Your Scattered Thursday Night Open Thread

This one is short and sweet folks-wifey is going under the knife tomorrow morning.

[Wags finger] Nuh Uh:

The Falcons were a wee bit too eager and Cousins was a bit too forthcoming about his wooing and now Atlanta is down a draft pick. No one saw this coming a kilometer away.

The CTE-It Hurts:

Bernie Kosar is going to court because he was forced to place a bet on his Browns and lost his radio gig as a result. Can he get thrown out of court? Perhaps there’s more to this and if there is, please elaborate in the comments.

Chicks Love the…You Know:

His ADoT has been steadily decreasing for 5(?) years now so this year Mahomes vows to throw the ball downfield more this season. I don’t know about you but he was a joy to watch his first go-around as a starter because he always looked at the guy doing that fly pattern. Entertaining stuff.

Gentlemen’s Sweep in Effect:

Is this the game where McDavid gets up off his ass and pots a few? I say the Oilers, urged on by the crowd pull this one out (barely) and then fall two straight afterwards.

See you later.

 

 

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Beerguyrob

Late as usual, but best of luck with everything tomorrow.

Brick Meathook
Sharkbait

This is the first time since 1996 (Colorado Avalanche and Chicago Bulls) that the NBA Finals and the Stanley Cup Final series are both 3-0

herodotus450

And back then we had Jobs, Hope, and Cash, and the best golfer was Black and the best rapper was White forward this to 10 ppl or else your crush will block you on AIM forever

Brick Meathook

I’ve only “tripped” on LSD twice (to use hippie lingo) but both times were memorable.

The first time was when I was in the Navy when were in off-crew (on shore because boomer) and I got assigned to an enlisted BEQ barracks fire-watch at our home port of Naval Station Charleston. I was assigned to this watch out of spite. I did the entire 4 hour watch on a small dose of acid. Once an hour I would walk down each of the long straight hallways of the three-story building, cinder block walls painted an off-white cream color, and fluorescent lights at regular intervals on the ceiling. Offset brown doors on either side, and not another soul in sight. As I walked each hallway the lights made harmonic noises as I passed them.

The other time was when I went to the Coastal Carolina Fair in South Carolina right after I got out of the Navy. My friend Chris and I dropped acid, but we gave all our money and keys to my girlfriend Cyndie (I miss her) and she was completely sober and had no idea we were both tripping. Chris and I both rode the greatest carnival ride ever, The Zipper, and my perception was that we were on it for two hours until we would eventually be shredded, but Cyndie told me we were on it for only two minutes and she thought we got cheated. We later walked through “the midway” of constantly barking carnies shouting “dollar dollar dollar win a prize for the lady” and at one point we walked past a bingo tent where the entire freak show was inside playing bingo. I thought I hallucinated all that but I went back and saw that it was real

blaxabbath

Trying to be a good dad, I take my bot to the hobby store for the first time today. Dudes are helpful and set me up with this van.

Then I spill the glue on the instructions (it is also the first model I have ever done — I’m historically more of a destroyer). Figured there’d just be like a place to download the instructions but guess not. Is there a place people who do this stuff like post this stuff? I tried pornhub so far but no luck there. I’m out of ideas.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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ballsofsteelandfury

Don’t ask Ayo for drink suggestions while building the model.

Mr. Ayo

¡PALO DE HIELO!

Last edited 6 months ago by Mr. Ayo
Brick Meathook

I’m not willing to say that I’m a raging alcoholic, but I ran out of sweet sweet booze so I’m drinking vanilla extract until the DoorDash delivery of cheap vodka gets here.

Doktor Zymm

Out of mouthwash?

Dunstan

I wouldn’t say you’re a raging alcoholic. You seem pretty calm about it.

blaxabbath

He’s drinking vanilla extract because he threw his fist through the pantry wall when he saw the Goldschläger was empty.

Dunstan

THESE EDMONTON OILERS, I CALL THEM AL GORE BECAUSE THEY ARE HAVING THEIR DREAMS CRUSHED BY FLORIDA

Dunstan

THESE EDMONTON OILERS, I STILL CALL THEM AL GORE BECAUSE THEY’RE DEMANDING A RECOUNT

Mr. Ayo

AND JUST LIKE AL GORE THEY CAME UP JUST SHORT

Doktor Zymm

I can’t wait to watch their version of ‘An Inconvenient Truth’!

