As y’all know, Hippo procarstinates. So, I waited until I turned the TV on for Krauts v. Kilts, before checking channel listings for today’s thread. All I had read to date was that Fox was covering both summer Euros, so I assumed Fox or FS1. Fine. The panel coverage would be terrible, but I can deal.
But no. It gets shittier. Roughly 30% of the games look to be “exclusively streaming” on fubo. Go eat all the diseased rhinocerous dicks, Fox. I can’t even find a TV-based Espanol feed for the morning fixture.
As such, we can talk abiut the matches here, but I’m too pissed off to preview them, even in the most half-assed manner. Talk amongst yourselves, I guess I’ll stream Fallout while I play Footy Manager. GUH.
ALBANIA!
Well, it was fun while it lasted
TSN blurb says, “Canada Opens Against Argentina”.
I’m thinking the word “Wide” is missing
That was a hell of a save. Unfortunate about the rebound.
Ah, but there’s VAR to suck all the fun out of everything.
Found a funny:
💻
Did one of the Spanish players collapse just now?
Anti-vaxxers get all tingly and start tweeting
The British feed we are getting on TSN is five seconds ahead of the US feed. The commentators are better too.
Welp, Croatia is destined not to score at all after that madness.
Oh what a SAVE!
That was Rockinggggg!
That would have made it 4-0!
I want to see Modric score
That would be Rocking!
I realize the my cat actually has the soul of a hobbit. She gets first breakfast as soon as I get out of bed, second breakfast while we’re walking the dog, and she has just now stopped by demanding elevensies.
Grandson Bronco is exactly the same way.
This Croatian team, I call them Mesoamerica because these Spaniards are just raping and pillaging them right now!
I am now under 2 years from retirement. More like 20 months since I’ll burn up a bunch of accrued leave on the way out. So I think I will actually start using this.
Congrats!
Each day I give a few less shits…
Well done. I got my pension statement the other day & weeped at the five years I have left.
Hang in there. They start going by very quickly as you get closer.
From your lips to BLEERGH’s ears.
Counting down with you.
Oh shit!
Spain with 2 quick goals!
That’s Rockinggggg!
And the third one was the most rocking of all.
Found a funny:
by law, an alligator has to release his grip on you if you tell him you’ll see him later
Is there a similar principle for telling a crocodile you’ll see him in a while?
And of course if you happen to be a crocodile there is a two week grace period before he can come within your vicinity again.
Croatia vs Spain seems Rockingggg! ⚽️
I can at least watch the game, on my ACTUAL TEEVEE, no less. That is indeed a ROCKING start!
Them Croats are going to be up against a wall. Too soon?
MOAR liek TOO LATE imogodbless – Serb. I. A.
Modric walked out to the middle of the field without the use of a cane. Good for him.
/I do find it hilarious that 34+ yr-old players are judged as being washed.
Ustase! Generalissimo Franco!! WHO YA GOT???
¡Vamos España!
God I want a shame pizza and a milkshake
Do it.
I might #ShamePizza between matches. It really DO sound good.
It’s only 10 am here. Not a lot of pizza shops open.
Maybe at HT?
How would you order your ideal shame pizza?
Capricciosa
Classic = ham, mushroom, artichoke and pepperoni
Ham is a completely under utilized pizza topping in the US.
Either just pepperoni, or pepperoni, feta, hot peppers.
Is that code for an Irn Bru and a deep fried Mars bar?
Except the first line of the title is “All The Laundry” and the second line is “In The Entire House” (third line remains unchanged) and it stars the Dr. Mrs. Deadly, Esq.
Are all the vacuums in the shop for their monthly maintenance checks?
Oh, she’ll get to that soon enough.
“Let me get this straight. You’re complaining that your wife does too much housework?” — Al Bundy
It’s more about priorities. Our surfaces are pretty clean but they are absolutely *covered* with clutter. But instead of putting these things away, she decides that mopping the floors for the third time in four days is more important.
That and setting up booby traps.
Is futbol really popular enough in the US now that it’s a good move to require a paid subscription?
Very much NOT. There are things the NFL can get away with (like the streaming payday thing) that MLB and now European Euros footy are making dreadful mistakes trying to replicate same.
Yeah not seeing how that’s going to open new markets for them.
You’ll be asking this same question about The Tour de France in less than five years.
Albania vying for the vaunted “Oh! We Did Invite You But Didn’t Think You’d Come” trophy.
In 2016 I went to Albania’s 1st game in the tourny. What a party. Was amazing.
I was pleasantly surprised by the number and quality when I searched “hot Albanian women football fans”
They also have a great national anthem:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-F_tT-q8EF0
Great hustle, much respect Bro.
Our male bond of pervert-dom stretches across the globe, fo sho!
Spanning the globe for the finest in…
Everyone in this thread has just RUINED my preview which posts in an hour.
Turns out my Fubos only work on cellphone. In other devices my account can’t be renewed (WTF!). Customer service lady was helpful and sympathetic, but no solution. Referred me to an account lieutenant, who will send me an email.
