Your Lions/Niners Open Thread

Let’s get at it again!

Lions/Niners:

-Injury Report: Detroit’s Hendon Hooker is listed as questionable (tooth). I did not make that up.

-Keenan 175/2, Nacua 181/1, Doubs 95, Thielen 107/1, Moore 96/1, Watson 94/1, Olave 119, Jefferson 141/1, Lamb 227/2 and Jefferson again 192/1. If you’re a #1 wr you just love playing against the Lions pass D. Will one of (or both?) Aiyuk and hobbled Deebo have a game? The Magic 8 Ball says, “Are you kidding me?”

-As you suspected, Detroit has the very worst pass defense left in the playoffs. How did they get this far then? Well, they have a habit of matching or exceeding their opponents splash plays. As a team they finished with the 2nd-most explosive plays (gains of 20+ yards) with (ugh!) 69.

-Speaking of explosive, Gibbs should have himself a game, not so much Montgomery. The reasoning behind this is that the Niners surrender 5.4 ypc on runs outside the tackles. Since week 15 they are 25th in total yards allowed and 28th in yards per carry allowed.

-San Fran is in it’s 19th Conference Championship game-that’s the most of any team.

-Stepping Up: DE Aidan Hutchinson has more than doubled his pass rush win rate in the playoffs.

-The perception is that being a 7th rounder Purdy is a dink and dunker that doesn’t take chances but guess who led all his peers in air yards per attempt?

-So I came across a site (Sumer Sports) that attempts to quantify how good a coach is at in-game decision-making. They call it Win Probability Added Over Expected which is a mouthful. Of the remaining Leaders Of Men left in the playoffs, Campbell is the best and it’s not even close. (I’ll link in the comments) Not bad for a knee-biting son of a bitch. Btw, on this list Shanny Jr. is a bottom.

It’s yours to do with as you wish.

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Doktor Zymm

THIS SF DEFENSE I CALL IT BRITAIN’S FIRST HYDROGEN BOMB TEST BECAUSE IT’S FAILING (and it failed when the Lions last won a road playoff game)

King Hippo

This is where Campbell shines – controlling the clock to end the half, making sure they have the last (significant) possession.

Doktor Zymm

Perhaps he is using an electric watch, which was first introduced by the Hamilton Watch Company when the Lions last won a road playoff game!

Doktor Zymm

So close! Just like the Democracy movement in Indonesia that forced Sukarno to declare martial law the last time the Lions won a road playoff game!

(Not really, they never stood a chance against Sukarno)

litre_cola

Just catching up, is Zymm on some sort of drug this evening? Dealers choice.

Doktor Zymm

The drug of learning

King Hippo

#DeepCuts

fleshwound_NPG

found dennis miller’s old dealer

NotShogunButShogun

TIL he’s 70!? My mortality doesn’t appreciate this.

King Hippo

He refuses to die during a LIBTARD Presidency obvs

Spur

Evening Folks

Cecil Rhodes

This contest is very confusing for me. Shouldn’t that Rodriguez be down in Salinas picking strawberries instead of picking off Brock Purdy?

SonOfSpam

New Gibbs rankings:

  1. Marla
  2. Jahmyr
  3. Joe
  4. Barry, Maurice, Robin, and Andy
Brocky

Fun fact, I legit did not know the bee gees were brothers until last year.

I guess I just assumed any band with siblings would put it in their name

Doktor Zymm

They were brothers!?

That must have made the coke orgies weird

Last edited 9 months ago by Doktor Zymm
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQ9_MwZIaoc

Makes this have a whole different slew of meanings, doesn’t it?

SonOfSpam

No eye contact and it’s fine.

Also, how many of you millennials don’t know they were brothers? All of you?

SonOfSpam

Well Bee Gees = B.G.s – Brothers GibB

Redshirt

The 49ers have gone Full Pyrite.

Cecil Rhodes

The curse of Trey Lance!

Doktor Zymm

Explosive plays killing the Niners, much like an explosion at the Bishop Coal Mine killed 37 men the last time the Lions won a road playoff game!

(The past was kinda horrible, I got way more deadly stuff lined up)

SonOfSpam

Canary, flying away, laughing his ass off

Brocky

How the hell did this team lose to Chicago?

SonOfSpam

Peter Cetera had a good game that day

The Maestro

Those ancient Romans had the right idea about betting on Lions to defeat a Christian.

Petronel

Well, they do have Amon-Ra on their side as well.

WCS

Egyptians.

Petronel

Roman assimilation of Egyptian religion FTW

fleshwound_NPG

“especially in godless heathen california.”

-some maga uncle on facebook

Petronel

Argh

litre_cola

Gibbsdown!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That Lion fucks.

King Hippo

HOLY SHIT, that was some kind of run

fleshwound_NPG

JUGGALODOWN x3

Doktor Zymm

The Lions picking off the Niners, UNLIKE in the Partito Autentico’s failed attempt to pick off Batista in the Havana Presidential Palace Attack the last time the Lions won a road playoff game!

Redshirt

That wasn’t Purdy good.

litre_cola

Sudden Change!

King Hippo

MEXI-CEPTION??

SonOfSpam

Obviously, they’re very good at stealing things football

Doktor Zymm

Both teams running like the French army is burning the soles of their feet like they did to torture Algerian prisoners during interrogations when the Lions last won a road playoff game

(embracing the darkness)

NotShogunButShogun

We welcome you. We have cake!

