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Saturday Night Off-season Open Thread 11

ballsofsteelandfury

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In these Off-season Open Threads, I’ll sum up the week that was, provide you with TMI-style information, and throw some random spaghetti at the wall and see if it sticks.

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Today, I played in the latest tournament for my home golf club. I’m really getting behind on my Balls Magazine posts! I earnestly apologize and I endeavour to do better.

***

I am irrationally happy and excited for the Summer Olympics in Paris this year. I don’t really have a specific reason why, but I’m really looking forward to it.

It is a good thing that I got that Peacock deal when it was something like $30 for a whole year. I’m hearing they’re jacking up the price in advance of the Olympics starting.

Truthfully, they’ll make a mint and I don’t blame them. That’s just good business.

***

I am ramping up my project at work that will keep me busy through December. I apologize in advance for my lack of presence in the comments. However, be assured that I will be checking in periodically to regain my sanity and I will be writing about soccer and AFL.

In a related matter, the field is set for the SUMMER OF SOCCER! I have updated the graph for you:

***

I just finished Round 5 of my Iron Curtain workout program and I’ve already set a new personal best for Squats at 280 pounds and a new personal best for Deadlift at 320 pounds. My goal has been to exceed 800 pounds for the Squats, Deadlift, and Bench. My previous personal best for Bench was 210, so assuming I haven’t regressed, I should be good to go! I’ll let you know next week how I did.

***

To follow up on my item from last week about my friend from work that said the wrong thing at the wrong time, it seems disaster had been averted. He’s still on the job and we’re moving forward.

If he was younger and wanted to promote, his chances would have been reduced, but he’s retiring soon and he DGAF anymore, which is a good thing. My plan is to make him the shining star of this project and let him ride off into the sunset with all the glory.

***

I’ve noticed that I’m becoming more and more of the stereotypical old fart that complains about “these kids today”, but GODDAM these kids today! So fucking soft…

I blame the education system. I want to scream at the top of my lungs “THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A SAFE SPACE IN THE REAL WORLD, YOU DUMBASS!” but then I’m the asshole.

***

Your weekly Psych gif:

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Your weekly hot girl pic:

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Your weekly music video:

Bonus remix !

Fuck, I love drum n bass.

***

I’m assuming there are sports on tonight OTHER THAN THE STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS THE BEST TOURNAMENT IN THE WORLD, but honestly I don’t care.

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

The Napier Sabre is a British H-24-cylinder, liquid-cooled, sleeve valve, piston aero engine, designed by Major Frank Halford and built by D. Napier & Son during World War II. The engine evolved to become one of the most powerful inline piston aircraft engines in the world, developing from 2,200 hp (1,600 kW) in its earlier versions to 3,500 hp (2,600 kW) in late-model prototypes

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Doktor Zymm

I wonder if this works for people too?

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2Pack

It’s all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye with an email.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sure, haven’t you taken transit before? Reception underground is usually very poor.

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Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm

Sexy!

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Brick Meathook

The Napier Deltic engine is a British opposed-piston valveless, supercharged uniflow scavenged, two-stroke diesel engine used in marine and locomotive applications, designed and produced by D. Napier & Son. Unusually, the cylinders were disposed in a three-bank triangle, with a crankshaft at each corner of the triangle.

The gearbox:

https://ibb.co/BZzkhkD

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ballsofsteelandfury

I saw this at an orgy once…

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

There’s a bitchin’ thunderstorm in D.C. right now!

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2Pack

I think each generation goes through the, “these kids today” phase. I have noticed that many of them write like 8 year olds. PT has gone more along the cross fit line which is generally OK but stamina suffers I think. There is no reason why a 65 year old guy should be passing 20 somethings 4 miles into a 5 mile run.

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Brick Meathook

I like this post because each sentence is seemingly unrelated to the others.

Well done!

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2Pack

It throws off those pesky linear thinkers.

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Brick Meathook

Partially disassembled Bristol Hercules 14-cylinder radial piston aircraft engine, illustrating the great British love of building engines with 50,000 moving parts:

https://ibb.co/SsxZNkt

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Doktor Zymm

The English have some weird hobbies

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Sharkbait

They can’t colonize anymore. They need to pass time somehow

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yeah right

I’ll bet you could make a bunch of fine running watches out of that.

