TGIF! So what are we to do with our Sundays now? Well, Sunday Gravy first thing in the morning, but no idea after that. Although the positive is I my Mondays will have far fewer hangovers, so that’s a plus for work.
Survival – Personal Edition
Wait, I just remembered what my off season Sundays are for: golf! Now that my broken thumb is healed I can get back in the swing of it. Of course, fun on the course sometimes involves some drinking. And some drinking can cause some clumsiness and carelessness, all of which can result taking a shot to the Goolies. (Goolies is a Scottish term for the privates) Let’s go through the steps to survive such a shot.
- Lie down immediately. Shield those Goolies from taking any additional damage with your hands, but don’t go squeezing them.
- Apply something cold to those Goolies to control swelling. Use ice in a bag or cloth, or a cold beverage can.
- Do not apply too much pressure. That will only make those Goolies hurt more or potentially cause more damage.
- Wait a few minutes and reassess your pain level. If there’s still a significant amount of pain, it’s time for you to do a visual assessment of those Goolies. Check the swelling, look for any irregularities, and make sure the undercarriage is still intact.
- After an hour, if there’s still pain, you’re going to have to bite the bullet and get those Goolies to a medical professional.
Well that was fun, wasn’t it? Hopefully your playing mates had a good laugh at your expense, and your Goolies are back in good health.
Click here to get to commenting
Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
OK. Synopsis concert was unreal. Ittle tussle at the Lennox Irish pub. He deserved it. He swung 1st. Missed then it was over for that fuck
There is crackheads everywhere or whatever the new brand is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kqFwVuQ-Hg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKTFNTXWuoU
God I love Robert Fripp.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33tBV6EIM-M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUkggdQW2xE
Their first album was close to perfect.
That’s the one I owned. Sci-Flyer was the inspiration for the sci-fi edition of Request Line.
I can never get the puzzles.
Early morning run in very thick fog. Listening to the Black Sabbath Sabotage album. Loud. Vertigo. I am aware. I am alive.
/ Deep cut: Tommy Chong, “I saw God man…”
They opened with Symptom of the Universe the first time I saw them live.
Shit.
I’m going to listen to that right now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJIKJcIdlVw
That’s my favorite album from them.
“You saw God.”
/deep cut response
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rinSsBXXU2o
“Last Train to Satansville” is also the title the chapter of my autobiography on the last time I had to visit my ex-wifey’s family reunion.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm_N27v38_Y
Hey 2Pack.
Thinking about taking eldest daughter and maybe TAJ to Napoli in mid September.
Thoughts?
Good time to go. I’ll hit up the oldest for tips. She has conferences there recently.
She says general guidance is to stick with the historic city center (centro storico). She was there twice in the past year and really enjoyed it.
Hell yeah it’s shoegaze o’clock
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_USHKQ4Ntc8
I just finished watching Scavengers Reign on Max. Starts out slow, but the ending was pretty awesome.
Have you seen Beef on Netflix?
Thoroughly enjoyed that.
“That show was a huge disappointment.” – Coach Reid
I have. It’s good.
Lots of twists.
Plus the 30 minute episode thing moved along with a good pace.
Woo happy 3 day weekend Americanos and Americanas and to our friends around the world.
Had a good day at work.
Finally after 2 months from my former second in charge retiring, I got to officially promote number 3 to a supervisor.
This ain’t no bullshit promotion he gets a 46% salary increase.
He’s a damn good person and I’m honored to have him as my lead.
I’ll bet he has himself a time this weekend.
Not more than Leticia James, but I’m sure he’ll have a nice time.
“I’m making you a captain Christopher. You’ve earned it.”
“About fucking time, T!”
Wait, wait… your name isn’t “yeah right”?!
Ok, time for attempt #2 at the historic bar tour. Let’s see if they actually rebooked me!
Apparently getting poked in the ovaries is similar to getting hit in the goolies, it’s just doesn’t happen that often what with them being internal and all
My former wife got poked in the ovaries.
Twice.
It’s Saturday here, but on the sexy side my eavesdropping leads me to believe that the 2 gentlemen on my right at the bar are on a first date! Both from out of town, so perhaps an app-enabled first date. Get it on, you two!
They both mispronounce ‘panacea’ though, poor Classics education that kids get these days, sad!
