Your Superb Owl Open Thread

Welp, it’s finally here. As with most of the folks here, I could do without all the silly stories surrounding the game designed to draw in the casual fan. (although one story about a story-it was to be expected-that MAGAT’s were all up in arms about Swift/Kelce being some sort of psy-op that will bring more votes to Biden-that’s a keeper) I can’t stress it enough, when you’ve had your fill, run to the mute button. There’s simply too much air to fill.

To The Game!

Chiefs/Niners:

-Did I get the ‘home’ team right? (Narrator Voice: Nobody cared)

-Knock Me Over With a Dropped Pass: If reports are correct, Kadarius Toney will be starring in the role of “Player Nobody Gives a Shit About” and will not be bringing his unique brand of hapless football to the game today. Maybe it was the pass deflections that turned into interceptions, maybe it was lining up offside at a critical moment. Really, it could be anything. I’ll wager a hot fiver that his ten cent brain will be somewhere else next year.

-Don’t Bother About Trent Williams: As a whole the Niners o-line is ranked 15th in Pass Block Win Rate. That takes into account TW’s 96% rating-so yeah, the rest of the line can be had. The prevailing theory is that the Chiefs will put a speed guy like Danna or Anudike-Uzomah against him and have Chris Jones attack the middle or other side.

-In a game such as this reducing mistakes is paramount but Reid and Shanny Jr. especially tend to make errors when deciding whether or not to go for it on 4th down. By ESPN’s metric Shanny has the worst in-game decision-making skills, making the wrong call 28% of the time on non-obvious 4th downs.

-To Blitz or Not to Blitz: Chiefs DC Spagnoulo (?) employs that sort of pressure at a 32% rate. The trouble is that Purdy has a 86.4 QBR and 14 TD’s when blitzed, easily finding safety valves Kittle and McCaffrey. Spags will no doubt create some new wrinkles during the pre-snap period but how effective will they be?

-Speaking Of: Look for McCaffrey to be used early and often against the Chiefs suspect run D. San Fran will not make the same mistake the Ravens did when they came out throwing. The Niners were #1 in yards per carry on zone runs and K.C. was 31st defending. That’s the kind of statistical disparity that Shanny and run game coordinator Chris Foerster simply can’t ignore. By the same token, Reid and OC Matt Nagy would be fools not to have Pacheco running straight at Chase Young.

Guaranteed to Happen: A 30+ yard shot play to MVS. It’s happened in both playoff games so far.

-Feast or Famine: Cb L’Jarius Sneed has rightly won praise for making big plays in a timely fashion but he’s also been flagged 17(!) times so far this year for holding/pass interference, etc. as well.

It was a pleasure putting these together for the 9th(?) year. Shit, has it really been that long? Enjoy the game and comment like you’ve never commented before!

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Petronel

GUTS AND WILL POWER AND YES GRIT TOO

King Hippo

That was a damn fine finish on Kittle’s route

Doktor Zymm

Ach mccafferry gotten ein superdefensed!

makeitsnowondem

Samuel was so uncovered the Spearmint Rhino was asking him to put a thong on.

Doktor Zymm

Slow motion replay of Sneed hurdling the camera dude!

Doktor Zymm

Huh, they just aired a tweet from some guy who has a Mahomes tattoo on his arsch. Very German I guess?

Brocky

……da?

Recovery Whiskey

Seattle Sounders (MLS) had a guy that got Celine Dion tattooed on his ass. Bet if Seattle won the title (when they were in 9th place) he’d do it. Spoilers: they won the title. And he delivered.

Soccer guys though.

King Hippo

Looksies, Aiyuk didn’t miss the team bus after all!

Beerguyrob

Vince who used to be at Up[redacted] is having some fun.

IMG_8123.jpeg
Wakezilla

They should have sent Selena Spice to the game instead.

makeitsnowondem

Juszczyk’s main competition for first team All-Pro fullback was Mike Alstott and LeBron James.

yeah right

Look at that! We’ve got a football game

King Hippo

Was that their first first down…of the HALF?

King Hippo

(oh wow, WELL longer than just that)

/teevee box is muted

Petronel

Our mistakes cost us a TD early and gave them a TD just now. If we lose this it’s probably our own damn fault,

WCS

(disembodied voice of Ron Howard): “It was.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I mean, it’s not MY fault.

Gumbygirl

I blame Canada.

