Moving along. We’ve got more work to do.
To The Game!
Rams/Lions:
-Look at that gorgeous 51.5 O/U! Just as long as it’s not done by one team though. (Final Score 9-3)
-Please Stop: Much will be made of the qb matchup but these fellas have played against one another already. (But it’s the playoffs!, totally different)
-Dichotomy Time: Campbell is your typical old-timey “knock their heads off” kind of coach but he certainly has paid some attention to analytics in that he goes for it on 4th down quite often. As a matter of fact the Lions 34% led the league this year. Of course, with a defense that is so porous, he needs to give his offense more opportunities to score.
-Speaking of, success vs Nacua and Kupp is going to be a game-decider-the Lions have been penalized on passing plays 29 times this year.
-One guy that’s holding up his end is Aidan Hutchinson. I made fun of the media hyping him early in the season when he didn’t have a sack to his name but he’s come on strong, wracking up 5 in the last two games along with a fumble recovery and a 19% pass rush success rate.
-Tight End Talk: Both Higbee and LaPorta are listed as questionable. One is far more intrinsic to his team’s success and I wonder about him. With a hyper-extended knee and a bone bruise, just how much will he be able to do on the field? How well will he be able to run routes? Or is he out there to act as a decoy so that St. Brown can have more room to maneuver? We’ll see.
-I said as early as the 4th week of the season that if things fell right the Rams could be that sneaky good team that gets far because their strengths are so hard to counteract. (felt the same way about Philly for a few weeks also. Oops.) Well, Fatt, Puca, Cooper, Kyren and Aaron, time to prove me right.
Have at it.
I just quietly made myself a bourbon on the rocks, kind of like my grandfather did, drinking in secret. Except he just drunk miniatures and hid them all around the house. We would find them and it was like a drunken Easter Egg hunt.
Good to know I’m not the only one who had a grandparent who did that. Little bottles of Beefeaters or Canadian Club.
His go to was Carstairs, which is god awful. I remember going with him to his favorite bar, being given a quarter and told, “Go play some pinball. I’ll be right here.”
Delayed reaction, but Holy shit they used pokemon music!
And it was from the Gameboy game and not the one from the cartoon
I just took a Godzilla-sized shit.
Won’t the neighbors be surprised to find that on the hood of their car in the morning.
those fuckers, with their Tesla, and well behaved kids, and weird dog. fuck them. it was a long time coming
Did it clog the toilet? That’s a “Godzilla-sized shit.” Google “side effects of prescription opiates, constipation.”
Opiates will take your bowel movement game to a higher level, one in which you begin to deny the existence of God. However, you learn and adjust your habits accordingly.
I had an old Mexican plumber explain this to me. He had seen it all.
Taking notes, Hippo?
ON THE PLANE!!
Until you’ve lifted off, keep those hopes in check.
But yeah, you’re flying out tonight.
Literally. Zymm’s piloting the plane out tonight.
If I’ve learned anything from Hard Ride to Nowhere it’s that Dok had an invention for every scenario.
And the DFOers never heard from Zymm again.
See, Zymm’s excited about this, but I’m more worried because being stuck in the airport >>> being stuck on the plane.
Flights are taking off and landing just fine, there’s no ground hold or active weather, just system disruption
I’m on the ground in Chicago, got those fuckers moving. You’re welcome.
barry sanders wearing the axel foley lions jacket
That’s what you call complicated, Cris? They’re just double-checking whether Nacua has a brain injury, and THAT’S the complicated part of the sport you’re commentating?
Back in Cris’s day you just rubbed some dirt on your brain injury and lined up for the next play. Kids today are such weaklings, like his son Jac. Also, what’s up with the spelling in that family.
The Independent Neurologist forgot that a guy was already checked. Does the Independent Neurologist need an Independent Neurologist?
I’m Dr. Trent Green!
“The system is working.”
Whatever, Tirico.
yeah that got a chuckle from me
Door open! For reals this time! They are announcing preboarding!
Isn’t everything before you get on the plane “preboarding” (and also women be shopping)?
Puka Monkey Dishwasher
Trent Green nods, drools down the front of his pajamas and resumes coloring on the walls of his living room.
Ok time for RAMMMMMMMIT to shine and/or fade away into bolivian.
