Let’s do some brain drippings shall we?
Packers/Eagles/Brazil:
Any suggestions as to who should be tortured to death at the end of the game due to a spelling error? The Friday night tilt means that we’ll have 7(?) featured games (Thursday, Friday, three on Sunday and Monday doubleheader(?)) the first weekend. I say just hook that stuff right into my bloodstream-that’s-as-thick-as-mud. The Googler tells me that of all the countries in the world Brazil has the 3rd-largest Packers fan base so it should have been a no-brainer for them and it helps to insure a sellout. It always takes them forever to get there but the NFL is kinda smart when it comes to marketing the game.
Rashee Rice Race:
The fastest wide receiver in Texas has been charged with eight(8!) felonies, none of which so far include leaving the scene so look for more to come. There is a bright side though-no one was seriously hurt and a Chiefs playbook was found in one of the vehicles so you know he’s a student of the game.
Where Were You?:
I was eating seafood linguine with my then girlfriend on Elgin Street at a semi-upscale Italian restaurant when the infamous Bronco chase (or the replay of it) was showing on every channel on the dial. It was oddly gripping because I’d not seen anything like it before and it seemed no one knew how it would end.
Boeheim Lite:
Not a low calorie beer from Big Schnozz Breweries out of Syracuse, New York but Tom Izzo. Doesn’t he give off that funk? He’s got just the one champeenship way back in 99-00 despite reaching the Final Four eight times, has a .706 winning record, has been at the same school for his entire career and at the age of 69 seems to be increasingly irrelevant.
Absolutely Nothing:
What does it mean when Tom Brady says during the Deep Cuts poddy that he’s “not opposed” to joining a team mid-season this year and comparing himself to MJ’s time with the Wizards? Well, you read the header for this.
Just Hang On:
For those that are missing good old American football there are some things coming up that may interest you. The Euros start on June 14th followed shortly thereafter on June 20th by the Copa. Those tourneys will almost get us to the Olympics which start on July 26th.
Reflected Glory Alert:
My 14 yr-old niece is out in B.C. competing in the U16 category of the Whistler Cup. There’s 450 competitors total from 25 or so nations across a number of competitions-after one day of racing in the Super G she finished in the top 20! I couldn’t be more proud.
That was a horrible segue wasn’t it? Have an excellent evening.
Ex-coworker passed away while on vacation. I miss the guy. Having said that, I laughed when I saw this text on Slack at work. Harsh!
THAT is so that guy’s slack picture.
PAGING REDSHIRT!
https://www.instagram.com/fiftywestbrew/p/C5Tu5Z2MwDN/?img_index=1
Obligatory:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQUz1c4trBw
Brazil, man. That’s a movie right there. I just ordered the criterion version dvd. And a gently used kingpin. Big spring for this guy.
“Which is better, speaking no English at all, or speaking Howard Cosell?”
Found a funny:
COWORKER RECENTLY OUT OF THE HOSPITAL: i blew a tire on a mountain road and crashed thru the guardrail, rolling end over end down a cliff into a creek. i was trapped for hours upside-down & near death until a man walking his dog found me and called 911
ME: what kind of dog was it
A rockingdog!
The best kind!
Kings vs Pelicans is kinda rocking 🏀
Got a message from my bartender friend. Apparently the guy who owns his bar knows someone rather important at Buffalo Trace, because his bar (apparently) has the Pappy allotment for all of New England. I’m gonna be there A LOT this summer
Pappy what?
So the tax preparer said ” good news! You’re getting $114 back from the state.” Literally two seconds later, the computer changed it to zero. Fuck! At least we’re not paying.
I’m somehow getting more from the state than I got from federal. I’m still confused, but then I remembered Trump and his sycophants changed the taxes and then it all makes sense.
Narrator: It didn’t make any damn sense at all.
It always works like that for me. I get money back from the state, and have to pay federal. And the missus and I always have this conversation at tax time:
Her: We owe the feds money again, darn it.
Me: If we want money back, you have to increase your withholding by lowering your allowances. I’m already claiming zero allowances.
Her: *hears Charlie Brown teacher noises*
(I know, I can increase it by $x per paycheck. I think we’re actually trying to outstubborn each other at this point.)
Some would say getting money back is worse than owing the feds a predicable lick on 4/15.