Redshirt

It’s fruitcake, but it’s still a cake.

Senor Weaselo

No, it’s a sandwich.

NotShogunButShogun

Many many nuts indeed

Doktor Zymm

THE CAKE IS A LIE

NotShogunButShogun

I refuse to believe glados.

Bogdanski

I love the actually interesting “the last time the lions won…” facts but when I shared a few with my spouse I got the eye roll that sounds like is typical of many other dfo folks. Keep em coming

WCS

Spouses of longtime lurkers must really think we’re deranged.

NotShogunButShogun

I could hear the eye roll from the ex anytime I talked about dfo.
My hearing is much improved.

Petronel

….or we could just stay with Jake, Mahomesy, and Big Daddy Andy.

Just sayin’.

King Hippo

I am hoping “State Farm” makes the cut for Hate Week

Doktor Zymm

Bosa took down Goff like the British Colonial government took down Dedan Kimathi, the Kenyan rebel leader, the last time the Lions won a road playoff game

fleshwound_NPG

did the niners dj just do the sonic lost rings sfx after their own guy got blown up

Sharkbait

I believe so.

Brocky

#7 ward for the 49ers has yellow shoes and I keep thinking it’s a flag

ballsofsteelandfury

Me too!

Petronel

Still think they need a uniform policy preventing guys from wearing gear that could be mistaken for a flag

King Hippo

PREACH!

Gumbygirl

So no pants for the Steelers?

Doktor Zymm

SF fans celebrating just like former residents of the Gold Coast and British Togoland when they gained independence and became Ghana, when the Lions last won a road playoff game!

SonOfSpam

Sounds accrate

LemonJello

There’s a glitch in the Matrix tonight, I’ve seen the McCaffrey touchdown about six times now.

WTF Fox!?! Do Better!

SonOfSpam

What, like Fox isn’t gonna lean into a white guy succeeding?

WCS

https://www.foxnews.com/video/6344649173112

Depends on who’s paying them.

NotShogunButShogun

The Right white guy

Petronel

Christian against the Lions!

SonOfSpam

As always, I root for the Lions.

ballsofsteelandfury

Ok, it’s a ballgame now.

WCS

Wrangler Jeans found an even dumber, slower, hickier spokesperson for Brett Favre.

Waiting of the frauder talent.

King Hippo

The worst part of late January is all the goddamned commercials trying to convince you it’s methadone-y to watch golf, cars driving in a circle, or USXFL.

This is really just the last day of life until mid-late August.

ballsofsteelandfury

Watching golf has been verified by the FDA as an approved treatment for insomnia.

Sharkbait

Bleeds right into February. The Tuesdays of months.

ballsofsteelandfury

Back when I was young and went out to bars, I always maintained that Tuesdays were the best nights to go out. Only hard core drinkers go out on Tuesday nights. You get very interesting crowds…

NotShogunButShogun

Also the bartenders least likely to check id

Doktor Zymm

Also most restaurants get fresh seafood in on Tuesdays, so you can get clams then get clammed

NotShogunButShogun

Bourdain? That you?

Petronel

That’s better

King Hippo

I’m not expecting many more placement attempts outta y’all

Doktor Zymm

That was McCaffery’s 60,000th nautical mile! Impressive, just like the when the Lions won their last road playoff game and the REAL USS Nautilus, the first nuclear powered submarine logged ITS 60,000th nautical mile, matching the total of the fictional Nautilus

ballsofsteelandfury

Stay in your lane!

– Brick

litre_cola

Just put a large bet on Detroit -1.5. WHOOP WHOOP!

Sharkbait

LFG

King Hippo

at least seems like we’ll get some entertainment here

SonOfSpam

-bored teenagers heading to Golgotha on a random Friday a couple millennia ago

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

SonOfSpam

Damn, furry costumes have gotten really sophisticated.

NotShogunButShogun

Hey GTD…can we just make it a Zymm-Miller extravaganza this week?

Game Time Decision

Will do

WCS

so many kneecaps being eaten

NotShogunButShogun

As a native wisconsinite… I approve.

NotShogunButShogun
King Hippo

are you saying Wisconsin is a land of contrasts?

NotShogunButShogun

No. Eating body parts is a long tradition.

King Hippo

/nods while grabbing an old penis out of the back of the fridge – Jeffrey D.

NotShogunButShogun

Like jerky! But chewier. Can’t do much upholstery though. -Ed G.

ballsofsteelandfury

LIONSFUCKING.GIF

Doktor Zymm

The Niners defense getting burned much like the 72 people who died in a fire at an old folks home the last time the Lions won a road playoff game!

(Wow, that got dark)

SonOfSpam

And charred bodies are also normally dark

Petronel

comment image

Brocky

It’s a older tragedy, but it’s accurate

King Hippo

Yeah, the Lions interior OL is FUCKING JUST FINE, thanks

fleshwound_NPG

JUGGALODOWN x2

King Hippo

Buster is making some excellent reads tonight.

SonOfSpam

“Like Everybody Poops?”

-E. Manning

LemonJello

9-2 Final Score: would it be a Scorigami?

Sharkbait

No! October 6 1929 was the first and only time it happened.

I feel like something big was just around the corner…

Doktor Zymm

Gibbs sailing through the defense much like ships sailed through the Suez Canal once it was reopened after the Suez Crisis and Israel’s occupation of the Suez when the Lions last won a road playoff game!