Half-Rear-Ended Fantasy FITBAW Roundtable

As DonT wisely noted, we are really in the FITBAW pre-season now.  As such, why not throw some fantasy ideas onto the Clubhouse wall, see what sticks?  I mean, it’s probably a pretty worthless endeavoUr, but hey.  At least we serve it up fairly priced.

Who is your “value” QB target(s)?

King Hippo – My “money league” will feature CJ Stroud as a $2 keeper.  Though I am a bit distressed regarding how down analysts that I read (Rotowire, The Athletic mostly) seeem to be on him.  Usually, my trick is throwing out a name at auction that I don’t really want, in the 8-12 ranked range – just to see what I’m likely to have to pay for one of the 2/3 guys I like in Tier Three.  But I might just dumpster dive with Wee Bryce Young (RW #29) – it’s nice to have depth one can easily cut.  Though I will surely eyeball the price tag on Prison Girlfriend (RW #12) – it’s kind of “shit or get off the pot” time for him/her.

Litre – Looking at the list I reckon I would be happy with Baker Mayfield. He would be a value and will probably settle in this year. He has Evans, and Godwin so you know it will not be a lack of talent at WR that will trip him up. I also think that Goff will be higher that his QB15 that I see in most ratings. I also hope Rodgers breaks his fibula in week one just for the headlines.

Also comeback SZN?

SonOfSpam – Good year to wait on quarterbacks (because they’re excellent tippers, especially Aaron Rodgers, who only has one working Achilles tendon so you can tip him easily, damn, this digression has really gotten away from me), so assuming we’re looking outside the Top 5, I like Burrow to stay healthy and produce, and DAK ham is a safe bet. Going a little deeper? (lol sit down Deanna) Rookie Jayden Daniels is going to have some massive games until his left knee turns into angel hair pasta.

Maestro – I am an agent of chaos. We hardly saw Anthony Richardson at all last year due to those concussions and shoulder surgery and whatnot but I think that even for him to have the chance to learn from the sidelines, he’ll have improved regardless. I think Michael Pittman is a really good receiver and I think that Jonathan Taylor is a really versatile RB – from this offensive standpoint, I think you could get Richardson super duper cheap and get way more bang for your buck elsewhere.

2024’s version of the 500s (real-life relevance and unexpected fantasy points)?

King Hippo – Sometimes I ask questions without any goddamned idea how to answer them.  This…this is one.  Everybody will be on Chi****, so not them.  Maybe the Raiders?  Good luck figuring out which of their grab bag of skill position dudes will step up in the void of fading/disgruntled Davante.  Plus, the Clips and Donks are going to be just horrific.  Wouldn’t take much to get 4 wins there.

Litre – Blax’s own Kardinal Offishals! You axed for a surprise and sweet Jesus would the Cards ever be one. Wee Kyler to Marvy’s kid could really do something (other than playing video games and hiding guns in a car wash respectively). Also Connor always seems to get points when I am up against him so why not?

SonOfSpam – Kickass song, Litre.(shrugs, puts Christopher Cross Cd on repeat). So howzabout Hotlanta? They’ve got a dynamic young quarterback in Kirk Cousins, plus Bijan the Perfumed Back and Pitts/London to catch Cousins’s floaters. YOU LIKE THAT.. (Shut up Kirk, no one likes that.)

Maestro – NO ONE DENIES WE AHH GONNA HAVE A FACKIN’ REBOUND YEAR-AH. To be fair – I still doubt playoffs are in the picture, especially with a rookie QB, but New England HAVE to be better than the 4-13 record they staggered to last season. If we’re going to be a little more truthful about this question, though… Charmslinger-led Stillers? Will his noodle arm have some proper playcalling help out his lack of range?

What is your WR strategy?  Do you think things have gone too far in emphasizing WR in general?

King Hippo – I really like the Top 5/6, if I can grab an elite(ish) playmate for Justin Jefferson (again, keeper), I am a very happy Hippo.  But only spend real money for a 2nd banana if you think he could realistically produce like a 1st banana.  Usually, there are a handful of guys I like in the 20-30 range, and I will pay medium sums for two.  I had JJ, Davante (paid too much), and Aiyuk (bargain) last season.  They saved me from myself, though I still lost 1st round.  Because I suck.  I do like what I read from Michael Salfino (IIRC) earlier this week, don’t use minimum bid depth here.  Load up on $5-7 guys, a few will always break through.  When in doubt, young players on teams you think will have bad defenses.

Litre – Jefferson will not be a highflyer as Ghosty McMono is throwing him balls and they have Mr. Jones who will be running angry all season. I believe that there is always a rookie to find. Some hit like Zay Flowers, and some miss like the psycho George Pickens. I tend to wait and look for a #2 like Davonta Smith and then try to hit on say a Nabors, or Odunze very late (I am bad at FF, I have never made the playoffs in this league). I think Odunze will be overshadowed by Allen and Moore but they are old and will probably break.

SonOfSpam – Wide receiver is plenty deep, so I like to go for quantity. Sure, one CeeDee could win your league, but think of what five DeMarcus Robinsons could do! Agree totally with the esteemed Litre and grab a rookie or two. No, not like that Coach Sandusky. Get your kicks above the waistline sunshine. Another good strategy is time travel to last season and grab Puka Nacua.

Maestro – PPR guys are the bread and butter of a bench. If you’re tiny and white, there’s room for you in my flex option, I’m sure. Mostly I just am mad at guys like Will Fuller, who really only ever caught TDs like once every other game and then did literally absolutely nothing the entire rest of the time they were on the field. If that’s your role, just know I hate you for it from the depths of my soul.