Fatthew dealing with a back injury, according to Miami’s medical staff.
If you bomb your concussion baseline test, you can never fail it.
Like sitting on your balls during the baseline lie detector questions.
All this Fatthew blood makes me miss the crazy AIDS-era sportsball hazmat rules
so goff v stafford is gonna be…wentz redemption?
I’ve taken the angst and anger of Cowboy fans, distilled it into a fluid, added saline, and I’m pumping it into my body through my eyes. God, it feels so good.
Neat!
As was always his fate, the Legend of Fatthew Stafford ends with him dying on Ford Field.
Stafford off to the blue tent, for Toradol and donuts.
what if…toradol donuts!
OH PRETTY PLEASE MAKE IT SO
Toradol infused and encrusted donuts. Here in L.A. they sell these across the street.
I would like to provide VC funding for this venture
Toroidal, even
told ya in the last thread. with brady/belichick/greatriots gone youre gonna get WAY less qb roughing calls now
and people were wondering why there were so many backup qbs playing this year
Nacua took a brutal second hit there.
Sooo, we picked February 26 for the day we commit my dad to the health care facility.
Tonight, my brother in law says, “Your mom said March might be better because it’s getting warmer.”
I told him, “I can be the biggest asshole, bastard son of a bitch in the world. And I will make sure he’s in there on that date. If no one ever talks to me again. Fuck it.”
To: Brother In Law
From: JJFozz
Miind your own fucking business.
Strong message follows.
Strong Liquor. Closed Fists. Can’t Lose.
JJFozz
“Hey cool, now shut the fuck up and don’t talk to me until 2/26/24, when I move MY dad.”
That is what it will be. I’m prepping for this day like Rocky about to fight Drago.
https://twitter.com/BobbyBigWheel/status/1746671380874043454
Or the “Great, a few weeks and we have that whole month dedicated to ‘them’.”
We have a time for the fuel truck, so we’re down to ‘about 20 minutes’. Tiny steps forward!
What country are you in?
Chicago
Doing everything they can to keep from having to refund anyone any money.
They already have to refund in full if you cancel and request it, but they don’t need to refund anyone otherwise whether the flight goes tonight or not. They’re working their butts off to get flights out, the whole airport is a mess today
Just saw you were in Chicago. For some reason I thought you were international this time. I assume it’s that same weather system that The NY Times is preemptively blaming for ruining the Iowa caucuses?
It was ass cold today, but the ice/snow went through yesterday. I think it’s a combination of bad weather nearby, after effects of the bad weather here, and the MAX grounding increasing loads. There are actually too many aircraft here right now so there’s a backup waiting for gates, waiting for fuel, waiting for crew, etc. Everything is delayed
The poor people landing in Chicago are waiting a couple hours for gates to open up. international is even worse since they have to be in T5 to go through customs so they can’t Shuffle them around. At least I get to wait in the airport!
Ask if they’ll go to Ludicrous Speed to make up for the delays.
https://twitter.com/willmenaker/status/1746664053416636884
Is Jerry LBJ or Lee Harvey?
He is the mafia.
Jack Ruby
EVERYONE’s gonna die.
He’s the skinny man that lives inside Jack Ruby
So very funny.
It’s really fun how Cowboys failing is just such an all around galvanizing genre of humour.
Especially because they’ve been basically harmless since 1995.
Jerry Jones as the owner will do that for you.
Are we still dunking on Dallas? Also Toronto catching strays here.
There’s never a bad time to dunk on Dallas
or the leafs
Rooted for them since the day of Roger Staubach and Tony Dorsett and I wholeheartedly endorse this.
You’re one of the ‘good cowboys fans’
they were kinda cool for a few years with jimmy johnson, but then…ya know
I’ve said this before and I’m sure I’ll say it again, if Jerry Jones’s ego didn’t make Jimmy Johnson so miserable the Cowboys would have had a run of Super Bowls exceeding the Patriots run, and my God would Dallas fans be an insufferable bunch of pricks if that were the case.
I really need to pee. I’m worried if I stand up, every joint between my waist and ankles will simultaneously seize and snap like Mahomes’ helmet last night.
That’s not where that was supposed to post. If only there was a way to change/correct our mistakes. We could call it an “edit” function, or something similar.
