Welp, it’s finally here. As with most of the folks here, I could do without all the silly stories surrounding the game designed to draw in the casual fan. (although one story about a story-it was to be expected-that MAGAT’s were all up in arms about Swift/Kelce being some sort of psy-op that will bring more votes to Biden-that’s a keeper) I can’t stress it enough, when you’ve had your fill, run to the mute button. There’s simply too much air to fill.
To The Game!
Chiefs/Niners:
-Did I get the ‘home’ team right? (Narrator Voice: Nobody cared)
-Knock Me Over With a Dropped Pass: If reports are correct, Kadarius Toney will be starring in the role of “Player Nobody Gives a Shit About” and will not be bringing his unique brand of hapless football to the game today. Maybe it was the pass deflections that turned into interceptions, maybe it was lining up offside at a critical moment. Really, it could be anything. I’ll wager a hot fiver that his ten cent brain will be somewhere else next year.
-Don’t Bother About Trent Williams: As a whole the Niners o-line is ranked 15th in Pass Block Win Rate. That takes into account TW’s 96% rating-so yeah, the rest of the line can be had. The prevailing theory is that the Chiefs will put a speed guy like Danna or Anudike-Uzomah against him and have Chris Jones attack the middle or other side.
-In a game such as this reducing mistakes is paramount but Reid and Shanny Jr. especially tend to make errors when deciding whether or not to go for it on 4th down. By ESPN’s metric Shanny has the worst in-game decision-making skills, making the wrong call 28% of the time on non-obvious 4th downs.
-To Blitz or Not to Blitz: Chiefs DC Spagnoulo (?) employs that sort of pressure at a 32% rate. The trouble is that Purdy has a 86.4 QBR and 14 TD’s when blitzed, easily finding safety valves Kittle and McCaffrey. Spags will no doubt create some new wrinkles during the pre-snap period but how effective will they be?
-Speaking Of: Look for McCaffrey to be used early and often against the Chiefs suspect run D. San Fran will not make the same mistake the Ravens did when they came out throwing. The Niners were #1 in yards per carry on zone runs and K.C. was 31st defending. That’s the kind of statistical disparity that Shanny and run game coordinator Chris Foerster simply can’t ignore. By the same token, Reid and OC Matt Nagy would be fools not to have Pacheco running straight at Chase Young.
Guaranteed to Happen: A 30+ yard shot play to MVS. It’s happened in both playoff games so far.
-Feast or Famine: Cb L’Jarius Sneed has rightly won praise for making big plays in a timely fashion but he’s also been flagged 17(!) times so far this year for holding/pass interference, etc. as well.
It was a pleasure putting these together for the 9th(?) year. Shit, has it really been that long? Enjoy the game and comment like you’ve never commented before!
PRAY FOAR FUMBRE
Ah der PAT block unnnnd gut! Der San Francisco 49rs! Leute Mahomes legacy 4th quarter someback?
Well, here it is.
Too much time.
Needs more rosemary?
Sage advice
Agreed
WHEW. Stayin’ alive. Shanny went against Hippo twice, 2/2. As is custom. I know NOTHING
Come on miss it
Dammit
Ah der cockup
Jake Moody, Superb Owl MVP
McDuffie with the Lou Thehz press there.
The reference? I get it.
These CBS shows all look terrible
A tradition like no other.
I officially hate Romo more than Joe Buck.
…second best commercial goes to those three idiots
I’m not sure if I’m enjoying this game or not. Feels more like a Sunday Night game in early October instead.
ZWEI MINUTEN WARNING
I tuned in here just in time to catch all the commercials.
“Well, this has lived up to the hype.”
No, Jim. No it fucking hasn’t.
THANK YOU.
It’s deffo gotten better. Two well-coached sides, I’ll give ’em that.
This is 4 down territory. You miss from 50+, give it back to Mahomes near midfield? Game, blouses.
Masterclass time management, they’s gonna bleed the clock dry. Which they must.
I don’t think letting the rookie kicker win the game is quite the genius move Shanahan thinks it is.
He’s a shanahan…of course he thinks it’s genius
I don’t think he’s doing that – his defense just has nothing in the tank. Can’t give Mahomes time to respond.
Well, turns out I was wrong on more than two counts.
This one commentator sounds like the German version of a Blue Peter presenter
Pu-Pu-Pu-Pu-Purdy and the Jenz.
Oh you have NAWT known joy until you hear Germans saying doink
DOINK
So, 49ers score a field goal after eating 4 minutes off the clock. Then the Chiefs get a questionable PI call, then punch it in on the last second to win.
That’s the script, right?
Every commercial has a song drop that’s 50 years old.
Don’t be selling to my old ass.
I’m already set on my ways.
Fire Country looks shittier and shittier with every commercial they show.
That dude seems like a TURRIBLE actor
Its a CBS show. Could’ve saved you the trouble
The Clydesdales are CG these days
“What happens if they tie?”
Donovan McNabb, over learning the wrong lessons.
Germans say wow almost as good as the French do. They say Super even better
Sehr gut, Frau Doktor.
Nein! Ist Fraulein Doktor!
What a smart play to hold onto Mahomes there. Not rough him, but don’t assume the slippery fuck was down yet.
Mahomes ist ein arschluben quarterischback
Why can’t I vote for Sam Darnold for MVP?
https://www.nfl.com/super-bowl/mvp-vote/
This is the Superb Owl, not the Special Olympics?
Commish’s orders. No ret…Special Young Men
Swift looks just like any other player GF. Not an international celebrity at all
She writes her own songs! Sometimes twice!
Gipsen glauben un Kelce! Zombie en aus und 5 man rush. Oh no! Druck wow never throw the ball late over the middle!
Cover 2 zwei safeties?
So is taylor swift like brie larson, in that the more you hate her, the more powerful she becomes?
Did someone just teach Romo the word “leverage”? We’ve heard it more times than he’s choked in December.
He just binged all 5 season of Leverage over the last 2 weeks instead of watching game film.
Instead of making that grand daughter do 2 full ass skating routines, living in an non-ADA compliant house miles away from any health facilities, after a 3 hour drive, they could’ve just live streamed the fucking skating championship.
* for grandpa, who is living…
I was expecting a “ded mom” ad, those are always so chi\pper
The Street Jude Hospital commercials on the radio side are incredible.
(overly sappily softly crying mom v/o):: “They saved my son! He wouldn’t be here without them! I didn’t have to worry about who was paying for the IV. Won’t you donate today so other can feel the way we were able to?”
Blocked extra point from…exactly where the 4th and 3 FG would have been attempted.
/but yeah, I would have kicked there even if I deffo would have felt bad about it – that defense has to be gassed
That’s the cleanest pond ice I’ve ever seen
“Copilot, write me a dick joke.”
“Don’t need to. The joke is in your pants.”
“Clever girl.’
Up in that mountain’s the only place a Kia won’t get stolen from
I’m such a good dad in gonna make my daughter sit in the back seat.
Moving my MVP chip from Wishnowsky to Jennings.
Zum himmer keine tackle fur jennings UND PAT BLOCKED OVERTIME ZUPERBOWL??
Ja! Das ist austgezeignet!
FLUUUUGEL!
I need to figure out some way to get German streams full time next year
I like this game.
It’s a real football game Jack.
PRAISE SHAN’KLOR
They aren’t showing Taylor Swift when the Niners score enough
Strange events are afoot at the Circle K
Fantastic second effort by Jennings there
Man it’s gonna be bullshit when they make a QB MVP instead of Jennings or whomever wins it for KC.