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Mr. Ayo

I could build that

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ballsofsteelandfury

Drunk?

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Mr. Ayo

Of course

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2Pack

Lubrication must be a bitch.

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Doktor Zymm

There’s a Ben Shapiro joke here that I just can’t phrase correctly

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2Pack

Sure you can. Ben should read some Masters and Johnson. To this day I thank my highschool Phycology 101 teacher for going over that.

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Doktor Zymm

1983 Glenfrome Facet

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ballsofsteelandfury

That looks like a Moon Mobile

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2Pack

Right out of Space 1999.

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Sharkbait

I’m an Olympics junkie. We’re going to host an opening ceremony party where everyone has to pick a country and bring/make something from that nation. Last time we did that I was Australia and I made kangaroo.

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Gumbygirl

I love the Olympics too. Winter Games more than Summer, but I will watch both happily. As soon as that kettle drum starts , I am all in!

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Sharkbait

John Williams score ftw. My dad used to work for NBC Olympics so we always watched to see where Dad was growing up. Also made it possible for me to go to Sydney before I games there so that was super fun

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Gumbygirl

I am determined to go to something in LA. We were in Georgia for the 96 games, but didn’t go to anything. My son’s teacher ran with the torch, we went an watched her run. She was the only bright spot of his middle school years.

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yeah right

“This IS THE Olympic theme song!

This is the sing that we’ll play every fucking day!”

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s awesome!

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Gumbygirl

I know, right? We should crash his Olympic party. I will go as Jamaica, mon!

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Sharkbait

The more the merrier! Jamaica can bring rum, weed, or good jerk chicken. I can’t lose!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want to go as Korea! I can bring fried chicken and kimchi and soju!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also Korean corn dogs are SO HOT right now.

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Sharkbait

It’s super fun and makes for an interesting pot luck party.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I smell a Mock Draft topic!

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SonOfSpam

If you pick an African country can you just bring whatever Sally Struthers airdropped?

That sounds like a ton of fun. I’d pick Hungary and bring nothing.

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Sharkbait

We started this theme during the Rio games and my brother in law legit brought dirty muddy water and claimed it as Brazil ‘s entry

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Mr. Ayo

I’ll pick Russia and bring all the steroids

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Doktor Zymm

Good thing you mentioned this ahead of time, it would have been so embarrassing if I picked China and brought the same dish!

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Gumbygirl

You mean the Federation, or whatever they have to call themselves now. Not Russia? The Athletes Formerly Known as Russia? Rusha?

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yeah right

From scratch?

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Brick Meathook

Old Porsche something-or-other
Ashburn VA, today

https://ibb.co/wBpJ6Rj

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Doktor Zymm

Uglier than the Cybertruck or no?

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yeah right

I thought it was a cyber truck.

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Doktor Zymm

1976 Aston-Martin Lagonda, surprisingly enough!

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Gumbygirl

Lagonda made nicer cars than that fugmobile. They were bitchin’ in the 30’s

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Doktor Zymm

Nice later models too, no idea why they experimented with being uglier than a baboon butt

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Gumbygirl

That has the 70’s written all over it. Not a high point of automotive design. Or any kind of design, really.

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yeah right

That’s a Pacer!

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Sharkbait

Looks like the cyber truck has a cyber trust and made a car out of wedlock

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Sharkbait

Damn Vichy Whalers. Oh well weren’t sweeping them anyway. Taskmaster and whiskey helps ease the pain of the inevitable “former ranger scoring against them” narrative

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rockingdog

Found a funny:

NORTHERN LIGHTS: Take my picture! Please! I don’t look great now but the photos will be spectacular, bursts of green and pink! Take as many photos as you can!
THE MOON: Do not take my photo, if you little apes dare to photograph me I will be so tiny, I swear to god I will make myself so goddamn tiny

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WCS

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yeah right

Saturday night guitar session in action!

Question.