Are there seriously hundreds of men out there having the dilemma of attending an entire ass NFL game OR going grocery shopping? Like on their way to Kroger with their son, and an official NFL hobgoblin appears to tempt him into going to the game with their son?
Is that the same hobgoblin that was supposed to offer me free drugs in high school? Cause he’s seriously slacking off if so
That goblin was a user, a loser, and an abuser!
Someone at the next gate has a HUGE service dog. Size of a small pony, I hope they bought a seat for that pup
This guy was on my last flight from MSP to LAX. I forgot he was even there, but then I was hopped up on prescription opiates and free booze.
He was a very good boy.
Need to thank the Ford Field crowd for drowning out Collinsworth tonight.
Got excited there until I saw the word “out”
Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Cris.
Forever and always.
Evergreen comment.
Will it take Tom Brady to get Cris (or Troy?) off the mic? Greg Olsen and Tony Romo apparently aren’t enough.
Dan Campbell has a seriously fucked-up nose.
It’s been broken more times than he’s had birthdays.
Its only been broken once. If you don’t reset your broken nose, you can’t break it again.
My 10 year old was given a smoker for his birthday. “Dad, we’re getting a brisket tomorrow!”
Andy Reid wipes away a single tear, just like the Native American in the littering commercial
That Native American was, in fact, Sicilian. Which is some odd way made my father very happy.
Whatevs, just give me “off-white” – Casting Director
I had hoped this trio of assclowns (Collinsworth Jr, Nosferatu and Harrison) were suffering from frostbite, hypothermia or some other cold weather injury, but no such luck.
Eli likes trucks! He could carry all his Matchbox cars in the back.
What about his Legos? Is there room for them too?
Mom! Can I bring the Hogwarts lego set? Pleeeeease?
So seems we are waiting on 2 more flight attendants, but we WILL leave tonight, at some point
Just tell el capitan you’ll serve the drinks. No need to wait, just get us in the air, skip.
And I know the safety talk!
Though apparently we need fuel too, so they’re saying half an hour for the truck to get to us
Where’s the fuel coming from, Terre Haute?
Also request they turn off the chemtrails to get a couple extra horsepower.
Hey! How else am I supposed to get my fluoride!?
My wife’s cousins firmly believe in the chemtrail conspiracy. I came really close to opening up a full on fight with them one night. Fucking idiots. Also, one went to University of Richmond, the other to UNC.
I like Richmond…
https://x.com/charlesppierce/status/1746715374366728540?s=61&t=T-aAp84lKkJa8wlZ34lzYA
If Jerry Jones ever loses all his money, he can be the next Crypt Keeper. Ye gods.
Will Ol’DubbleJ just wholesale clean house or will it be a more targeted blood letting?
I don’t know how you don’t and expect things to change, but I also don’t know how you hire Mike McCarthy and expect to win anything.
McCarthy. He gone.
What happened? How are they jobbing the Lions this time?
Just some run-of-the-mill officiating incompetence.
Whenever I see a commercial for a cruise ship I always regret that during my time in the submarine service we never got to sink one of those. We also never got to nuke a major metropolitan area, but that’s really a different subject.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gQANgjMEog
You never met the right ex-company guys.
Say what you want about the Third German Reich, but the Second German Reich had a good idea or two.
U-boat campaign – Wikipedia
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enSjnu9fhYs
a talking teddy bear with a dirty mouth was funny for five minutes
The first movie was good.
The second one was not.
The second one was hot bearshit
The 2nd movie completely destroyed the first movie. Its like if Hancock was split into a two part movie.
Can it be a make up call when the officiating crew doesn’t really understand their initial offense?
Wow, looks like the refs are holding a grudge for getting shit for the last brutal call they made against the Lions.
NFL Owners oddly well-positioned to benefit in the real estate sector if a riot were to rip through the city.
ED-209 will be assigned to the refs’ locker room for “security.”
One more crew has arrived! I think. Get on the plane lady!
Good Ol’NFL officiating. Just as shit as ever.
almost forgot: refs eternal anti-lion fetish
WTF was that
Dan Campbell has never eaten anyone’s face off, but he insists on only using bath salts that give him the capability
We cans have competitive wild card game?