But others might mind Some’s own business, like OJ didn’t when he killed his ex wife and a waiter.
In theory you want to withhold as little as possible, because it’s better sitting in your bank account earning you interest than sitting in Uncle Sam’s bank account earning him interest.* But, speaking for myself, that happy little moment when you find out you’re getting a refund is kind of nice. Sure, it’s pure animal brain.
*My Finance professor told us this, and said he had the max alllowances that the IRS would let him have. He said it was 10, but this was 1983 or so, not 2024. I’m officially old.
Seems the Ice Stillers game is bananacakes.
vão pássaros
Top Twenty is amazing! Congrats!
The season finale of To Release the Kraken!!!
I am going to have to search for a good shot of that blond in the 80’s version of Clash of the Titans naked in the bath scene. You know, the one where the hand maidens are preparing her for sacrifice to the Kraken. That way every time you ask for it, there is a DFO appropriate response.
How’s this?
v
Or this?
.
Harry Hamlin, handsome himbo? Why yes, yes please!
Better this one
Excellent work, sir!
That’s a nice looking arena, Ayo. There’s a lot of blue there..
A friend of mine may lose his hand to stave off an aggressive tumor from spreading. He just turned 28.
Fucking cancer is evil.
This is true. But also, he should hang out with Brick and they can do fun amputee shit
They would be very bad at the Hokey Pokey.
That’s using your Doktorb!
“DOCTORB” will never not be funny
Good Lord, are you people actually joking about cancer and amputations? I’m a fun guy with a sense of humor, but please let me know if you want to go down this road, because I’ll take you there.
You can’t have one single fucking good day without blowing it, can you, cancer?
The Cheatin Penguins are at it again, led in part by former San Jose Sharks legend Erik Karlsson
Meanwhile the Ice Giants are coasting against the Ice Iggles. They need to wake the hell up.
Let the Stars have the curse, I guess? Wait, they’re down 3-0.
Uh, go Blues tomorrow?
Hell yeah they are!!! Ice Bombers are hot!
WhyIoughtta…
Hooray, your niece!
As she is just fourteen, when I have the time and patience I’m going to look to see how many 15 yr old’s are ahead of her because she’s got another year to compete in this age category and is only going to get better.
/looking up 15 yr old girls online-I can practically hear the sirens blaring at RCMP headquarters
https://www.theonion.com/pete-townshend-cant-explain-1819587273
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZrAYxWPN6c
BWAP BWAP
So many stoned college nights shooting pool to this and DMX.
Olympics someday!
It’s of course such a long shot but she has dual Canadian/Scottish citizenship and the competition is uh, significantly reduced should she go the latter route and somehow achieve a qualifying time.
Did you see that guy swimming for the Saudis in the summer Olympics? She probably has a qualifying time already, if he did.
As opposed to “Ozempic someday”, which is a prospect the rest of us face.
Big night for those of you still alive in Fantasy Ice Football. Good luck.
I have a hankering to attend the Brazil tilt. If I resume having a salary again before tickets sell out it may very well be a go. I’ll be in Guyana the week before so easy to hop down.
Also, if Declan McKenna ain’t announcing Packers/Iggles, Peacock is missing a trick.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHgh77iE6qc
Get cracking, Chinese slave chilluns, Hippo looks like he’ll be needing a Lesser Falacons shirt for Kwanzaa!
/also very cool on the reflected glory, this is same niece you tried your hobo disposal “humoUr” out upon, right? I hope you very passively-aggressively point out to your skull-fracturing idjits how they could be more like their little cousin
Our top story tonight, disgraced, former NFL icon, actor and spokesmen O.J. Simpson is still dead.
I’d have him stop by Request Line so I could get a few kicks in, but I’ve already done all of the topics I can think of that would be relevant. God, what a piece of shit he was.
Has there been one about bloody gloves? Or pool boys?
For gloves we’ve already done “hands” (Bob Kraft) and pool boys we’ve done “poolside” (Arantxa Sanchez Vicario) and “submersion” (DJ 3000 and Petunia when the Moskva got sunk)
Highways or trucks or law/lawyers
How about songs that cars feature in.
First pick should be “Convoy”.
Actually this has pointed me in the right direction of a decent topic that we’ve surprisingly never done before, so thank you!
https://youtu.be/_6_Sp-YFyn0?si=MmwuEFJkYfQ1XTft