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Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: “Caution: Arranger at Work”

Senor Weaselo

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No crazy stories today, I’m simultaneously working on this and some Great American Songbook scouring (Hey, “Yiddishe Momme” counts… dammit, my cutoff is 1924 and it was written in ’25). Y’know, that sort of shit of being the contractor/arranger where if I were getting paid better maybe I’d take an extra cut, but considering the quartet is friends & Senorita Weaselo and just okay money, I’m not going to. Plus, any quartet arrangements I do write saves effort for future cocktail hours. I do have to go to Staples this evening, so there’s that. Unfortunately it’s to buy magenta ink. Just magenta, I fucked up one of the sensors when I put the last batch in, and now the printer won’t do a damn thing. (This is also because HP sucks.)

So, with that, news:

Hold on: Jason Kelce hasn’t officially retired yet. He’ll make an announcement “when it’s time.” Namely, emotions still running high, give yourself an objective view, that sort of stuff.

Alex Van Pelt is OUT as #ThePauls OC. Sounds like the whole offensive coaching staff is getting a retool, including RB coach Stump Mitchell and TE coach T.C. McCartney.

Falcons interview Jim Harbaugh.

Mike Tomlin tells the Steelers he’ll be back in 2024.

Rams WR Tyler Higbee tore his ACL.

Lastly, RIP to Golden State Warriors assistant Dejan Milojevic, who suffered a heart attack. He was 46.

What to watch?
Better Unis than the All-Star Game
Bedard/Celebrini SZN vs. “This is the year they make the… never mind” (CHI vs. BUF, 7:30, TNT)


Basketball… almost means something yet?
Deer Team vs. Sword Team (MIL vs. CLE, 7:30, ESPN)
Horse Team vs., uh, Lake Team? (DAL vs. LAL, 8:30, ABC)

“Wake me up when it’s March and/or St. John’s has beaten anyone good and not just lost by 5 to them”
Cray-Cray vs. Lowratio’s Extra Rations (#18 Creighton vs. #1 UConn, 7:00, FS1)
“Whoa, a whole minute?” vs Ramblin’ Men (UMass vs. Loyola-Chicago, 7:00, CBSS)
CLANGA vs. The Best F-Zero Stage (Miss St. vs. #8 Kentucky, 7:30, ESPN2)
Rhode Island Plantations vs. Free Big East Conference Wins! (Providence vs. DePaul, 9:00, FS1)
That One Year We All Liked Them vs. Not Horsies (UNI vs. Belmont, 9:00, CBSS)
T-Bone the Disco Spider vs. #BearDownForMidterms (USC vs. #12 Arizona, 10:00, ESPN)
Tweaker Matchup! Nevada vs. San Diego St. (11:00, CBSS)

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Doktor Zymm

At some point I will be too old to drive to the airport on 3 hours sleep to catch a 5 am flight, but that day is nawt today! Although I do somewhat question my sanity for doing it just to go to Ohio, even if it is just temporary and I’m really visiting friends in Kentucky

3
Redshirt

Also, because the Cincinnati airport is already in Kentucky. You’re going to Ohio for no raisin!

2
Brick Meathook

I once got into an internet argument about the British Empire with Dok.

Shortly after that I met her in Las Vegas. She is very nice person, and I also met blaxxabith, litrecola, and DonT. I still want to meet WCS, and a couple of the Canadian boys.

3
WCS

Yinz all terrify me.

3
Brick Meathook

The weird thing about a DFO meet-up is that you go in feeling terrified that you are going to be be raped by these weirdos, but after five minutes talking you realize “I known these people.”

2
Brick Meathook

And then they rape you.

7
King Hippo

as one DOES

2
blaxabbath

The others are, notably, not nice people.

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Doktor Zymm

I forgot Wild Zero has Japanese Mark Davis! He’s NAWT nice to his today girlfriends.

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Doktor Zymm

HI!

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WCS

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Doktor Zymm

Met one of my only good friends in Chicago at a Guitar Wolf show. If you haven’t watch Wild Zero, in drinking mode IF YOU DARE.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zq7ltPWXQg0
Hey mister, do you know rock n’ roll?

