Back In The Saddle Again-Your First REAL Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread of 2024

It’s been a long time coming for a game that counts in the regular season standings but we’re here and it’s great. [mutes TV] I’ll provide my own ball-washing should I feel the need, thank you very much! A few little notes and then I’ll wax elephant regarding the tilt on offer.

-Darius Slay, no doubt influenced by folks on twitter, said some dumb, ill-informed things about Sao Paolo and is now walking it back. No doubt influenced by folks on twitter, he’s saying all nice things about the country and how he can’t wait to play there. Fucking dumbass.

-The Steelers essentially replaced Matt Canada with Arthur Smith (a real American name, damnit!) and one might be inclined to believe the results may be nearly the same. Also, Russell Wilson has an ankle owie but I’m sure he’ll be fine to start.

-The teen that shot Niners rookie wr Rickey Pearsall was mighty contrite at his arraignment, saying he was “very sorry”. Well, that just about wraps that up-silly kids and their gun-related shenanigans, have you ever?

To The Game!

Ravens/Chiefs:

-If you’ve the memory of a gerbil like me, these squadoos met in the AFC Champeenship and we know how that went down.

-Many a Baltimore fan was angry and perplexed that their team ran only 11 times after the 1st quarter that day, seemingly wandering away from their strength. Are they going to lean even harder into the run game this year? A certain signing would leave one to believe so.

-Lamar is 1-4 vs Mahomes but guess what, most everybody is. Something I did not know-he finished 4th in both passer rating and yards per attempt. The gossip was that he really worked on his delivery/throwing motion and that bore fruit.

-The other (huge) piece, King Henry enters his age 30 season and I’ve no doubt he’ll have a monster season barring injury. Though one must say that age 30+ rb’s that are effective are a rare breed. I think back to John Riggins, Adrian Peterson, Ottis Anderson, Frank Gore and Ricky Williams. The thing that those guys had in common though was that they missed entire seasons or didn’t play regularly for long stretches of time so had escaped the thousands of hits they’d otherwise rack up.

-Proppage-Isiah Pacheko is marked down at 80.5 combined yardage and with Clyde Edwards-Helaire out at the moment this looks like a gimee. Also, Rashee Rice looks like he’s going over his 5.5 receptions number unless Kelce decides to turn into a ballhog.

Welcome back, we’ve missed you!

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Don T

Announcer: “ And now, to guilt-trip and genuflect…”
I assume. It’s on Mute #Obvio

Spur

Which one you is on the Russian take? Can you refer me?
I wouldn’t mind some extra cash to post some batshit stupid crap for the Boomers and Incels echo chamber. I do it now for free, might as well get paid.

Brocky

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Okay, that’s funny

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dHWvn3oqmM
Every season I tell myself to post this, and I forget.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvNzhKTXweQ

litre_cola

No national anthems should be sung before sporting events.

Doktor Zymm

I wouldn’t mind if they did a medley of the anthems of all the countries even tangentially involved

litre_cola

Like a Remix?

Doktor Zymm

With new verses by guest performers!

King Hippo

This is a really, really dumb song.

Gumbygirl

They’ve got hundreds of years of African American musical tradition to borrow from, and that’s the best they can do?

fleshwound_NPG

somebody wanted to combine the powers of philadelphia with brazil

fully expect a flare gun fight by the 2nd quarter

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Spur

Are batteries flammable? Asking for a friend

fleshwound_NPG

*watches exploding tesla videos*

…you are not gonna believe this!

WCS

In 4.5 months, I’ve taken three separate calls for Teslas burning themselves up.

Not a great batting average.

Horatio Cornblower

I’d say you’re doing great!

ArmedandHammered

lithium ones.

LemonJello

I believe lithium batteries will burn/explode.

litre_cola

Should I drop Flowers for Godwin due to weather???

litre_cola

Too late.

Mr. Ayo

Of course

Don T

Collinsworth Jr. either lost a bet or just lcked into Filene’s Basement because that blouse and suit combo, Cristo Jesús.

WCS

116 comments, and the game hasn’t start.

THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE

Also,

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Does God hate the Ravens or Chiefs?

The answer is “yes.”

ArmedandHammered

you can no longer post amazon links

Mr. Ayo

You’re not his supervisor!

LemonJello

In general, or just BoSaF specifically?

WCS

Legitimate question!

ArmedandHammered

Is Dungy in Brazil for the game? Using his nosferatu like visage to keep kidnappers at bay?

Gumbygirl

He and nepo boy were in an alley last night, with Rodney Harrison, on some godawful nfl show last night. I was rooting for the favela gangsters.

Gumbygirl

This happened last night.

jjfozz

Maybe this visage works better

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LemonJello

Folks. We made it.

