Back In The Saddle Again-Your First REAL Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread of 2024

It’s been a long time coming for a game that counts in the regular season standings but we’re here and it’s great. [mutes TV] I’ll provide my own ball-washing should I feel the need, thank you very much! A few little notes and then I’ll wax elephant regarding the tilt on offer.

-Darius Slay, no doubt influenced by folks on twitter, said some dumb, ill-informed things about Sao Paolo and is now walking it back. No doubt influenced by folks on twitter, he’s saying all nice things about the country and how he can’t wait to play there. Fucking dumbass.

-The Steelers essentially replaced Matt Canada with Arthur Smith (a real American name, damnit!) and one might be inclined to believe the results may be nearly the same. Also, Russell Wilson has an ankle owie but I’m sure he’ll be fine to start.

-The teen that shot Niners rookie wr Rickey Pearsall was mighty contrite at his arraignment, saying he was “very sorry”. Well, that just about wraps that up-silly kids and their gun-related shenanigans, have you ever?

To The Game!

Ravens/Chiefs:

-If you’ve the memory of a gerbil like me, these squadoos met in the AFC Champeenship and we know how that went down.

-Many a Baltimore fan was angry and perplexed that their team ran only 11 times after the 1st quarter that day, seemingly wandering away from their strength. Are they going to lean even harder into the run game this year? A certain signing would leave one to believe so.

-Lamar is 1-4 vs Mahomes but guess what, most everybody is. Something I did not know-he finished 4th in both passer rating and yards per attempt. The gossip was that he really worked on his delivery/throwing motion and that bore fruit.

-The other (huge) piece, King Henry enters his age 30 season and I’ve no doubt he’ll have a monster season barring injury. Though one must say that age 30+ rb’s that are effective are a rare breed. I think back to John Riggins, Adrian Peterson, Ottis Anderson, Frank Gore and Ricky Williams. The thing that those guys had in common though was that they missed entire seasons or didn’t play regularly for long stretches of time so had escaped the thousands of hits they’d otherwise rack up.

-Proppage-Isiah Pacheko is marked down at 80.5 combined yardage and with Clyde Edwards-Helaire out at the moment this looks like a gimee. Also, Rashee Rice looks like he’s going over his 5.5 receptions number unless Kelce decides to turn into a ballhog.

Welcome back, we’ve missed you!

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blaxabbath

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS JACK COLLINSWORTH?!

litre_cola

There is a fucking younger Collinsworth? Why Lord? WHYYY?

Unsurprised

Because you touch yourself

fleshwound_NPG

late capitalism: Oops, All Nepos!

blaxabbath

The State Fair is giving out free tickets to Armed Forces for 10/11.

I signed up for four. Gonna show my boy what being in a live war zone is really like.

LemonJello

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blaxabbath

All you have to do is enter access code: USAA. It says it right on the page.

Which is good — don’t be fucking filtering out any Stolen Valor because it at all inconveniences me.

Doktor Zymm

First halftime?
You know what to do.
This cat in a wig also knows!
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Unsurprised

NOT MY PRESIDENT

Unsurprised

My liege.

fleshwound_NPG

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that meow men are created equal

WCS

First night at 9-1-1 AND foobawl?!
With the Clubhouse?!?

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Harbs remains a pansy bitch

Unsurprised

I’ve reached the point where next trip to the freezer is me pouring seltzer into the vodka bottle.

Mr. Ayo

Atta boy

fleshwound_NPG

refs not knowing the rules?

yes, add more gambling to sports!

Gatoraids

Overtime will become Break the Deal , Spin the Wheel sponsored by DraftBlasters

Unsurprised

Fuck it. Eliminate all pretense of impartiality in favor of whomever can muscle the most refs.

makeitsnowondem

A second Proper Pour has struck my palate.

It’s good btw, it’s really good.

Unsurprised

I want to salute this.