To Senor: when you’re playing violin at a paid gig, do you wash your hands after taking a piss?

Serious question. Because you wash your hands before playing guitar you will shred them.

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Doktor Zymm

In my years playing violin as a kid I never shredded anything, fingers, hands or otherwise

Maybe you just need to build up some calluses? Or dry more thoroughly?

Edit: Guitar strings are probably thinner than violin strings, so that might be the difference?

Last edited 1 year ago by Doktor Zymm
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King Hippo

oof, really gots to hope the guitar/fiddle feller don’t ever need a mid-session poop

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Senor Weaselo

Absolutely, you don’t want that getting on the neck. But also fewer calluses because it’s just the left hand and I assume you shredded the right?

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yeah right

Yes. The right. I only occasionally use a pick. The blood spray could be used for future criminal justice majors.

I do attack my strings but this is just me.

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yeah right

I’m kind of trying to play in this style.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENBX_v1Po1Y

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Brick Meathook

1963 Corvette
Ashburn VA, today

https://ibb.co/kQfWmnR

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Brick Meathook

https://ibb.co/TwW3PPW

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Brick Meathook

https://ibb.co/7zN0H8Z

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WCS

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Brick Meathook

https://ibb.co/9nv8f4Q

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Brick Meathook

Shelby Cobra
Ashburn VA, today

https://ibb.co/HqH3Chm

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WCS

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Mr. Ayo

Slow

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blaxabbath

My kid is 5. The world is nothing more than people sitting around talking. If something is good, they “whatabout” the bad, regardless of the indifference in value. If something is absolutely royally fucked to oblivion, they’ll find a way to busy themselves with debate about oblivion could be enjoyed with these five items from Amazon.

Someone around here made the point that WW3 is as active as WW2 was, prior to Poland. I buy it. I also buy that everything that was going to come true — kids growing up on phones have young adults FUCKED; overcrowding in everything is here; temperatures are increasing; and people are fat and dumb as ever; and it’s every man for himself.

I don’t blame schools for any of that. The dumbest fucking people influence the government– is it any surprise schools are fucked?

Sorry — I think I’m hungry. Also, should be closing on Hawaii place this month and that shit would never have been in the works had I only worked 80% as hard ad I have.

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yeah right

Be calm Brudda, Aloha soon come.

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blaxabbath

I’ve been pretty good at keeping the stress rash down on pure will alone.

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Brick Meathook

Tesla pick-up truck
Ashburn VA, today

https://ibb.co/0Z937RL

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ballsofsteelandfury

So fucking ugly

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Doktor Zymm

Good thing the doors, which will slice open your legs, and the trunk, which will break your fingers, are both closed, and it’s off, so it’s mostly safe to be that close to it

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blaxabbath

Did it just be some man who just finished having anonymous sex with some random dude in an office park stairwell before going home to his wife and kids?

Because that shit is closet homosexual.

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WCS

A few weeks ago, my brother told me he saw one flipped in Marin County, CA. I told him to tell the dumbass driver/owner that Batman’s car is still much cooler.

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fleshwound_NPG

the tesla cybertruck: if a pontiac aztec and a delorean had sloppy anal sex several hours after a 2am taco bell bender. the doritos locos taco-laden anal seepage then mixes with the semen and drips into the vagina. nine months later is ralph nader’s antichrist: a vehicle that is unsafe even when not moving

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ballsofsteelandfury

It should be called The Aristocrats!

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Senor Weaselo

I saw one and seriously thought “Shit, is that a Pontiac Aztek?”

Imagine my disappointment when it was just the first Cybertruck I saw in the wild.

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Doktor Zymm

I’m gonna blame social media or whatever it is that’s destroyed kids’ mental health. Schools have always been ‘safe spaces’ even if they didn’t call them that.

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ballsofsteelandfury

My one and only physical fight was in fifth grade at school during lunchtime.

I punched him to the ground and that was pretty much the gist of it.

Apparently, telling all the onlookers that they didn’t see anything kept me out of trouble.

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WCS

Yeah, but, it wasn’t exactly an ordinary punch.

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And the onlookers loved it, anyway.

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