It’s been a long time coming for a game that counts in the regular season standings but we’re here and it’s great. [mutes TV] I’ll provide my own ball-washing should I feel the need, thank you very much! A few little notes and then I’ll wax elephant regarding the tilt on offer.
-Darius Slay, no doubt influenced by folks on twitter, said some dumb, ill-informed things about Sao Paolo and is now walking it back. No doubt influenced by folks on twitter, he’s saying all nice things about the country and how he can’t wait to play there. Fucking dumbass.
-The Steelers essentially replaced Matt Canada with Arthur Smith (a real American name, damnit!) and one might be inclined to believe the results may be nearly the same. Also, Russell Wilson has an ankle owie but I’m sure he’ll be fine to start.
-The teen that shot Niners rookie wr Rickey Pearsall was mighty contrite at his arraignment, saying he was “very sorry”. Well, that just about wraps that up-silly kids and their gun-related shenanigans, have you ever?
To The Game!
Ravens/Chiefs:
-If you’ve the memory of a gerbil like me, these squadoos met in the AFC Champeenship and we know how that went down.
-Many a Baltimore fan was angry and perplexed that their team ran only 11 times after the 1st quarter that day, seemingly wandering away from their strength. Are they going to lean even harder into the run game this year? A certain signing would leave one to believe so.
-Lamar is 1-4 vs Mahomes but guess what, most everybody is. Something I did not know-he finished 4th in both passer rating and yards per attempt. The gossip was that he really worked on his delivery/throwing motion and that bore fruit.
-The other (huge) piece, King Henry enters his age 30 season and I’ve no doubt he’ll have a monster season barring injury. Though one must say that age 30+ rb’s that are effective are a rare breed. I think back to John Riggins, Adrian Peterson, Ottis Anderson, Frank Gore and Ricky Williams. The thing that those guys had in common though was that they missed entire seasons or didn’t play regularly for long stretches of time so had escaped the thousands of hits they’d otherwise rack up.
-Proppage-Isiah Pacheko is marked down at 80.5 combined yardage and with Clyde Edwards-Helaire out at the moment this looks like a gimee. Also, Rashee Rice looks like he’s going over his 5.5 receptions number unless Kelce decides to turn into a ballhog.
Welcome back, we’ve missed you!
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS JACK COLLINSWORTH?!
There is a fucking younger Collinsworth? Why Lord? WHYYY?
Because you touch yourself
late capitalism: Oops, All Nepos!
The State Fair is giving out free tickets to Armed Forces for 10/11.
I signed up for four. Gonna show my boy what being in a live war zone is really like.
All you have to do is enter access code: USAA. It says it right on the page.
Which is good — don’t be fucking filtering out any Stolen Valor because it at all inconveniences me.
First halftime?
You know what to do.
This cat in a wig also knows!
NOT MY PRESIDENT
My liege.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that meow men are created equal
First night at 9-1-1 AND foobawl?!
With the Clubhouse?!?
Harbs remains a pansy bitch
I’ve reached the point where next trip to the freezer is me pouring seltzer into the vodka bottle.
Atta boy
refs not knowing the rules?
yes, add more gambling to sports!
Overtime will become Break the Deal , Spin the Wheel sponsored by DraftBlasters
Fuck it. Eliminate all pretense of impartiality in favor of whomever can muscle the most refs.
A second Proper Pour has struck my palate.
It’s good btw, it’s really good.
I want to salute this.
“Flowers in Motion” sounds like a smooth jazz album title
Better than Flowers In The Attic
I have to say, watching this on Peacock is SOO much better than NBC! Yes, you still have the announcers, but the commercials are limited!
I have the ability to tune out any commercials that aren’t advertising cat wigs
The normal stream has a .5 FPS rate. So I watch the Spanish language one. Better still.
PAT MAHOMES LEADS THE LEAGUE IN INTS
oh kermit
SUDDEN FROG CHANGE!
Tucker missed a field goal? So, it’s that kind of night for Baltimore.
finally a tucker goes left
Go for it again, Harbs! You can do it!
Imagine Butker and JD Vance at a state fair trying to act like normal humans
Don’t care as long as he gets me points. What few he can.
Star spangled banner inspired the Ravens to collect as many flags as possible
So weight loss makes you faster? Thank Cris you fuckwit, where is Jerome Bettis from?
this man has more rings than cris
Although in a vacuum both a fat guy and a thin guy will fall at the same speed!
Vacuum? By God that’s Dr. RTD’s music!
Evening. Anyone know what the local NFL channel is here in Algeria?
I’m here for work and can’t make heads or tails of the fucking tv
YouTube TV or DAZN. No local channels
are you able to stream something like Fubo? Oh, and great to see commenting again!
