Sexy Friday – 20240405

TGIF! It’s Final Four (4) time. The ladies are playing right now, and the gentlemen hit the hardwood tomorrow. And there’s F1 practice 3 (9:25 DFO, 7:25 right coast) and qualifying later tonight (12:55am DFO, 10:55pm right coast).

Survival – Personal Edition

With spring comes warmer weather. With warmer weather brings evenings on the back porch watching the sun set. Which is also a great time to smoke a cigar. Here’s a handy guide on how to properly smoke a cigar.

  • A cigar has two ends, a head and a foot. The foot is what’s lit, and the head is what’s sucked smoked. The first step is to clip the cap at the head of the cigar. Use a proper cigar cutter for this and make sure the cut is less than a 1/4 of an inch. If you cut beyond on the cap, the cigar wrapper can come apart. If you don’t have a cigar cutter, what are you even doing? But fine, just poke a hole in the cap with a pencil or pen.
  • Hold the cigar in your non dominant hand, grasping on the half toward the head. Now use a torch lighter to toast the foot of the cigar. At this point, do not hold the cigar to your lips. Instead, slowly rotate the cigar while lighting the foot of the cigar. The foot should be evenly and thoroughly lit before continuing.
  • Now, bring the head to your lips. Begin sucking on the cigar slowly and evenly while still holding the torch lighter an inch or two from the foot.
  • Continue puffing gently until the foot is completely lit. Also, be like Clinton and don’t inhale.
  • Enjoy the flavor of the smoke in your mouth for a few seconds, then exhale to expel the smoke. Remember, no inhaling!
  • Now repeat the last two steps. You’ll want to puff on that cigar at least once per minute to keep the foot lit. You’ll also want to rotate the cigar in your fingers and keep the foot elevated to maintain an even burn. Do not squeeze the cigar!
  • As you puff, the foot will turn into ash. Allow between 1/2 to 1/1 an inch to form before ashing. Your ashing technique should be no more than a gentle finger tap. If the ash doesn’t fall, then wait and try later. If you’re not in any danger of damaging clothes or furniture, have a little competition and see how long you can get the ash before it falls off on its own.
  • A cigar can be extinguished and discarded once 1/2 to 3/4 of the cigar has been smoked. Where you stop is dependent on the flavor and temperature of the smoke. The more it burns, the smoke will get hotter and harsher. Use your own personal preference to determine when to stop and be mindful that will be different for different types of cigars.

Now go make a quick trip to Cuba and get stocked up for the summer.

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Mr. Ayo
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Brick Meathook

Still waiting for “approval” on a previous post (it’s a Japanese cartoon girl being spanked)

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ballsofsteelandfury

Done

Brick Meathook

Hold on a sec Balls, you changed the erotic cartoon Japanese young lady being spanked (and I mean spanked) into some dumb Texas kid throwing baseballs. Let’s see that young cartoon Japanese girl’s ass, red after a brutal spanking, depicted by talented Japanese artists who hail from that weird-ass country.

Brick Meathook

Speaking of college hoops, illegal cigars, and of course nuclear submarine engineering plants, here a beautiful compilation of 20-year-old Kerry Wood’s strike-out record:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbICt4N4U-w

Horatio Cornblower

My daughter returned from a trip to London and Edinburgh today and brought me a bottle of this.

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People, I am in deep, deep trouble over here.

litre_cola

Best country in the world unless you are blatantly religious.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m a fairly devout atheist.

litre_cola

IN! Watch your nose, support Falkirk.

ArmedandHammered

Annoying situation or most annoying situation, I a sitting outside our hotel because someone needed to go to sleep due to the hard day of drinking really good wine, and somewhere a fucking smoke detector needs a new battery. I could go in but would mean I let it win.

Horatio Cornblower

Do you have access to a hammer?

litre_cola

What in the fuck do you think he is armed with?

ArmedandHammered

I have to admit I left my hammer at home, fucking TSA and their rules.

ArmedandHammered

I would have to find it and my motor skills are wonked right now.

Horatio Cornblower

UConn presser is all questions about the call. Geno needs to step in and say “The call sucked. it was terrible. There’s no guarantee that we would have made the shot, but that call sucked, the official who made the call sucks, and the fact the a flight just took off directly from the Serbian Secret Service airfield to Cleveland is mere coincidence. We will take no further questions.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Can the NCAA fine athletes? I assume not, so it would have been greatly entertaining if one of the Husky women had gone full tin-foil and insisted that it was clear that the corrupt refs had that call in their back pocket and pulled it out when they got the call from ESPN to make a Caitlin Clark final happen.

/to be clear, I don’t think it was a conspiracy or even an incorrect call, I just think it was supremely fucking lame to throw a bucket of cold water on what would have been a nail-biting attempt at a buzzer beater.

litre_cola

All of this

yeah right

Folks, twelve hours from now I will be on the gravy flight.

Fingers crossed, heathen gods have been hosannaed.

Yeah, here we go!

yeah right
rockingdog

Found a funny:

an earthquake three days before a total eclipse of the sun would absolutely have taken out a whole ass dynasty back in the day

ArmedandHammered

That last lovely lass leaves a most magnificent mental image.

litre_cola
litre_cola

I pride myself on sending the shittiest vodka, a big turk, and now Kraft dinner to the TWBS FF league. I do not think I can get away with this.

yeah right

I wouldn’t board a plane with that.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, maybe a Boeing.

I mean, how much worse could it get?