2Pack

Prayers for your wife Buddy, I trust she will make a quick and full recovery.

Doktor Zymm

I would be very suspicious of any medical practitioner that accepts DFOcoin in lieu of non-imaginary currency unless they got their medical degree at DFO Upstairs Medical School

Senor Weaselo

In other news, you know that full quartet arrangement of Rhapsody in Blue I spent all week on? We got like a page and change through it, so maybe 1/6 of the way.

I could have done so much more this week!

blaxabbath

What would have been a more palatable production?

blaxabbath

Im doing a patent.

It’s gonna be one of those patents that the guy wants to be big and so it always ends up being so it’ll definitely be big, I suspect.

Doktor Zymm

Is it biopiracy? Biopiracy is my favorite patent-related term

blaxabbath

No. It’s lame.

Doktor Zymm

Boo. You should try to patent biopiracy

blaxabbath

I’m gonna do that think where I just get to sell it to Mark Cuban or whatever.

Brick Meathook

“Plastics”

Doktor Zymm

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Senor Weaselo

So the ECF was the real Stanley Cup Final, without the benefit of having won extra hardware. There wasn’t even a President’s Trophy presentation!

In conclusion, pain.

Horatio Cornblower

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Sharkbait

The Rangers would have steamrolled the Oilers.

Dunstan

No, the Rangers would have waited ten years and then signed all the Oilers’ players, if history is any guide.

Sharkbait

I’ll take mid to late career McDavid and Draisaitl please and thank you

Senor Weaselo

I even said I’d change the flair to McJesus and Pals if that happened! It’s a sacrifice I’d be willing to make.

Horatio Cornblower

Apparently the Oilers decided to pay tribute to Dock Ellis and play this game while on acid.

Doktor Zymm

Must be a different sort of acid, or maybe it only works for baseball. I wonder what the best sport to play on acid is? Maybe croquet?

Dunstan

Maybe golf? Balls needs to do a special report on this.

Mr. Ayo

I couldn’t miss playing pool on acid. Ran the table twice in a row.

Horatio Cornblower

Best of luck to Mrs. Scotchnaut tomorrow.

fleshwound_NPG

everybody: everything gotta be about caitlin clark. everything. make her shoot 40 times from 100 feet. huck it. chuck it. caitlin!

indiana fever, tonight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ng52ogUCZqc

Gumbygirl

Dominic Ierace.

Redshirt

.

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fleshwound_NPG

“at least i didnt lose nearly all my armies to some dude on mars with a shotgun”

herodotus450

plus he let some fruity poet from the 1300s just waltz on through his kingdom

Redshirt

This may be the first time excessive force by CPD is being universally celebrated.

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ballsofsteelandfury

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King Hippo

pitch invaders are always attention-seeking, overprivileged white assholes. A good outlet for some use of force.

blaxabbath

Really should be a LONG community service related. You held up the game 3 minutes? We had 20k people waiting on you? You owe us 60,000 mins (1,000 hours) of picking for recyclables / dead hookers) at the dump in private.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, I was already gonna be looking for dead hookers anyway, Your Honor…

blaxabbath

“Clearly the reason my DNA is all over her is because I found her at the dump!”

“I’m a judge, you want to admit to raw dogging a dumpster hooker?”

“If it gets me off the Murder 1.”

Doktor Zymm

Old Bay is a spice blend created for seafood, even though people use it on lots of foods. J.O. spice #2 is a competitor that originated in the same region and is actually used more frequently for steamed crabs as Old Bay is finer grained and doesn’t adhere to the crabs as well as J.O. Both have a similar flavor profile, and neither have ever released all the components of their spice blends.

We do know that both contain celery salt, paprika, ground bay leaves, mustard, black pepper, and red pepper. Other likely ingredients are cloves, allspice, ginger, mace, cardamom, and cinnamon.

ballsofsteelandfury

Why would you want Jack Off spice on anything?

TheRevanchist

Bukkake bunt cakes

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll guarantee there’s a web-site for that.

blaxabbath

Lot of MAGA choads like to spice things up for Quarto de May.

Mr. Ayo

Dok has replaced herself with an AI bot. Genius!