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Redshirt

Hank Williams Jr.: “Are you ready for some football?!”
Mother Nature: “No.”

fleshwound_NPG

tswift with some cleavage tonight, chiefs win AND cover

litre_cola

Are those overalls? litre likes ladies in overalls.

King Hippo

teh Cruel Summer video, eh??

Gumbygirl

My son was terrified of the tall blonde in Bananarama. He said she looked mean.

Gatoraids

KC D going to rise to the occasion

JimU

What kind?

King Hippo

In other words, you’ll be going to bed tonight at 1:16a

Horatio Cornblower

Eh, just do the drive for him. What’s the worst that could happen?

Brocky

Alright, this is pretty funny

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litre_cola

Why is this delayed?

Doktor Zymm

Because Goodell is evil and delights in toying with our emotions I assume

Spur

Andy Reid still needs to finish off his briskets pregame meal.

jjfozz

Andy Reid needed to finish off everyone’s brisket.

Horatio Cornblower

Apparently Colorado School of Mines is playing college football tonight.

My father knew some of their alumni in Vietnam. Said that they were really good at blowing things up.

And that’s why we won that war! USA! USA! USA!

Last edited 2 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
JimU

Like my three team parlay!

Mr. Ayo

Thanks! Same to you, too!

LemonJello

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litre_cola

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Horatio Cornblower

Me, getting ready to order poutine in Montreal.

Bogdanski

Alright, wasn’t allowed to subscribe to peacock for olympics, but put my foot down tonight! I’m psyched (until she gets back to town and sees the cc statement). Here we go

ballsofsteelandfury

Wait, is this shit seriously on Peacock only???

fleshwound_NPG

no, nbc is not that insane

yet

LemonJello

I thought Friday’s match in Brazil is Peacock only?

fleshwound_NPG

oh now that? im not even 100% sure that game happens without at least two riots

Bogdanski

I sunscribed today but it’s really to see the gang war tomorrow

Spur

i could have sworn its Peacock only.

Mr. Ayo

No, it’s on NBC proper also.

Gumbygirl

Tomorrows game.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Just tell her you’re paying for “THE COCK” and I’m sure she’ll understand.

JimU

You either die a hero or you live long enough to become the Patriots. We know what the Chiefs are now.

fleshwound_NPG

except this time if the qb cheats on/ditches his famous wag the world would congratulate him

jjfozz

Independent of each other, my son and I suggested that my wife go to her mother’s tonight. She is fucking insufferable during a football game.

ArmedandHammered

She leaves the kitchen?

jjfozz

She’s in there right now frying chicken cutlets, and yelling in questions about the game, and she has no clue as to what she’s asking.

LemonJello

“Is Taylor Swift singing the anthem?”

“Can you explain the overtime rules?”

“Who thought any of these chucklefucks should be on an NFL studio show?”

jjfozz

I wish her questions were this relevant.

Horatio Cornblower

Next she’ll want to vote.

Mr. Ayo

What happened with the backyard shed?

jjfozz

Still working on getting a good size tv in there, plus it still hasn’t been wired for electricity. Maybe I’ll send her out there tonight.

Spur

Woke NBC just showed a rainbow! Now my son is gay and my wife wants to peg me!

Redshirt

So other than your kid being happy, nothing changed?

jjfozz

My mother in law has told all of my sons that rainbows are signs of God’s love. I have told all of them that it’s the sun reflecting off water droplets.

Redshirt

Fozz Spawn: “Water droplets are our Gods?

Spur

Can’t wait for the early morning report on which Packer/Eagles player is being held for ransom.

fleshwound_NPG

still remember the first indycar sao paulo street race in 2010 and aj foyt saying he saw somebody come aboard the bus he and his team was on with an uzi

if a certain amount of philly fans made the trip (at least one) shit will absolutely happen

Redshirt

“If you don’t play us $3,000,000 American, you’ll never see Kenny Pickett again.”

(click)

“Hello? Hello?”

LemonJello

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LemonJello

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Redshirt

.

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Gumbygirl

That’s the spirit!

Spur

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King Hippo

NBC, all that I ask is for an alternate PJ Harvey/Liz Phair broadcast. That hardly seems unreasonable.

jjfozz

Now I have to add an extra torture table to my dungeon so I can take care of both Collinsworths at the same time.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“I know what you mean. Might I suggest this Milking Table?”

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— Buddy Cole, probably

LemonJello

“Can I get the Amazon link for that? I know a massage parlour that could really use this.”
-Bob Kraft

ballsofsteelandfury

I wonder how much that runs….

ArmedandHammered

probably none at all as it is inanimate object

Mr. Ayo

You could always strap them together face to face on the same table.