I’m guessing it’s just nothing but anti-French programming?
If Bruno taught me anything, it is about Les Pieds Noirs.
I’m kind of amazed that I learned more about French colonialist atrocities from a culinary mystery series than anywhere else
It’s the Dude! Welcome back to all of our seasonal visitors. We love our snowbirds!
Another Chiefs Field Goal sponsored by Tenet Media
We’re Just Asking Questions Here!
did the check clear?
THIS TENET MEDIA LEMME TELL YA I CALL THEM DAN SNYDER IN FREE AGENCY BACK IN THE DAY FOR THE REDACTEDS BECAUSE SO MUCH MONEY GETS BURNED FOR USELESS PEOPLE
Genuinely the biggest waste of money. If this is the best the Russians can do to manipulate anyone in the U.S., they are so fucked it’s genuinely funny.
Worthy plays good D, too
Showtime.
My maternal grandfather always liked the old school chiefs teams, he liked that len Dawson and hank strahm were purdue guys, and he told be he rooted against the packers in super bowl I
So, Chefs are still good. Film at 11.
also, balmore still unreliable
Like the terlet at Harry’s Pub
oh, so thats what shes wearin
Um, fuck yeah.
It’s sexy Friday already in japan
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…
The fact that some losers are so bothered by her that they try to argue that she’s somehow unattractive….
its because shes tall. they are so intimidated by tall women that are actually hot
Apparently there is even a contingent that argues she is a man, because of course there is
I’ve seen Trans, but not full man.
They’d like you to forget that there was a time when those same dudes held her up as the exemplar of white womanhood, because they hoped she was one of them.
I get that she’s checklist hot, but she doesn’t do shit for me. Especially the face. I hate that horse girl face.
Fuck yes, thigh highs!
I smell a sexy Friday theme!
Scratch and Sniff Sexy Friday?
Fresh leather smells so fucking good.
That was a dumb play
Flirst flourth downss stooo…
falls over
DRINK!!
Way ahead of me
Pussy
Ain’t nobody like no quitter, Brocky
fucking lol harbs
Bateman is still in the League?
I wondered that as well.
He must be one hell of a run blocker.
Profanity is a leadership skill? I KNEW IT!
glad Litre lucked into not subbing Zay out!
I would way drink for the first field goal of the year, but not for butker
Chefs receivers still dropping passes? Pity that.
Me: imma say it….
Brain: dont….
Me: imma say it!
Brain: .. don’t you dare
Me: first time out of the season?
DRINK!!!
Way ahead of you
I’m picking a jury tomorrow and can’t.
This is the worst thing to happen to anyone in the history of humanity.
yes harbs, have a rookie backup lineman go toe to toe with chris jones by himself
Hands of Stone
Is Chris Collinsworth talking about men like Captain Over again?
KC Defense misunderstood Coach Reid saying “I want a turnover!” on the sideline.
How many middle school boys out there claim that they’re totally capable of growing a real mustache, they just choose not to because they want to look like Mahomes?
First turnover of the year
DRINK!!!
Way head of you
What are we drinking tonight? I’ve found that a Kansas City game almost always calls for Kansas City beer, so I’ve got the Boulevard Proper Pour.
Long Island Iced Teas cuz fuck Friday
Freezer vodka
after the kid goes to bed grabbin the last bud in the garage fridge with salsa/chips
sweet, sweet opium
Gravy
Very cheap 4 reelz champagne. Hey, it’s bubbly plus rd6?’ezkohc 🫁🍀
Coffee.
The NFL needs to bring in the rouge
Break sponsored by Accenture meaning it will take twice as long as scheduled
Also, I forgot one:
First punt of the season!
DRINK!!!
Way ahead of you
First Taylor Swift sighting of the season….
DRINK!
Way ahead of you
Hemlock?
was once a complainer about tswift being at these games but buddy, if she wears stuff like that at games i cannot complain
shoulders were indeed noticed
Xfinity is really selling, as a feature, that it can track everything in your home using wifi EM radiation. We are so far into Hell that it\’s curving back around into Satan’s Infinite Asshole.
That shit came in handy today. Gumby’s having trouble getting around, and the phone showed me an easier way to help him get up off the bed or couch.
Cattle prod and Astroglide?
Fork lift. All kidding aside, I could have used one to help my mom with my dad.
Oh we still doing the tomahawk chop are we?
I believe they call it the Brisket Chop in Kansas City
Mmmmmmm. Chopped brisket.
Worthy’s fast. Glad the Bills didn’t waste a draft pick on That Guy.
Glad he’s on my opponent’s bench, too
Keon is the truth.