Sharkbait

Also don’t knock the Kraft dinner. That shit is going in the pantry as a break glass in case of emergency “Sharkette is losing her god damn mind get her some dinner right fucking now” backup plan.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh, Kraft dinners for kids under 10 is an absolute must.

litre_cola

Ours is different than yours too

Gumbygirl

My kid wouldn’t eat mac and cheese, so our emergency dinner was beenie weenies.

ArmedandHammered

Which was why my mom kept frozen hot dogs and cans of baked beans for a home brew version when my sibs got picky.

ArmedandHammered

But I loved it and have tried to emulate.

Brick Meathook

That’s the greatest thing since I saw Sav-On brand charcoal filtered vodka in the convenient 2L plastic jug stacked three-high at the Sav-On drugstore in Venice when I first moved to California. “This is it,” I said to myself. “This is the place.”

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus wept.

ballsofsteelandfury

Wow. That’s enough to resurrect TWBS

ArmedandHammered

I think we would need more components- some weed, ass herpes sample, and some pics of hot women wrestlers, maybe the phone number to a young totally smoking woman.

ballsofsteelandfury

The woman would need to be a Nazi

Horatio Cornblower

The bar I was at usually closes at 10. Post-Covid CT bar hours are bullshit, but that’s another story. They called last call in the third quarter of the UConn game but let everyone stay for the rest of the game.

UConn women had a great season. Basically played 6 kids due to injuries and did way better than anyone had a right to expect. Final Four and down to the wire against Iowa is nothing to be ashamed of.

Iowa is a great team and Caitlyn Clark is a phenomenal player, (but until and unless she wins multiple championships she can sit in the back of the bus while Maya Moore, Diana Taurasi, Sue Bird, and Breanna Stewart ride up front), and there’s no shame in losing to them.

THAT SAID, the officiating in women’s basketball is beyond embarrassing. A dumpster fire outside of an abortion clinic is a better watch. The offensive call against UConn on their last possession cannot be made. If that’s a foul there is no such thing as a clean pick. There’s no guarantee UConn makes the shot, but in making that call, (which is being repeatedly called out on ESPN, including by a former Tennessee player who said, and I quote “it sucked”), the officials took the game away from the players when they absolutely did not need to, and in a way that was frankly well away from the way they’d called the rest of the game.

Great season by the Lady Huskies, (which technically would be ‘Bitches’ but thanks to the woke mob we can’t say that), great season by the Lady Hawkeyes (?) (Maybe, not really sure), and good luck to them agains the absolute juggernaut that is Dawn Staley and the South Carolina women’s program. They’re undefeated for a reason.

As for the NCAA women’s officiating?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTOKJTRHMdw

litre_cola

A dumpster fire outside of an abortion clinic is a better watch.

aftertaste – Malort

Sharkbait

Accurate

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A dumpster fire outside of an abortion clinic sounds like Lauren Boebert’s origin story

Horatio Cornblower

It’s not an original line from me, so it could be.

Although I can guarantee I’ve never read Boebert’s autobiography, other than perhaps accidentally seeing parts of it while perusing the Penthouse Forum stories.

ArmedandHammered

Vaping some Ghost Train Haze, and I fear I will not be certain much longer.

ArmedandHammered

Or coherent.

litre_cola

Vaping is a crap shoot. I have a post on Sunday about my transition to vaping. THC and Nicotine

PLUS with a return of Snaxx.

ArmedandHammered

I am keeping track of the brands and the strains used. I have only seen carts with everything clearly delineated, such as % of thc, cbd, as well as a full ingredient list. I am staying away from that delta 8 crap.

litre_cola

I am currently wine drunk and melted. Which may be my FF name

litre_cola

I was on the Spotify machine. The dude Gotye’s song Somebody That I used To Know, which is superb, has a billion listens. He has done nothing since. He is his song?

fleshwound_NPG

she gave her a bit of a chicken wing on that screen and thats prob what got the whistle

Horatio Cornblower

Bullshit call. What got the call was the NCAA wanting Caitlyn Clark against South Carolina in the final.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[angrily hands Lowratio his outfit for the evening] – Horatio Cornblower

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litre_cola

Fuckin Geordies – me, tomorrow

Horatio Cornblower

I wouldn’t do that to him.

Even I have some limits.

Sharkbait

I need to go here. Except it’s in Nashville and probably is constantly playing country music shit so I would wish for an actual shark to come and eat me.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5JNiaSO03L/?igsh=N2oyYW1tZ28weXM2

Horatio Cornblower

Got friends in Nashville. Will check and report back.

ballsofsteelandfury

Dude!

Last edited 8 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Caitlin Clark has done more for white people than deep fried Botox.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I came. I saw. I was arrested for public indecency.

SonOfSpam

So this Caitlin Clark.

She can play.

Sincerely hope this is the dam breaking on women dominating this sport.

fleshwound_NPG

at least in the college side of things, with the men’s players and coaches transfer-portaling all over and stars just not being made like they used to

SonOfSpam

Sure this is a specific moment. But I’m hoping for more.

Anyway YAY SPORTS

litre_cola

I will say for me, womens cbb is the only “major” sport I will watch. Sweet sixteen on. I am a futbol freak if ye did nae know, but I still am never in to a game like I just was. Last year in a bar in Flagstaff too. It is an odd target.

fleshwound_NPG

an non-primetime game for the title?

whatever abc

SonOfSpam

Fuck yes, everything a sports fan could want.