Ghost of Bufffstreams: Sucker! 😂
Can’t you cast from the app to a smart screen?
I use an android emulator on a dumb screen which also works
HOLY SHIT THEY HAVE AN ATTILA THE HUN!
/Wakes up from Scotland induced drunken stupor.
How the hell we doin boys?
I was wondering where the hell you’d been!
I was at the Ship and Anchor pub yesterday if you must know. Then I came home and drank two bottles of wine to myself .
I honestly thought you were in Germany for the game
This whole having a kid thing has dented my futbol travel.
I reckoned the liquor was in control, Mr. Litre
The worst part was how mad and determined to get a 5th Germany was, after conceding. Conceding via OG, pretty sure y’all STILL never had a shot on target (despite the lack of clean sheet).
Beat the Swiss, all will be forgotten.
I’ve been to that place!
I mean, the Ship and Anchor.
Ok, I’ve also been to the “drank two bottles of wine to myself” place.
Doesn’t seem like a place you’d remember going, seems more like a “how did both of these bottles of wine get empty?” situation.
I must have been high when I tipped this game to end in a tie.
What was I thinking?
heh, looks like the back door could open for ya PHRASING
.. How can Spam send me an invitation to the footy tipping thing… when I no longer have an ESPN account?!
Also Ohaimark(et al)
How goes tricks, Imaginary Tank-Ownin’ Pal?
Since I’m incorrectly exacerbated to decipher^…
Slainte!
The games are apparently available on something called “Vix”?
I went to that site today, it’s the Spanish feed (would be fine) but also apparently you need to sign up for “Premium” to see the Euros
… or you can sail the seven seas (of rhye) 😉
Swiss looking champions-like, Hungs annoyed and tired.
MOAR LIEK FlaccidGary today amirite???
I see the xG is 1.26 to 0.09. Gary not looking so Hung right now smh
I assume Fox will do this nonsense with Los Euros Sudamericano as well. But I was planning to watch TUDN for that, mostly.
(of course, the Spanish feed is ViX paywalled for the European Euros, maybe it will be again)
This doesn’t seem too super AIDS-risky:
(EDIT – FUCK OFF, gamer kids)
GODDAMN IT, it’s a fucking simulation.
Perhaps just a touch of chlamydia. (it’ll just make you stronger)
I spent the last week calling Fubo and interacting with an automated chat to try and restart my subscription. (It carries NFL Sunday Ticket in PR OK? Ok.) I tried all that from my new and very first own work office, thankyouverymoosh. God I missed on-site time theft.
Tried again today, from the continental US. No calls or chats, just go to the app and it worked. Oh Fubo… What am I gonna do with you /resigned sigh
I meant Red Zone. Sunday Ticket I wish!
OK Hippo. I will see your attractive Albania lady… and raise you an Italian one…
She’s grillin out back as we speak…
Still owes me a back rub before the game tonight, televised free over here, like all the rest, not to rub it in or anything.
(some morning DonT crack)
Uruguay Copa America 2024 squad guide: Buckle up as Bielsaball returns to the big stage
Felipe Cardenas
Jun 15, 2024
3
They have a joint-record 15 Copa America titles to their name and Marcelo Bielsa at the helm. There’s more than one reason why Uruguay are expected to go all the way in the United States this summer…
The manager
There are only a few managers at Copa America 2024 that need no introduction.
Marcelo Bielsa is someone who is universally known for his mercurial personality and stubborn tactical philosophy. The 68-year-old, who revolutionized Chile’s national team and became a hero to Leeds United supporters, now holds the keys to one of South America’s most promising squads.
GO DEEPER
Bielsaball is alive and well – Leeds fans are now all Uruguay, aren’t they?
When Bielsa accepted the Uruguay job just over a year ago, he did so knowing that the small country (population: 3.4million; less than Los Angeles) that borders his homeland of Argentina could be on the brink of newfound glory.
But nothing comes easy in South American football.
Uruguay suffered through some growing pains at the start of Bielsa’s tenure but back-to-back wins over Brazil and Argentina in World Cup qualifying at the end of last year solidified the belief that he is the right man for this job.
The household name you haven’t heard of yet
Uruguay are replete with experienced players but they’re not a star-studded team. Of course, names such as Federico Valverde, Luis Suarez and Darwin Nunez stand out for obvious reasons. Bielsa, though, will rely heavily on playmaker Nicolas de la Cruz.
The 27-year-old is a recognizable figure for followers of South American club football. De la Cruz won 10 trophies from 2017-23 with River Plate in Argentina, becoming a dependable attacking piece during coach Marcelo Gallardo’s tenure at the Buenos Aires club. De la Cruz can play behind the strikers or as a right winger. He’s intelligent on the ball, which has made him a versatile player in the attacking third.
Now with Brazilian side Flamengo, De la Cruz is an established footballer with a championship pedigree. He will be one of Bielsa’s go-to players at this Copa America.
Strengths
This small but talent-rich nation has always produced hard-working players. Add legends such as Suarez, who received a surprise Copa call-up at 37 years old after not being involved in their March friendlies or the two pre-tournament warm-up games, and Edinson Cavani, who announced his retirement from international football last month at the same age, and it’s clear how deep Uruguay’s talent goes, despite the country’s limited resources.
