It’s been a long time coming for a game that counts in the regular season standings but we’re here and it’s great. [mutes TV] I’ll provide my own ball-washing should I feel the need, thank you very much! A few little notes and then I’ll wax elephant regarding the tilt on offer.
-Darius Slay, no doubt influenced by folks on twitter, said some dumb, ill-informed things about Sao Paolo and is now walking it back. No doubt influenced by folks on twitter, he’s saying all nice things about the country and how he can’t wait to play there. Fucking dumbass.
-The Steelers essentially replaced Matt Canada with Arthur Smith (a real American name, damnit!) and one might be inclined to believe the results may be nearly the same. Also, Russell Wilson has an ankle owie but I’m sure he’ll be fine to start.
-The teen that shot Niners rookie wr Rickey Pearsall was mighty contrite at his arraignment, saying he was “very sorry”. Well, that just about wraps that up-silly kids and their gun-related shenanigans, have you ever?
To The Game!
Ravens/Chiefs:
-If you’ve the memory of a gerbil like me, these squadoos met in the AFC Champeenship and we know how that went down.
-Many a Baltimore fan was angry and perplexed that their team ran only 11 times after the 1st quarter that day, seemingly wandering away from their strength. Are they going to lean even harder into the run game this year? A certain signing would leave one to believe so.
-Lamar is 1-4 vs Mahomes but guess what, most everybody is. Something I did not know-he finished 4th in both passer rating and yards per attempt. The gossip was that he really worked on his delivery/throwing motion and that bore fruit.
-The other (huge) piece, King Henry enters his age 30 season and I’ve no doubt he’ll have a monster season barring injury. Though one must say that age 30+ rb’s that are effective are a rare breed. I think back to John Riggins, Adrian Peterson, Ottis Anderson, Frank Gore and Ricky Williams. The thing that those guys had in common though was that they missed entire seasons or didn’t play regularly for long stretches of time so had escaped the thousands of hits they’d otherwise rack up.
-Proppage-Isiah Pacheko is marked down at 80.5 combined yardage and with Clyde Edwards-Helaire out at the moment this looks like a gimee. Also, Rashee Rice looks like he’s going over his 5.5 receptions number unless Kelce decides to turn into a ballhog.
Welcome back, we’ve missed you!
Announcer: “ And now, to guilt-trip and genuflect…”
I assume. It’s on Mute #Obvio
Which one you is on the Russian take? Can you refer me?
I wouldn’t mind some extra cash to post some batshit stupid crap for the Boomers and Incels echo chamber. I do it now for free, might as well get paid.
Okay, that’s funny
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dHWvn3oqmM
Every season I tell myself to post this, and I forget.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvNzhKTXweQ
No national anthems should be sung before sporting events.
I wouldn’t mind if they did a medley of the anthems of all the countries even tangentially involved
Like a Remix?
With new verses by guest performers!
This is a really, really dumb song.
They’ve got hundreds of years of African American musical tradition to borrow from, and that’s the best they can do?
somebody wanted to combine the powers of philadelphia with brazil
fully expect a flare gun fight by the 2nd quarter
Are batteries flammable? Asking for a friend
*watches exploding tesla videos*
…you are not gonna believe this!
In 4.5 months, I’ve taken three separate calls for Teslas burning themselves up.
Not a great batting average.
I’d say you’re doing great!
lithium ones.
I believe lithium batteries will burn/explode.
Should I drop Flowers for Godwin due to weather???
Too late.
Of course
Collinsworth Jr. either lost a bet or just lcked into Filene’s Basement because that blouse and suit combo, Cristo Jesús.
116 comments, and the game hasn’t start.
THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE
Also,
Does God hate the Ravens or Chiefs?
The answer is “yes.”
This one is better and cheaper!
https://www.amazon.com/Master-Extreme-Bondage-Table-Black/dp/B09H3GN6ZX?&linkCode=sl1&tag=best-milking-tables-20&linkId=bae3f99f60466e68fb4d2cb01fffcb41&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl
you can no longer post amazon links
You’re not his supervisor!
In general, or just BoSaF specifically?
Legitimate question!
Is Dungy in Brazil for the game? Using his nosferatu like visage to keep kidnappers at bay?
He and nepo boy were in an alley last night, with Rodney Harrison, on some godawful nfl show last night. I was rooting for the favela gangsters.
This happened last night.