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Doktor Zymm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv5AYlKGt1E

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WCS

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Doktor Zymm

Full movie here:
TENSION SUDDENLY OUTERSPACEY!!!
https://archive.org/details/Wild.Zero.DVDRip.DivX

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Doktor Zymm

Wow, I am so old and uncool now.

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Doktor Zymm

Drink every time:

  • Fire shoots out of something.
  • Somebody says “ROCK AND ROLL!”
  • Someone combs their hair.
  • Somebody drinks.
  • Something explodes.
  • A zombie’s head pops.
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WCS

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Doktor Zymm

It’s second only to the smurf drinking game in unrealistic nonsense considering that it’s a rock and roll zombie movie featuring flame-shooting motorcycles, bouffant hairstyles that require constant combing, and fun explosions. You could try it with water and probably still couldn’t manage to keep up.

It was an official extra on the DVD though

Last edited 2 years ago by Doktor Zymm
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Doktor Zymm

Oh, the guitars also shoot flames. And a few other things.

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Doktor Zymm

Actual conversation I had in maybe 8th grade:
Some guy: “You know that song ‘Peaches’ is really about vaginas, right?”
Me: “Vaginas come in a can?”
Some guy: “Well, not that part”
Me: “Yeah, I think they just really like peaches, like the fruit, peaches”

Last edited 2 years ago by Doktor Zymm
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Mr. Ayo

Omg, guys are dumb? Am i dumb too?

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Doktor Zymm

I think most people get a pass on being dumb when they’re 13, although it’s fun to be dumb about vaginas at any age, no matter what your gender or sexual preferences!

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WCS

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Brick Meathook

You’re dumb but likeable.

2
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHEhYrRhC5w

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Mr. Ayo

For no reason:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAnPwbi4dDA

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WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOonlPWeGgs

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Doktor Zymm

They are a tasty bean! But do you know your chicken?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COMWwwv_MTk

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Mr. Ayo

Apparently not. lol

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WCS

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Doktor Zymm

I was thinking about bitcoin the other day, and why I didn’t buy any of it way back in the day when it was new and cheap. I thought it was BS then, and I still think it’s BS now. Why on Earth does anyone think that a fiat currency without a government backer is worth a damn thing, even if it does have artificial scarcity built in? Now that AI is sucking up GPU resources, I wonder if we’ll hit a tipping point where it stops being worth it to mine bitcoin? I sure as hell hope so, loads of talented people have been wasted working on crypto when they could have been doing something useful.

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Mr. Ayo

Everyone makes fun of this crypto coin stuff and they should. But I bought in at $500 and could today cash out at $50,000.

I’m not going to because it’s just free money and now the IRS actually taxes these gains. My only hope is no one has any idea of my cost basis. Also, until it goes down to 10k I’ll still be up enough to not care.

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Doktor Zymm

I would cash out half, but that’s just me.

I wish I had bought in, I could be doing dumb shit like owning the Panthers if I had, but my totally unwarranted faith in rational thought got in the way AGAIN. Currency in general, even when it’s asset backed (because how is gold actually useful anyway?) is already a sort of collective delusion so I really should have known better

3
WCS

I could go on another historical geographical rant, but see the lead up to the Panic of 1893 (and lesser extent 1907). Back then, it was artificially inflated speculation on silver and such. At least then, there was something to support whatever theoretical currency you had. Theocratical geography says after every source of production is exhausted, capital inevitably manufactures it from somewhere, even if it’s not real. This creates economic bubbles, which inevitably burst. Crypto just looks a bubble of a bubble.

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Maybe I’m completely incorrect, but that’s not for me.