King Hippo

I am having a MexiCoke to offset the fried chicken sleepies. Plus, even MOAR for teh fat, ya know??

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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King Hippo

UNSEE!!!!!

Mr. Ayo

Wait, Maria Taylor in all white after laboUr day? How gauche!

jjfozz

She has huge cans. I approve of this message.

Horatio Cornblower

/Turns on NBC
//Sees Chris Simms, Phil Simms
///Turns off NBC

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Someone gave Phil ANOTHER job?! Oh, it was NBC, that makes perfect sense.”

Gumbygirl

I thought that was Jason Garrett? Who knows, who cares!

LemonJello

These talking heads are going to be scraping the bottom of the content barrel if this rain delay goes too much longer.

Mr. Ayo

That’s their natural state of analysis actually.

jjfozz

Is that rain, or the saliva from all of the slurping bestowed upon the Chiefs?

Horatio Cornblower

He certainly was at Agincourt

Horatio Cornblower

Hey guys, what’s on TV?

/grabs remote, puts on Phillies-Marlins game

What?

LemonJello

Leprechaun marathon on SyFy

jjfozz

That fucking goblin Collinsworth has a son, and that fucking little goblin is in the announcing game? Why in fuck does the universe hate me so much?

jjfozz

True. i do loathe the universe. fuck the universe.

Gumbygirl

The universe knows what it did.

JimU

Because you touch yourself.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

https://www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootballtalk/rumor-mill/news/commanders-fire-vp-of-content-rael-enteen-over-comments-caught-on-hidden-camera

“In the video, Enteen referred to players being homophobic and “dumb as all hell,” called fans “high-school-educated alcoholics” and made disparaging comments about Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.”

fleshwound_NPG

enteen is the most libertarian name ive ever heard

ArmedandHammered

Wow, just the amount of Career Ending Comments is amazing.

Doktor Zymm

It’s a bit of an exaggeration, most fans are at least college educated

ballsofsteelandfury

He’s not wrong…

fleshwound_NPG

you KNOW it is gonna be a meastly season if we are already at Weather Game #1

Mr. Ayo

Welp, at least the US Open ladies semis are on

fleshwound_NPG

emma navarro intrigues me

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King Hippo

oh sweet heavenly Christ!!!

fleshwound_NPG

daughter of two billionaires, you have a…*reaches for calculator*

-20129348409871% chance

(these are better odds than me, tho!)

Spur

look at those gams

fleshwound_NPG

get that dumb QR code off my screen nbc, my phone dont do that

-not even android 6.0
-10 years old
-survived 100s of drops, not giving up on it yet

Gumbygirl

I have a zip tie holding the back of mine on.

Doktor Zymm

Huh, I didn’t know his particular type of creepy christianity allowed that

fleshwound_NPG

everyone knows the more cousins spreads balls, the dumber the population of alabama

Redshirt

Update on the Bengals/Chase contract negotiations:

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Doktor Zymm

If only you got a free bag of expired airline peanuts with each purchase

fleshwound_NPG

thats enough to pay for 1.7 receiving yards of football, by a rando from the practice squad

Gumbygirl

You should jump on one of those, Redshirt. Pretty damn good price for a tv that’s only on a few hours in a few weeks each year!

Redshirt

I’m saving up for the scoreboard.

Mr. Ayo

OMG! TAYTAY!

Mr. Ayo

I’d tell you all about my fantasy teams but I’m still annoyed I wasted almost 4 hours in an auction draft on LaboUr Day. That’s a day of rest dammit!

Gumbygirl

Gumby’s Grandma would call you a sneak. Don’t be a sneak.

Doktor Zymm

I got Rashee and Butker in my money league, Henry in Freezer Vodka plus Xavier Worthy on the bench. Will be interesting to see what he gets as far as play time

King Hippo

You’d think when an entire TEAM forgoes its primary coloUr to avoid gang violence potential, that would serve as a reminder for folks to be a polite and circumspect guest in the fine nationacao de Brasil.

Then again, YOU DO MURRIKA, Darius Slay!

I have Pacheco in Vodka (starting obvs) and Perine in Maths Is Hard (on bench, but I am sickeningly proud of his $1 purchase price). Rest assured that the Chefs’ running back corps will receive a total of 5-7 touches per game.

Doktor Zymm

I still don’t understand how wearing a color on an official field of play would provoke gang violence. Just seems obvious that a team from an entirely different continent wearing their team color during a game would be unconnected to any local gang colors. Do they fly the green Brazilian flag in the stadium?

King Hippo

that’s a damned fine point ya got thar

Gumbygirl

Zymm is smrt!

Mr. Ayo

Then why isn’t there gang violence when they wave the green flag at their F1 race?

Answer that libs!

Last edited 2 months ago by Mr. Ayo
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