Doktor Zymm

“Flowers in Motion” sounds like a smooth jazz album title

Horatio Cornblower

Better than Flowers In The Attic

ballsofsteelandfury

I have to say, watching this on Peacock is SOO much better than NBC! Yes, you still have the announcers, but the commercials are limited!

Doktor Zymm

I have the ability to tune out any commercials that aren’t advertising cat wigs

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

The normal stream has a .5 FPS rate. So I watch the Spanish language one. Better still.

clint greasewood

PAT MAHOMES LEADS THE LEAGUE IN INTS

fleshwound_NPG

oh kermit

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN FROG CHANGE!

Redshirt

Tucker missed a field goal? So, it’s that kind of night for Baltimore.

fleshwound_NPG

finally a tucker goes left

Mr. Ayo

Go for it again, Harbs! You can do it!

Doktor Zymm

Imagine Butker and JD Vance at a state fair trying to act like normal humans

ArmedandHammered

Don’t care as long as he gets me points. What few he can.

Gatoraids

Star spangled banner inspired the Ravens to collect as many flags as possible

litre_cola

So weight loss makes you faster? Thank Cris you fuckwit, where is Jerome Bettis from?

fleshwound_NPG

this man has more rings than cris

fridge-72.jpg
Doktor Zymm

Although in a vacuum both a fat guy and a thin guy will fall at the same speed!

litre_cola

Vacuum? By God that’s Dr. RTD’s music!

JustStopDude

Evening. Anyone know what the local NFL channel is here in Algeria?

I’m here for work and can’t make heads or tails of the fucking tv

Mr. Ayo

YouTube TV or DAZN. No local channels

ArmedandHammered

are you able to stream something like Fubo? Oh, and great to see commenting again!

Doktor Zymm

I’m guessing it’s just nothing but anti-French programming?

litre_cola

If Bruno taught me anything, it is about Les Pieds Noirs.

Doktor Zymm

I’m kind of amazed that I learned more about French colonialist atrocities from a culinary mystery series than anywhere else

Gumbygirl

It’s the Dude! Welcome back to all of our seasonal visitors. We love our snowbirds!

Gatoraids

Another Chiefs Field Goal sponsored by Tenet Media

King Hippo

We’re Just Asking Questions Here!

Gatoraids

did the check clear?

fleshwound_NPG

THIS TENET MEDIA LEMME TELL YA I CALL THEM DAN SNYDER IN FREE AGENCY BACK IN THE DAY FOR THE REDACTEDS BECAUSE SO MUCH MONEY GETS BURNED FOR USELESS PEOPLE

Unsurprised

Genuinely the biggest waste of money. If this is the best the Russians can do to manipulate anyone in the U.S., they are so fucked it’s genuinely funny.

King Hippo

Worthy plays good D, too

litre_cola

Showtime.

Brocky

My maternal grandfather always liked the old school chiefs teams, he liked that len Dawson and hank strahm were purdue guys, and he told be he rooted against the packers in super bowl I

King Hippo

So, Chefs are still good. Film at 11.

fleshwound_NPG

also, balmore still unreliable

King Hippo

Like the terlet at Harry’s Pub

fleshwound_NPG

oh, so thats what shes wearincomment image

ballsofsteelandfury

Um, fuck yeah.

Brocky

It’s sexy Friday already in japan

Brocky

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…

The fact that some losers are so bothered by her that they try to argue that she’s somehow unattractive….

fleshwound_NPG

its because shes tall. they are so intimidated by tall women that are actually hot

Doktor Zymm

Apparently there is even a contingent that argues she is a man, because of course there is

Mr. Ayo

I’ve seen Trans, but not full man.

Dunstan

They’d like you to forget that there was a time when those same dudes held her up as the exemplar of white womanhood, because they hoped she was one of them.

Unsurprised

I get that she’s checklist hot, but she doesn’t do shit for me. Especially the face. I hate that horse girl face.