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Doktor Zymm

Today I learned that you CAN eat silver, and even huff silver, but then you get argyria and turn grey and you still need actual nutrients
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WCS

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Mr. Ayo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaoqCARilbA

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Mr. Ayo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEFa4ztm9P0

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Doktor Zymm

Such a good song

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Mr. Ayo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvDt_KtOzbc

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Doktor Zymm

Countries don’t seem to sing their national anthem for rugby. Ireland does “Ireland’s Call” and for some reason England does “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2rRzvsZJfM

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Doktor Zymm

Oh this is why
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqhCIbXvbZw
Although it doesn’t actually explain anything, but the comments do

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Doktor Zymm

Been (re)reading Orhan Pamuk’s Snow. Despite the fact that it made a strong impression when I originally read it 10+ years ago, I remember almost none of it. Amazing book.

The people who say asinine shit like “we’re all really the same at heart” are full of crap. I love Turkey and have had wonderful experiences with the Turkish people, including in Eastern Turkey, but it’s a different mindset and I can only try to sympathize, never empathize. Even other fully Western (Turkey and the rest of the Balkans are a mix of East and West) cultures can be mindblowingly different. All humans, and all worthy of humane treatment, but because they’re worth it on their own merits, not because I identify with them.

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WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXn8yBknK40

I haven’t finished this yet, but, yeah. The parallels of the current situations in the Middle East sure do coincide with what Europe looked like in 1911.

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Doktor Zymm

The lack of binding alliances is the missing factor. Most nations are gonna be happy to just sit back and fund slaughter instead of participating. Christ that’s depressing.

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WCS

There’s plenty of ethnic and cultural alliances which are going to supersede anything else. This is the Balkan Wars pre-WWI that set the stage for the bigger party.

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Doktor Zymm

Eh, I still don’t see a situation where North America, Europe, or Australia/NZ commits troops in the next couple decades. If it does happen, might be something like China attacking Taiwan rather than the ME continuing to be a shitshow.

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WCS

It’s more about stirring up underlying resentment in other places, which inevitably draws in others, leading to a major spillover somewhere.

No one thought Japan and Russia squaring off in 1904 was a major thing until it was. That demonstrated Russia wasn’t as strong as everyone thought then. Ukraine is doing that now.
In the Yemen situation, it’s stirring ethnic tensions elsewhere, supported by outside states. Back then, the Ottomans tried the same thing. Iran and the Saudis could be the contemporary version of that.
Now, throw global finance and logistics into the mix, it does draw the attention of China, India, the US, etc. Those powers have allies in the region, just like the Balkans then.

Just saying, the similarities are there. We’ve seen dumber shit start with lesser causes. I’d like to think I’ll be proven wrong, though.

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Doktor Zymm

I do think we learned something from the Cold War, namely the ‘cold’ part. Exactly because of the global finance and logistics part, none of the major powers are going to make a move that forces any other major power to military action. Russia is probably the loosest cannon, but even if they did something dumb like attack Poland, yes they would end up in a war against NATO, but I don’t think China would enter the fray. They would just buy super cheap oil from Russia while maintaining an outwardly neutral stance (and India probably would as well).
Neither Iran nor the Saudis have a path to really kicking things off, both too small and oil alone isn’t enough to make people go to war for them.
It’s entirely possible I’m too optimistic, and things are certainly not trending well, but I really don’t think things will get to the point of WW3.

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WCS

I see what you’re saying.

I don’t expect a hypothetical WWIII would start as a straight-up fight between powers. It’s going to be a series of smaller things that cause a rouge actor from Iran or even Pakistan to have one major strike (offing Franz Ferdinand) that the other regional power (Saudis, India, etc.), which being near China and/or Russia really makes things fun.

All I’m stressing is a seemingly random sequence of factors all came together and it literally blew up in everyone’s faces. Keep in mind, everyone thought war in Europe wouldn’t break out before WWI because of the delicate balance of power that existed until a bunch of other shit outside of that balance threw it all off.

Again, with parallels to the Cold War: The US and Russia knew the risks of pushing the button; does a rouge cell from Yemen know or care if they are able to make a biological or chemical attack in Israel? Because now, you’re taking the major nuclear powers off the table the immediate flare up of hostilities, but… how do they not get involved eventually?

We are extremely interconnected globally, which does help the overall balance. But, hey, some people just want to watch the world burn. Those terrorist cells are the DeShaun Watsons of the political and ideological world, ruining it for everyone yet still gainfully employed.