Jeez what are they teaching these kids. And I though gay guys made a point of knowing shit like that.
Their hair gel game is on point, so at least they’re fulfilling expectations on that score
Hey I’ve been out of touch for a bit, as is the way of our people, how is the job hunt going?
I have 3 interviews next week, one final rounder, and 2 prelim, then another middle stage one the week after. Some interesting options in there, so fingers crossed for something decent. Thank you for asking!
Good luck to you too!
Thank you!
Knock ’em dead kid!
Go get it Dok.
We believe in you.
I never judge anyone for mispronouncing a word, because it usually means they learned it via reading, and people who read are rad.
I’m not sure that’s as true as it used to be, what with the yootoobes and such. Though on balance I’m glad they have a decent vocabulary, it’s more of a kids/lawn moment
How many times do you think I read ‘bourgeoisie’ before I found out how it was pronounced.
Eight!
I seem to remember ‘Borge-ee-oy-see’ rattling around in my brain a lot.
I leave my Google search results open before I even begin to type.
I really hope they make it.
What a cool first date.
Well lady number 6 is kinda makin me goolies tingle. Well done Mr Ayo, Monica and I are having a splendid time here, certainly beats a kick in the nuts.
A very fine selection, sir. Both are indeed a better option than the Goolies strike.
Hour and a half late. BeerguyRob the gentleman he is picked me up and now we are drinking at a cash only underground bowling alley.
So you wander into a movie theatre in 1984 and see this scene.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dlwYwhvy3Q&ab_channel=ThomasFlight
Followed by this scene.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FqLmS86apE&ab_channel=RaccoonWarriorPrincess
No dialogue at all and you’re sitting on the edge of your seat the entire time. That’s when you think, “Who are these Coen brothers anyway?”.
Terminator needs clothes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFzwGg46waM
“Makes you think of all the poor Terminators out there that weren’t able to find new clothes, fresh water and a new forever home.”
-Sarah McLachlan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSz16ngdsG0&ab_channel=sarahmclachlanfan
Her song about “kiss you so hard, I’ll take your breath away” is an all-time Hippo favoUrite.
Kisses like that are better than sex, in my book.
/may not be especially good at sex
//certainly not now, but yeah, even back then
Hey, as far as sex is concerned, if you can make yourself moan you must be doing something right!
All the workers at the car dealership (at least service dept) were masked today. Are we gonna have MOAR goddamned #NuAIDS fuck up Diamond Joe’s re-election??
Hopefully we start doing what that Japanese do and mask up out of courtesy when we’re sick.
Being considerate of OTHERS? What about meeeeeeee???
Just how many Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters have you had tonight?
I’m pretty sure we’re a reality show for some sadistic aliens.
Back to the SEXY:
#1 – fire in teh hole amirite??
#8 – 100% the stripper I pay $20 every other song so she sits and talks to me
Nice to know your type!
ah mean, YOU see her shoulders, yeah??
I’m not going to get into the details but I think I deserve a hearty “Thank You” at the very least.
https://ca.sports.yahoo.com/news/former-kansas-and-nba-center-scot-pollard-receives-successful-heart-transplant-after-difficult-donor-search-012610571.html
you want a toe? I can getcha a toe.
Because you harvested the heart?
Is this a setup?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xECUrlnXCqk&ab_channel=DovidDovidson
This is from Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019), which I think is brilliant.
Watch this five minute clip. I never noticed before, but four minutes of it is a single continuous take, and a lot goes on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzVoT9LxiNk
Did Bruce Lee’s estate lawsuit ever go anywhere?
not sure
Because that scene was awesome, and no one should have to pay for it.
I think the lawsuit ended up on Han’s Island if I’m not mistaken. They lost in the semi-finals to the estate of Marvin Gaye-who sued Pharrell and Robin Thicke.
/speaking of “discount experiences” down below
//this happened a few years ago
Grocery Manager: “I was approached by another supplier and their prices are cheaper-I’m going to give them a try.”
Me: [kinda stunned] “Ok, well, if you need anything just give me a call.”
[five weeks later]
Grocery Manager: “This company sends me crap and refuses to give me credit on the stuff that I can’t sell. I guess I’m coming back to you with my tail between my legs.”*
Me: “Glad to have you back.”