Maybe this visage works better
Folks. We made it.
…to a Rain Delay.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3jfbAcsfX8&pp=ygUcc2hhd3NoYW5rIHJlZGVtcHRpb24gYmF0bWFuIA%3D%3D
Hank Williams Jr.: “Are you ready for some football?!”
Mother Nature: “No.”
tswift with some cleavage tonight, chiefs win AND cover
Are those overalls? litre likes ladies in overalls.
teh Cruel Summer video, eh??
My son was terrified of the tall blonde in Bananarama. He said she looked mean.
KC D going to rise to the occasion
I’m several scotches deep. Yay!
I have to wake youngest kid up at 1:15am for his driving run. Fuckballs!
What kind?
Glenlivet. I was a Dalwhinnie guy but a combined price/tax increase sent the price into the stratosphere.
In other words, you’ll be going to bed tonight at 1:16a
Eh, just do the drive for him. What’s the worst that could happen?
Alright, this is pretty funny
Why is this delayed?
Because Goodell is evil and delights in toying with our emotions I assume
Andy Reid still needs to finish off his briskets pregame meal.
Andy Reid needed to finish off everyone’s brisket.
Apparently Colorado School of Mines is playing college football tonight.
My father knew some of their alumni in Vietnam. Said that they were really good at blowing things up.
And that’s why we won that war! USA! USA! USA!
Like my three team parlay!
Good luck to everyone in Vodka Freezer except for Ayo!
Thanks! Same to you, too!
Me, getting ready to order poutine in Montreal.
Alright, wasn’t allowed to subscribe to peacock for olympics, but put my foot down tonight! I’m psyched (until she gets back to town and sees the cc statement). Here we go
Wait, is this shit seriously on Peacock only???
no, nbc is not that insane
yet
I thought Friday’s match in Brazil is Peacock only?
oh now that? im not even 100% sure that game happens without at least two riots
I sunscribed today but it’s really to see the gang war tomorrow
i could have sworn its Peacock only.
No, it’s on NBC proper also.
Tomorrows game.
Just tell her you’re paying for “THE COCK” and I’m sure she’ll understand.
You either die a hero or you live long enough to become the Patriots. We know what the Chiefs are now.
except this time if the qb cheats on/ditches his famous wag the world would congratulate him
Independent of each other, my son and I suggested that my wife go to her mother’s tonight. She is fucking insufferable during a football game.
She leaves the kitchen?
She’s in there right now frying chicken cutlets, and yelling in questions about the game, and she has no clue as to what she’s asking.
“Is Taylor Swift singing the anthem?”
“Can you explain the overtime rules?”
“Who thought any of these chucklefucks should be on an NFL studio show?”
I wish her questions were this relevant.
Next she’ll want to vote.
What happened with the backyard shed?
Still working on getting a good size tv in there, plus it still hasn’t been wired for electricity. Maybe I’ll send her out there tonight.
Woke NBC just showed a rainbow! Now my son is gay and my wife wants to peg me!
So other than your kid being happy, nothing changed?
Your son was always gay.
My mother in law has told all of my sons that rainbows are signs of God’s love. I have told all of them that it’s the sun reflecting off water droplets.
Fozz Spawn: “Water droplets are our Gods?
“Why are you trying to blind them with science?”
-Your MIL and Thomas Dolby
Can’t wait for the early morning report on which Packer/Eagles player is being held for ransom.
still remember the first indycar sao paulo street race in 2010 and aj foyt saying he saw somebody come aboard the bus he and his team was on with an uzi
if a certain amount of philly fans made the trip (at least one) shit will absolutely happen
“If you don’t play us $3,000,000 American, you’ll never see Kenny Pickett again.”
(click)
“Hello? Hello?”
.
That’s the spirit!
NBC, all that I ask is for an alternate PJ Harvey/Liz Phair broadcast. That hardly seems unreasonable.
Now I have to add an extra torture table to my dungeon so I can take care of both Collinsworths at the same time.
“I know what you mean. Might I suggest this Milking Table?”
— Buddy Cole, probably
“Can I get the Amazon link for that? I know a massage parlour that could really use this.”
-Bob Kraft
Here you go:
https://www.amazon.com/Furniture-Milking-Bondage-furniture-Handmade/dp/B07R6994ZM
I wonder how much that runs….
probably none at all as it is inanimate object
You could always strap them together face to face on the same table.