1
Dunstan

DFO: Come for the dick jokes, stay for the geopolitical analysis

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WCS

Simpsons and Always Sunny gifs keep me at borderline insanity as opposed to just giving up on humanity.

Last edited 2 years ago by WCS
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Doktor Zymm

If people didn’t suck we wouldn’t have dark humor, so there’s that!

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Brick Meathook

I just checked in from Los Angeles. I wanna get in on this fight. (Note: I love you all)

2
Sharkbait

We really are a pretty high brow bunch arent we?

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Doktor Zymm

Pre-WW1 was an unstable equilibrium, and what made it unstable was the fact that any single power with an alliance declaring war set off a chain reaction of war declarations. Other than NATO, that sort of thing doesn’t exist today (and honestly, I’m pretty sure the US would renege on its NATO commitments in some situations). What major power is going to back a terrorist cell after a blatant attack on another power? It was already quite difficult to get EU support for the war in Iraq after 9/11, and Iraq was hardly a world power.

Any attack, no matter how deadly, isn’t going to trace back to a major power, or even if it does, there are going to be enough smaller countries and independent groups in between that we can easily ignore the links and just beat up on whatever smaller country while continuing to have profitable trade links with whatever country is actually behind everything.

There probably are ways to set things off, but I suspect they’re far more subtle than anything a terrorist group is going to come up with. Just be happy I’m a much bigger fan of bathrobes than death and destruction 😉

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WCS

If that’s the case, then we’re looking at a sustained period of low-grade, periphery shit for decades, if not centuries. Just with weapons of mass destruction this time.

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Doktor Zymm

Yeah, that’s basically what I’m thinking. Some phase in and phase out, and probably never quite at a point where we at least get good music out of it

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WCS

If some militant group detonates an EMP over Islamabad or somewhere similar, there won’t be any power to make what’s termed “music” today, anyway since it’s all digital. That would force us to restart the phonograph and vinyl. Another long-term benefit!

2
Dunstan

THIS TENNIS PLAYER ALEXANDER ZVEREV, I CALL HIM A FUCKING ASSHOLE BECAUSE HE BEATS HIS GIRLFRIENDS.

Hmm… I think that one got away from me a bit.

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Doktor Zymm

One pour of Lagavulin left, so some more sausage patties, this time with extra spicy Sichuan Chili Crisp. Yum!

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WCS

Apologies in advance for being stuck with me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOZnAczepv0

1
WCS

Also, hello.

My new jorb responsiblities maintain an overnight schedule pace now, so I’m now the late night guy here, too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZO2Kvr_idPE
Here’s an excellent primer on just how fast things went shitty in July 1914.

If I’m up, so are the neighbors.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yv7Ohp-eGVU

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Doktor Zymm

You and Brick are gonna have lots of late nite fun!

2
BugEyedBoo

The interlocking alliance systems in 1914 were a problem, but the real problem was that none of the governments, nor the people themselves, thought that the resulting war would last for years, not weeks a’la the Franco-Prussian War. They figured that they’d just fight this thing out, the losers will pony up some cash and some territory, and that would be that. Ah, oops.

2
WCS

see: Russia-Ukraine now

This isn’t ending any time soon. The Turks fought an eerily similar precursor to trench warfare in 1912. Is Putin’s Folly another instance of what the Ottomans tried when attempting to regain lost power and influence?

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Senor Weaselo

Kentucky: “First cousins shouldn’t be incest.”

In keeping with the spirit of things:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyoXyPoMlpA

1
WCS

Even WV thinks that’s messed up.

1
Mr. Ayo

Oh no, Iga.

RIP

0
Mr. Ayo

I obviously misspelled Collin here and can’t edit.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Thank you for the reminder that the Australian Open is underway. I’ll be back home tomorrow and plan to fall asleep in front of the TV with it on multiple times.

1
Doktor Zymm

I’m apparently having Jimmy Dean microwavable sausage patties with Zhong sauce and Lagavulin for dinner. It’s surprisingly good.

