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Sexy Friday – 20240614

Mr. Ayo

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TGIF! Hope everyone is enjoying sweeps week on the ice and hardwood. But this is actually a great outcome because we can now focus on the Euros and Copa America for some titillating 0-0, or even more exciting 1-1 ties. I kid, i kid. That won’t happen until the knockout rounds.

Survival – Personal Edition

After all these years, I finally found myself a primary care doctor and even visited him this week. To quote my doctor, “You liver function labs are elevated showing an injury pattern.” Duh. But, that’s not what we’re here to talk about. Instead, it’s my blood pressure that I’m requires a prescription so that I don’t have a heart attack. Well, until that medication and my lifestyle changes take effect, I have to be wary of dealing with a heart attack. So, here’s how to survive one.

  • Research heart attack symptoms. Treating a heart attack is about timing. The sooner it can be addressed, the better off you’ll be.
  • Have aspirin on hand. Make sure the safety caps aren’t secured unless you have children around. Due to your scrupulous research, you are now certain you’re having an episode. Take one 325mg aspirin tablet or 4 baby aspirin tablets depending on what’s available. And by take, I mean chew, not swallow. This will allow your body to absorb the aspirin quicker. This won’t stop the heart attack, but it will help prevent additional clotting in your blood vessels.
  • Let anyone and everyone around you know your condition. Have them contact 911 or do it yourself if possible.
  • Lower your heart rate. Do this by ceasing all movement. Lie down on your back and count out each second. Tick, pause, tick, pause, tick, etc.
  • Elevate your legs so all that blood can pool closer to your heart where it’s needed. If a working oxygen mask is available, use it.
  • If you’re feeling dizzy or about to faint, you can perform a type of self CPR by coughing. Breath in through your nose for three (3) seconds, then force cough. This will keep you awake until help arrives.

And that’s it. You’re now still alive and survived a heart attack. Although you should really do all you can to avert one in the first place.

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Brick Meathook

I didn’t post this.

1
Brick Meathook

Oh yeah the Jack Nicklaus one I did. I have a new MacBook and everything is screwy.

1
Brick Meathook

Ashburn, VA

I know I posted this two years ago (maybe two days ago) Doesn’t matter.

https://ibb.co/Qk7nDQt

1
Brick Meathook

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ballsofsteelandfury

Montréal ?

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Brick Meathook

Yes. Lionel-Groulx Station, lower level.

1
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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BugEyedBoo

One for Brick and Ayo:

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Brick Meathook

I know exactly where your avatar comes from.

1
Brick Meathook

Also today.

Manhattan Beach, California.

https://ibb.co/0jv0MbK

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Brick Meathook

I’m slightly off-center on it. Lack of attention to detail.

1
Doktor Zymm

If you lost all feeling in you elbows, would you even notice?

1
blaxabbath

Yes.

But I’m pretty at-peace.

1
2Pack

The way mine have a habit of finding any sharp corner near by, I think so.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Western vs Freo live and underway if anyone is interested….

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So I tried making the cocktail of the week using blue curacao instead of orange curacao, and it came out Celtic green. That should have been my first clue…

1
Doktor Zymm

Was it as off-kilter as the way we pronounce ‘Celtics’ given that Irish doesn’t have a soft c sound?

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It was a disaster.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I absolutely hate pouring drinks down the drain but I’m going to have to do it here.

1
Doktor Zymm

oof

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I had an old fashioned and now all is right again with the world.

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blaxabbath

My wife once suggested it’d be funny if John Rambo hadn’t even actually gone to war. He was just a dude who bought some gear at a military surplus store, got hassled, and still took out the entire Oregon National Guard.

I can’t pinpoint how to converse on the idea but, at It’s roots, it does kind of ring as funny.

11
2Pack

That type is out there.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean that’s kinda the plot of Tucker & Dale vs. Evil but instead of the Oregon National Guard it’s stupid sexy teenagers.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Walter?

2
2Pack

I like the second lady tonight. If I’m going to have a heart attack my choice for the place, would be with her on top.
Sensational hustle Ayo, Marika and I are still celebrating the Army birthday.

170849372-e2a010a3-56d5-4ff5-ad3a-7d21611c6664.jpg
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King Hippo

Speaking of sexy, how many dates y’all reckon the social contract requires before a German gentleman caller asks a lady if he can watch her poop?

