Euros Euros Everywhere Saturday

Are y’all enjoying the concurrence of TWO Euros in the same June/July?  Hippo sure enough is, even if (as usual) the teams I would like to do well are mostly…uh, not.

But Spain looks really good and fun, plus my prediction of the Krauts faceplanting….YEESH.  They showed up as the hyper-efficient steamroller their nation-mates prefer.

On the other hand, Gareth Southgate’s Inglen…are as tightly clenched as we’ve come to schadenfreudedly love.  FUCK OFF, I know that’s not a real word.

Anyway, we get three from Europe (including the last non-televised morning tilt), then two from the Sudamericano side of the festivities, once I’ve turned you over to Balls (PHRASING).

You won’t get to see Jimmy Carter’s home state on teevee, so I am reduced to Romania for the banner pic.  Except I don’t think these ladies ARE Romanian, but fuck it – they came up during my search and it suits both my taste and laziness.  They (Romania, not the Showtime lesbians) play “Fluffing Our Lines” Belgium at 3p. in what has become a must win for the Belch (and a much tougher ask than anticipated).

Nooner is Portugal anally violating Turkiye (still pronounced “Turkey” just spelled weird now, so as not to be confused with Thanksgiving dinner), feel free to nap through that.  Both televised matches are on “big Fox” just fyi.

Also, I would be remiss and less-than-woke not to issue belated congratulations to my humble, beloved #BFIB – who got back to .500 in becoming the 2024 Negro Leagues champions.  I am sure even our Chi**** brethren will have MAD RESPEK for that.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

New thread is up!

LemonJello

THIS ECU v VEN MATCH, I CALL IT A MIDDLE SCHOOL VALENTINE DAY PARTY BECAUSE THERE’S BEEN SO MANY CARDS GIVEN OUT JUST IN THIS FIRST HALF!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ecuador cho-cho-chooses violence.

Dunstan

One of my not-at-all-guilty pleasures is an Australian show from the 2000s called McLeod’s Daughters, about two half-sisters who jointly inherent their dad’s ranch in Southern Australia. (Do I love, the feisty tough sexy brunette farmgirl, or the perky sexy blonde city girl? The correct answer is “yes”!)

Anyway, the current episode involves an Italian backpacker who has overstayed his visa, because he doesn’t want to go home and be drafted into the army and get killed or have to kill people. Was Italy involved in some pre-9/11 conflict I wasn’t aware of? Is this some alternate universe? Damnit I need my Aussie soaps to make sense!

Doktor Zymm

Is the show supposed to be contemporaneous? Because Italy got rid of the draft in 2000

Edit: Rather they voted to abolish it in 2000 with the actual abolition happening Jan 2003. They were involved in peacekeeping operations around the time, but that’s it

Last edited 4 months ago by Doktor Zymm
Dunstan

Pretty sure, yeah. Google says it began airing in fall of 2001, and this is a first season episode that I assume had to be written pre-9/11. They have cell phones and shit.

Doktor Zymm

I read in one article that a lot of wealthy Italians would go abroad to avoid the draft. Apparently they had a mandatory 10-months of service which was mostly a super boring waste of time. If you were a conscientious objector you spent that 10 months working with a charity. I’m gonna guess the writers just didn’t do much research

Dunstan

Oh, yeah, this ain’t that kind of show. The Italian dude is a bundle of cliches.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s awesome we should study it to learn how to do a better job of making fun of jjfozz.

LemonJello

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Don T

Hm. This game seems to be turning into murderball. 🍿 🍺

Don T

Ecuador’s very ➡️. So it’s Cold War-ish.

WCS

A lot Latin American countries sort of hate each other in a sibling sort of way.

Don T

For studs to the throat. Pussyfication everywhere smh11!!1

yeah right

Eating a chili dog is not that different than eating a taco but your neck has to bend even lower if you want to keep your hands clean.

This is your cleanliness tip for the day.

Dunstan

That will come in handy next time I’m hanging out behind the Tasty Freeze

Dunstan
WCS

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SHAME CALZONE ORDER PLACED

Dunstan

Anything is better than those ads where the fans order the referee around.

Doktor Zymm

I feel dumber after reading this. Apparently I wear young people socks, although it’s just because I wear boots most of the time
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/06/20/style/gen-z-crew-socks-ankle-millennials.html?unlocked_article_code=1.1k0.2lph.yywavcUX5JFj&smid=url-share

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The next game is in an hour? So…much…soccer…

WCS

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Waffles for all

Doktor Zymm

If I had a bucket list, making it rain waffles would be on it

Horatio Cornblower

Lukaku has clearly been cursed, and the Belgians are playing the Romanians? Coincidence? I think not!

Horatio Cornblower

Local news keeps breaking in to tell me there’s a big thunderstorm outside and I should stay inside.

I’m not sure they’re aware that my house has windows, and that I am well aware of what’s going on.

Dunstan

My apartment complex management sends out an email blast every time it’s windy to ask us to close our windows. (“Windy” is apparently anything > 2 mph)

blaxabbath

Do you live in the same apartment at Dumb and Dumber?

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

Are they afraid air might get into your place?

Dunstan

They might be trying to quarantine my stench

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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scotchnaut

BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!

rockingdog

That DeBroommm goal
Was ROCKING!!!

rockingdog

The Lukaku goal was disallowed??
Lame.
Well that’s NOT Rocking

scotchnaut

Cheeky assist from Broom denied by VAR.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man, Lukaku is a beast.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What’s Flemish for “fuck”? Is it “fuck”? Because watching DeBruyne’s lips just then make me think it is.

Doktor Zymm

“Fuck” is universal. People the world over use it no matter what the equivalent is in whatever language they’re speaking

scotchnaut

Just guessing, but the blue-haired dude on the Romanian side is not the answer to their problems.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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yeah right

Now this is more like it.

Fucking 74 and sunny and the walk was gorgeous, the music was grinding and I had the biggest goddamn smile on my face.

Come visit me in Pedro folks. I’ll show this town off and there will be homemade comestibles and drinks.

Last edited 4 months ago by yeah right
blaxabbath

Stay out of SoCal. Bunch of lunatics just walking around wearing smiles like the real brilliance of living there is forgetting you witness that natural environment everyday and every morning is like your first and you’re hypnotized enough by Mother Surf that you don’t get why NOT JUST ANYONE can make it the Glintz and Glamour of San Pedro too because, hey fellas, we’re on America’s Interstate Highway System — see ya at the drop off of the 10. DURRRRRRRRRR

yeah right

Apart from the George Patton museum out in the middle of goddamn nowhere that drive to Arizona is dystopian.

Nah. You’ll have to come here.

blaxabbath

Phoenix will be a suburb of LA soon. I’ll take the LA Subway system then.

WCS