One of Uruguay’s main strengths is their winning mentality, with no game lost until the final whistle. Every challenge is a do-or-die situation.
How to follow Euro 2024 and Copa America on The Athletic…
Uruguay have stumbled in major tournaments, though — most recently at the 2022 World Cup, in which Uruguay, then led by manager Diego Alonso, failed to advance from the group stage, winning one of their three matches. Under Bielsa, Uruguay have introduced younger, more athletic players to the senior national team.
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Uruguay are pressing higher up the pitch but with speedy wingers such as Facundo Pellistri and Brian Rodriguez, plus the direct running of Nunez, can also counter effectively if forced to play in a low block. And as you may suspect, they tend to defend their penalty area very well, with their back line led by Barcelona defender Ronald Araujo.
One more thing: watch out for Uruguay on attacking set pieces.
Weaknesses
Bielsa’s stubborn tactics do tend to leave Uruguay in vulnerable situations. They can get stretched and against teams that dominate possession, Uruguay can become one-dimensional. Bielsa also requires his defenders to play out of pressure, which provides triggers for the opposing team’s own pressing tactics.
Other than that, Uruguay are a very sound team. However, they have begun a new era in between the posts. Sergio Rochet has replaced long-time goalkeeper Fernando Muslera. The 31-year-old Rochet, who plays for Brazilian side Internacional, is talented and he did unseat Muslera for the No 1 job at the 2022 World Cup.
Muslera was a veteran of four World Cup tournaments. He also lifted a Copa America in 2011, keeping a clean sheet in Uruguay’s 3-0 win against Paraguay in the final.
Rochet has big shoes to fill.
The thing you didn’t know
From 2006 to 2023, Uruguay’s kits were designed by Puma. The national team’s classic light blue shirts and black shorts are an iconic look in world football. Puma is also a well-recognized brand in the football world. They’ve designed some memorable looks over the years but, in 2022, Puma’s World Cup kits were among the worst at the tournament. An oversized team badge was panned by fans and pundits alike.
In April, Uruguay’s FA signed with Nike — but the deal isn’t permanent. Uruguay will wear Nike kits at this Copa America. but after the tournament, their short-term contract with the U.S.-based company will end.
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An open bid process will take place to determine the kit-maker that will sponsor Uruguay through the 2026 World Cup. Nike could win that bid, but if they don’t, Uruguay’s 2024 Copa America kits will become an interesting collector’s item.
Expectations back home
When Bielsa was hired, the Uruguayan press was nearly unanimously in favor of the decision. Some sectors of the press questioned Bielsa’s methods, and the Argentinian’s nationality was a problem for others. But, generally speaking, Uruguayans felt that Bielsa’s appointment confirmed that they were a heavyweight in global football.
Uruguay are expected to reach the final of this Copa America. They should expect nothing less based on their talent, their footballing culture and the man in charge on the touchline.
In March, Bielsa told reporters he had not had sufficient time to fully install his ideas. He then credited his players for executing his tactics in spite of a congested calendar. “The Uruguayan footballer has unconditional support for their national team, which leads to them prioritizing their country over everything else,” said Bielsa.
And before a pre-Copa America friendly against Mexico on June 5, Bielsa shuttered the idea that Uruguay were favorites to win the competition. “Teams express themselves based on the quality of their players,” Bielsa said. “National-team coaches are testimonial figures who have little influence, both in the good and the bad.”
One should expect nothing less from Bielsa. But if that commitment to the cause can align itself with his ideas, Uruguay may very well be the story of the 2024 Copa America.
Uruguay’s Copa America squad
Goalkeepers: Sergio Rochet (Internacional), Santiago Mele (Atletico Junior), Franco Israel (Sporting Lisbon)
Defenders: Ronald Araujo (Barcelona), Jose Maria Gimenez (Atletico Madrid), Nicolas Marichal (Dinamo Moscow), Matias Vina (Flamengo), Lucas Olaza (Krasnodar), Mathias Olivera (Napoli), Sebastian Caceres (Club America), Guillermo Varela (Flamengo), Nahitan Nandez (Cagliari)
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Midfielders: Manuel Ugarte (Paris Saint-Germain), Rodrigo Bentancur (Tottenham Hotspur), Federico Valverde (Real Madrid), Emiliano Martinez (Midtjylland), Nicolas de la Cruz (Flamengo), Giorgian de Arrascaeta (Flamengo)
Forwards: Luis Suarez (Inter Miami), Darwin Nunez (Liverpool), Agustin Canobbio (Athletico Paranaense), Brian Rodriguez (Club America), Brian Ocampo (Cadiz), Facundo Pellistri (Granada, on loan from Manchester United), Maximiliano Araujo (Toluca), Cristian Olivera (LAFC).
(Top image: Rodrigo Valle, Ernesto Ryan, Getty Images; design: John Bradford)
Very, very good. Hippo truly is the Prometheus of paywalls.