LemonJello

Maybe we’re all AI bots, and Dok is running the simulation that we’re in?

ballsofsteelandfury

AI Anal bot? Yup, that checks out

Doktor Zymm

That would explain why the Cowboys keep doing poorly in the playoffs, but nawt why the Chiefs are doing so well, hmmm, need to adjust a couple parameters

Horatio Cornblower

Look, I’m not saying the Cowboys need to win the Super Bowl, but would it be too much to ask to write Jerry Jones out of this particular algorithim?

Doktor Zymm

Who inherits? I notice the death of Al Davis had….minimalish effect

blaxabbath

Msg

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Old spice is better than old bay

Doktor Zymm

Hope it all goes well! Make sure to bring your phone and record anything funny she says while coming out of the anesthesia because she won’t remember it and it’ll probably be fun to share later

Gumbygirl

Beaming all the positive thoughts to Madame Scotchy!

Redshirt

Grim Reaper: “It’s time for me to take your soul to the Afterlife.”
Wifey: “What a coincidence… I was about to say the same damn thing.”

Doktor Zymm

Tire successfully replaced, now my car is ready to venture forth once again into the scrap metal collection yard that is the California highway system!

In the book I’m reading right now there are living roads left over from the pre-Chromotacian society that move all non-organic debris off of the roads (they absorb organic debris for fuel). I really wish someone would hurry up and invent this technology instead of faffing around with ugly trucks and AI recipes for mustard gas.

LemonJello

Dok running errands, Artist’s Interpretation:

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Horatio Cornblower

Hey, milk’ll spoil if you don’t get it in the fridge with a quickness.

blaxabbath

It goes bad faster than an open bottle of vodka.

Redshirt

Tell your better half your imaginary friends said “Good luck!”

LemonJello

What Redshirt said.

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Horatio Cornblower

Man, wouldn’t;t it be great if her name were Shirley?

TheRevanchist

Streaming the Indiana Fever game now and got the other game on the TV. Life is okay sometimes.

fleshwound_NPG

somebody got the wild idea that perhaps it is a better idea to run your offense through last year’s number 1 overall pick (now with experience) rather than this year’s (without any)

TheRevanchist

Based on this year, they will have a good draft position next year, setting up for a devastating team in a couple of years.

fleshwound_NPG

the honor system version of the process sixers

LemonJello

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blaxabbath

Any highlight jams?

Nut checks in the key?

Good fundamentals?

Game Time Decision

Hope Mrs scotchy thingy goes better than planned

Game Time Decision

Home opener for the Lakers. Welcome to the show.
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LemonJello

Which one is Lebron?

ballsofsteelandfury

Duh, the black one.

LemonJello

Ya’ll know what time it (almost) is!

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Brick Meathook

BFC hates Old Bay seasoning. Ayo hates Achewood.

I don’t know which one of these afflictions is weirder, considering that BFC and Ayo seem otherwise sort of normal, to a degree anyway. It just goes to show that you never can tell.

Mr. Ayo

In my defense, I’ve never had Old Bay seasoning. So I could hate that as well.

Doktor Zymm

If you’ve ever had anything called ‘crab seasoning’ then you’ve had something similar most likely.

Have you never been to Maryland? If not, you are in for a treat, because we can tell you all the great spots to go and all the good foods to get including this tasty treat!
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Brick Meathook

I think Sharkbait bought some Old Bay Vodka in Baltimore

Doktor Zymm

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Gumbygirl

Oooooh, yum!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Baltimore, July 2022

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

And that crab remained smashed yet uneaten

Gumbygirl

Today is the anniversary of the game Dock Ellis pitched on LSD

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yeah right

This whole video is just goddamn delightful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vUhSYLRw14

Gumbygirl

That is great! The Pirates radio announcer you hear was Bob Prince. He was awesome. We have a talking bobblehead of him.

Gumbygirl

Canonsburg Friends
A blog provided for those friends from Canonsburg,Pa to share, think back, indulge in a few memories… As I’ve said before: “Who had it better than us!”…enjoy, Dick Garboski

Friday, August 31, 2007
Buc Broadcaster – Bob Prince -Famous Sayings
Gunnerisms
Bob Prince was a broadcaster for the Bucs from 1948-1975. He was known for his colorful commentary and rapid fire delivery. Because of his quick tongue, he became affectionately known as “The Gunner”.
During Prince’s years with the Bucs, listeners either loved him or hated him, but they were always amused by him. He was a great Pirates fan, and he saw the club through some dark years as well as through a few championships.