3
SonOfSpam

ZWEI

3
BugEyedBoo

FUNF because it sounds dirtier.

2
Brick Meathook

I’m thinking they settle that issue up front before he ever takes her out for their first dinner date. She’s thinking about it too, and has pride in her work, just like her mother..

1
ballsofsteelandfury

It dictates where and what they eat.

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blaxabbath

Women want to be equals.

Shit the trough with everyone else on the date.

1
TheRevanchist

If the game is pretty much over (it is), then might as well try everything you ever wanted to do on a court. Mid court jumper? Go for it!

1
SonOfSpam

It’s too bad that I couldn’t give less of a fuck who wins the golf thing this weekend, but all of them can fuck right off. Except Lee Trevino. He got hit by lightning.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I don’t really follow golf, but Lowratio is really rooting for Dorf.

I don’t have the heart to tell him.

2
SonOfSpam

No, no…let him have this. He’s done so much for us all you.

2
blaxabbath

My brother saw Ricky Fowler at Pinehurst a couple weeks back. It was at the like Pinehurst Brewery. The story is good because my bro (big kid like 6’4″ 275lbs) starts it with how this hot chick gets out a car and he doesn’t realize for a min that Ricky’s Boy is giving my bro a hard stink eye because he’s just dialed in on Ricky’s wife.

JJ Watt was on his flight home with his soccer wife. My brother says Watt is just HUGE and is clearly done with NFL and that impressively big….

3
Doktor Zymm

Can totes believe it in re: Volts*Amps

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SonOfSpam

Yeah, Watt seems like a massive dude. Just genetically freakish.

1
blaxabbath

The triceps on the armrest was the thing that could not look right for the entire flight, was the comment.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS NBA FINALS GAME I CALL IT WHACKING DAY BECAUSE THE IRISH ARE TAKING MANY A LUMP.

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SonOfSpam

moar like Losston

2
Dunstan

NO FANS HAVE EVAH SUFFAHED LIKE WE HAVE!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The most irritating part is the overreactions, as though the series is decided by aggregate points now.

0
blaxabbath

Sounds like more fake election bullshit.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Based on the commentary you’d think Dallas is going to start Game 5 with a twenty point cushion.

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blaxabbath

You, me, and 51% of America, Nerds.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Not a good day for whiskey/whisky drinkers…

2
Horatio Cornblower

It’s always a good day for whiskey, Sir.

3
rockingdog

Found a funny:

EVIL MAGIC HAT: put me on

ME: no, not interested

EVIL MAGIC HAT: if you put me on we can teach your dog to play drums so you can start your band

ME: fuck alright

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Doktor Zymm

Evil Magic Hat knows what’s up

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Horatio Cornblower

We’re naming the band Evil Magic Hat, that’s for sure.

3
SonOfSpam

FOOK OFF YA CUNT

-random Scotsman, upset at the footy, trying his damnedest to finish in the sheep du jour

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SonOfSpam

So this was supposed to be a reply to your other comment about whiskey.

Sourry and whatnot.

2
Dunstan

Well, I was not expecting to hear your origin story tonight, but I did always suspect it involved an evil magic hat.

7
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Whatever band this gorilla is in are the Morris Day and the Time to you and your dog’s Prince and the New Power Generation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnzFRV1LwIo

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Doktor Zymm

I will never cease to find Rick Astley’s voice incongruous with his appearance and dancing skills
https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ

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Brick Meathook

SW part of LAX today. This is near where I live (and where Yeah Right used to live).

This is an an Atlas Air first generation Boeing 747-100 freighter, the original “Queen of the Skies” and I think the best looking aircraft ever. The the upper deck hump is all curves. The nose on this aircraft lifts up and exposes the entire circumference of the cargo bay:

https://ibb.co/4Kh2LQw

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Brick Meathook

Also today, this time at the original Mines Field SE (ca. 1920s) quadrant of the property.

That’s an Emirates Airbus A-380 idling there waiting for tower permission to go to the “hold short line” on LAX Runway 25L for takeoff on what may likely be a 10+ hour flight.

https://ibb.co/t42F7wG

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Doktor Zymm

I’ve been on that flight, about 16 hrs. Top shelf food and booze, and amazing sleep, then a shower and another meal. Still have the PJs and didn’t manage to collect all the amenity kits, but gifted the dupes. Haven’t been able to check out the new Emirates F, but it’s not on the A380 and doesn’t have the showers.