King Hippo

all’s I know is – if you get a pickerception y’all best lateral that fucker around and score on the return

Porky Prime

Feliciano is definitely not having a Feliz Super Bowl.

Wakezilla

49ers are blowing this game so bad.

TheRevanchist

Hey, pal, this is a family website. Keep it little less graphic there, buddy.

LemonJello

Maybe they’ll get an AVN Award next year?

NotShogunButShogun

Balls will pick wrongly

Beerguyrob

HOW THE FUCK DOES TONY ROMO KNOW ABOUT PRESSURE IN THE SUPER BOWL?! He couldn’t handle pressure in an NFC Wildcard game.

King Hippo

on HOLDING the extra point snap

WCS

comment image

Recovery Whiskey

Jordan Babineaux agrees

TheRevanchist

And it was wonderful to see.

ThePirateSloth

The Liberal fix is in!!!

King Hippo

NARRATOR – Santa Clara did NOT hold on.

Game Time Decision

Turnover brought to you by Achilles

clint greasewood

Biden just called it in the Psy Op

LemonJello

Let the record show that WCS predicted 2 turnovers per team to me earlier

WCS

comment image

Petronel

Yeah, you’re welcome grumble grumble

Beerguyrob

Poor Ray Ray – nawt his fault.

King Hippo

yeah, once it got foot-punched it was amazeballs he almost corraled it

NotShogunButShogun

The fixers have arrived

Game Time Decision

Sudden change?

Gatoraids

“Three days after Jenna Tocatlian saw Taylor Swift perform at Gillette Stadium in Massachusetts, she was still on cloud nine. But something felt weird when she tried to relive the memories: in her mind, where vivid specifics of the concert should have been playing on loop, there was just a blank space.”

WCS

Santa Clara just doesn’t want to win, right?

WCS

Nope.

Porky Prime

Nnnnnnnope

Petronel

FUUUUUUUUUU

King Hippo

Sudden change the third. FATAL?

Porky Prime

Womp womp

LemonJello

CBS has a macro running that cuts to T. Swift at any Kelce mention

Game Time Decision

Can still win the prop bet on number of Taylor sightings starting now

TheRevanchist

They just showed Tay Tay!

yeah right

When this 4K thing settles down and works right it makes for a pretty fucking picture.

Beerguyrob

Football traditionalists: Defence wins championships.

CBS: Can we randomly start shooting safeties?

Porky Prime

Oswald keeps firing into the grassy knoll.

King Hippo

If Santa Clara hold on, this might be the worst Owl winning QB performance I can recall.

Porky Prime

Which means only a 70% chance he wins mvp

WCS

Kelce wins with three catches, 22 yards. HE WAS A DECOY!

Recovery Whiskey

Rapey was 10/22 in SB XL. Still the gold standard in the modern era

King Hippo

ah, had TOTES forgotten that

LemonJello

Dok, tell us how your German commentators decribe the post game showers

WCS

https://twitter.com/MicaelaDeaTV/status/1756864332590465440

That wasn’t as fun as advertised. I WANT A REFUND

ballsofsteelandfury

That kickoff went through the uprights. Should have been a rouge!

yeah right

I was just telling eldest daughter the same thing. That rule could actually change the game. What if there is a penalty on the extra point assessed on the kick off? We need to make that happen!

Petronel

If ever anybody got The Good Stuff in the tent…Deebo is that guy

Porky Prime

That’s a big ol 69.

Recovery Whiskey

Twitter confirms the invader wasn’t naked. Not streaker. Romo fail

Wakezilla

We’ve had the longest field goal record fall twice, tonight. Who says this game is boring as shit? Everyone? Oh. Carry on.

Beerguyrob

WHERE IS SHAN’KLOR?!

litre_cola

I am so drunk. Sharky. The shafts

1 Oz Vodka
1oz Kailua
1 Oz espresso
1 Oz cream
Go

ThePirateSloth

All that money you spent to get a SB ticket, a hotel room, airfare, clothes, car rental, copious amounts of booze… Only to go to jail for running on to the field.

Doktor Zymm

If you’re already spending that much it’s not a big deal to splurge on bail

Game Time Decision

Wow that’s some kick

Brick Meathook

Streaker on the field? Please post the iPhone footage of that as soon as it’s posted somewhere.

ballsofsteelandfury

I hope Dan Campbell is watching this game

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