On May 3, 1985, after a 10 year abscence, Prince returned to the Pirate broadcast booth for one encore as a Pirate announcer. At 68 years old, he was fighting and losing a battle with cancer, but during his encore broadcast, the magic returned, and the Bucs responded with a nine-run 4th inning on their way to a 16-2 victory over the Dodgers. Prince was only strong enough to announce two of his scheduled three innings, but he received three standing ovations from the crowd.

A month later. Bob Prince lost his battle with cancer. His name was displayed proudly in the Pirates broadcast booth at Three Rivers Stadium.
Bob Prince was elected to the baseball Hall of Fame as a broadcaster in 1986. He will live in our Pirate memories and our personal hall of fame forever.

Prince was known for his unique style of broadcast lingo. A new listener might need an English-to-Prince dictionary to understand his broadcasts. Here is a sampling of Bob Prince sayings and nicknames which we affectionately call “Gunnerisms”. Several members of the Pirates e-mail list sent in their favorite Gunnerisms. Special thanks goes to Father John Hissrich ([email protected]), Gary Davis ([email protected]) and all my other contributing authors. Here is a collection of various contributions: Sayings:
“AN ALABASTER BLAST”
A Baltimore chop base hit that would go higher than normal due to the extraordinarily hard infield at Forbes Field
“ARRIBA”
Prince’s cry to Roberto Clemente to hit one up and over the wall.
“ASPIRIN TABLETS”
A pitcher would be throwing a ball so hard it looked as tiny and as hard to hit as an aspirin tablet. As in, “Veale’s firin’ aspirin tablets out there tonight.”
“ATEM BALLS”
Hard line drives right to an infielder – it was at ’em. “Law has his At’em ball workin’ tonight.”
“BABUSHKA POWER”
Prince developed babushkas that the women in the stands could wear to bring the Pirates luck. It was, in a sense, a later version of the Green Weenie.
“THE BASES ARE F.O.B.” (full of Bucs)
What was needed now, was a bingle, a dying quail, perhaps a bug on the rug…
“A LITTLE BINGLE”
A little hit; a small single; perhaps a bunt single. Just something that would get a Bucco on base.
“THE BLACK MAX”