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Brick Meathook

You are The Flying Duchess

2
ballsofsteelandfury

25 L or 24 L?

Those large international planes usually leave from the North/Brick side. Plus, I don’t think you can get that close from 25 L to get that shot unless you were inside LAX.

1
Brick Meathook

A-380s can take off and land using both the north and south fields. The choice is usually which is closer to their gate (which is almost Bradley International). Also, I took this photo today just next to the original 1920s Mines Field terminal building which is still standing, and is still a public street. I am an LAX scholar.

Hey Balls we need a DFOCON-LA!

1
ballsofsteelandfury

I’m down!

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Doktor Zymm

I’ll fly down for that!

2
ballsofsteelandfury

I forgot about Douglas St.!

1
Doktor Zymm

TBIT gate 150 today, which is almost in the middle but very slightly south. Taxi time of 46 minutes, so time for 2 glasses of champagne at least.

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ballsofsteelandfury

46 minutes?!? That’s pretty insane for LA.

DFW? Sure
ORD? Makes sense
LAX? That’s some fucked up shit right there.

1
Doktor Zymm

Via Flightradar def left from 25L
Flight history for Emirates flight EK216 (flightradar24.com)

2
King Hippo

“airplanes” really r just simulations conjured up by teh Deep State obvs

2
Brick Meathook

Hippo, you and I need to meet up again and sit in comfortable recliner chairs in front of a big-screen HDTV set and consume large amounts of our own legally prescribed opiates together in a safe place. Not lethal doses (nobody wants that) but we’ll also have abundant stool softeners and prune juice at hand, and nutritious snacks. A speed-dial connection to WCS is probably a good idea. I’ll bring some pretty good movies but I’m not averse to watching some college hoops.

2
blaxabbath

I want *that*

0
King Hippo

Was “Fallout” a fun video game? I can’t decide if I like the TV series or not. But I guess I will keep going, anything to stop contemplation of this shitheap we call life.

0
Doktor Zymm

Did nawt know they made a TV series. The game was, in fact, very fun.

0
King Hippo

Amazon Prime, home of Thursday Night FITBAW!!!

0
ArmedandHammered

Tis on Amazon.

0
SonOfSpam

Fallout video games up to Vegas were very good. 76 is terrible.

Only saw the first episode, keep meaning to get back to it. But as I type, Mrs is watching Birdgerton, so it ain’t happenin tonight.

0
Doktor Zymm

I’m actually a bit confused as to what the appeal of video game TV shows is. The great thing about video games for me is that the interaction keeps me engaged. The story is awesome, and if there are great reasons to pause and listen to or watch something then I will, but I’ve never thought “gee, I wish I could just watch this without doing anything”

1
SonOfSpam

Agree in general, but The Last of Us on HBO was really good.

Definitely have to depart from the story to make it worthwhile.

1
Horatio Cornblower

The Last of Us needed a lot less plot development and a lot more blowing mushroom people away.

That may have been my most important use of the word ‘away’ ever.

1
SonOfSpam

“Yeah, blowing mushroom people is awful”

-Melania

5
BugEyedBoo

A lot of folks don’t play video games. Some games’ plots are good enough to be shows.

0
BugEyedBoo

“Is” more than “Was”. Have some friends that love it, but I get about 20 hours or so into Fallout 3 or Fallout 4 and I get bored. Same thing happens to me with Skyrim and Starfield. Word on the street is Fallout: New Vegas is the best.

0
rockingdog

Jackson Merrill with the HR!
That’s Rocking!
Now the score is 2-1 ⚾️

Mets still leading tho….
Go Padres!

0
Brick Meathook

I posted this in the previous Request Line, but it might have gotten lost so I’ll repost it again here. BeefReeferLives (who I didn’t know was a Yinzer) answered quite nicely but I know there are more Yinzers out there. BTW I think Pittsburgh is a pretty cool place.

Here’s my earlier post:

Not a Request Line draft but here’s a Pittsburgh-centric exchange I had about food on social website. The subject was “chipped ham”

ME: “Chipped ham? Never heard of it. Creamed chipped beef on toast? If you’ve ever served in the US military you know what that’s called: SOS ($hit on a shingle). Although in the US Navy (my service) it was known as ‘creamed foreskins.’”

YINZER #1: “chip chopped, or “chipped” ham is a Pittsburgh PA thing. Yinzers stand up. 152 412”

YINZER #2: ” yinz get chipped ham sandwiches from Isalys?”

