. Dunstan observed the other day that fans now identify more with GMs rather than players (which is #Truf btw). It’s a sadder fantasy, definitely, rooting for NFL upper management. Kingsbury failed miserably and now is living the dream of every working stiff: getting paid for doing squat shit.

For me, that’s cause for celebration.

The Titans have a similar situation right now, after firing Mike Vrabel yesterday. Vrabel is on Tennessee’s payroll until the 2026 season, but I would anticipate some offsetting language after Vrabel gets signed by another team to avoid double-dip—see? There is ZERO joy in administrative stuff. It’s some billionaires’ money; why would anyone give a shit?

Personally, I hope Vrabel gets riches. He’s dedicated and competent and players respect him. But his last coaches and staff, Vrabel bros all, were not competent. Vrabel is also pigheaded, a decaying breed in the NFL in comparison to the rising Glorious Maths contingent. And power struggles may just be a Vrabel thing, whether it’s taking away defensive playcalls from Dean Pees for the 2^nd half of the AFC Championship, or getting his last GM fired.

I stand by these aspersions.

The national media loves Vrabel more than Tennessee, that’s for sure. Albert Breer says the impulsive Titans owner is the problem, which is bullshit. Vrabel spent SIX (6) seasons in Tennessee, with 13 wins combined in the last two years. Lesser talent would’ve called the owner hormonal, which is the only point Breer gets from me.

The national media loooooves Mike Vrabel—why, exactly? I don’t know, but I suspect it’s due to Vrabel being smart, having an impressive player résumé, and being able to beat up any reporter.  And AND, the Vrabel to New England media boner has been thoroughly irritating. It started by Canadian Thanksgiving, when the Pats were included in the tanking suspects. It’s the most unimaginative narrative. But look within you; there is only one team that is perfect for Vrabel:

RAIIIIII DUUUUUUURRRRS

RAIIIIII DUUUUUUURRRRS

RAIIIIII DUUUUUUURRRRS

If I had to pick three examples of Simpsons genius, one would be when Mr. Burns holds auditions for heirs and Bart and Lisa get rejected:

It’s all kinds of wrong advice, unless directed at Sisyphus (“Almost ther—darg!”).

This is what I think: try and try and try and try. Never trying is the real failure. Corollary: returning to old, unsuccessful habits is the opposite of trying. And this is wisdom that I pass on to you,

, Amy Adams Strunk: no Jeff Fishers or Arthur Smiths for head coach, please.

Finally, here’s Kevin Pollak doing Christopher Walken—a clip from this century wooo! Have a wonderful day.