Oh my cats, next week, I will even have a handful of JV NFL fixtures to write up.  Our long national/international nightmare is over!  FITBAW!!!!

You might suspect Hippo is irritated that YET AGAIN the Redshite filth open with a newly-promoted minnow.  Especially given that it is in a stand-alone window (7:30, USA).  You’d be right, on both counts.  But if the Ipswiches even DRAW the Bitches?  Oh, a mammal can always dream.  At least the match is at Portman Road.  I enjoy learning names of new grounds, if only FOAR a brief flicker of time.

Four on the 10:00 floor, with NBC paywalling the far superior Toffees/Trashbirds (we are their bogey side!) and televising King’s Afrikan Water Pistols hosting and skullfucking hapless Wolves (USA).  You could also stream Robins Hood/Cherries, and thank the Good LAWD ain’t nobody gots to watch Sham Town at Barcodes.

Our first Spotlight Dance?  A compelling, under-the-radar match without a “brand name” draw.  Is NBC showing some RESPEK to the now-kinda-sophisticated Murrikan audience?  Fronk’s Hammers (the hot thang that turned sour milk) host their potential-heir-apparent, Unai Emery’s universally admired Villans (12:30, NBC).  Will be interesting to see how the hosts set up in attack, post-Moyes era.  Our cunty Midlands pals would be wise to rack up some points before the “twice a week” calendar starts up after the international break.  Will it hurt to see Amadou Onana in non-Toffee coloUrs?  Yes.  Yes it will.  Thanks so much FOAR asking!

One gets a very nice Sunday Brunch double, with Praise Beesus hosting Palace early (9:00, USA) followed by City of Men’s banana skin slide down to Stamford Bridge (11:30, Peacock).  WEEK ONE IS TOO GODDAMNED EARLY FOR NON-BROADCAST FUCKERY LIKE THIS, NBC.

But seriously, buy Peacock.  They even gave y’all Scott Muthafuckin’ Olympiad Hanson.  They’s a-ight.

Erstwhile Foxy Footy welcomes Spurs for the initial round of MNF (3:00, USA).  You’ll forget to watch, and miss pretty much fuckall.

Ballsy’s La Liga Paragraph

I concur with teh Hippo in that Peacock is actually pretty damn good. I got an annual deal that included the Olympics and will run out sometime during the season. I may actually continue paying for it. It’s that good.

Somehow someway, ABC is showing Barcelona versus Valencia today! 12:30 Best Coast time, 3:30 Least Coast time, and 4:30 Piña Colada time.

It’s difficult for me to say this, but it will be a major surprise if any team comes within fifteen points of Real Madrid at the end of the year. They’re that good. I encourage you to watch them.

Banner image coUrtesy of Low Commander and Our AI Overlords.  HAIL!