“A BLOOP AND A BLAST”
A quick way to get two runs through a single (the bloop) and a home run (the blast), as in, “The Buccos are down by one run going to the bottom of the ninth. What we need here is a bloop and a blast.”
“A BUG ON THE RUG”
A basehit that skittered through the gap, particularly on artificial turf.
“BY A GNAT’S EYELASH”
A very small margin indeed, as in, “That ball just missed. It was foul by a gnat’s eyelash.”
“CHICKEN ON THE HILL”
A home run for Willie Stargell, begun by the fact that Stargell owned a chicken restaurant in Pittsburgh’s Hill District and that whenever he homered, the person at the counter would get free chicken. Thus, Prince would say, “We need a homer here. Come on, Willie, spread some Chicken on the Hill.” In one particular game, Prince said that if Stargell hit a home run, everybody in the restaurant would get free chicken. Stargell did hit the home run, everyone got free chicken, and Stargell sent the bill to Prince.
“CLOSE AS FUZZ ON A TICK’S EAR”
a little closer than a gnat’s eyelash.
“DON’T BOO STU, HE’S OVER-DUE”
A cheer to get firstbaseman Dick Stuart out of a slump.
“DON’T KNOCK THE ROCK”
Rocky Nelson, 1b-man alternating with Stuart.
“A DYING QUAIL”
A little bloop, a tweener, or a bingle; a hit that falls in like a shot quail would.
“THE GREEN WEENIE”
A device invented by the Gunner to jinx and perhaps spook opposing players, the green weenie was the size and shape of a hot dog. When pointed at the opponents and shaken, it rattled and supposedly put a jinx on them.
“HE COULDN’T HIT THAT WITH A BED SLAT”
This is what the Gunner would say when a batter chased a pitch way outside. Take one of the slats out from under a full sized bed and notice how much longer it is than a bat, and you get an idea that the batter was definitely chasing.
HE LIT UP THE LIGHTS ON BROADWAY”
in response to a called 3rd strike.
“HIDDEN VIGORISH”
Similar to the law of averages, it was the force which dictated that a player who was in a slump was due for a big hit, as in, “Stargell is Oh for his last eight, so with hidden vigorish he should get a big hit here.”
“HOOVER”
A double play by which the Bucs would clean up the basepaths. When someone complained that Prince was giving free advertising to a particular brand of vacuum cleaner, he tried to invent a story about President Herbert Hoover’s cleaning up corruption in Washington.
“HOW SWEET IT IS”
After suffering through some terrible Bucco teams in the early- 1950’s, Prince got to enjoy the taste of victory in 1960 and throughout the early-1970’s with the Battlin’ Bucs. The taste of a championship, a mid-season victory, or a home run that would put the Bucs ahead would draw out “How sweet it is”.
“KISS IT GOOD-BYE”
The most famous of Prince’s sayings; this was his well-known home run call.
“MARY EDGERLEY”
No one knew exactly who she was (or whether she was related to Jimmy Durante’s Mrs. Calabash), but Prince would end each broadcast by saying, “Good night, Mary Edgerley, wherever you are.”
“A #8 CAN OF GOLDEN BANTAM”
A can of corn; refers to an easy fly ball. Immortalized in 1970 when Matty Alou dropped a “can of corn” against the Cubs, and the Bucs had to wait another day to clinch their first pennent in 10 years.
“RADIO BALL”
“Koufax just threw Stuart his radio ball. He could hear it, but he couldn’t see it.” “Low hummin’ riser.” (Similar to a radio ball)
“RUG CUTTIN’ TIME”
“It’s rug cuttin’ time.” More commonly known as “crunch time.” “For all the money, marbles, and chalk.” Deciding moment. Crunch time.
“RUNNIN’ THROUGH THE RAIN DROPS”
When a pitcher gives up a lot of hits but doesn’t give up serious runs. Escapes without serious damage being done.
“SNAKE BIT”
Can’t get a break. The Bucs are snake bit tonight.
“SOUP COOLERS”
a high pitch was up around a sluggers mouth, or lips, or “soup coolers”. Prince often said Stargell was looking for a pitch up around his “soup coolers”.
“TWEENER”
A ball that got “between” the outfielders; similar to a “bug on a rug”, but it could occur on grass or as a “bloop” hit that fell in between fielders; hopefully, followed by a Bucco “blast”.
“WE HAD ‘EM ALL THE WAY”
Spoken after a close win by the Pirates, it indicated that we should have known all along that the Pirates would win. It was perhaps the father of Lanny Frattare’s “No doubt about it.”

Nicknames:
Bob “Beetles” Bailey
Nellie Briles: “the Rainmaker”
Smokey Burgess : “Shake, rattle, and roll.”
Donn “Clink” Clendenon
Gene “Little Angry” Clines
Elroy Face: The Baron of the Bullpen
Dick Groat: (no.24) was sometimes called “Double-Dozen”
Harvey Haddix: “Kitten”
Don Hoak: “the Tiger”
Ralph Kiner: from Alhambra CA, was The Alhambra Kid, or the Alhambra Hammer.
Ed “Spanky” Kirkpatrick
Vern Law: “the Deacon”
Gene Michael: was “the Stick.”
Manny Sanguillen: was the “Road Runner”, long before Ralph Garr stole the nickname.
Dick “Ducky” Schofield: not to be confused with his son Dickie who was also a ML player.
Willie Stargell: was Willie La Starge or Wilver Dornell (his given name).
Bob Skinner: was “Doggie”
Bill Virdon: was “The Quail”
Jim “Possum” Woods: one of Prince’s fellow broadcasters.
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Mr. Ayo

They don’t make em like they used to

King Hippo

Best of luck to Mrs. Scotchy, assuming this is a surgeon’s knife we are talking about (with Scotchy and knives, one NEVAR knows smh).

Doktor Zymm

I suppose it’s possible that Scotchy is lending Very Sharp Knifey to the surgeon

Gumbygirl
fleshwound_NPG