*the ‘tail between my legs’ is a verbatim quote**
**I had no idea she was a Furry
Legit a furry?
Naw, just joking.
You rubbed your bollocks on future orders, dintya?
Considering the last sentence, as least it wasn’t “my dick between my legs”.
The job I interviewed for with the massive red flags for back to me today. Shockingly I didn’t get the job. I was the token external candidate they needed to interview. Oh well. I applied to a different role today. One that says it’s hybrid but it’s in New York. We’re gonna see what their definition of hybrid really means…
[hears the word “hybrid” and perks up] – KelcePig
Half man, half pig, half Kelce.
Once again – we needs to compile an enemies list. And plan an excursion to SPITE THEM ALL.
Good luck! Does the company have any other offices kind of near you?
And go leave that other place a shitty review on glassdoor
Thanks! No offices near me, they’re a league so it’s NY or bust. I’m expecting nothing but why not take a shot.
Totally, if they love you they should be willing to negotiate on full remote
Hippo, trying to write during off-season hay-ellllll:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRrn67ovuRQ
I haven’t hit anyone in the Goolies, but I did hit them in the upper thigh.
The last time I took a incapacitating hit in the Goolies was in grade school. Years later Cyndie Lauper told me my Goolies were gonna be okay.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Scu81EW4UC8&ab_channel=The80sJukebox
[is so fucking sick of hearing that music EVERY GODDAMN FRIDAY NIGHT] – Olivia Manning
I got hit in the Goolies with a baseball in Little League. The coach made me lie down on the ground like a starfish face down until the pain went away.
My nuts were purple for a week but luckily the ball landed between my dick and the testicles, so it wasn’t that bad.
The fucked up part is that it wasn’t even in the game. It was during warmups as we were tossing the ball back and forth.
Lesson: Don’t turn and make a joke to your friends if you don’t have the ball in your hand or glove.
I played goalie for three years before a coach bothered asking me if I wore a Nut Cup. My mom and dad had no idea (how is that possible?) that it was mandatory equipment. Just think, if a wonkily-deflected puck had hit the mark, I’d never be the father of a pair of skull-fractured kids! smgdh…
You have multiple skull injured children?! What the hell happened to the other kid?!
Not more than a month(?) later the oldest got into a kerfuffle with a buddy that slept with his ex that wasn’t my son’s ex at the time of the coming-together, if you will. There was an exchange of opinions and an empty 40oz. vodka bottle was introduced to the proceedings by a third party.
Or they would have been born already fractured, which would have been a time saver
She said they were ” good enough.” Not exqctly a ringing endorsement, Scotchy!
Exactly. Shit piss fuck.
I’m sure the edit issue will be attended to any day now.
My condo complex has been changing out skylights and this week was my turn. They are a new size so there was carpentry involved. On Monday they did the exterior and it sounded like a war what with the nail guns and such. Today, they did the drywall on the interior. This was all directly above my studio workstation, which is a not-inexpensive mound of gear, plus all my shelves. I’m in a project so nothing could be moved or disconnected.
I sat in the same room with them the whole time, reading my iPad until I went nuts, and then I started watching the two guys work very precisely as a team, since the obvious boss guy was up on a ladder the entire time. It was pretty cool. They were very good.
This looks like Christo is my decorator.
“I get this arty-farty reference.”
-Running Fence, HOA warrior
Ayo’s plans for the offseason (artist’s conception):
Pay for a budget airline. Get a budget airline.
Freaking out shows you are expecting better. You shouldn’t.
When I go discount and get a bad discount experience I quietly stew in my own
juicesstupidity.(also juices)
At least you aren’t stewing in maggots, like that poor bitch on Delta. Once when I was about 11 or so, my frenemy Jennie Breniser took a stick and knocked a cobweb full of those tent caterpillars on my head. I made her pick them off of me, then I beat the shit out of her. We had a complicated relationship.
Jet Blue is about as budget of an airline as in willing to go
I love JetBlue
Flying them to Yinzburgh next month.
I’ve flown them multiple times cross country from LA to Boston and New York. Great airline and great service each time.
I would make a point of taking the Long Beach – D.C. flight whenever I needed to make the trip.
Yes! I’ve done Long Beach to NY too! Long Beach is great!