Since we are old farts, we remember RB being king – what does your ideal RB room look like?

King Hippo – I want one guy to be a no-brainer starter – though that usually isn’t apparent right away.  I usually take two mid-range guys, assume one will hit (Rachaad White last year) and one will bust (Founding Fathers).  Then I throw lots of darts and am super active on waivers.  Waiver priority should always, ALWAYS be used for RB speculation.  Playable WR depth will always be there, if willing to think hard enough (and play matchups).  More “rocket ship” RBs than WR (TE is even MOAR likely, I think), and rocket ships win titles.

Litre – I want Barkley and that is that. I will fly my Iggles flag high and when he blows a knee in week 3 I will be relegated to the Lowratio league. I also use and abuse the waiver wire trying to hit on a replacement when someone gets hurt. I drafted Chubb last year in a couple drafts, that did not work out AT ALL. Antonio Gibson can eat a bag of dicks for letting a dude who was fucking shot beat him out.

I also believe that Beaty Mixon will have a good year but then again it seems that the 500s RB’s always get hurt and there is only one ball and Stroud has to spread it around kind of like Houston if you think about it. I learned that Cam Akers is still a thing when Beaty gets hurt.

SonOfSpam – My running backs room is gonna be tasteful, with muted tones and can lighting, and two sexy couches so that my sex life can have variety. In addition, I agree that you must have one no-brainer stud (I will draft Barkley then trade him to Litre for a king’s ransom), and that three of your first five or six picks should be RBs. They are fewer in number, so hoard away. (There’s a reason Leroy Hoard was a running back.) I’m probably gonna keep Devon Achane because of his cheapitude, but I thoroughly expect him to disappoint, much like what my couches expect of me.

Maestro – If you can’t catch a swing pass, then fuck outta here. As a playcaller, I sure hate having to watch those dumpoffs and screens in motion, but as a fantasy option, you gotta have hands. Also, draft Tractorcito. Just do it. He won’t be top of the first round this year which just makes him all the more valuable. Dude has Lamar! as his QB this season. He’s gonna have a monster year, I’m sure.

Are placement kickers people?

King Hippo – Absolutely goddamned NOT.  It took everything I had not to rage-quit Freezer Vodka over this point of order.

Litre – You will not quit, you will just continue bitching year after year about it. TWBS would like it that way. Is Harrison Butker not man enough for you?

SonOfSpam – Not really, but they’re something, like a fraction of a person. There should be some sort of compromise. Maybe like five-ninths or seven-elevenths. Too bad Jerry Richardson is dead; he may have had thoughts on this subject.

Maestro – just like in The League, one of the first fantasy leagues I was part of many years ago featured a guy who literally didn’t know shit about football. His first seven picks were: Robbie Gould, the Bears’ D, then five more kickers. He may not have understood football, but he saw the value in hoarding resources and brokering deals with others to get what he needed out of it. Anyways, that fucker got a series of good receivers and QBs for pennies on the dollar because rules said we HAD to have a kicker. He bumbled his way to a playoff spot. Anyways, that’s why I hate capitalism.

Oh, the question was about whether kickers are people. If they continuously see themselves exploited for exorbitant profit like in my earlier example, then I would have to argue that no, they are not people.

tWBS Fantasy Football Leagues!

Since our dear friend passed away we’ve been running his league. It’s free! There are 14 luminaries in there who play for the fun of it. Past champions are Senor Weaselo, SonofSpam, Mr Ayo, and Sharkbait. Their prizes ALWAYS have been sent from up here and include at minimum a shitty half mickey of vodka and a Big Turk. I believe that tWBS would want it that way.

This year due to interest we have decided to start the Lowratio Ligue deux that will be governed with an iron fist by Sir Lemonjello. We’ve also decided that there will be promotion and relegation from one to the other. Due to Yahoo’s limitations on the consolation bracket and pure chaos there will be 4 teams going up, and 4 going down. The semifinalists in the playoffs of the Lowratio league will come up, while the last 4 in the consolation bracket will be going down.

Freezer Vodka league consists of myself Litre, co-commissioner (in case I die) Gametimedecision, the four gentlemen mentioned as past champs above plus, the Hippo, Balls, Maestro, Don T, Rev, Dok Zymm, BeerguyRob, and Scotchy.

Lowratio league consists of Lemonjello, Yeah Right, Gumbygirl, Blax, BC Dick, DJ Taz, Horatio, Duke Lacrosse, Armed and Hammered, Brocky, Brick, RTD, and Bugeyedboo (I think). We do have one more spot available. 2Pack? Rockingdog? WCS? BFC? Dunstan? Beefreefer? Boris? Redshirt? Bueller? Bueller?

Here’s the link; https://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/209105/invitation?key=3a07144c86507a29&soc_trk=lnk&ikey=79d23a09c66a6ad9

Due to each league being 14 teams the waiver wire the first couple of years was as slim as I was in high school so we’ve made adjustments. There are no keepers so you start with a fresh slate every year. The draft is a snake draft and it goes quick as we have set the pick time at 30 seconds.

Positions – QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, TE, WRT (flex), KICKER!!! (Silence Hippo), DST, 4 on your bench and 1 IR.

Scoring – Passing 4 pts TD, -1 pick, .5 ppr, the rest is standard. Fumbres -1, pick 6 -3.

Kicking points are a bit different. Will there be chaos? Indeed.