Mr. Ayo

Fuck yes, thigh highs!

ballsofsteelandfury

I smell a sexy Friday theme!

Mr. Ayo

Scratch and Sniff Sexy Friday?

Unsurprised

Fresh leather smells so fucking good.

ballsofsteelandfury

That was a dumb play

Brocky

Flirst flourth downss stooo…

falls over

Mr. Ayo

DRINK!!

Mr. Ayo

Way ahead of me

Unsurprised

Pussy

King Hippo

Ain’t nobody like no quitter, Brocky

fleshwound_NPG

fucking lol harbs

King Hippo

Bateman is still in the League?

litre_cola

I wondered that as well.

King Hippo

He must be one hell of a run blocker.

Doktor Zymm

Profanity is a leadership skill? I KNEW IT!

King Hippo

glad Litre lucked into not subbing Zay out!

fleshwound_NPG

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Brocky

I would way drink for the first field goal of the year, but not for butker

Mr. Ayo

Chefs receivers still dropping passes? Pity that.

Brocky

Me: imma say it….

Brain: dont….

Me: imma say it!

Brain: .. don’t you dare

Me: first time out of the season?

DRINK!!!

Mr. Ayo

Way ahead of you

Horatio Cornblower

I’m picking a jury tomorrow and can’t.

This is the worst thing to happen to anyone in the history of humanity.

fleshwound_NPG

yes harbs, have a rookie backup lineman go toe to toe with chris jones by himself

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Hands of Stone

Gatoraids

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Unsurprised

Is Chris Collinsworth talking about men like Captain Over again?

LemonJello

KC Defense misunderstood Coach Reid saying “I want a turnover!” on the sideline.

Doktor Zymm

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Doktor Zymm

How many middle school boys out there claim that they’re totally capable of growing a real mustache, they just choose not to because they want to look like Mahomes?

Brocky

First turnover of the year

DRINK!!!

Mr. Ayo

Way head of you

makeitsnowondem

What are we drinking tonight? I’ve found that a Kansas City game almost always calls for Kansas City beer, so I’ve got the Boulevard Proper Pour.

Gatoraids

Long Island Iced Teas cuz fuck Friday

Mr. Ayo

Freezer vodka

fleshwound_NPG

after the kid goes to bed grabbin the last bud in the garage fridge with salsa/chips

King Hippo

sweet, sweet opium

litre_cola

Gravy

Don T

Very cheap 4 reelz champagne. Hey, it’s bubbly plus rd6?’ezkohc 🫁🍀

WCS

Coffee.

Wakezilla

The NFL needs to bring in the rouge

Gatoraids

Break sponsored by Accenture meaning it will take twice as long as scheduled

Brocky

Also, I forgot one:

First punt of the season!

DRINK!!!

Mr. Ayo

Way ahead of you

Brocky

First Taylor Swift sighting of the season….

DRINK!

Mr. Ayo

Way ahead of you

Unsurprised

Hemlock?

fleshwound_NPG

was once a complainer about tswift being at these games but buddy, if she wears stuff like that at games i cannot complain

King Hippo

shoulders were indeed noticed

Unsurprised

Xfinity is really selling, as a feature, that it can track everything in your home using wifi EM radiation. We are so far into Hell that it\’s curving back around into Satan’s Infinite Asshole.

Gumbygirl

That shit came in handy today. Gumby’s having trouble getting around, and the phone showed me an easier way to help him get up off the bed or couch.

Unsurprised

Cattle prod and Astroglide?

ArmedandHammered

Fork lift. All kidding aside, I could have used one to help my mom with my dad.

litre_cola

Oh we still doing the tomahawk chop are we?

LemonJello

I believe they call it the Brisket Chop in Kansas City

Unsurprised

Mmmmmmm. Chopped brisket.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Worthy’s fast. Glad the Bills didn’t waste a draft pick on That Guy.

King Hippo

Glad he’s on my opponent’s bench, too

litre_cola

Keon is the truth.