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Mr. Ayo

I, for one, am not surprised.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Unrelated, I’m disappointed none of you liked my Welsh rarebit joke on the earlier thread.

/goes to bed in shame

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Doktor Zymm

I liked it!

2
WCS

In my defense, I have no idea what you’re referring to.

2
ArmedandHammered

My attempt at making Welsh rarebit was not up to snuff, needed to use a sharper cheese. Since Stoffers no longer makes it, I guess I will need to up my game.

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Brick Meathook

I only know “rarebit” from an old episode on Gomer Pyle USMC. He keeps ordering it at the off-base diner, and then (instead of fucking the waitress) he goes back to the barracks and has nightmares. Comedy thus ensues.

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Doktor Zymm

It’s worth knowing that Welsh Rarebit is kind of the OG poor people joke. It’s a corruption of Welsh Rabbit, the joke being that the Welsh are so poor they can’t even afford the poor person’s protein of rabbit, and have to pretend cheezy toast with mustard is meat. It was probably funnier in the 18th centurty.

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ArmedandHammered

It is my wife’s family tradition of having the rarebit poured over a toasted English muffin, bacon, and tomato slices.

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Doktor Zymm

That sounds delish!

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lady BFC is watching Yellowstone in the other room, and I’ve literally had to stop reading my book because her multiple exclamations of surprise are that distracting.

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Doktor Zymm

Is she surprised that Jellystone in the Yogi Bear cartoons was a reference to Yellowstone? Because that’s not actually that surprising.

2
Brick Meathook

Here’s a Pratt & Whitney R-2800 display model.

The Rolls Royce Merlin engine gets all the love, but the R-2800 was the greatest airplane engine of the gasoline era.

If a Merlin took a single bit of shrapnel it was done for, while there were numerous cases of R-2800s being half blown apart and the other half was still running, saving the lives of the pilots.

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Mr. Ayo

What a legend. Proper engineering here.

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Doktor Zymm

Oh yeah, YouTube totally has fucked up ads under control and this is a totally normal ad to be running for the past month….it’s like everything that’s wrong zipped up into a nice little video. Kinda want the shitty AI Trump voice for my voicemail tho
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O329g7tffVs

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it bad I almost instinctively want to downvote your comment bc of that?

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Doktor Zymm

Nah, instinctive negative reaction is probably a good thing here, I reported the ad but doubt anything will happen since it’s already been running for so long

1
Doktor Zymm

Alternate version of Hedgehog (Barbershop!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huGdrsbYsik

1
Doktor Zymm

“You can bugger the cow, I will not show you how”

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Doktor Zymm

Alternate version (there are actually tons of alternate lyrics)
This one isn’t quite as drinking song, so doesn’t seem quite faithful to the books, but still kinda catchy in an early 2000s sort of way
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y4540m3JCI

1
Doktor Zymm

Ditto but more ZZ Top
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kP9fXTVUS8

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Mr. Ayo

Day #25

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Doktor Zymm

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS OF GIN!

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Senor Weaselo

This is not allowed. RIP, Peter Schickele (aka PDQ Bach)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y44yD0j2Ctk

1
Gumbygirl

Noooooooo!

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Doktor Zymm

Apparently this was my post on Facebook 14 years ago:
I’m kinda glad the cowboys are in the playoffs so I can root against them

That worked out well! Good job 14 year ago me!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone shared this JJ gem yet?

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0z-97XLG9w/?igsh=ZDlsMXNrMHJkaWE=

0
Redshirt

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/cowboys-retaining-mike-mccarthy-as-head-coach-enters-final-season-of-contract-in-2024/

It’s official: McCarthy has something on Jerry Jones. Either pictures or an Gruden email that was missed but that’s the only explanation I can think of.

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ArmedandHammered

I am sure the fanbase will act reasonably……

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Doktor Zymm

I can’t even begin to fathom what the pics must be where even Jerral doesn’t want them public

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ArmedandHammered

Maybe back in college he was known as “Jerry Steerfucker Jones” and someone has pics from the frat party where he got the name.