I am having a MexiCoke to offset the fried chicken sleepies. Plus, even MOAR for teh fat, ya know??
UNSEE!!!!!
Wait, Maria Taylor in all white after laboUr day? How gauche!
She has huge cans. I approve of this message.
/Turns on NBC
//Sees Chris Simms, Phil Simms
///Turns off NBC
“Someone gave Phil ANOTHER job?! Oh, it was NBC, that makes perfect sense.”
I thought that was Jason Garrett? Who knows, who cares!
These talking heads are going to be scraping the bottom of the content barrel if this rain delay goes too much longer.
That’s their natural state of analysis actually.
Is that rain, or the saliva from all of the slurping bestowed upon the Chiefs?
Is King Henry a Mudder?
He certainly was at Agincourt
Hey guys, what’s on TV?
/grabs remote, puts on Phillies-Marlins game
What?
Leprechaun marathon on SyFy
That fucking goblin Collinsworth has a son, and that fucking little goblin is in the announcing game? Why in fuck does the universe hate me so much?
Well, it’s not like you like the universe… It’s reciprocal!
True. i do loathe the universe. fuck the universe.
The universe knows what it did.
Because you touch yourself.
https://www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootballtalk/rumor-mill/news/commanders-fire-vp-of-content-rael-enteen-over-comments-caught-on-hidden-camera
“In the video, Enteen referred to players being homophobic and “dumb as all hell,” called fans “high-school-educated alcoholics” and made disparaging comments about Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.”
enteen is the most libertarian name ive ever heard
Wow, just the amount of Career Ending Comments is amazing.
It’s a bit of an exaggeration, most fans are at least college educated
He’s not wrong…
Upward Failing Jason Garrett Alert!
you KNOW it is gonna be a meastly season if we are already at Weather Game #1
Welp, at least the US Open ladies semis are on
emma navarro intrigues me
oh sweet heavenly Christ!!!
daughter of two billionaires, you have a…*reaches for calculator*
-20129348409871% chance
(these are better odds than me, tho!)
look at those gams
get that dumb QR code off my screen nbc, my phone dont do that
-not even android 6.0
-10 years old
-survived 100s of drops, not giving up on it yet
I have a zip tie holding the back of mine on.
MATH HARD! league has Mooney (Falcons #2 wr) with 3.79 projected points. Everyone knows Cousins is a ball-spreader!
Huh, I didn’t know his particular type of creepy christianity allowed that
everyone knows the more cousins spreads balls, the dumber the population of alabama
Update on the Bengals/Chase contract negotiations:
If only you got a free bag of expired airline peanuts with each purchase
I was with your joke until you said ‘free’.
thats enough to pay for 1.7 receiving yards of football, by a rando from the practice squad
Whatever, what’s the pricing like on velvet Corvette tapestries? Better than the going rate at the Des Moines swap meet this weekend?
You should jump on one of those, Redshirt. Pretty damn good price for a tv that’s only on a few hours in a few weeks each year!
I’m saving up for the scoreboard.
OMG! TAYTAY!
I’d tell you all about my fantasy teams but I’m still annoyed I wasted almost 4 hours in an auction draft on LaboUr Day. That’s a day of rest dammit!
I told wifey it would be 2 hours and change. She went on the hike without me.
Gumby’s Grandma would call you a sneak. Don’t be a sneak.
I got Rashee and Butker in my money league, Henry in Freezer Vodka plus Xavier Worthy on the bench. Will be interesting to see what he gets as far as play time
You’d think when an entire TEAM forgoes its primary coloUr to avoid gang violence potential, that would serve as a reminder for folks to be a polite and circumspect guest in the fine nationacao de Brasil.
Then again, YOU DO MURRIKA, Darius Slay!
I have Pacheco in Vodka (starting obvs) and Perine in Maths Is Hard (on bench, but I am sickeningly proud of his $1 purchase price). Rest assured that the Chefs’ running back corps will receive a total of 5-7 touches per game.
I still don’t understand how wearing a color on an official field of play would provoke gang violence. Just seems obvious that a team from an entirely different continent wearing their team color during a game would be unconnected to any local gang colors. Do they fly the green Brazilian flag in the stadium?
that’s a damned fine point ya got thar
Zymm is smrt!
Then why isn’t there gang violence when they wave the green flag at their F1 race?
Answer that libs!