Hello there fellow DFOer. In case you didn’t notice last week (how dare you?), GTD has been given a two week reprieve from forced labor vacation, so he asked for volunteers in his place. DonT knocked it out of the park last week, and you’re stuck with me today. What are you gonna do about it? If you’re new to the conceit, this post is a comment roundup from the previous week. GTD always says “There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.” Frankly, I call bullshit. There is always a reason, whether it was because it was fucking hilarious or touching or otherwise hit a nerve. Do you necessarily understand the reason? No, and you don’t have to. But trust me, there’s a reason. This week, the reason will be because I noticed your wit (or reasonable proximity thereof). Fortunately it was a slow news week last week, no huge events driving the commentary, right? :ahem: Anyway…
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous [in bed].
–Alexander Hamilton
Gotta keep trying new things, as long as there’s enthusiastic consent. Also confidence is sexy. Write that down.
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. (N/A in Canada or generally this week, when I’m doing whatever the hell I want).
Also, not gonna lie, (despite last week’s ray of sunshine) I’m crankier than normal this week. Might have to do with work, maybe it’s because I broke a finger playing footy over the weekend. Either way, I blame balls. Still, though, congrats to balls on his 1000th post on DFO, huge accomplishment!
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Today is the 28th anniversary of now Mrs GTD and I’s first date. I definitely out kicked my coverage with her.
GameTimeDecision
[Editor’s Note: Is it sucking up to start with this?]
Ah, Super Bowl XVI. That one where the Bengals laid an egg.
XXIII, we nearly took out the 49ers dynasty when two (or three if ’94 counts) other teams failed to even get close to.
LVI, almost pulled it off, but the Rams Defensive Front won that Super Bowl. No fluke there.
XVI, yeah, we sucked ass and blew chunks all over the Silverdome.
Redshirt
Last time I saw someone this interested in self harm, they were listening to my chemical romance
Brocky
THIS GUY ANTHONY EDWARDS I CALL HIM KYRIE IRVING BECAUSE HE IS TRYING TO DEMONSTRATE THAT GRAVITY IS A HOAX.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
I mean… how did that work out for him?
Brocky
Another billionaire is headed for the Titanic in a self-designed submersible.
This “too many billionaires” problem may just sort itself out.
Horatio Cornblower
Sharkbait
Jesus, how many paper towels did Brick send you to get this much airtime?
BrettFavresColonoscopy
GTD Reflections is normally a Brick-free zone. This edition confused me.
Brick Meathook
… and that is why the tale of Foosteps Falco, similar to Plagueis The Wise, is a tragedy.
ThePirateSloth
Justice Alito announces his support for a woman’s right to choose *looks back at letter* flags.
LoL
rockingdog
He’s staunchly pro-wife.
LOL
rockingdog
THESE DALLAS STARS, I CALL THEM HORATIO, BECAUSE THEY JUST GOT FUCKED BY A SHORTY
Dunstan
One must note that, despite being fuckshit but uneducated guesswork, DFO Legal Analysis was spot fucking on!
KingHippo
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahaha[pause for a deep breath] hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha[pause- choking and wheezing]hahahahahahaha! .!!!!
FUCK YOU TRUMP!!!
Gumbygirl
was about to go to the mexican joint to have some nachos and a cerveza with the wife n 4 year old when i saw the news, waited 30 mins, and then the verdict came
*quickly goes into sports jersey closet before leaving*
fleshwound_NPG
Remember, in the multiverse, the NFL let him buy the Bills in 2012, and none of this ever happens.
WCS
Also, good call on DonT’s beneficence. He is a real muchacho, assuming that means “guy who is well-hung but not a jerk about it”
SonOfSpam
The Queens Daily Eagle is today’s winner
https://queenseagle.com/all/2024/5/30/queens-man-convicted#google_vignette
Horatio Cornblower
“The jury’s verdict, which came after only two days of deliberations, makes Trump the first president from Queens – or anywhere in the United States, for that matter – to become a felon.”
/chef’s kiss
Horatio Cornblower
What’s the appropriate drink for celebrating today’s verdict? I’m thinking Manhattan. With a burnt orange garnish.
Dunstan
Dark and Stormy
GameTimeDecision
And to prove that I went back and read the rest of the post, here’s a topical Playboy cover!
Horatio Cornblower
I can finally say it without it potentially jinxing things: I thought it was CRAZY that anybody thought a hung jury was a likely outcome of this trial. It’s like watching a football game where they don’t broadcast the score until the final whistle, and one team is clearly *obliterating* the other team, and most of the people that claim to be paying attention to it think that it’s going into overtime, and it’s like, are you guys watching the same game that I’m watching? And then they display the final score and it’s 34-0.
FUCK THAT STUPID FUCKING CONVICTED FELON RAPIST CROOK. FUCK HIM RIGHT INTO THE FUCKING SUN.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
During the interim while we wait for sentencing, I propose we refer to that Thing as..
Mango Unchained.
yeahright
With warm regards to Don T
BeefReeferLives
The point of the granulated sugar, like with the caipiriña, is to allow the drinker to modulate the amount of desired sweetness by stirring. When you get to the bottom and it’s too sweet, you add more liquid ingredients.
Kinda like iced tea at a diner. You gotta constantly play with the ratios and say no to the waitress when she comes by for a fill-up until you are ready.
ballsofsteelandfury
Well there we go. The real answer is always in the comments
Sharkbait
My only note is that they should have used a Tyco brick or some other fake Lego piece for the hair.
And on to June we go.
Hello friends.
T- minus two years four months and change to get to retirement.
It’s not the bright light yet but I think it’s there.
Fucking hell the freeways were unholy this week.
yeahright
After due consideration I am rooting for the teutonic twats.
Horatio Cornblower
Supporters of Panama have to be called Panamaniacs, right?
Doktor Zymm
WCS
It’s kinda insane that this, whatever it is, has lasted this long. I have memories in the early days of dropping everything at work and rushing home to put together a Thursday Night Football preview because there were a bunch of randos that wanted to hang together and I wanted to facilitate that and be a part of it. And somehow it’s still the case today.
scotchnaut
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
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Groundhog day.
2Pack