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Doktor Zymm

Maybe he did the original research for the Hedgehog song!

2
Redshirt

No, I think he would put that inside the star logo.

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ArmedandHammered

You know, he probably would be proud of it.

1
Brick Meathook

I’m going to post three classic comedy routines right here on this website.

All three follow the same path, of progressing from normal to weird

The first is from SNL: John Belushi in one take doing “The Luck Of The Irish”

The second is also from SNL (probably the greatest skit in the show’s history, Sam Kinison as the grade school teacher

The third is “Pre taped Call In Talk Show” from Mister Show on HBO back in the late 90’s. This skit has no business existing beyond 30 seconds but these guys pull it off for three minutes.

https://vimeo.com/515964784/29ec9eb1a3?share=copy

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Doktor Zymm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUnkBX8Db80

1
Doktor Zymm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwPveuJjp9k

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Doktor Zymm

Definitely both fun

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ArmedandHammered

Thank you!

0
Doktor Zymm

Version with the same singer as the Wizard’s Staff
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=othxGLWIYSw

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Doktor Zymm

The best line?
Il Porcupino Nil Sodomy Est!

2
Redshirt

.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

May I suggest “My Sephardi Mamacita”? It’s sexy Latin rhythms make it welcome at even the frummest observances

1
herodotus450

The actor agreed to pre-pay potential taxes on the watch and the officers failed to use a credit card machine for an hour until they gave up and brought him to a bank and asked him to withdraw cash from an ATM to pay, according to the source.

The ATM they brought him to had a limit too low and the bank was closed.

When he returned, a new officer brought a new credit card machine that worked, the source added.

That sounds like one o’ them scams they pull on old people

2
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Good taste in watches tho

1
litre_cola

McCarthy returning for Cowboys and Sirianni returning for Iggles. Never change East. never change

1
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

BOOOO! THE GODS DEMAND BLOOOOOOD!

1
ArmedandHammered

McCarthy and Siriani in “Return to the East”, our rotund Midwesterer and the Petulantly Pissed Italian return the scene of their crimes.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

LOVE the UMass name…

0
BeefReeferLives

“Just magenta, I fucked up one of the sensors when I put the last batch in, and now the printer won’t do a damn thing. (This is also because HP sucks.)”

All color ink jet printers suck. In my limited experience.

If you don’t really need to print in color, i suggest just getting a B&W multi-function laser jet that uses a toner cartridge. Much cheaper and much less of a pain in the azz than with the ink cartridges. Been on the same toner cartridge for years.

4
Doktor Zymm

The HP instant ink program is also a good option, it’s reasonably priced, all through the mail, and they send you stuff when you need it and recycle the old ones. Not sure how it would work with that sort of issue though. I have the Tango cuz I wanted something small and I’m happy with it

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ArmedandHammered

Get a color laser, the carts last longer with the black toner lasting 1k pages. My wife insists printing all her work stuff instead of reading it off a screen.

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

NEVER GET Inkjet. Like. EVAR
Get laser or LED as it won’t dry out if not used frequently.
We would go through an inkjet every few years but have had the same POS Brother laser printer for 10+ years now and have replaced the cartridge a few times without issue*

*damage was done to the bank account

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ArmedandHammered

Our Brother printers have been fantastic, would never go back to inkjet.

1
Mr. Ayo

The Bedard Broken Jaw Derby was postponed. Plan accordingly.

1
Brick Meathook

I”m having my staff re-arrange my schedule now, despite not knowing what 50% of the words in your post actually meant.

3
litre_cola

You have a staff now? Sweet.

2
Doktor Zymm

A wizard’s staff has a knob on the end
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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Better Pratchett song: Wizard’s Staff or The Hedgehog Song?

Last edited 2 years ago by The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
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Doktor Zymm

I’m gonna go Hedgehog, I want to be Nanny Ogg when I grow up

2
ArmedandHammered

I want to be Nanny Oggs cat!

Last edited 2 years ago by BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup
2
ArmedandHammered

*Ogg’s for fucks sake! We can edit our genes but can’t edit our post?

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