DFO Yinzers (you know who you are) please chime in.

So other Yinzers please speak up!

1
Brick Meathook

This is a screen shot from a link BeefReeferLives posted:

https://ibb.co/4VtvHQX

1
ballsofsteelandfury

I think you need to call 911 to get an answer

1
Brick Meathook

I did. Here’s the transcript:

ME: Hello, 9-1-1?
911: What is the nature of your emergency?
ME: It’s not an emergency at all. May I speak to WCS?
911: The Omaha WCS or the Pittsburgh WCS?
ME: Pittsburgh, please.
911: Hold on.
(various clicking noises)
911: What is the nature of your emergency?
ME: WCS? It’s me, Brick!
911: Hi Brick! Are you injured?
ME: No. I’m fine.
911: Good to hear. What’s up?
ME: I want to ask you about shaved ham sandwiches.
911: Okay, but this is probably not the best venue for this discussion.
ME: Yeah probably not. I’ll talk to you later.
911: Later, man!

3
ballsofsteelandfury

Just put fries on it!

1
BugEyedBoo

Wife grew up in Morgantown, knows about chipped ham. She turned me on to pepperoni rolls, I turned her on to cole slaw on a barbecue sandwich.

2
Doktor Zymm

Great thing about cole slaw, even though it’s soaked in mayo, it’s cabbage and thus healthy fiber or some other sort of healthy

2
rockingdog

Found a funny:

Everyone is fighting a battle you can’t see, except me, my battle is very obviously kicking my ass

3
King Hippo

Wait, Ayo. Are you hinting that you’s a fat fuck just like Hippo???

/though I am taking my BP meds for migraines already, am basically a walking corpse now

0
King Hippo

/also, you batted your best hitters all in the Top 4, how very SABR-metric of you

0
Mr. Ayo

Gotta maximize those ABs!

0
Mr. Ayo

Of all the things my doctor lectured me on, my weight was low enough to not be mentioned. But, yes.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

When I was in high school, I would have probably committed four felonies for #10. Totally my type back then…

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Back in high school I would have committed those felonies just to give any of those ladies the time day*
*using my calculator watch

4
King Hippo

oh man, that TOTES gets the ladies moist amirite???

2
Doktor Zymm

The early models were nowhere near as waterproof as they claimed, definitely killed a couple in the Atlantic

2
Mr. Ayo

I’d commit 3 today

2
Horatio Cornblower

In high school I’d be wondering if #8 liked Dungeons & Dragons.

I do not have to tell you that she would not.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a full bodied red right there on pic #6…

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Alcohol won’t make a heart attack worse, will it? Because I’m thinking I should keep an airplane-size bottle of bourbon next to the aspirin, just in case it doesn’t work and I’m truly done for. I’d hate for the last thing I taste on this earth to be some nasty bitter chewed-up aspirin.

4
Doktor Zymm

I was looking at restaurants and one of them had the blurb “Fillipino fare, beer & wine in chili dogs” which I though sounded really awesome until I realized it said “chill digs”. So no innovative chili dogs that are somehow filled with beer and lumpia 🙁

1
Doktor Zymm

I’m pretty sure I saw a guy have a severe heart attack at a cafe in Berlin. The staff had some training and CPR equipment and such and the ambulance was there very quickly. They whisked him away and even let his wife ride in the ambulance with him. I did NOT finish my lunch.

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was about to make a joke about how it seems unlikely the restaurant’s food is the reason that he had a heart attack, but then I remembered that restaurants in what used to be East Germany are only allowed to serve one item and one item only (they call it “sturgfustessen”) and the particular restaurant Dok is referring to only serves Good Morning Burgers.

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4
WCS

That’s nothing but a load of rich, creamery butter.

3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Salted or un-salted?
-yr

2
Redshirt

Sexy Friday Appropriate?

IMG_3510.jpeg
9
WCS

Have them contact 911 or do it yourself if possible.

Leave me out of this…

9
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Why do I need to put one of the paddles on my junk?
-confused caller asking WCS how to use the defib thingy

3
Horatio Cornblower

WCS: “This pizza isn’t gonna eat itself.”

911 Caller: “Hello? I have a sharp pain in my chest; it’s going down my left a…”

WCS: ‘click’. “Christ. No one listens anymore.”

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